Women, Aging And Attractiveness

blank“There is a point every woman comes to eventually,” I told a friend. “It’s when you look in the mirror and you know you’re not going to be able to rely on whatever it is you’ve been relying on. You’ve got your game down and let’s say your looks have something to do with it because they probably do. But then you look in the mirror and your breasts droop, something droops. It’s right in that moment you have to decide what you’re going to do to. It’s a point of reckoning, usually early 30’s…”

My friend was familiar with this.

“You realize you’d better develop in other areas, or you don’t. Some start chasing youth at this point. They start up with the surgeries and other age-defying things they sell to women in this crisis. I personally decided to become more than I had ever been before so I’d never have to worry about aging. I knew I could be old and still be desirable by making sure I had character and a myriad of other things to offer. I made an effort and it’s worked out okay.”

Have you had your day in the mirror yet? How did you react?

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Women, Aging And Attractiveness — 119 Comments

  1. Well, I was pretty damn mad when I started getting gray hair. 🙂 But in general, my looks didn’t get squat for me most of my life. I get more positive attention on my appearance now than I ever did in my thirties. I don’t mind it, but I don’t take it too seriously, either. I’m only really interested in the man who has loved me FOR me, throughout.

  2. With Saturn in the first house with my Mercury, I think about this every day! Part of me is philosophical about it “what will be will be and if they are not attracted to me…there will be someone who is somewhere!”. But other days, I feel more unattractive than I ever have been due to age and I have tried to stop the clock with sunscreen, good nutrition and excercise up until a year ago. Then I gave up. But with Uranus in Aries in my 5th..I am feeling a little more determined and vigorous to change my lethargy and self-punishment into something positive. And it’s not really for the “other” who ever they may be…this time it’s for me!

  3. I have. A part of me is chasing what can help me to look ‘okay’ as long as possible, but the other part of me is disgusted with that part. I’ve always had a certain amount of character, I just didn’t have so much confidence, and it bothered me that as my confidence was finally building in all ways, age was threatening to chip away at the confidence in myself physically. It bothered me that I hadn’t appreciated myself more, both inside and out. I looked great, and couldn’t believe that I’d worried so much about being 117lbs at the age of seventeen (not that I really dieted), when I felt better about myself over 130lbs and over thirty.

    I’d never used my looks to get anything, because I didn’t see my own attractiveness.

  4. I am really satisfied with my body at this point. I’m more comfortable in my skin now that I was as a teenager. I have looked in the mirror at times and felt gross when I was younger. Now, I’m like..hey..I’ve weathered alright 🙂
    course..that answer could change in a few years..lol

  5. I lost 50 or 60 lbs right around my Saturn return time – so I was 29, maybe? My full, beautiful, perky boobs got less full, normal size, and they sagged. Not horribly, but they definitely sagged noticeably to me. (Yes, I have Venus in Cancer, why do you ask?)

    Shockingly, the world did not end! *grin*

    I decided the extra weight wasn’t worth the amazing tits, and that having average tits was pretty OK by me.

    That being said – I’ve never relied on my looks. I’m the smart one, not the pretty one 😛

    Oh – a couple years before this? I found out I had an autoimmune thyroid disease, and it sent my brain into a fog for a few months. So I had to get around with out my not-so-secret weapon for a while, too.

    *chuckle*

  6. Beauty is fleeting, I’ve always known it. I’m ok with it.

    I’ve always thought women should look good for their age, not a younger age than they are.

    Everyone ages, so “hotness” really becomes less of a thing, for men and women. A friend of mine tried online dating at 55, and met a man in his mid 60’s. At then end, he suavely asked her if she was physically attracted to him. She told me she shrugged her shoulders, looked at his bald head, wrinkled face and older body and said “I’m generally more attracted to someone’s personality at this point in my life” and added to me “Who does he think he is? George Clooney I could be attracted to. He looks like a plucked chicken- at this point it has to be something else.’
    She’s a Sadge, and we had a good chuckle.

  7. With Leo asc. and Virgo Saturn in the 1st, my day in the mirror is every day. When I was young, I made peace with the fact that I am “average” looking. At the same time, I do worry about my attractiveness. I’ve watched every crease grow in my face. I’ve wondered about the tug-o-war of good genes (my mom looks pretty good for the life she’s lived and the health she’s in) vs. bad (for skin) medications.

    Some of the problem is I don’t feel like I’m doing the best I can for my looks. If I felt like I was, and it wasn’t making any spectacular differences, I could make peace with it. But I think I’m coming to a point where I need to assign a value to this, and act accordingly.

