Who Is The Control Freak Of The Zodiac?

Lucille ballOver the last couple days there have been a slew of comments that characterize Virgos as controlling. I don’t get this at all.

I consider the Cardinal signs to be the control freaks of the zodiac without question!

I have both Capricorn and Libra prominent. It takes one to know one! But for the people who think Virgos are controlling – please ‘splain to Lucy.

In my mind, Virgos communicate what is wrong with you and then go off to do their other work. Um…

Who is the control freak King (or Queen) of the zodiac?



Who Is The Control Freak Of The Zodiac? — 180 Comments

  1. I imagine that people hear Virgo’s helpful suggestions as attempts to control. Virgos are efficient and good at getting things done. If someone can come in and show a Virgo a better, more efficient way of doing things they will incorporate that knowledge. A really controlling person would not be able to do that.

    I agree that the control freaks are the Cardinals. I have vast experience with Aries men so they get my vote.

  2. But kashmiri – Virgos are supposed to be analytical. It’s their function. Jeez Louise, should no one think of anything carefully ever?

    I’m not being bitchy, I’m just askin’.

  3. See, I am talking about PURE Virgo energy. Not where someone’s Mars is, or their jacked up Mercury or the fact they have a Virgo Sun but a stellium in Cancer…

  4. Hmm..

    Cappy’s love to control their environment… but I’ve never met one that wanted to control people, per se; it’s always been more of a “If you can give me what I want, stay; if not, please don’t interfere in my business”.

    Libras, on the other hand, looove to control people. I have a typical Libra sister… my Taurus sun has finally gotten wise to her ways and is no longer budging 😛

    Virgos… can be stunningly manipulative, but controlling? Nope…

    Scorpios are the control freaks, hands down..

    • My ex is Virgo and my soon to be X is Capricorn although the cap is more precise and stubborn in their planning The Vigo is still quite calculating and just as much a planner. The only difference I see is that Virgo has to way over think things and get hung up to the point of driving everyone else crazy until you help them make up their mind

    • That was meant as a reply to Elsa on oh Planning is Cappie not Virgo. In reply to your comment My ex, their daughter and a sibling are the epitome of control freak!!!you are right about 1 ,thing on Cappie and that is if you don’t give me my way then “leave” my Cappie literally breaks up with me every 2 weeks for last 13 months and I give her way without objection 99percent of the time because I’m a cool as hell Sagittarius. easygoing and we’ll adjusted! My friend is a Taurus and 3 people who she was in relationships with are Cappie and she only describes as assholes!!! Lol we have been close friends for a long time never had a single disagreement and laugh like crazie every time we talk. If my Cappie was as cool as my Taurus friend I would marry her in a heartbeat but that’s not the case:(

    • Wow know that I think about it of my 50 neices and nephews…the one that I know ius Cappie ius knoiwn as the bossiest person in the entire family “CONTROL FREAKING FREAKS”

  5. My Aquarius boyfriend always accuses me of being controlling, which is troubling to Venus and Mercury in Virgo. I’m just trying to be helpful! He shouldn’t be driving in that lane because he needs to make a left! He put a comma in the wrong place! He spelled “chipotle” wrong!

    He doesn’t have to change these things. But he should know they are there. I mean, jeez! 😀

    • Its Aquarius ERA we are too unpredictable humanitarians evolving with everything and anything this universe throws at us!!!

  6. I don’t find Virgos controlling, but I do find them a bit analytical.

    I don’t like planning. So I guess that’s WHY I have a partner with 6 planets in his 6th House (Virgo’s home?) Ha ha ha

    As for who’s controlling, I don’t notice…I’m basically uncontrollable, so knock yourself out.

  7. lol @ Piya…

    I would love to follow you two around all day 😛

    That said, Virgos are always running around cleaning my apartment.. I do it anyway (stress buster) but it’s cool ’cause it frees up some time for me to do other stuff… like relax. I only really relax when my Virgo friends come around…. Wow…. I just fell in love with Virgos all over again.

  8. “Virgos communicate what is wrong with you…”

    This is probably a big part of the reason that people are tagging Virgos as controlling. Very few people actually want to hear that there’s something wrong with them, and they respond defensively by projecting the “wrongness” onto the speaker. Kind of like this:

    Virgo: “Dude, this aspect of your personality is way out of whack…if you don’t look into adjusting that, it’s really going to cause you some problems down the line…just saying…”

    Non-Virgo: “You don’t like this aspect of me? There’s nothing wrong with me! You want to change me because you think there’s something wrong with me but there isn’t! You’re trying to make me into something else, trying to control how I act! You’re controlling!”

  9. Cardinal signs.

    Aires through being bossy
    Cancer through guilt tripping
    Libra because they just are
    Capricorn because they really are the boss

    also, Scorpio, because control has to do with power.

    Virgos don’t get my vote as controlling but they sure are a pain in the ass

  10. “Virgos communicate what is wrong with you…”


    The really manipulative ones will communicate it by asking you a question that they carefully anticipate the answer will be….exactly what they are not saying.

    My merc is virgo and MC is cap. Love to think things through and fret about it the whole way.

  11. I have Pisces and Virgo. They seem to make a good team for the most part. Somedays I am like the laziest Virgo you have ever met in your life! Capricorn reminds me to get off the couch and do something. Jupiter says it’s gonna work out my friend, just sit back and when you are ready, go like there is no tomorrow. My Aries partner can be very controlling. I let her control all sorts of stuff, which makes it easier for me in the long run. She makes good judgements about things most of the time, so I give her lot’s of space and pick my times to ask for favours or to lok at something from a different point of view. There are areas of our lives like finance that she leaves completely in my hands.

  12. Heh. I know…I’m being facetious. 🙂 I have a 1st House Moon and am highly intuitive…I can ‘hear too many voices’ if you catch my drift. My brain literally short-circuits.
    (The big reason why I rejuvenate while I’m alone, probably).

  13. Ah ha, yes, Capricorns/planning. Gotcha. I don’t know if I’ve experienced the pure Virgo energy…so many Virgos I’ve met have significant Leo as well, and the combination confounds me.

  14. I have been Married to a Man with Virgo Sun/moon/Rising and saturn. He’s so not controling. I have known him for 12yrs. (Been married for 6 of those years)

    I’m a Cancer sun with Aries moon! I’m controling!! Everything has to be done my way. Mostly it’s my territory that I need to control, not really people. Well unless they start screwing with my comfort zone.

