Women, Aging And Attractiveness

“There is a point every woman comes to eventually,” I told a friend. “It’s when you look in the mirror and you know you’re not going to be able to rely on whatever it is you’ve been relying on. You’ve got your game down and let’s say your looks have something to do with it because they probably do. But then you look in the mirror and your breasts droop, something droops. It’s right in that moment you have to decide what you’re going to do to. It’s a point of reckoning, usually early 30’s…”

My friend was familiar with this.

“You realize you’d better develop in other areas, or you don’t. Some start chasing youth at this point. They start up with the surgeries and other age-defying things they sell to women in this crisis. I personally decided to become more than I had ever been before so I’d never have to worry about aging. I knew I could be old and still be desirable by making sure I had character and a myriad of other things to offer. I made an effort and it’s worked out okay.”

Have you had your day in the mirror yet? How did you react?

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Women, Aging And Attractiveness — 119 Comments

  1. With A Libra Mercury in my fist house I see my face and body as a reflection of myself. Im considered still pretty at 54.
    But trust me girls, the real aging happens after 57. Thats when your lifestyle and lack of estrogen catches up to you. I just want to bless everyone with good genes but recommend y’all take up a hobby. Most(not all) guys stop seeing you after that point.

    • i remember my mother told me (she’s Libra sun/Taurus rising) so very venusian) that when she hit 40, she was depressed to see herself look wrinkled more than usual. That was terribly depressing for her. Now she’s past that 57, where estrogen is no longer available. And she’s just fine with it now. I think middle age is when you have to deal with it, and just move on. But still look great as much as you can. she still buys expensive cosmetics. i used to pass by a mirror and think hey good looking xDD lol now i just …sigh and think well…… my husband says i’m still beautiful so thats good enough for me 😀

  2. I wasn’t raised to depend on my beauty. Didn’t even know I was beautiful so I just naturally developed other qualities. I’m sure when I was younger it helped me a bit but I sure didn’t make my way in life from it. My drive and my willingness to hustle is why I’ve survived.

  3. I guess I just don’t relate to the original blog post in a lot of ways. I don’t think all women rely on their attractiveness when young or identify solely with their looks. There’s plenty of young beautiful, hardworking college students to prove this. Maybe in the fifties when landing a husband was important, looks held more power in our social structure but it’s a different world now for young women. Different themes. Basically what I’m saying is I think what you’re talking about Elsa, is a social phenomenon and not a biological one and therefor doesn’t happen in every generation.

  4. I never really had my day in the mirror. I grew up in a household of multiple generations and knew what the progression was to be. That said I decided that I was going to be as interesting a person as possible and I was going to fight the age monster but not get crazy about it.

  5. When I was in my 30s and thought I was good-lookin’ and in my prime (working out regularly, makeup, dressing well), a guy I was dating caressed my cheek and said, “You must have been pretty when you were 16.” He was of a different nationality and not even intent on the insult, just expressing what he really felt about an “older” woman.

    I don’t look in the much now that I really am older and focus on strength and well-being. And empowerment. I feel so much freer now.

  6. When my other half chose a person 10 years younger than me, I realised: 10 YEARS!

    I looked in the mirror and said, develop my life, eat better and exercise. I’m mid 30s. I don’t feel bad, but I’m getting older and need to be REAL. And real me!

  7. Hey, I truly truly like getting older.

    I think I’m more attractive now, in my 30’s, than I was in my teens and 20s.

    I’ve gained 20 extra pounds, but it looks pretty good on me, i think. Many people I know have also said I look better and happier – it must be because I *feel* happier. I have Venus/Saturn.

    I have already come to terms with laugh lines- they are not ugly. Ugly is poor hygene, poor grooming and trying too hard, (ie, tanning beds…glitter… gag). (And sometimes poor genetics unfortunately) wrinkles also look worse on a skinny person. Guess thats why why they say after a certain age you have to choose between your face and your ass. Not to mention, we loose muscle as we age, and being skinny past 40 looks sickly because we dont have the same muscle shape we once had.

  8. I hoped to be someone who would look 10-15 years younger in her 40s, but the reality is I look my age. And I HATE it.

  9. I relied on my looks till about over 35. From then it was reject by extended family so I can’t take time for myself. Given raising a family is a different sort of opportunity in today’s fast life, a family w members who stay to them self so I don’t have an chance to speak up makes me think even if I want to love however I am and what I feel, why do I need another’s approval, 5 other people’s that too. bs!

  10. This article and it’s comments surprise me with how FEW women care for their looks.
    .
    The other recently warmed up article with many comments has already surprised me with how long and how many experiences some people need to understand something, which should be obvious: if you offer yourself as an object, then you’ll get treated like an object.
    .
    But the appearance is something, which has to concern every women and also men, who aren’t rich. (Or what did you think by what Jennifer Lopez [only for example, there are others too] chooses her toy boys?) Beauty has the biological function of showing health. So if you don’t look good, then you’re also not healthy. If people would care more, then there would be a market for healthy products not only for very wealthy people. We all would not only look better, but feel better, live longer, and in addition I could see less disgusting things in the streets. Although I have the impression that countryside people are in general healthier and consequently look better.