  8. OMG, Yes! I’ve always looked older than my age – my hands looked old when I was a teenager. I like to tell myself it’s because I have lived many lives before. My brother, who is two years older, started turning salt and pepper when he was 30. He’s gorgeous now and people compare him to George Clooney – How come aging looks so much better on men?!

    I noticed the other day when I was leaning sideways in the mirror that my skin sagged a lot (no joke) underneath my eyes. I’m actually having surgery on my eyelids on this coming Monday – when I’m extremely tired or stressed, they hang on my eyelashes. I look like I should be in my 50’s but I’m only 41. What pushes that point is that my bf was born on the same day as me and he has NO wrinkles – and he has been really rough on his body. I’ve always believed that I wasn’t all that vain… I’m re-thinking that now (Leo Sun).

    Good thing is, I have ALWAYS worked on improving myself mentally and otherwise. I’ve always known that my looks would fade and have never depended on them to find a mate. I can paint a portrait, swing a hammer and hold my own in a thoughtful debate – age can’t take that from me (except for maybe swinging a hammer…)

  9. I had thought when I was about 19. Then again at 28. I think the saturn returns really notch this up until you have to get over the fact that the beauty contest was years ago so there’s no point in that type of competition.

    Although I have to say that it’s the women who seem more judgmental than the men. On job interviews I know I’ve lost out because I wasn’t pretty enough or charming or didn’t look enough like them. with men it’s always been different. Am I smart? Can I do the job? Am I honest and will I do what I say I’m going to do?

  10. I experienced that moment of reckoning about the same time Saturn entered Libra 18 months or so ago. I honestly think I’m more attractive and sexier in my mid-40s than I ever was in my 30s. I still receive compliments on my looks/style from strangers but my favourite compliment is when my husband laughs himself sick over something I’ve said.

  11. My mirror moment came in my late teens, realizing that yes, other people, especially men, actually liked my looks. That was a shocker really, since in my family, women certainly were encouraged to count on other assets. Nothing to do with the feminism, just the rural culture, where one had to be very capable to survive, man or woman, and the brand of Pietist revival traditionally strong in the area. It took me years to learn to live with the the attention, I went years if not neglecting my looks, going to a less obviously attractive direction (wearing shorter hair, jeans and trainers rather than long hair, skirt and heels I liked in my late teens…).

  12. I’m 35 and have just come to this realization over the past year. I always knew the day would come, now I know it’s here. I became a mother at the same time, which has helped tremendously. My definition of being a woman now is very different, with being beautiful and sexy (in a lusty kind of way) lower on the list and with being nurturing, confident, protective, capable, and interesting higher on the list of priorities. Don’t get me wrong, I still love men and being desirable, but my definition of what that means has evolved.

  13. Being 29 I have realised, that I can’t be bothered any more about “who is the fairest in the land”. Once I gave that up, I have never felt more attractive and actually feeling happier about myself more than ever.

  14. I’m staring 48 down… One month from now, it will happen and I have to say that I don’t really care that I’m getting older… I’m more comfortable with myself now than I’ve ever been…

    I’m fond of telling younger women who have an attitude: What I lack in skin tone, I more than make up for in experience…

  15. I’ll be turning 40 this year and people tell me i look like a teenager. This just ISN’T a compliment to me. I have the body and the face of a teen….maybe a few smokers wrinkles under the eyes. I’d LOVE to look more womanly.

  16. My genes seem to favor me now at 37, more than at 17 or 27. I was ***VERY*** awkward and rejected in middle school, and that self concept lasted through my teen years, while I was pretty, and weighed less than I do now, my baby fat gave me a rounder face. I think my age actually looks better on me now. In my 20’s my weight and self-attention varied, and because of my past, I often camoflauged with baggy clothes or no makeup because men’s attention made me kind of scared and uncomfortable. Again, I think I am better off now.
    Big caveat, when my engagement broke off at 35, I had a real crisis for a couple of months, and definitely was in a panic zone about my age/ looks. Unfounded worries. 🙂

  17. Yup. Leo Ascendant conjunct Moon, and Venus/Pluto in 1st house in Virgo. Now 52 years old. I’ve enjoyed not getting too much attention when out and about, and being able to just observe for the most part. But that looking in the mirror part isn’t easy. Takes a long time to get ready to go anywhere! But there are some long-standing self-esteem issues that will need work. I keep looking for role models of women who look(ed) their age but still fabulous – Audrey Hepburn comes to mind. I do believe it comes from inside, and from feeling healthy and fit.