  15. I’m really surprised Virgo was even brought up as controlling! I’ve known a lot of Virgos and I have Virgo moon and rising and while I definitely feel most of the time like I am the only one who can do something the way it should be done but I know that’s not at all practical.

    Controlling people has to do with attaining and retaining power over other people, which I think is so far away from what Virgo stands for. Virgo doesn’t crave power (like the Cardinals), it just gets upset when people don’t do things the way they should be done. It doesn’t try to force or manipulate. Not the Virgos I have known anyway. Sheesh.

  16. having said that, my aries partner has a good job and spends money on herself without interference from me. I am lucky thogh as she is quite frugal and does consult me on larger purchases or bigger picture stuff.

    Charlotte, I think you are on to something. I have not met Virgos that like to control everything. I have met some male Virgos with messed up ways of dealing with their emotions, like lashing out at people.

  17. Controlling one’s environment and organizing one’s surroundings are two totally different things. Virgo organizes and fusses around, but controlling things? Not their thing. (I have three planets in Virgo.)

    All the Cardinals are controlling (my ASC and Moon are Cardinal), but Capricorn wins the prize for control freakiness, hands down.

  18. The more I read this thread the more I think I just don’t get Virgo energy, full stop. It’s one of those signs that…I dunno. You’d think I’d understand being an earth sign and all. ::scratches head::

    I agree with Loonsounds, Capricorn really is the boss. For real. If you’re worried about them being controlling at least you can effen say so without them falling down and crying (not naming any signs).

  19. As quite a Virgo-ish Virgo, though far from “pure,” I’d just like to say that I’d be quite happy to get any number of things in my life under control, including some of my relationships. Ain’t gonna happen, I know that! Remember, Virgos are PRACTICAL. If I can control something that really sorely needs controlling IMHO, then by gawd I’ll try to get it under control.

    Meanwhile: (ahem, phel)
    The really manipulative ones will communicate it by asking you a question that they carefully anticipate the answer will be….exactly what they are not saying.

    Ummm, that’s because if I say it outright I may have had the experience before of you going absolutely ballistic. No thanks. But I am perhaps responding to an extreme example. I’m thinking of my Cancer younger brother. You know, it’s supposed to be teacherly, Socratic like. You’re free to answer however you like, really. Even yelling. (smiley face)

    • yes, right on! Ihaven’t been on this forum in a very long time. Wow, I’m impressed with some really astute(?) observations like this one.

  20. PS., I do find Cancer manipulative/controlling, though I have a hard time distinguishing which. My Scorpio significant-figure-in-my-life, definitely tries to control the daily agenda. Mostly I welcome it. It’s just when several people get involved in the plans that things get sticky and sometimes ugly. Aquarius and Libra are manipulative. Gemini tries and then laughs. Sagg imagines he has things under control. Leo might cry, so just do what they want. I don’t know any Caps. I think they don’t like me. That leaves Taurus? They’re easy going, by definition. Oh yeah, Aries can be pricks about it.

  21. Maybe it was the pure part I was missing, but my stepfather is Virgo with a side of Virgo and his expects his suggestions to be implemented immediately and anything less is a disappointment. He serves all meals, you get nothing more or less than he thinks you need, if he doesn’t think you are dressed appropriately (and I’m talking going to the park, not a suit and tie restaurant) plans are changed and we don’t go. That kind of thing seems controlling to me. But I didn’t think it could be some of his other stuff coming into play.

  22. And I might mention, I’m 45, he’s 53 and he still tries to do this to me…23 years he’s been married to my mom.

  23. Elsa, I love these blogs! They are so deliciously witty and true!!

    I really think Virgo’s come off as controlling because of the things they say and do (ie-perfecting, fussing, criticizing) but are actually not really controlling…it’s their ‘autopilot’ to tell people about themselves when they can’t be doing something more constructive for you like cleaning your house or custom building you a hard drive. I once read the best way to get a Virgo to get off your back is to give them something to do…makes sense! 🙂

    I think Capricorns (I am) can be controlling…but I have a fixed chart with plenty of Aquarius, so I mainly am in control of myself I find. I have a Scorp Saturn conj. Pluto on my MC….for the most part I attract really controlling Scorp/Pluto types…I personally find those to be the most oppressive!!

    I don’t see a problems with Virgo’s form of control…but that Scorp need to control everything either outright or even more scary….behind the curtain gets me every time!

    Maybe it’s a preference thing…maybe certain people can’t handle certain types of control.

    Or maybe my Sun is transiting my 6th house and I just got back from Bath and Body Works soap shopping spree and about to head into my freshly cleaned tub!

    Virgo Sympathizer,

  24. I had no idea Libras had a rep as being controlling… the two Libras I’ve known best (I was engaged to one of them) were both very avoidant, not controlling at all. Never able to make a decision, non-confrontational to the point of disappearing into the wallpaper, etc.

    Then again, I AM controlling. 🙂 Which may also explain why I get along so famously with Virgos. Someone wants exact instructions? I can do that.

    I’ve found Aries and Caps to be very controlling. (And me + Aries to be highly explosive.) Virgos? Nah.

    My own controlling side is almost exclusively Taurus.

  25. JJJ – you have a Scorpio significant other? (or whatever) I know this is not an advice column….it’s not is it? :::Laughing::: Just wondering if you (or anyone) has any ideas on how to get this guy to friggin make a move?

    Scorpio Sun, Venus in Capricorn, Mars in Virgo. Geeze, between the Scorpio and the Capricorn, I’m probably screwed….i’ll be like the posts that people put up that kind of disappear into a infinity…

    P.S. Kashmiri, those posts were so funny!

  26. My experience with Virgos is that they are outrageously demanding of the people they have relationships with, be it friends, family, or lovers. It the person does not live up to their ridiculously high standards, then they *judge* the individual, and often walk away from the relationship/friendship entirely, because they are so invested in being “right” and having things done the “right” way, and even living the “right” way. I’ve been dumped by Virgos because I didn’t vote the way they thought I ought, and I’ve been dumped by Virgos because I accept monetary help from my parents, which they considered to be a “wrong” thing, and I’ve been dumped by Virgos because I refused to agree that there was a single right way for people to be/behave/live/love, etc.

    Personally, I think Virgos are emotionally wounding in a way that feels controlling because the message they give is: BE HOW I WANT YOU TO BE OR ELSE WE CAN’T BE IN A RELATIONSHIP ANYMORE.