  11. Not yet. I turned 30 this year but still look like I’m 19-20 years old! People get chocked when they learn my true age, I even had a few choke on their food a few times haha.
    Virgo rising and a stellium in gemini with also chiron in gemini gives me a youthful appearence. I have a slender hourglass body with that so. Lets see how long this will last though.

    Its a genetic thing of course, my mother always looked 10 years younger then her age until now, when she has hit her mid fifties.

    • And I hae to add that I have never drinken alcohol in my life. Never smoked. And I train almost everyday and take care of my body. And also I don’t have kids. I think kids can make one ae faster, the physical ad psychological sress and all.

      I have a frind who is 42 years old with 3 kids, but she still looks like 18 tops! It’s crazy! Some even misstake her for 15 year old (petite body).
      I don’t know her asc but she has a gemini moon, but a round cancer rising looking face, so dunno.

    • And not shown in her natal chart? All genetic things are shown in the natal chart! That’s actually why I say that astrology has the last say.

  12. In spite of all the signs telling us that the pass of time and aging are inevitable, most women, while they’re still young, think they’ll be an exception, somehow.

      • I know. I think ive aged ok.
        When we look in the mirror most if not all of us look into our eyes. We see the soul that is still young
        Its when we see a picture of ourselves we see what others see. Its can be a wake up call.

        • So well said! My 71 yr old best friend and I were just saying that exact thing! I’m 59 but feel I’ve aged more in the last year due to extreme stress and health crisis. I see the 50 lb weight gain but until I see a photo I don’t see the age. In the mirror I’m still young but extra lrg now. Weird how that is. But looking into our eyes makes so much sense. Thank you

    • Do they also think to be an exception of being mortal or is this rather a male quirk?
      .
      The less illusions, the better you could be prepared. When I read about illusions, then I must immediately think at Neptune.

  13. As a guy, I always felt like the plain or “unattractive” girls had a leg-up on maturity because they couldn’t rely on being pretty. I dated kind of geeky girls because they were interesting.

  14. I never relied on my looks because where I grew up, I was the odd one – the French Italian dark auburn/amber wild pony in a world of classic sedate lovely Northern European/Scandinavian blondes. It didn’t bother me, I was into my studies and working to help my family and saving for school. I had the smart geeky boyfriends who were like the defense not the scorer, lol, and it was fine. I didn’t find out I could attract lots of men esp the well positioned snotty kind til I moved to NYC and had style of my own, by then I didn’t care, I was busy, knew who I was and disliked men who were all about my looks only. Stuck w the smart true down to earth geeks! ….. I have a giant Virgo stellium from Sun to kibble, and even today I look young and stay in shape so people in their 20s and 30s think I am in the early 30s and are shocked or even angry when I say errrrr, nope! ….I can tell I am aging, greys popping up and those laugh lines, I had two bouts of serious illness, and family trauma, but I still feel like hey, I am strong and relatively healthy and my mind works, so as I age, whatever.

    I have every intention of being the laughing wise fearless Auntie Mame which I see as more valuable than being desperate mutton dressed as lamb. If I can be as cool as Helen Mirren, whose sparkle, wit, and strong life energy shines at every age from her 20s thru today. Dame Judi Dench would be fine too! After all I have seen in life living or working around the world, being alive, with your wits, some energy and happy sass, goals and wherewithal and reasonable health is good enough. Eat right, get some exercise, wear clothes and hair that make you smile, read and listen to things that make you happy, you will be fine.

    My grandma at 85 was a little plump, white hair, but laughing, well groomed and witty….giving and very interested in life and people circled her like a planet. Be interested in the world and just the shape of your thighs and you will be beautiful.

    My grandmother was also a clothing designer and told women, There is lingerie for what sags or pooches, there is a joke for what hurts or saddens, there is a sunrise to look forward to, there is a color perfect for your skin today, and there is common sense to tell you that a smile is the best beauty treatment.

  15. Funny this was brought up! I was hit hard by a birthday this year, and it’s clear I’m aging. My skin conditions are worsening, I have uneven skin tone and always look tired (probably because I am!), my hair is greasy and my eyes look droopy.

    And right around my birthday, I decided I was finally going to write the novel I’d been thinking about for literally at least 5 years, and becoming a tidier person, and focusing on controlling my temper. I didn’t really think of the correlation, but it totally makes sense!

  16. I tried to think about myself as part of nature to feel better about aging, the way a tree can become more beautiful over time, how distressed fabrics like sandwashed silk are lovelier and more comfortable and appealing for the duress they’re put through. It doesn’t work. I straight up hate not having my young face any more and I don’t see it changing.