  18. I made my peace with my appearance when I was 19, the age my bulimia ended. Sure I don’t like my lady beard (which started growing when I was twenty-frigging-one), but I have watched my narcissistic mother drive herself round a bend over her looks and that is a giant snore! She’s really awesome for vitamin info and stuff like that.

    I have good genes, both physical and mental. I’m going to be grateful for both.

    And personally I think it’s worth it just to be alive:)

    • that is good to be grateful. it’s weird but I think when you’re young that’s when the worst self esteem issues are evident. Eating disorders especially. I was reading an article on the tragedy of Karen Carpenter, and her disorder was because she needed love. I think this is the crux of eating disorders and self esteem. Aging doesn’t really bother me, it is just more annoying because i’m slower.

  19. The vitamin thing is funny. My sister and I were joking about it this weekend, how she does so much research into vitamins and supplements and dietary stuff that keeps you healthy. That really isn’t a bad thing. She gets freaked out if we aren’t taking vitamins, so we just smile and say thanks as she hands them over to us. Because vitamins are freaking expensive!

    Seriously though–I have thought about this a lot, how I want to have peace with my body and appearance. I’m 33 and I have some older women friends (in their 40s) and they say–oh you just wait–but I am determined to like myself. I could go on and on (and on) about this so I will button it!

  20. I’ve been spent years developing myself and substance oozes out of every pore of my body :-). Still doesn’t get me a relationship. Reality (Saturn) about relationships (Libra) at my age (Saturn) in life – men aren’t attracted to 10 lbs of menopausal belly fat and laugh lines no matter how happy I am with myself or how beautiful I am on the inside. Its not the end of the world cause at least I’m having a heck of good time in life! But a reality check (Saturn) on what I can expect.

  21. when i was younger i was very envious of older women….i remember seeing a woman on a train once that must have been 50+, she looked so classy and intelligent….and without her wrinkles, she just wouldn’t have had that aura

    it’s wisdom, experience, and developed interests blended with aged beauty that made me once envy older women….ditto for men on this topic…i prefer a mature face and intelligence born of years …maybe my saturn venus

  22. l’ve seen so many beautiful older women, l just hope to age like that. For me it’s all in the way you cary yourself and the beauty comes from within! What you radiate…

  23. I never had the beauty part to begin with so I come at this from a different angle. I do know women who have been looks focused all their lives and it’s extremely painful for them, extremely. Still even for me it’s a shock – grey hair and age spots for example. More the aging that’s the shock. Being/feeling unattractive is not a shock. I’ve always been “known” for other things LOL

  24. Thinking abt this further – I also realize my role model(s) for attractiveness is more Iggy Pop than any woman I can think of. Something more androgynous maybe- not flirty and femmy but darker.

  25. Pretty is as pretty does. That’s something my mom always stressed. It doesn’t matter how much time and effort you put into making yourself look good on the outside, if you’re rotten to the core.

    I was always mistaken for at least a decade younger than my actual age in my 20’s and 30’s… So, my moment in the mirror was realizing that finally my looks caught up with me! I actually like it. I’m taken more ‘seriously’ by people instead of being dismissed with a pat on the head.

    Next week I turn 49. I love my age and will be celebrating! 😉

  26. Nope. This will never happen to me. I know that sounds unbelievable…. but… My Mother is reaching 50 and my Dad reaching 60 and they both are youthful. As for me, I’ll be 24 and the other day I was let onto the train because “under 14s” are free.

    However, I have curbed my drinking, I’ve never been a smoker, but I am curbing the drinking – because I know that this is NOT good for me – and will contribute to unwanted age effects!

  27. Great post 🙂

    I’ve made a conscious choice to stop dieting and stop the pursuit of weight loss. I’ve stayed at the same body shape/weight for about 5 years now, and I figured this is what my body is comfortable in. I look fine… It’s just that I have always had a problem with my wide waist (I’ve had it since I was 16). I make an effort to console myself that no woman is better or worse than me… I just am and they are just being!

    I maintain a healthy diet, moderate exercise, and I just enjoy/live life to the fullest. I also find dressing for my body type, colouring and personality boosts the self-esteem up significantly. I figured that if I cannot make waves in my life, at the very least I have to change the way I feel about me. Make ME feel good – because in the end, you will be living with yourself and you damn well better be comfortable with YOU… aging or not.

    … oh and I am at that “early 30’s” stage Satori referred to. If you look within and listen to the people you care about and love, you will believe that you truly are beautiful 🙂

  28. sometimes people get better looking as they get older… I do think it’s worth the effort to stay in shape, eat well and you can look very good if you want to at any age. a lot of times the way people respond to us reflects the way we feel about ourselves. there are much better ways to de-age than plastic surgery, all kinds of natural ways to rejuvenate if you search a little bit.