    As a Libra, who often sees so many sides of various issues and can’t commit the way a Virgo can to one way being the absolute right way, well, their ultimatum feels like a controlling position to me, an emotional blackmail position. I get that kind of thing quite often from Virgos. I grew up surrounded by them, and to this day find them to be the most hurtful in general of any other sun sign I’ve been in contact with.

    So, yeah, I find them emotionally controlling and wounding in many cases. Their expectations are simply unrealistic and too demanding.

    • If Virgos were trying to control someone for not voting a certain way, financial choices, doing the wrong thing, they’d stick around and continue to try to control. They didn’t try to control you: you were incompatible so they left. Dumping someone is a Virgo controlling themselves.

      • Bam! You hit the nail on the head there. As a virgo I have zero interest in controlling anyone. I certainly wouldn’t dream of dumping anyone for voting ‘wrong’ (not even sure how one does that??)
        If I ever walk away its for purely practical reasons. ie the relationship is no longer enjoyable. In which case, it’d be better for bother parties to part company rather than expend their precious energy trying to see eye to eye. Life is too short for drama. As for being hurtful…..that is certainly never my intention.

    • I’m a Virgo and I can agree with the last two comments. Sometimes we as virgos will experience situations with a person that we don’t necessarily like or it may be something they’ve done that turned us off and the same thing goes with both friendships and relationships. The only difference between the two is that friendships aren’t as intimate and you don’t spend as much time with your friends as you do your partner so it doesn’t feel like you have to be so in tune with what your friends do all the time and if they do things you don’t necessarily like you can simply just let them be vs your partner is someone who we see as a reflection of ourselves in a way . I view my partner as my equal .. my team mate and if I see that we don’t have the same views or we think too differently I will separate from someone because I feel as though we’re incompatible . It’s better to be with someone who thinks similarly to you so you don’t have to feel like you always have to give an explanation or break down exactly why I have such a busy schedule or why I take the time to plan out my entire week on Sunday or just anything in general . I read somewhere that the best partner for a Virgo is just another Virgo and I’m starting to see that to be true. The only other signs that I can merge into my life without much conflict is Pisces, Taurus when they’re not trying to be overly protective and scorpio because we have similar drives . Capricorn’s and virgos are very similar , caps are just more vocal with their thoughts than we are and are a little addicted to just money in a way .. virgos are more so addicted to wanting to be their best self . We usually picture ourselves at our highest peak and work to be that person .. I usually inspire my friends rather than try to control them. When it comes to relationships I crave someone who will push me to be a better version of myself and if I feel like they’re holding me back or stagnant then I have to make them a platonic friend or cut them loose .

  27. I love these posts too and find them fascinating. I do think that the cardinal signs tend to be most overtly controlling but in the end we can all try to manipulate or control others and then the question becomes HOW does a Gemini try to control others or how does a Cancer etc…

    Gemini will try to talk or charm you into it. Scorp might try to sex you up. Aquarius would probably play cat/mouse games to get you to come here or go away.

    Anyway I think the trick is to avoid people who sink to the low end of their astrological make up and to try and take the high road ourselves.

  28. I vote for Scorpios as being the most emotionally controlling. Libras on a general level and Capriocrns at work. I have a number of cappy friends and they let go at home, maybe they see what they’ll loose at home if they don’t give some get some.

    As for Virgos…. I guess I’ve never seen them as controlling. I see them as hoping, sorting, fixing fixing fixing but that mostly seems to be things – like the door latch or the toaster etc. etc.

    I have seen them be picky – ie if you view the world this way they don’t know how to be in an intimate relationship with you (two virgo girlfriends that fight this battle of how to accept a guy who thinks so differently as to violate their moral standards.)

    But in the end, I vote for Scorpios.

  29. Yeah, I don’t see Libras being controlling (I’m not sure what exactly they would try to control?). My dude is a Libra rising and having to lay down the law (any law) at his job practically incapacitates him.

  30. I don’t think “controlling” is a sign-linked predisposition. I think it’s a negative expression of combinations of planet/signs… as in:

    my capricorn moon square my aries venus, and the fact that I have the seventh in aquarius and 2 7th house planets.

    I crave security and independence at the same time, am attracted and repelled, at the same time, and when I’m not conscious about this dichotomy I tend to try to control the other to mitigate my discomfort with myself.

    am I controlling cos I’m pisces? or am I controlling cos I need therapy? I say– BOO I already got me some therapy!

  31. I think it is the Cardinals hands down. The most controlling man I have ever met is a Libra, with Leo rising. However to be fair it is my interaction with him that seems to make this so, so how much of it is me? Can there be pure unadulterated energy like controlling etc without others energies bouncing in and out to make it so? I hope this is understandable, what I am trying to convey here.

    I have different configurations of planets that send out energy of… don’t even think of controlling me. Wouldn’t that be a red flag to controllers, and how much of it is me drawing those kinds of people!? With a Taurus Sun and Mar’s conjunct the midheaven, I think I also have to accept that I am just a tad controlling as well.

    All I know is the relationship with this man, if one can even term it a relationship has sent me spinning out into the void. I am trying so hard to understand what I am supposed to “get” and learn properly with dealing with all of the emotions and thoughts that this exercise of relating has generated.

  32. LOL at satori..and Lupa good point on sinking to the low end. And no Elsa…I haven’t shot him yet, but I did take a couple of years off from talking to them because it became a bit much. Now, I just detach and serve a big meal to the kids before we go over there.

    I love blogs like this that make me think, so I was thinking about this while I was out tonight and one of my dear friends who is also Virgo came to mind. She’s the anti-step dad. She’s practical (had an IRA when she was 18 and way before they were in fashion), discerning and incredibly faithful and she has always inspired me to that higher plane. I haven’t always succeeded, but she’s never given up on me. Virgo shining brightly…cheers Sarah!

  33. as a virgo ascendant… i usually keep my mouth shut. i have more important things to do than manage other people’s lives. though as a teacher i do try to make the road signs really clear, and written in as many languages as i can. but i can’t make anyone actually follow the directions if they don’t want to.

    although my aries gets irritated if someone gets in my way and slows me down…

    well, and then there’s parenting….

  34. (or should i say, you can lead a student to knowledge, but you can’t make them think. you can just show them good ways to try)

  35. my pet peeves for control freaks is capricorn 😉
    just the fossilized ones though.

    sometimes cancer bugs me by assuming that your moods are their responsibility (i have lots of them around, in one guise or another.) there are some that i have great difficulty in feeling like i have any emotional privacy in their presence. (well, it’s the scorpio/cancer double sided assault….)

