Your Personal History Repeating

I had the strangest thing happen, yesterday. I was out in public, chatting with another gal.  A man approached us and interrupted our conversation.

We turned to him; he put an empty Tupperware container in her hand. I was momentarily confused. I expected him to hand it to me. I cook things for people all the time. While I didn’t recognize the container, I just assumed it was mine. By the time I realized it wasn’t, he’d stuck something else into my hand. I looked down and I truly thought I was going to faint.

To exacerbate the situation, the other woman also saw what he handed me. She raised an eyebrow and I don’t blame her.  She’s in her sixties and I seriously doubt she’s ever seen such an exchange in all her life. The man offered a hushed and coded explanation and he was gone.

“What is that?” she asked. ‘What’s it for?”

Fair question, but I knew in less than a second, I was not going to answer it. Not there. Not then.  I wasn’t exactly about to cry or anything, but I was completely overwhelmed. “I can’t…I can’t explain this right now. I just can’t go into it at this time; I’m sorry.” She didn’t push me, thankfully.

I had to function after this; I didn’t do so well. A couple people asked me questions. I was supposed to be astute but I was nearly struck dumb. “Um…can I speak to you later? I’m a bit discombobulated…”

I didn’t fully understand why I was so knocked for a loop over this. I understood, superficially, but it wasn’t until I got home that I realized how deeply triggered I was.

Maybe this happens to you, I don’t know. But there have been times in my life, and this is one of them, when something happens that is nearly precisely the same as something that has happened before.  It’s like playing cards and being dealt a hand, when you’re ten years old. Now it’s decades later and you realize you are holding these cards again. THE SAME CARDS.

Okay, so the backs of the cards are different. But the cards are still the same cards and what’s insane is when you see it. The moment it comes to your awareness; your life is repeating in this moment in time.  The next question is why.

Some would say, it’s because you didn’t learn the first time. To them, I would say, shaddup! You don’t know what you’re talking about.

It may be that you DID learn the first time and this is why it’s happening again.  So that your experience can be put to use.

Have you ever had this experience?  My 8th house wants to know.

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Comments

Your Personal History Repeating — 46 Comments

    • No, because too many people in my real life read here. It will cause problems.

      It’s bad enough the one woman saw it. I didn’t want to tell her what to do, but I’m hoping she doesn’t mention it to others. I think she probably will though. She’ll want to figure it out, she won’t be able to, so she’ll ask others.

      Then one of the others, more brazen, or perhaps closer to me, will ask me about it. And chances are I will have to not answer. I’m not looking forward to this.

      But it’s irrelevant to what I am writing about, anyway. What was put in my hand just revealed the situation.

      • Hi Elsa
        I’m wondering- if people in your real life read your blog, with some of the secretive information you write about (without revealing 100 percent), are you perhaps whetting their appetite for information about your life? I get a feeling that by leaving the crux of information out, it makes for compelling reading (which is a good thing for a blog!), however, if you’re concerned about people in your real life knowing too much, I feel that they probably know quite a bit already… and are busy filling in the ‘gaps’ in their imagination. I don’t mean to be contentious or rude. I just feel this situation is dichotomous (but maybe there is no alternative way of divulging information without protecting personal circumstances).

        • Kate, I think you are right on all counts and I don’t think you are rude and contentious. But the fact is, this is my JOB. It’s public. Just to come out publicly as an astrologer, is insane and life-ruining. I figured this out with Pluto in my 10th house. It’s decades later so this is not a new thing.

          I have to write to survive. But I do not have to offer information that makes me feel uncomfortable, to anyone, at any time.

          I am also not responsible for where a person’s imagination leads them. There are too many people out there for me to even concern myself with what an individual might think or dream up. What I wrote is exactly what happened. It’s all I want to say at this time.

          I did tell that woman (whom I like), that I’d explain it at some point, but it might be six months. If I do tell her, it will be obvious why I waited. People trust me, Kate, with good reason. I am an honest person with good intentions. This is proven, pretty much every day of my life, since I was a small child. If that’s not enough, then starve, yanno? I’ve got responsibilities and people to protect.

      • Ok, blowing the lid on this, it must have been old Pew, the blind pirate from Treasure Island, giving you the black spot. This goes to prove pirates really did use Tupperware. I knew it, I knew it!