    • I think men always age better than women. I think I was more about my looks and staying stick-skinny when I was really young, I would starve myself then gorge after a couple of days. I wasn’t bulimic –never threw up or never was aneroxic but that’s how I dieted, didn’t eat but drink all day and 2 days later I would get dizzy and eat like a pig or a horse. I thought that if I looked skinny and pretty people would just like me. what a terrible self esteem. smh lol now that i’m older I don’t care as much except that I can eat what I want and get chubby but still remain conscience not to overeat. lol I feel happier. I can go out and eat that double cheeseburger and not feel bad. or a big juicy steak. as for surgery I only thought of it when I was in my twenties, to get bigger boobs. now I just eat and I already have that 😀 teehee. I am not dissatisfied with my face.

  29. Virginia I agree, and thinking more on your comment–when you tend to your body and treat it with love, it shows on the outside. Self-care is important for self-esteem. I say this as a 1st House Moon–I had to learn to love my body and I try really hard not to abuse it. Moderation and balance is the body’s friend.

  30. Actually, I think it’s the mirror. Just came back from the ladies room at my company – sheesh, could they make the lighting any worse?! Every day I dress up for work and the first trip to the ladies room makes me think, “What the hell-?” It ain’t the aging, it’s the lighting. 😉

  31. What a shame that people place so much emphasis on physical attractiveness when dating older people. I gave up looks a long time ago for personality and have been blessed beyond expectation. If I tried chasing pretty people I would be rejected every time. Dating people who are more gifted intellectually and spiritually leads to more fulfilling romances and they appreciate my looks all the more. I am always shocked how shallow people can be about something you often have no way of controlling physically in spite of a very wonderful psychological makeup!

  32. I never relied solely on my looks so I feel really good about holding my own especially as I age. At the same time, I have Venus and Sun in Libra in the 12th so I am pretty clueless regarding my attractiveness. That said, I am vain and refuse to let myself go physically or mentally–thank you Libra sun.

  33. I have Libra rising! 🙂 I believe the most important thing is aging gracefully. The secret is to love yourself. I am 62. Everyone thinks I am in my 40’s. At my nephew’s wedding last summer, I was asked if I was his younger sister!!!!! He is 24. I have always treated myself like a work of art. Since my 30’s I have practiced daily yoga, daily vitamins and bubble baths. My attitude is gratitude. It works. I smile, smile, smile. Yes, there have been physical changes. I was a Playboy bunny at 24. I am not a hot girl anymore. I am growing and glowing. It’s all a matter of attitude.

  34. I’m been focused on eating and grounding for the past 18 months and have put on weight that everyone around me loves. I like it too because I was not interested in being skinny when i’m older. I find it ironic when new people in my life still think i’m skinny when i think i’m average now.
    But I have noticed the grey and am ok with it.. and am using more makeup regularly and a cleanser. I’m also wearing dresses.
    But I see all of this as a maturation thing as I too ignored my looks and preferred to hide.. now it’s part of the package. Leo on the 10th. I have to be shiny in life.

    What i’ve noticed the most is looking haggard when I think I look fine. THAT catches me offguard.

    I think humour is most attractive so I strive to keep that alive. 🙂

  35. I’m okay. I’m just now starting to look my age, for most of my life I looked younger.

    When you hit your mid forties you sort of become invisible. I thought this would be a relief but at first it stung, then I realized how freeing it was. No one was watching me…

  36. I am 51, and a few months ago a lady at work was shocked to hear how old I was — several people thought I was in my late thirties. There are a few wrinkles on my face now, and menopause has brought a redistribution of body fat which results in my never being naked in front of a full-length mirror. I’ve never been known for looks, but with Venus in Libra sextile ascendant do like to get dolled up… there’s no occasions for that lately, but progressed moon in Taurus has meant a renewed interest in looking as good as possible.

    I’m still getting used to the changes in my face and body, and considering how to make the most of the outer me.

  37. Once a woman’s total value, worth and “currency” in society stops being linked to her youthful appearance, discussions like these will less important. I am guessing that men don’t have discussions like these because their “value” in society is linked to the size of their wallet.