  36. Daemoness, I thought that post was really good, especially the part about “how much of it is you, how much of it is me” Instead of just blaming it all on the other person. Course sometimes that works, too!

  37. Dameoness, I feel compelled to wish you luck with that one cuz I think you’ll need it ;-). Most controlling man I ever dated was Libra. It seems like a combo of a lot of cardinal with a lot of Virgo is kinda especially difficult for types like me to stomach. They not only tell you what to do (in my case, ‘try to’ tell me, cuz I am a Taurus, aka the immovable object), and how to do it, they also pick you apart in the process.

    But there have been quite a few times that someone with Strong Virgo energy, like my exhusband, a Virgo, they will somehow have that one last tiny missing piece that you absolutely must have in order for the project/puzzle to be accomplished. That is pretty cool how they do that.

  38. It’s Gemini. In my opinion, not only do they not know how they do it, they don’t even know why they do it.

    Virgos are controlled. Internally, they’re adhering to some insane off the wall dress code. Capricorns need Order, Aries needs to be The Baby, Cancer needs to tuck everyone in safe at night, Libra needs to know nobody has tried to stage a coup.

    Gemini…they just manipulate for the hell of it. Because it’s how they test the world. I think it might be how they know they exist.

  39. I am aware of ways in which I can be controlling, and I do my best not to be… one series of Elsa’s, that I really liked, was all about projection – it fascinated me, because I could name two people who were constantly projecting onto me; I also remembered one person that I’d projected several things onto, so I try to pay attention in my dealings with others. It bugs me when I can’t let go of something, because I know that it isn’t in my control, and it’s ridiculous to be distracted by something in that way.

    I try to work out any type of bad situation/relationship problems, through writing, and talking (if I’m not too emotional before writing). I’ll vent, and then once that’s out, I’ll start to think about things from the perspective of anyone else involved. After that, I may vent some more, then go back to analyzing other people’s motives – I do my best to be fair. What I don’t like, is getting to hear about certain things over and over again, where I’m apparently not living up to their standards (Taurus Sun, Moon in Aries or Taurus, Mercury in Aries opposed Uranus, Venus conjunct Jupiter in Pisces, Mars conjunct Saturn in Cancer, square Pluto) – he would also sound as though he was constantly trying to teach me something – caring, but kind of patronizing, too. He would point out areas in which he’d made the same mistakes, but also considered himself to be above many people, in terms of integrity and knowledge. Then he flakes out, and acts in the same way he’s accused other people of acting… I waved the red cape in front of him, threw back some of what he’d been chucking out to the world (and me), and he didn’t like it.


  40. I think I got caught in the spam trap again. Maybe it’s better that way, and my comment just shouldn’t be published. 😉

  41. I know a lady who has the Sun, Mercury, Venus, Uranus and Pluto all conjunct in Virgo, and Moon and Mars conjunct Neptune in Scorpio. She quite evolved; a natural (hands on) healer. I say “quite” because I know she still has unresolved issues with both her parents. (Very cold and controlling mother and her father is a light autist – and physics professor)
    Her well-wishing impulses unfortunately make her come across as extremely *meddlesome* at times, but she is well loved:)

  42. I think Libra is pretty controlling. Perhaps you just didn’t realize you’re being controlled. 😀

    Virgo isn’t controlling to me. I have Virgo (and Cap and Libra) & also Virgo & Cap runs in my family.

    Last year my family had to deal with [horrible, drawn-out, traumatic family matter] and [Virgo family member] came up with plans ABCDEFG for all the scenarios. With spreadsheets. But there was no controlling [from Virgo family member].

  43. My vote goes to Leo as most controlling; Scorpio in second – but only because Leos and I often rub each other the wrong way – not so with Scorpio: I don’t mind Scorpio pulling my strings at all; I’ve never been on the bad side of a Scorpio male and if I wait things out I see their behind the scenes efforts are always, always to my benefit, even when that’s not the primary objective. It’s amazing!<3

  44. Oh, and should my comment be published – I felt bad for throwing stuff back at this guy, I’d just really been pushed at that point. Before, I’d gently point out where I didn’t agree, smile, move onto something else… I have these bouts of anger over him, but can never stay (consistently) angry. He had a certain defensive wall, was introverted, and could come off as being very angry – he loved to talk about things that were on his mind, but he didn’t always have the best social skills (I can relate to that) – there were times when his Venus/Jupiter was apparent, though ~ very much so. I admired the fact that he tried to improve himself in areas where he would think he needed it – he never apologized, but would find a way to adjust his behaviour if he took something to heart.

    He was as controlling of himself as he could appear to be with others – that is no longer apparent, though. I wish I knew his ascendant, so that I could see where exactly Pluto and Uranus are transiting in his chart.

  45. Snapdragon and Loonsounds, thank you both.

    I wrote a long piece explaining some of the background of relating with this man and then my net connection went into a brain fart and I thought maybe I best not try to re-write it.

    I will be succinct and state that things came to a head over Astrology. He hates that I could see so much of the real him from his chart, and *paraphrasing* anyone can see these things. Of course there was a multitude of other issues, however this was apparently the most convenient way to create more distance between us and heartbreak for me. I have accepted this finally and have disengaged today.

  46. I am a Virgo through and through and I am always accused of being controlling. Maybe I was at one point but through lots of work on myself and the return of my saturn I no longer am. However the stigma has never left me. I am analytical and I usually do know the best solution. If you have a better one then please share – if it is a better way (which of course I’ll determine) – then I will step down. I have no interest in controlling people – way too much work and what’s in it for me? But there are things I know – don’t you want to know them too?
    Constantly being accused of being controlling….by my Scorpio mother.
    Scorpio gets my vote.

  47. Yes, Cecilia, Yes I do. Like I said on another thread, it is often a Virgo who has that last missing piece to an important puzzle which would otherwise never reach completion.

    It looks like most of the people on this thread agree with you that Virgo energy is not controlling energy, per se.

    The world SO needs you guys!

  48. I have plenty of Libra and Cancer, and yeah, I know it, gotta hand it to Cardinals for control. My Libra/Cap stepmom and my Cap co-worker are pretty far gone in that area, too.

  49. Lupa’s point definitely seems to rule the day here…

    It occurs to me that if a Virgo were to be controlling, they would be VERY VERY good at it. Comprehensively so, with a lot of attention to detail. Therefore a controlling Virgo would be a nightmare to deal with.