        Really though, good luck for real on everything, Elsa.

  1. This has never happened to me but maybe there is another lesson to be learned?

    If this was a private matter I’d be pretty pissed that this guy did this in front of someone else.

    • I’d be pissed if I did not think he meant well. I am sure he saw the distress he created. I think he just saw us both standing there, had something for each of us so he gave it to us.

      You know how you want to return someone’s dish?? And then you see them and you’re able too> I think he was just putting things away, basically. Efficiently, rather than thoughtfully but a person is human so I’m not getting hung up on this.

      Your other remark is most interesting to me. I am trying to find out if this is common. I think it is karmic (saturn). It’s happened me in such profound ways…not that often but it does happen.

      Once, I got my ass unfairly kicked IN EXACTLY the same way I kicked an ass unfairly. I’m telling you, that was the day I KNEW that what you do, come around. Very valuable ass kicking. I learned.

      The next time was during my Pluto Moon transit. It was an unGodly horror. Like my own personal horror movie, anyone who got near it could only gasp.

      This is akin to the Pluto Moon thing, except I’ve been through the mud already. So when I find these cards in my hand again, it FEELS different.

      It does not feel good, but it sure as hell doesn’t feel like that other time.

      These are a few examples. It’s like a psychodrama I wind up in more than once. And it’s so personal. Astonishingly personal.

      This is one of the things I am taking from Pluto’s transit through my 12th. People aren’t going to understand – don’t even bother. This stuff lives in my gut…it’s non-transferable as far as I can tell.

      • PS, it’s interesting because I wonder if this happens to others…if it does not happen to others, or if it happens and they don’t notice it.

        As an aside, astute people who read my book, pluck the (numerous) patterns out. I did not put the patterns in the book. They just exist. They put themselves in the book because this is how my particular life, goes.

        I am often (if not always) having an exceptional experience. Not that I know this in the moment, necessarily.

        • The 8th house, sun especially, always gives you ‘exceptional experiences’.
          We can only be intrigued by this seeming random event, and that it was not random at all.

          • Yeah, not random. He gave the one woman what was hers. What he put in my hand was mine. He could not have know the depth of this. I don’t know that he ever will. As I said somewhere, he saw the impact. Whether he asks or I offer to explain, is unimportant. We both have faith and faith grows.

  2. Yes, this happens to me frequently. It’s simply cycles playing themselves out but they’re more life spirals. You’re revisited by the same stuff but at a higher point. So, it feels the same but a bit different because your at a higher level in that you’ve been there before and each time become climatized in a way. It gets diluted each time the cycle revisits the same point but there’s still a sting of sorts.

    • This is my perception of life as well. I see it as an upward spiral. It’s like reading the same book every year of your life and getting something new from it every time because you are different. There’s usually only one trajectory that we are on. A theme of sorts.

      To respond to the original question. I think sometimes these things occur just to show me how much I’ve grown.

  3. When I was young I got lost once, cried and a woman helped me.

    One, two years ago, a boy apparently mistook me for his babysitter (what the hell?) and walked a bit by my side. I didn’t notice him until after a minute or so. He started crying. Luckily a woman who was friends with the babysitter and an elderly couple took care of it.

    It immediately reminded me of my youth. Really strange.

    • Another thing:

      I was really young, maybe in 5th grade and I saw a girl I went to primary school still wearing her old jacket. And I thought, ‘Why is she still wearing that?’ It wasn’t an innocent thought, I was looking down on her.

      Flash forward 10 years later. I was so poor that I had to wear the same jacket for 5/6 years.

  4. It’s happened to me, not in the same way but in the same page repeating itself and the perplexed sensation of deja vu , just not escapeable as a sensation but something I’m again forced to endure / witness. A red tread that’s uncomfortably tangible. Sometimes it feels like the lesson not learned , but since I’ve been able to detach a bit from action , I’m more convinced it’s not mine , but I’ve just been overly attuned to receive it.

  5. I’m not sure, but I wonder if there’s something Jupiterian in this exchange or lesson. To me this seems Jupiterian in so many ways. You could call it karmic, but I don’t know that everyone or even most peoples karma is like this. I wouldn’t know how to relate this to my own karma, if you will, because I’m not sure what exactly it means, not knowing what it was that was placed in your hand.??? I will say it does sound exceptional in some way.