  38. My ruling sign (Venus) squares Saturn and exactly trines Pluto. While I care about beauty and fashion, I focused on accomplishments and did not worry about any loss of attractiveness until my 60th birthday a year and a half ago. I noticed that my sense of attractiveness is more related to stress than to actual aging. There is just so much more work now with career and family than there was in my 20s. However, when I’m relaxed, the whole world seems to be smiling back! Beauty really is a glow, not an age!

  39. Nice article, I was my happiest after the first Saturn return, about 29-30. Throughout those 80s, I enjoyed some deep, meaningful relations, and established a spiritual path. However, when 40 came,ee my daughter passed, and so did bf of 15 years, and although I struggled, I began going downhill. I felt old for my age, and as mourning wasn’t interested in men for a long time. When I did get interested again, in mid-50s, seemed I couldn’t meet any I felt really suitable to stick with. Then depression set in, and health problems, now at 64 I’m struggling surviving Lung Cancer, and my dream now, is even though I’m not rich, I’d like to retire overseas, and start anew.

  40. I did have that crisis at my first Saturn return. I realized the importance of good skincare and have been diligent ever since. I have had other crises too. Especially around 34-35. But I’m letting go of idealizing youth and wearing my age proudly. I profoundly appreciate the wisdom and sense of humor aging has brought me and that lends an attractiveness I didn’t have before when I was young and insecure. I have college-aged daughters now and many people don’t believe it. They think we’re siblings. My girls are tired of hearing it! ??

    I hope to age gracefully like Helen Mirren but I’ll be happy to make it to my Uranus return to see my many awesome great-grandchildren and all their quirks and accomplishments. Growing old is a gift. ?

  41. I’m 48 now and it recently occured to me that facially things are only going to get worse, so I’m going for the mature, maternal carer style. It’s paying off and is certainly in need in our town. So many people admire and need a mature woman in their circle for the need of the group. We can bring experience, calm and reliability. We still have to fight I can see and we don’t have youthful looks to rely on, but glamourous we can be, fighting with grace and style. (yes, stellium in libra and aries) I’ve lost weight since spending time in hospital with my son’s leukhemia which meant I’ve had to re-equip my wardrobe. I bought some smart stuff, both for casual and special occasions. There’s a gap in the social scene for mature women – supporting youth, and many others in need. I’m working on filling that gap in in and including the whole family. There’s cakes to bake, meetings to attend, chucrch and youth to support in popular events and whilst I may be more mature now, our smiles, love and care are constantly needed. I currently have pluto bang-on my natal merc so I think this is on of those deep transformation times and I’m not backing away.

  42. Trust in who you are not how you imagine others to perceive you bank in, you’ve got more as you grow older to bring to the game, if you feel like playing, the magic comes from what you see at the edge of those eye lashes, s, easy peasy

  43. I’ve never relied on my looks. I’ve been chubby since I was six years old. (Personally I think I was cute, but all everybody saw was the fat).
    I have never been afraid of aging beauty-wise (I’m afraid of time passing and not having done anything fulfilling). In fact, I’ve always had a feeling that my old age is going to be the best period of my life. Once the first signs of aging start to appear I will embrace them. It’ll be time to be old. There’s a time to be young and a time to be old. Mixing them up will only result in unhappiness.

    I agree with the person who said that it’s useless to worry about “who is the fairest of the land”. Even if for a moment you are the most beautiful, somebody else will always come and take your place. It’s the most ancient fable. Be content with being in love with someone who sees you as the most beautiful and who you see as the most beautiful.

    • In fact, I kind of see my youth as an obstacle to exploit all my other abilities. Because of my age and my sex, I am expected to look and behave a certain way in order to please men, and even if I show my other talents no one cares. All they see is a woman who doesn’t know how to diet, do her make up or dress properly. Once no one cares about my looks due to my age, I’ll express myself more freely.

    • In love with somebody who sees you as the most beautiful and who sees you as the most beautiful? Nice work if you can get it, unfortunately not everyone finds it.

  44. There’s nothing shallow about plastic surgery if it helps you get your most basic primal needs met. As a woman it doesn’t matter how much you develop your character if you also have a turbocharged libido that only seems to strengthen with age and ache for affection but can’t get it easily due to changes in your body and face. The best way for an unattached woman to get those needs met is still to look as good as possible for as long as possible and men I’ve asked have confirmed this.

    • Im a fan of cosmetic surgery. I dont judge. Im talking about crepey eyes and a bit of a saggy jowl. Not the full monty. All the British actresses Ive seen at a certain age have tight jawlines and bangs. Thats not a coincidence
      And you know what? They look natural and great. Wrinkles around the eyes and all.