    (A controlling Gemini could be distracted by shiny objects. Ooo, look, a chicken…)

  50. I’m a Virgo with a Libra ascendant. I don’t control you, but I can easily talk you into doing what I want. I obsess about being in control of myself though.

  51. Ewinbee, you have everyone on a roll :o)

    Funny, just never thought of chickens as shiny – when i first read it, i thought it must be some obscure joke.

    Geeze, now i guess everyone will get themselves a nice, shiny, chicken. Good Grief. Imagine the racket.

    Now look what you’ve started!

    Next they’ll be wanting roosters…

    There’ll be trouble then.

  52. Lots of good comments here. As a virgo i can totally relate to why people think we are controlling but for me, it’s not about control – it’s about efficiency. Why would I want to do something that I can inherently see the flaws in? My way is USUALLY faster, cheaper or more efficient. It pains me to have to waste energy when I don’t have to.

    In my experience, Capricorns, Libra’s and Aries are the most controlling although I agree with the comment that it’s probably a behind the scenes mix of stuff that makes someone of any sign a control freak. I think having back end Scorpio is a bad thing because it’s so hard to be aware of your Scorpion traits and fight those black urges.

  53. “Funny, just never thought of chickens as shiny – when i first read it, i thought it must be some obscure joke.”

    Snapdragon, Ewinbee and I are just being silly easily distracted Geminis and the idea of shiny chickens seemed pretty funny to me. I googled shiny chicken. *laugh* I do love chickens though.

  54. Togi- Good comment. I refer to this as conservation of motion, energy etc. If you are going somewhere you might as well take xyz, right?

  55. hmm…I don’t see Virgos as controlling, just perfectionist – always looking for the flaws, lol. I have several Virgo/6th house friends, and the best way I’ve learned to get along with them is to ask their advice. They almost always have something useful to contribute. Whenever I want to figure out what is wrong with something, I ask a Virgo and they are right on the money 😉

    To control something, you have to be focused on the big picture, where something is headed. The Virgos I know aren’t much into big picture, but focus on details. Capricorn is big picture, planning, establishing order, ensuring security, success. If something doesn’t contribute to this end, Capricorn usually doesn’t care enough to try to control it.

    But control freak? That seems to me controlling for the sake of being dominant, having one’s own way. I’d have to say either Aries or Scorpio. Aries loves to be dominant, first, best because it focuses attention on them (and they get to win). Scorpio dominates to have final say, determine the ultimate outcome, have the power to control the ends. Final vote: Scorpio

  56. Wow. It just took me like an hour to read through the comments.

    Kashmiri, I’m with you – Virgos befuddle.

    But I will say that having been engaged to a Virgo, just broken up with one, and now dating a double Virgo 🙂 . . . what some might think of as controlling (I’m Capricorn Sun), I actually find caring/nurturing/attentive. Like when my Virgo ex would remind me around my time of the month what vitamins to take and that I needed protein. When he kept the house immaculate and couldn’t go to bed with dishes in the sink. Or the ex-Virgo who took 20 minutes to carefully slice a mango in perfect squares.

    It must be me, but I appreciate these things.

    But, yeah, the new double-Virgo I think is secretly a Leo – closets full of clothes, bright colors, can’t pass a shoe shop or clothes store without him “running in for a sec” – claims he’s “lazy” (though he works 75 hours a week right now) . . . (his Cap rising is appealing). But I’m feeling so much Leo from him. Weird.

  57. Snapdragon, Don’t feel too picked on, cuz while Scorpios may be controlling, they are definitely sexy enough to make up for anything … a thousand times over.

  58. The guys that check me out seem to think so….
    Heh Heh

    I don’t know tho, I must have “stay away” written on my forehead.

  59. Oh, and thanks Loonsounds!

    Lupa – I’m ALWAYS looking for a reason to have a good laugh!

    Did someone mention The Sound of Music?

    “A teaspoon of sugar, helps the medicine go down….” (funny that song goes up and down as well)

  60. Definately the cardinal signs and my good virgo friend who can be a bit controlling has a few planets in libra… 🙂

  61. Haahhahahaha!!! My brother (virgo) and I used to agree that I could work out the plan and then he got to do the details.

    “Tomorrow!” I would say, “We will go to the zoo! You’re wearing xyz! And we will eat before we leave!”.

    And then he would come back with “We should have peanut butter sandwiches for breakfast! Because they are more filling! And we should leave at 8am because it will take us an hour to get there and it will get really hot around 12 – 1pm, in the afternoon we will see the monkeys and the bears because the monkeys are indoors (a/c) and the bears area is shady!”

    “Right” I would say, “Whatever” “. . . Shiny chicken? Where?”

    All the details were negotiable, he just picked out the ones which were best/most sensible. Meanwhile I was in Controoooooool! We still maintain this kind of dynamic, though I hardly ever tell him what to wear 😉

  62. This was really interesting, and I’m shocked to see Virgos get a controlling rap by some overall.

    On Libras, they don’t control outright, as that would be completely impolite. Libras disapprove. If you don’t seek their approval and can weather that pursed lip expression, then you’re in the clear.

    I have a very strong Virgo and am married to a double Virgo. And we don’t have control issues…with others, that is. Ourselves, yes, we have some pretty tall expectations.

    I think Virgos get misunderstood because of their natural desire to help. Virgos also tend to get agitated with things that don’t make sense and wasted energy. It’s uncomfortable for a Virgo to be exposed a mess-particularly in thinking, you know? Virgos want to set things right, and are more than willing to help you do it, if you’re open to the idea. So if a Virgo sees you missing something, s/he may well speak up. If you’re not interested, we may be a little befuddled by your clearly illogical decision, but it’s your life, you know?

    I think it sometimes annoys others because we’re so often right. Ha! As I’ve matured, I’ve learned to save my opinion for when I’m asked…usually, at least. And I’ve been called the “reality check queen” by my kids, who say that I can be incredibly annoying with ’em. But c’mon! It’s not about forcing someone else to do what I think is right. It’s about pointing out what is so very clear to me that someone doesn’t seem to see. It is a gift, although at times unwanted. I have to remind myself that people may not want to see my picture, even if it is sharper and has more accurate detail than theirs.

    And my Gemini Moon loves Shiney ANYTHING!

  63. Whoever came up with the idea to sing “Oh what a beautiful morning…” I got that song stuck in my head this morning or yesterday, and it would not go away Grrrrrrr 😉

  64. Foxxy, your brother sounds Exactly like my Virgo rising mother. Every detail! But then she has the Aries Moon to kick in that extra punch to say “and this is the way it Will happen.”