    • I’m not sure I understand. But I would not quibble in regards to Jupiter, which rules stories! Jupiter and Saturn are tied in my chart. These stories have weight.

      • Because since some things as given to you as in a gift of some sort seems maybe Jupiterian and the part about learning from it the first time and this time putting it to use also seems Jupiterian because that is a benevolent way to look at it. To see the situation that way, in my view, can only be Jupiterian. And also Saturnine… Jupiter/Saturn. I haven’t ever had an experience where I looked at a recurring lesson in this light. But I have had recurring experiences, maybe not as profound.

        • I don’t really know there is a lesson in this. Well, maybe to better understand the grace and order and power of God. Because I was holding that one hand, nearly forty years ago.

          And then I look down and see these same cards in my hand.
          Delivered in person, of all things.

          And I’m thinking, you’ve got to be kidding me. But I realized it was shock that I felt, more than pain. Sometimes it’s a very personal show or display. This was like that, just so unexpected, it left me babbling for more than an hour.

          Does anyone remember when someone on this blog bought me that book of poems? If was a book in the public domain, someone had decided should be published. It arrived and it had astrology on the cover, though the poems had nothing to do with the subject.

          As soon as I saw that, I knew something was up and it was.

          Back to that hour of babbling, I was in a discussion with a group of people, thirty minutes later. I was trying to contribute, but I was so distracted. Someone called me out.

          “Elsa, you were starting to say something, and then you just shut up.”

          “Oh. Yes, well I’m sorry. I was distracted,” I explained. I then claimed to be distracted by something else, which was distracting but certainly not primary. It made more sense than trying to explain to anyone, never mind a group of people, what had just happened.

          The man watched all this too. But he knows my character, or at least he knows enough to know there is a lot more character than a person might imagine the first time we meet. So while he knew I was struggling, he also knew I was nowhere near my capacity for trouble or turmoil. I’m also someone who WILL call for help if I need it.

          Anyway, I don’t think it’s a lesson. After all this discussion, I am pretty sure it was a gift but this gift is a terrible burden as well. But the burden was lifted by the gift, placed in my hand.

          This also recalls the Little Match Girl stuff (search the blog). I am forever lighting matches and seeing things, no matter how pathetic my circumstances might seem. But other people can’t see these things and I don’t know what to do about that. I’m not going to fight about it, that’s for sure.

          • I haven’t read the little match girl story yet, but I did read this from your blog: https://www.elsaelsa.com/astrology/the-soldier-the-little-match-girl-and-p/

            I agree with your husband that you are unfathomable in ways. I would agree about your destiny, otherwise you would not be able to turn this blog into such an immense trove of knowledge and insights, many of them seemingly inspired from on high…from a place that is not commonly seen or witnessed in the normal day-to-day life of the average person. As an 8th house person…this is why I stick around. Not saying this to flatter you, but I think you know.

  6. This happens to me constantly, especially lately… People and their actions are reminding me of past events and things and other people… It makes me cry, but in a releasing kind of way… There is so much I need to let go… I hope this fits the subject, I couldn`t think of other way to say it.

  7. That’s really weird. I won’t even hazard a guess because who knows, I could be right.
    Anyway: maybe a call to action.

  8. By the way, they capture this type thing at the end of the movie, Cinema Paradiso. Everything crashes together and comes up to leave you speechless, to say the least.