  17. It’s actually not a perspective I want changed, I think it’s just healthier to accept that’s how I feel.

  18. uhm, i was 14. had the strange idea that guys didn’t like flat chested women so just acted as if that wasn’t something worth depending on. has worked out all right… although it helped to eventually realize things were a bit more complicated.

    • Yes, say it loud: it’s a strange idea! Even double funny from a girl of just fourteen years because she should be still growing. The only real effect is that flat chested women show the signs of age less.

  19. You don’t have to age to feel/look old. Just saying. Saturn in 1st house here.
    Vibe, allure and attitude. I think that makes you younger. And laugh, laugh will do to. Curiosity and sincerity in approaching people and life.

  20. One thing I learned early on: “Beauty is fleeting, Charm is eternal”. I was a beautiful woman in my day but never thought about it much. I was just me, so I never relied on my looks, even though my job was very much about appearance. I was lucky I was taught that being interesting was more appealing. To be able to hold up my end in conversation and contribute ideas. Like Elsa’s mom, my mother taught us boring was not an option! Be funny! Be entertaining!

  21. Funny thing. Your breasts get larger after going through menopause. I thought, “well,that’s a nice side benefit”. Thing is, you turn around once or twice and realize you’re morphing into Aunt Bee.

  22. I’m 70.
    Libra moon and rising.
    My vanity ebbs and wanes.
    It is a relief at times to look in the mirror and know that, no matter what, self acceptance and peace is a beautiful feeling.
    “Love and forgive the Self I now see” was advice given to me from one I know to be wise.

  23. I’m 71. With Venus in Leo in the 1st, I’ve always had a flair for the dramatic. You can’t stop the aging process—love yourself and make the best of what you’ve got. Do the healthy things because, as you get older and wiser, good health and vitality are what really matter.

  24. Oh I thought I had one in my early 30s when I got out of the shower looking worse than when I got in, instead of ‘refreshed’. But that ain’t nothing until around 60 when the actual levels of muscle mass or your height goes down! LoL! Thank goodness you have become wise.???

    • I guess I’m proof gravity works as advertised! I wouldn’t swap beauty for wisdom.
      “Women are wise, wise women they say, and there’s a little witch in every women today”!

  25. Guess it’s apt to answer this on my birthday. I was at church and there were lots of children today. I smiled a lot looking at them thinking why I feel the same as you still? There wasn’t much difference between us, we all lightly kick the air when sitting in the chair. I have moon in 1st house and feel no different from a kid’s energy. Didn’t care about my fine laugh lines yet.

  26. I thought this would happen, yes, when I was in my 40ties.
    At 30? No, nothing was dropping either.

    But turns out I was wrong. I attracted a 15 year younger lover. Still rocking it at 54 years of age.
    Venus on the Ascendant and lots of Gemini to boot.
    Saturn in Aries is also called the fountain of youth, am I correct?

  27. I’ve been going through over a decade of the “reckoning.” It’s funny because when I was younger, I felt such pressure to do all of the upkeep, so I looked forward to getting older and not feeling that pressure anymore. Welp, now it all takes effort. It’s the effort that bums me out. It used to be so easy, and yes I used to get away with things because of my looks. I still do a little, I’ve got that Aries ASC youthfulness I guess, and I will definitely mourn when it’s all gone for good. I enjoy being attractive. Plus I have the other side to me, and it all made me well liked by the types of people I like too.

    I have plans to get myself back in shape after having a baby at my “advanced” age and well that’s just who I am. I want to look my best and I intend to do so. A friend of mine in her 50s looks good because she takes care of her health. She’s got a full head of grey/white hair but her skin and eyes are bright. Health, stress management, seeking happiness etc. – that’s my goal and I look to her for inspiration!

  28. I never had this, I am 57 now and never felt beautiful, Venus opp moon, and was sad for it, but always felt sexy, a poor replacement I thought. After 17 years of celibacy and 4 years of emotionally abusive boyfriends I am with a guy now that finds me beautiful- I have false teeth from an earlier illness that reduced the bone in my jaw and even with the teeth out he finds me beautiful. He is a big fat guy and older than me (All my previous guys were much younger) and I find him strikingly beautiful, I could gaze at him forever. It took me to see beauty with my heart for me to feel beautiful. It shocks us both how much we feel the beauty of each other and how lucky we are to finally come to this maturity and treasure. We have known each other for 20 years and just weren’t ready I guess. But it took the relaxation that comes with trusting someone for me, and him, to accept that we are acceptable and beautiful……I’m still scared though….neptune transiting sextile and trine that moon Venus opposition. And as to the saggy boob, wrinkly older lady stuff…since we got together my boobs got bigger and smoother, I have no wrinkles and I think I may be looking younger. Loving someone worth loving seems to be youthening me. Funny that this comes when it no longer matters X

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