  65. I do have difficulty with Virgo sometimes. I appreciate that someone needs to be efficient. It’s just when they think that someone needs to be ME. Just because they value efficiency doesn’t mean I do. But I do see that they’re just trying to help, and they are just so good at the things they do that I can’t help but admire them.

    I have a shitload of Cardinal planets. Just do NOT boss me around. There’s only one boss of me, and that’s ME!

  66. Virgos are idealists but they’re also very much rooted into reality. From my experience they are control freaks because they seek perfection. I don’t think their need to control isn’t so much because they want to have power over others but it’s only because they want to match this image of the ideal. It’s different from the Piscean “ethereal” ideal as they are more earthly.

    Without Virgo, the world wouldn’t be a better place 🙂 (And this is from a double Aries that ALWAYS gets into verbal fights with Virgos! HAHA!)

  67. And as for the question of control-freak king or queen? I would love to say CAPRICORN because it is ruled by Saturn and Saturn is associated with FEAR. Capricorn is almost shielded too so they do their best not to blow their “cover.” However, I am not always sure of this and I don’t want to knock this sign… I just don’t happen to get along with most capircorns. I may be wrong.

    I would say CANCER is a control freak sign… 🙂 I have a Cancer Moon and nothing is more powerful than cutting through every layer and targeting the deepest softest side of you. You get to the person’s weakness, you have them wrapped around your little finger. Cancers are great at evoking guilt tactics. Heck, I’m good at it. So good that I have to make myself conscious of this and STOP myself because this is bad. I only use my powers for good 😛 HAHAHA!

  68. Libras? Tell me about it! As a 5 planets libra living now with 2 libra parents it’s HARD with my mom. She has cancer rising. Gotta say she’s usually controlling to save people’s feelings or to do the right thing but man is it annoying in HOW she goes about it. She doesn’t ask – instead she orders and manages. Well on a bad day. As a kid I would inwardly rebel which lead to depression as a teen. Until I finally did leave.

    Miss my ex ex – he was pisces with saturn in virgo and moon in capricorn. He would kind of float but when he had to pin point a solution it was so bang on! Life was awesome with him. But when the moon would be in cancer hitting his uranus at 1 degree cancer and affecting his 10th house then all of his control would come out which I would counter with a practical solution.
    It was the first relationship I entered understanding my own controlling side, managing it and instead working with his energy. And it rocked. But I do have to credit his flexible mutable energy. Even though my shiny chicken moon sometimes didn’t want all the order lol. But it did make life easier.

  69. Well, I don’t know. My mother was the biggest control freak I ever knew, I mean seriously controlling and she was triple Virgo, with no cardinal to speak of except Pluto in Cancer. Although my father was also extremely controlling, he was Aquarius with a stellium in Capricorn, so maybe she was just doing to us what was done to her.

  70. I think Lupa hit the nail on the head at #32:

    “in the end we can all try to manipulate or control others and then the question becomes HOW does a Gemini try to control others or how does a Cancer etc…

    Gemini will try to talk or charm you into it. Scorp might try to sex you up. Aquarius would probably play cat/mouse games to get you to come here or go away.”


    I think we ALL manipulate and attempt to control something, someone, somewhere, somehow. The question becomes:

    Are you aware where *you* do it? When? How? To who? Why? What’s good about it? What’s bad about it? And finally, is there anything you need to change ~in your own behavior~?

    It’s that Hall of Mirrors thing – we all love to point the finger at the other guy. Projection runs rampant with this subject.

    Personally, I do not know a single person who is not “guilty” of this (attempts to control). But there are people who see themselves more accurately than others (admit it). Some who are more overt about it, others who are covert about it (deny it to themselves and/or to others).

    One last thing… I think it has to do with many “things” in one’s chart, and how these “things” all interrelate. It’s not as simple as “Libra this” and “Scorpio that”. It’s a full chart thing.

    “Hi, my name is Strawberry Fields and I am a controlaholic!” 😀

  71. Another thing to consider…

    Being perceived as a control freak is also very dependent on the person doing the perceiving.

    Long story short:

    Incident on bike trail with Girlfriend #1. Incident happens, she blows a gasket and yells at me for being a Control Freak. Starts spouting off “You’re just like my mother… blah blah blah.”

    Identical incident on another bike trail with Girlfriend #2. Incident happens, she thanks me profusely for keeping her from harm and possibly saving her life.

    It’s (also) all in the chart of the *beholder*.

    Different people have different triggers.

  72. More memories popping up…

    Nightmare Girlfriend #1 thought I was a Control Freak about just about EVERYTHING.

    I do these same things now with Girlfriend #2 (now my fiancee) and she (often) thinks I am being HELPFUL.

    Now this is not to get out of admitting I have “control issues”, because I have SERIOUS control issues, and I *know* it.

    I just want to emphasize that the subject however is a TWO-WAY interaction.

  73. I never took the cardinal signs to be controlling. Granted I’m not an “old astrology salt” by any means, but I always saw them as “the signs which initiate action”, ASSERT, or get things going.

    If you’re standing on line at the bank and there’s a long holdup, the Libra is probably the most likely one to say “What’s taking so long?” – politely, with a smile of course, because Libra knows that you get more done when you’re smiling.

    If the Libra doesn’t get what she considers great service, she might politely say “I’d like my money back.”

    I work online, as you know. I can always tell who the Libras are because they start to drive me nuts after a while. Libras are all about communication. They really don’t know when the conversation ends, when to take ‘no’ for an answer.

    Maybe the true cardinal role of Libra is to “get everyone talking” – put communication into action.

    I would say that the Libra catch phrase is Just Do It. I don’t know if other cardinal signs feel the same way but that’s how I view life and don’t see myself as controlling at all, at least not the Libra part of me.

    Libra is also, to certain degrees, an opportunist and a manipulator. If no one else is grabbing for the last donut, Libra will say “Is this anyone else’s donut” and if no one responds Libra will take the donut, but if anyone does, Libra will offer them HALF.

    I think “control” is more of a Scorpio thing, I honestly do.

  74. This post bears repeating! I have a Cardinal Grand Cross in Cardinal houses, Capricorn rising, Scorpio Moon, Mars square Pluto and Pluto in the 8th. After reading all of the posts, it seems my chart could be used as the “poster child” for control freaks. For those of you who feel they’ve been manipulated or controlled by someone with these influences (Cardinal, Scorpio/Pluto, Capricorn) how do you deal with these energetics without placating and ignoring the person in question, or amputating them entirely? I’m looking for tools that have been used successfully, the result being both parties feel acknowledged and respected. (Practical, lofty and fair – Saturn conjuct Neptune in Libra)

  75. PS: What I mean by “manipulate” is that if Libra wants something from you, Libra will get into your mind and predict the most likely thing that you will respond to in order to give up said object.