  45. With A Libra Mercury in my fist house I see my face and body as a reflection of myself. Im considered still pretty at 54.
    But trust me girls, the real aging happens after 57. Thats when your lifestyle and lack of estrogen catches up to you. I just want to bless everyone with good genes but recommend y’all take up a hobby. Most(not all) guys stop seeing you after that point.

    • i remember my mother told me (she’s Libra sun/Taurus rising) so very venusian) that when she hit 40, she was depressed to see herself look wrinkled more than usual. That was terribly depressing for her. Now she’s past that 57, where estrogen is no longer available. And she’s just fine with it now. I think middle age is when you have to deal with it, and just move on. But still look great as much as you can. she still buys expensive cosmetics. i used to pass by a mirror and think hey good looking xDD lol now i just …sigh and think well…… my husband says i’m still beautiful so thats good enough for me 😀

  46. I wasn’t raised to depend on my beauty. Didn’t even know I was beautiful so I just naturally developed other qualities. I’m sure when I was younger it helped me a bit but I sure didn’t make my way in life from it. My drive and my willingness to hustle is why I’ve survived.

  47. I guess I just don’t relate to the original blog post in a lot of ways. I don’t think all women rely on their attractiveness when young or identify solely with their looks. There’s plenty of young beautiful, hardworking college students to prove this. Maybe in the fifties when landing a husband was important, looks held more power in our social structure but it’s a different world now for young women. Different themes. Basically what I’m saying is I think what you’re talking about Elsa, is a social phenomenon and not a biological one and therefor doesn’t happen in every generation.

  48. I never really had my day in the mirror. I grew up in a household of multiple generations and knew what the progression was to be. That said I decided that I was going to be as interesting a person as possible and I was going to fight the age monster but not get crazy about it.

  49. When I was in my 30s and thought I was good-lookin’ and in my prime (working out regularly, makeup, dressing well), a guy I was dating caressed my cheek and said, “You must have been pretty when you were 16.” He was of a different nationality and not even intent on the insult, just expressing what he really felt about an “older” woman.

    I don’t look in the much now that I really am older and focus on strength and well-being. And empowerment. I feel so much freer now.

  50. When my other half chose a person 10 years younger than me, I realised: 10 YEARS!

    I looked in the mirror and said, develop my life, eat better and exercise. I’m mid 30s. I don’t feel bad, but I’m getting older and need to be REAL. And real me!

  51. Hey, I truly truly like getting older.

    I think I’m more attractive now, in my 30’s, than I was in my teens and 20s.

    I’ve gained 20 extra pounds, but it looks pretty good on me, i think. Many people I know have also said I look better and happier – it must be because I *feel* happier. I have Venus/Saturn.

    I have already come to terms with laugh lines- they are not ugly. Ugly is poor hygene, poor grooming and trying too hard, (ie, tanning beds…glitter… gag). (And sometimes poor genetics unfortunately) wrinkles also look worse on a skinny person. Guess thats why why they say after a certain age you have to choose between your face and your ass. Not to mention, we loose muscle as we age, and being skinny past 40 looks sickly because we dont have the same muscle shape we once had.

  52. I hoped to be someone who would look 10-15 years younger in her 40s, but the reality is I look my age. And I HATE it.

  53. I relied on my looks till about over 35. From then it was reject by extended family so I can’t take time for myself. Given raising a family is a different sort of opportunity in today’s fast life, a family w members who stay to them self so I don’t have an chance to speak up makes me think even if I want to love however I am and what I feel, why do I need another’s approval, 5 other people’s that too. bs!

  54. This article and it’s comments surprise me with how FEW women care for their looks.
    .
    The other recently warmed up article with many comments has already surprised me with how long and how many experiences some people need to understand something, which should be obvious: if you offer yourself as an object, then you’ll get treated like an object.
    .
    But the appearance is something, which has to concern every women and also men, who aren’t rich. (Or what did you think by what Jennifer Lopez [only for example, there are others too] chooses her toy boys?) Beauty has the biological function of showing health. So if you don’t look good, then you’re also not healthy. If people would care more, then there would be a market for healthy products not only for very wealthy people. We all would not only look better, but feel better, live longer, and in addition I could see less disgusting things in the streets. Although I have the impression that countryside people are in general healthier and consequently look better.

  55. Not yet. I turned 30 this year but still look like I’m 19-20 years old! People get chocked when they learn my true age, I even had a few choke on their food a few times haha.
    Virgo rising and a stellium in gemini with also chiron in gemini gives me a youthful appearence. I have a slender hourglass body with that so. Lets see how long this will last though.

