“You’re right about this guy’s pathology, but so what? Just because you correctly identify a pattern in someone’s behavior, this does not mean they are going to change it to meet a standard that you set.
Your boyfriend is far more likely to do exactly what he always does. It’s like saying, hey! You have blonde hair! Well so I do, they say!
Even if they’re surprised at what you’ve plucked out and shown to them, they’re still very likely to just go off and live with their blonde hair as it is. A person is not going to just start making adjustments to fall into line with what you think is proper. Why would they? It’s hard to be something you’re not or to change your way of being. Very few are going to do that, there’s no motivation to make that kind of effort…”
Do you really, really understand that you’re not running the other person’s life?