    Or Libra will use logic to justify why they did whatever they did. So if you react emotionally to something Libra did or didn’t do, Libra can “talk their way out of it” by appealing to your sense of logic. Kind of like a man who might complain that your emotional reaction is “irrational.”

    But that’s just the way their minds work – Libra doesn’t FEEL the way other signs do. It’s much more natural for Libra to be unbiased and objective, seeing every side of everything. You know those ‘If “A” then “B” scenarios’ that they give you on logic tests? Or the circle diagrams where they go “If ALL sheep are white, and all rams are sheep, then ALL rams are white – yes or no?” Well, that is literally how our minds think… ALLL the time.

    Libra doesn’t control for the sake of controlling. We just don’t care, and because of the unabiding sense of equality, we can’t apply different rules to other people that don’t apply to us.

    Control comes out of fear, and I really don’t think Libra has that – not like Scorpio.

  76. Virgo, your problem is you think you know the best solution and you dont. I was marry to a virgo man, and all the solutions needed to be follow as he said. I got tired of that, that’s is lack of respect to other.

  77. My sun is in Virgo but my ascendant is Leo I find that many a times when people make mistakes I tell them so they know their mistakes… All the Virgos I know do that… But then there are these 3 people that I know who were born on 24th of Aug and they are pretty controlling and more like Leos. I could be a very harsh critic though!

    I’ve also noticed that I somehow don’t point out mistakes of my family and loved ones.. Its very rare unless the blunder stares me in the eye and I am like I’ve gotta point this out

  78. After my comment over a year ago. I have to say that Virgo man and Virgo Woman are both totally diffrent, like night and day. Nevertheless, They do share one thing, they are worry freak and they analize things too much. I have a girlfriend who is virgo and she worries wow, she say she doesn’t worry about things, but she keeps talking about what she’s worrying about for days.

  79. And regarding Virgos. I think they are trying to be helpful when critizing and suggesting you make changes. My Virgo ex and a Virgo friend of mine have suggested things but not to control me or manipulate me but to adjust my life attitude in what they feel would be more positive for me. Sometimes I get mad and other times I will take the advice.

  80. Isnt manipulation a form of control? I find Virgos very controlling. It definitely doesn’t just stop at, “hey, you’re doin it wrong” or even “heres how to fix it”.

  81. Don’t have time to read all of this now though will later! – fascinating.

    My adoptive sister has Moon, Jupiter and Pallas closely conjunct in Virgo (25˚>27˚) and she is very controlling indeed (She’s a Sun Sag with Mars conjunct!).

    But yes I’d agree Caps are controlling, but mostly we want to control our own environments – we are VERY hot on that. For controlling other people, I’d say Scorps and Librans – a lot of politicians are Libras. Scorps are into private control, Librans into public control, maybe…

  82. I don’t have much experience with cardinal control freaks (aside from myself, which I can’t entirely deny lol), but my Virgo mom is definitely a control freak. Less so as she ages, but very much so when I was a kid.

  83. Maybe Virgos are controlling but more in a “it’s for your own good” way, whereas Cardinals (ahem Capricorns) are more motivated to control others for their own benefit? I guess that makes Capricorn sound bad but I don’t mean it that way, I’ve just known a lot of them!

  84. My husband had a huge Libra stellium in his 6th house square Capricorn moon and square two planets in Cancer, Taurus rising. He’s extremely Cardinal. He doesn’t control overtly but expects everybody to cooperate with his wants and if it doesn’t happen goes into a quiet bull sitting in the pasture pissed off mode. At work his word is law so no problem there and he wants peace so he approaches people in a kind but firm way.
    In my chart there is a fixed grand cross heavy on Scorpio and Aquarius….we definitely tussle with each other to get our way!

  85. The two Libra Sun women I’ve known best (my Ma and one of my BFFs for about five years) were so controlling they’d freak if a mug was out of place in the cupboard. Total control freaks. Both wore the pants in their marriage and even chose their husband’s clothes

    One of Ma’s favourite sayings was “There’s a right way and a wrong way to do everything!” – hers, of course 😉 I have to say as a Cap I tend to agree hahaha – mine, of course

  86. OMJ aries are only controlling about themselves and their own lives.. if you are part of it of course they are controlling … main reason why aries prefers to do everything themselves and stay alone and ends up alone… aries energy expects a whole lot from themselves and their own lifes… plus Virgo is on the sixth house cusp, libra on the 7th and cap on the tenth .. it is extremely difficult to satisfy all that drive for perfection.. (just felt like defending aries)

  87. I agree with charlotte about caps.. I think it is a bit of survival instinct, if they aren’t the boss, and can not control everything and have a stake in each pie then who would listen to them … and their whole existence is wrapped up around people needing them… crabs get a bad rap for being needy… cap ensures that they are needed, otherwise they are insanely insecure and would just walk away to another place more suitable because they can’t handle that.. I maybe wrong, but thats the vibe I get from capricorn people

  88. Cherie I want to know the answer to that question too – although I have a loosely formed t square in fixed signs scorpio, taurus, aquarius – not counting my ascendant in leo — I would still like to understand all the controlling cardinal and scorpio energy and how to play fair and respectful with such a type, without cutting them off or lying down and rolling over

  89. Bizarro. I happen to find Fixed signs more controlling than Cardinal but maybe that’s just me.

    I’ve Cardinal energy in my chart. I don’t care for control unless I’ve been crossed.

  90. And I think Caps are just big-time anal. They like to control, too, but in my experience it hasn’t been in an unhealthy way.

    I dunno. Everyone likes to control somewhere…

  91. I don’t see myself as controlling. I see a better way to do things. Not everyone sees that. Now, my Leo Rising…that can give me a tendency to want to be the center of attention and to Lord over others…..

  92. Mr. Carson from Downton Abbey is a good example of Virgo. He’s in control of servants’ affairs but everything does is in SERVICE to the upholding the ideals of Downtown Abbey.

