Why Are So Many Unhappily Partnered

blind spotI’ve written quite a bit about the problems people have trying to find a partner. Social engineering is a big component.  Does this mean married or otherwise partnered people are immune? No. Legions of people are dissatisfied with their relationships, but why?

There are a lot of reasons why people are unhappily married but one the most obvious causes is their blind spots. Social engineering affects everyone. Knowledge that might resolve this condition are suppressed.  I’m talking about simple ideas that would turn your life in new directions, the minute you hear them.

For example, this is fact: if you take your problems to your friends and/or family, like almost everyone does, they are going to hear your side of the story and with the VERY RARE exception, they will side with you.  Does this sound like a good way to solve a problem?  Unless you have some miracle genius, super friend, you will be validated and sent on your way. Your “counselor” has just kicked you back into your pit. This is true even if they were well-meaning.

Hopelessness and helplessness are two feeling states we are constantly and successfully pushed towards.  What are the odds of your being able to solve your problems, in that state of mind? It’s entirely possible to live your entire life this way. In fact it’s encouraged.

This simple idea for this post is: Your friends and family are almost always biased in your favor.  It’s a big circle jerk that goes ’round and ’round while real solutions elude you.

I know this is hard but if you want to change your life, you have to change your life and this means going outside your comfort zone where something new can happen.

Do you understand your partner’s side of the story?


Comments

Why Are So Many Unhappily Partnered — 2 Comments

  1. Ah, Elsa. I will be elbow deep in my youngest daughter’s relationship struggles today. How do I know? My oldest daughter told me. Youngest is struggling for an answer and after, I’m sure, she’s discussed this with her therapist and friends, she’s seeking answers from those of us who know her forever. And yes, champion her side every day.

    She’s ready to break free and her bf is unaware or seemingly so. He’s too bright not to see and feel the changes, but fearful of loneliness enough to ignore the obvious.

    I’ll try to be honest and supportive but, if she’s ready, I’ll try to send her your way.

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