    Its a genetic thing of course, my mother always looked 10 years younger then her age until now, when she has hit her mid fifties.

    • And I hae to add that I have never drinken alcohol in my life. Never smoked. And I train almost everyday and take care of my body. And also I don’t have kids. I think kids can make one ae faster, the physical ad psychological sress and all.

      I have a frind who is 42 years old with 3 kids, but she still looks like 18 tops! It’s crazy! Some even misstake her for 15 year old (petite body).
      I don’t know her asc but she has a gemini moon, but a round cancer rising looking face, so dunno.

    • And not shown in her natal chart? All genetic things are shown in the natal chart! That’s actually why I say that astrology has the last say.

  56. In spite of all the signs telling us that the pass of time and aging are inevitable, most women, while they’re still young, think they’ll be an exception, somehow.

      • I know. I think ive aged ok.
        When we look in the mirror most if not all of us look into our eyes. We see the soul that is still young
        Its when we see a picture of ourselves we see what others see. Its can be a wake up call.

        • So well said! My 71 yr old best friend and I were just saying that exact thing! I’m 59 but feel I’ve aged more in the last year due to extreme stress and health crisis. I see the 50 lb weight gain but until I see a photo I don’t see the age. In the mirror I’m still young but extra lrg now. Weird how that is. But looking into our eyes makes so much sense. Thank you

    • Do they also think to be an exception of being mortal or is this rather a male quirk?
      .
      The less illusions, the better you could be prepared. When I read about illusions, then I must immediately think at Neptune.

  57. As a guy, I always felt like the plain or “unattractive” girls had a leg-up on maturity because they couldn’t rely on being pretty. I dated kind of geeky girls because they were interesting.

  58. I never relied on my looks because where I grew up, I was the odd one – the French Italian dark auburn/amber wild pony in a world of classic sedate lovely Northern European/Scandinavian blondes. It didn’t bother me, I was into my studies and working to help my family and saving for school. I had the smart geeky boyfriends who were like the defense not the scorer, lol, and it was fine. I didn’t find out I could attract lots of men esp the well positioned snotty kind til I moved to NYC and had style of my own, by then I didn’t care, I was busy, knew who I was and disliked men who were all about my looks only. Stuck w the smart true down to earth geeks! ….. I have a giant Virgo stellium from Sun to kibble, and even today I look young and stay in shape so people in their 20s and 30s think I am in the early 30s and are shocked or even angry when I say errrrr, nope! ….I can tell I am aging, greys popping up and those laugh lines, I had two bouts of serious illness, and family trauma, but I still feel like hey, I am strong and relatively healthy and my mind works, so as I age, whatever.

    I have every intention of being the laughing wise fearless Auntie Mame which I see as more valuable than being desperate mutton dressed as lamb. If I can be as cool as Helen Mirren, whose sparkle, wit, and strong life energy shines at every age from her 20s thru today. Dame Judi Dench would be fine too! After all I have seen in life living or working around the world, being alive, with your wits, some energy and happy sass, goals and wherewithal and reasonable health is good enough. Eat right, get some exercise, wear clothes and hair that make you smile, read and listen to things that make you happy, you will be fine.

    My grandma at 85 was a little plump, white hair, but laughing, well groomed and witty….giving and very interested in life and people circled her like a planet. Be interested in the world and just the shape of your thighs and you will be beautiful.

    My grandmother was also a clothing designer and told women, There is lingerie for what sags or pooches, there is a joke for what hurts or saddens, there is a sunrise to look forward to, there is a color perfect for your skin today, and there is common sense to tell you that a smile is the best beauty treatment.

  59. Funny this was brought up! I was hit hard by a birthday this year, and it’s clear I’m aging. My skin conditions are worsening, I have uneven skin tone and always look tired (probably because I am!), my hair is greasy and my eyes look droopy.

    And right around my birthday, I decided I was finally going to write the novel I’d been thinking about for literally at least 5 years, and becoming a tidier person, and focusing on controlling my temper. I didn’t really think of the correlation, but it totally makes sense!

  60. I tried to think about myself as part of nature to feel better about aging, the way a tree can become more beautiful over time, how distressed fabrics like sandwashed silk are lovelier and more comfortable and appealing for the duress they’re put through. It doesn’t work. I straight up hate not having my young face any more and I don’t see it changing.

  61. It’s actually not a perspective I want changed, I think it’s just healthier to accept that’s how I feel.

  62. uhm, i was 14. had the strange idea that guys didn’t like flat chested women so just acted as if that wasn’t something worth depending on. has worked out all right… although it helped to eventually realize things were a bit more complicated.