  9. Yes, painful words from my childhood were repeated to me by my husband. Needless to say, it’s not the same outcome.

  10. Wow. I am really really feeling like a very interesting solidarity with the Plutonian 8th house and I actually just had a conversation about the way I have been in a recurring visceral reaction of themes, or that I have been reprising this role I have played in a little known film from 35 years ago…And I am not sure why…I am not going to be able to get the reaction people have to a child in the same way in my 40s. And I don’t know if I am still as ineffective and oblivious or pretending to be unsurprised by the fact that nobody else wants to get the fuck outta the way from this freakish scene…or everyone else thinks that they have to attack and shun someone else who has taken the road they are uneasy about….And I am not even sure if I can explain it but I am not sure why I’m there-as a messenger? An outsider? Sin eater? It’s sort of my own experiences with experience…points that shit right in my direction (she’s had experience with some fucked up shit!) And THIS is going to get used to make for MORE? I was 13 and the ex-mayor’s retarded son worked with my mom and was mailing me fat lady lingerie and vhs porn (Taken Bi Surprise) and signing it Love, Batman…..And … I forgot that until now…And that’s the vanilla side of the Scorpio tail! Uranus and Venus and Pluto all hang in my 8th house and mercury is barely a whisper of an almost degree in my 9th. Sun 10, Gemini moon 5. Aquarius ascendant. I moved to New York city as a teenager from Cleveland sight unseen (like a kid who has been raised in the circus running away to go to military school) and I was just never bothered by any “weirdo” because the pimps and the alien listeners and the screamers were probably reading the other Shit Feeder tracks from my recent past in Ohio and wanted to get a bit more of a responsive audience for the effort.

    I forgot to give a fuck. I make the Pluto come up… I have been a good stand in my whole life. I am Private Parts, 2 star Genital. *salutes* I love you, Elsa. And I don’t think it’s going to get taken the wrong way or that I am moving in on the soldier’s Lady. ??? But my own mother says that Scorpio people generally are the reason why we’re born naked and upside down. Peer pressure to be perverse and freaky. And I am the one who has issues?

  11. I don’t know what you’re talking about. There is no one to track. The facts are the facts and they’re out there.

    The only person who knows more (of anything important) is me. I’m not talkin’, until and unless.

    I don’t NEED to talk at this stage of my life. I was able to completely contain things like this when I was a child. Why would it be difficult for me today? It’s not.

    I have one million and one ways to set things aside…especially with transits to my 12th house!!

  12. Hi Elsa, I think it happens because the 8th house rules the DNA and genetic instructions for our development and functioning. So, the cards will come out again, but now it’s an enhanced quality because you RECOGNIZE them, and this awareness accounts for our development. I’ve had these experiences too, Sun (conjunct Pluto) ruler of my 8th house.

  13. Elsa, I also have several 8th house planets. And yes, I’ve held the same “hand” twice, about 40 years apart. Now I’m wondering what could possibly account for such a cycle….

  14. “It may be that you DID learn the first time and this is why it’s happening again. So that your experience can be put to use.”

    I like this!

    • It seems to offer proof of grand (divine) design. It’s not a bunch of random stuff out there. If you pay attention, you can see you’re being guided and/or tipped off. Not always, but sort of yeah. Always. But now and then it comes to you in a whack-a-mole sort of way. 🙂

      That was me. A mole that just got whacked! If a person could have stars spinning ’round their head in real life, they’d have been there. 🙂

      • Sorry you got whacked, Pluto can be vicious! Those 12th house transits are like being stuck in repetitive cocoon/chrysalis that mentally tortures you.

  15. Actually on Saturday morning at 4:30am my radiator in my bedroom exploded, steam and boiling water went everywhere. Luckily I woke up to the explosion and was able to get the fire department out ASAP, but still have little luck with getting the maintenance department or management company out here, you would think they would want to fix the issue because that kind of thing is dangerous, so basically I’m going back and forth from my moms sleeping there and back to my apartment because I’m afraid of the radiator exploding again since no one has really fixed the issue regardless of my complaints. Anyway in August of 2015 I was living in a town house with roommates and had a bedroom in a finished basement, at around 4:30 am I woke up to our alarm and my roommate coming downstairs screaming. A pipe had burst in our laundry room and had flooded the basement, we called the fire department and they shut off the water, but our landlord was barely any help at all. Two of the three roommates I lived with were actually down here a few days after the explosion in my bedroom. I know a few months after the townhouse thing happened we all relocated, I moved back to my hometown. My next solar return has Uranus crossing over my 4th house cusp in to the 4th and my current lunar return has Uranus crossing over my 4th house cusp in to the 4th. Pluto has also crossed over my DC for the first time and is about minutes away from making a perfect conjunction to my Saturn. So back to life repeating itself…this is my best example and I don’t know what the lesson would be. I’ve been trying to analyze this for the past several days.

  16. My memory has gotten a autopsy too. Like a gift really but who knows why? I’m hoping one of my two re lives has a fruitful outcome. Good luck Elsa. Much love.

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