    • Yes, say it loud: it’s a strange idea! Even double funny from a girl of just fourteen years because she should be still growing. The only real effect is that flat chested women show the signs of age less.

  63. You don’t have to age to feel/look old. Just saying. Saturn in 1st house here.
    Vibe, allure and attitude. I think that makes you younger. And laugh, laugh will do to. Curiosity and sincerity in approaching people and life.

  64. One thing I learned early on: “Beauty is fleeting, Charm is eternal”. I was a beautiful woman in my day but never thought about it much. I was just me, so I never relied on my looks, even though my job was very much about appearance. I was lucky I was taught that being interesting was more appealing. To be able to hold up my end in conversation and contribute ideas. Like Elsa’s mom, my mother taught us boring was not an option! Be funny! Be entertaining!

  65. Funny thing. Your breasts get larger after going through menopause. I thought, “well,that’s a nice side benefit”. Thing is, you turn around once or twice and realize you’re morphing into Aunt Bee.

  66. I’m 70.
    Libra moon and rising.
    My vanity ebbs and wanes.
    It is a relief at times to look in the mirror and know that, no matter what, self acceptance and peace is a beautiful feeling.
    “Love and forgive the Self I now see” was advice given to me from one I know to be wise.

  67. I’m 71. With Venus in Leo in the 1st, I’ve always had a flair for the dramatic. You can’t stop the aging process—love yourself and make the best of what you’ve got. Do the healthy things because, as you get older and wiser, good health and vitality are what really matter.

  68. Oh I thought I had one in my early 30s when I got out of the shower looking worse than when I got in, instead of ‘refreshed’. But that ain’t nothing until around 60 when the actual levels of muscle mass or your height goes down! LoL! Thank goodness you have become wise.😉👍😎

    • I guess I’m proof gravity works as advertised! I wouldn’t swap beauty for wisdom.
      “Women are wise, wise women they say, and there’s a little witch in every women today”!

  69. Guess it’s apt to answer this on my birthday. I was at church and there were lots of children today. I smiled a lot looking at them thinking why I feel the same as you still? There wasn’t much difference between us, we all lightly kick the air when sitting in the chair. I have moon in 1st house and feel no different from a kid’s energy. Didn’t care about my fine laugh lines yet.

  70. I thought this would happen, yes, when I was in my 40ties.
    At 30? No, nothing was dropping either.

    But turns out I was wrong. I attracted a 15 year younger lover. Still rocking it at 54 years of age.
    Venus on the Ascendant and lots of Gemini to boot.
    Saturn in Aries is also called the fountain of youth, am I correct?

  71. I’ve been going through over a decade of the “reckoning.” It’s funny because when I was younger, I felt such pressure to do all of the upkeep, so I looked forward to getting older and not feeling that pressure anymore. Welp, now it all takes effort. It’s the effort that bums me out. It used to be so easy, and yes I used to get away with things because of my looks. I still do a little, I’ve got that Aries ASC youthfulness I guess, and I will definitely mourn when it’s all gone for good. I enjoy being attractive. Plus I have the other side to me, and it all made me well liked by the types of people I like too.

    I have plans to get myself back in shape after having a baby at my “advanced” age and well that’s just who I am. I want to look my best and I intend to do so. A friend of mine in her 50s looks good because she takes care of her health. She’s got a full head of grey/white hair but her skin and eyes are bright. Health, stress management, seeking happiness etc. – that’s my goal and I look to her for inspiration!

  72. I never had this, I am 57 now and never felt beautiful, Venus opp moon, and was sad for it, but always felt sexy, a poor replacement I thought. After 17 years of celibacy and 4 years of emotionally abusive boyfriends I am with a guy now that finds me beautiful- I have false teeth from an earlier illness that reduced the bone in my jaw and even with the teeth out he finds me beautiful. He is a big fat guy and older than me (All my previous guys were much younger) and I find him strikingly beautiful, I could gaze at him forever. It took me to see beauty with my heart for me to feel beautiful. It shocks us both how much we feel the beauty of each other and how lucky we are to finally come to this maturity and treasure. We have known each other for 20 years and just weren’t ready I guess. But it took the relaxation that comes with trusting someone for me, and him, to accept that we are acceptable and beautiful……I’m still scared though….neptune transiting sextile and trine that moon Venus opposition. And as to the saggy boob, wrinkly older lady stuff…since we got together my boobs got bigger and smoother, I have no wrinkles and I think I may be looking younger. Loving someone worth loving seems to be youthening me. Funny that this comes when it no longer matters X

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