  93. I think Susan Miller (Astrology Zone) says it well when she describes a Virgo-Virgo love relationship… “Virgos like to be helpful, so this is a union of two eager beavers helping one another get ahead without competition. Yet both of you are highly critical. If you train your razor-sharp analysis on this love affair, can it survive such a tough investigation? This is one tendency both of you will have to keep in check; when you two argue, you will be cool and objective in a chilly sort of way, slicing one another into little ribbons like only Virgos could. Ouch! You will hold your own in any argument, but the scars could take time to heal. Remember, you can’t get the toothpaste back into the tube.”

  94. It’s fun to think back on this. It really threw me for a loop when I first started checking sites on astrology, being a virgo and all.

    Some still seem to push control into one solar pen or another. I really do not understand why some of the supposed accomplished astrologers do this. They must know something I don’t.

    I know there are controllers, but I must say I respect the ones that are out front about it and don’t dress it up. It’s the manipulation that gets me every time.

    And when controllers are in a position of power and negatively affect other lives, well, I’m not always so comfortable with that. But I guess I can always just say no or walk away if it’s too much.

  95. As I think about it, I think every sign can be considered “controlling” in their own way: Aries =Bossy; Cancer = Mamma guilt; Capricorn = the “Boss”; Leo = the Kings and Queens; Scorpio = the ultimate “mastermind”…etc. Virgos? Well, where I see Capricorns as “The Police”, I see Virgos as “policing”. They are the Jiminy Crickets, the conscience of the zodiac. They’ll remind you — constantly — what you’re not quite doing right, what you could do better, what is the best practice. Fussy? You bet. Expert quality control managers? Absolutely. Can that feel controlling? Indeed – especially if you are not in the mood to be corrected!

  96. hmm…the negative virgo moons I know are the most nitpicky and controlling when they tell you exactly what is wrong with you down to every last detail in their opinion…and they go around doing this to everyone in their vicinity, but if you do it back to them they can’t handle it…so in effect they are trying to control everyone’s every action, speech, gesture, clothing, values while claiming they have no faults…(because it’s only for their knowledge…)

    That is pure control for control’s sake to work off metal energy at others’ expense –

    give me a Libra or Capricorn who leads people and gets them to do things for a goal, so we can actually get something done, any day!

  97. Maybe some Virgos appear controlling because they often have Libra in their charts? My Virgo mother was very controlling but in a manipulative way… she’d use the old “Do whatever you want but I’ll be very disappointed” trick if I didn’t do exactly what she wanted and that got to me every time when I was young. I put that down to her Scorpio Mars (and Capricornn Moon), not her Virgo Sun.

  98. I think Virgos can be controlling. It just depends on the way you use the word “controlling.” If it’s in the sense of “master of my own little domain and stapler” yeah. Otherwise, they’re more annoyingly nitpicky giving advice, but not demanding that it be implemented. God help you if the virgo considers you part of their own little domain though. :p

    There are some really excellent and funny comments here. I love it.

  99. I didn’t read the other comments, so I apologize if this is a repeat, but I have always thought Virgos are controlling. Speaking to the extreme here, one little hair out of place and they flip out, lol.

  100. Yeah, I agree that Virgo will Pick. And I suppose some people react to that and thus they *feel* controlled because it gets under their skin. But that’s people’s own discomfort with receiving critical information! Virgo is a mutable sign – how can a noodle control anything or anyone? I’d go with Capricorn and Scorpio for controlling.

  101. “In my mind, Virgos communicate what is wrong with you and then go off to do their other work. Um…”

    Nicely said Elsa. I am going to have to go with Kathryn though. Having a stellium in Virgo, we just need to point out the necessary. We don’t have time for control, nor do we care in truth.

  102. I’ve experienced mostly Scorpios and Cancers to be extremely controlling (but also manipulative) they are the type who need to know what you are doing at every moment of the day and then approve or disapprove of it lol. Virgos can be controlling too, but about little things, and you’re right, they quickly get bored if people don’t take their suggestions and move onto more productive things lol. Mercury in Cancer wants everybody to agree with their ideas. My mom has this. Aquarians can be controlling too when it comes to their ideologies. Sometimes they won’t shut up.

  103. Aquarians can be controlling when it comes down to moving something in their home one inch out of place. And also if group activities are not going according to their exact plan. Seems like every sign has some control issues or other.

  104. Yeah, my Virgo Asc.-Scorpio friend and I were getting ready to go out to lunch the other day. I grabbed my purse and was heading out the door, when she says “Oh, you got a new purse? More of a satchel actually. It really doesn’t become you.” Matter of fact…
    I just looked at her, mouth agape, and then she says “Oh, whatever. Just stop looking at me like that and let’s go.”
    To top it all off, we were at the mall yesterday, and she stops at a window display and points to one of those hideous vinyl purses, with “Bride of Frankenstein” and her picture emblazoned in electric blue on the side and says “Now, I don’t usually carry a purse, but I would love to have that.” In light of her insulting my simple, forest green, All-Weather-Leather, vintage Dooney and Bourke satchel, I simply said “It wouldn’t become you,” and walked on.

  105. I have cap asc/cancer sun/Virgo moon. My sisters: libra asc/ Virgo sun/Scorpio moon and Virgo asc/cancer sun/Pisces moon. I wouldn’t say we are controlling people so much as we are people who don’t feel comfortable losing control. As far as I’m concerned, these are *very* different things. Anyone with Virgo rising or personal planets in Virgo can tell you that we are much harder on ourselves than anyone else. We have a pathological need to understand our environment and the people in it. There’s a lot of analysis going on, all the time. If we make someone else feel bad, we feel bad too. We try to figure out what is wrong so that we can make it right. This isn’t meant to be controlling, we really, really want to help. Most of us believe we MUST try & try again, if necessary. We also usually 1st point our fingers at ourselves before turning them on others. That’s not the same thing as being controlling. I also don’t believe cardinal signs are controlling, as a rule. Cardinal signs initiate, they’re supposed to be the idea people. Starters. Most of the “cardinal” personalities I’m acquainted with, myself included, are assertive and occasionally dominant but again, not the same thing as being controlling. Possibly, if “controlling” can be attributed to a modality, it’s fixed signs. Especially mars in a fixed sign since mars is the planet of action or mars in aspect to Pluto or even Pluto in a fixed sign. Virgo can be critical, especially self critical but we don’t hear much about them trying to enforce their will on other people.

  106. Of course, I meant to disagree respectfully! I have been accused of being a control freak and so has one of my sisters but I just attributed that to the fact that we both have mars in Leo… although she also has a cardinal ascendant (and a fixed moon): she’s the bossiest of us 🙂

  107. cancer! at least, when running with the pouting and the sulking and the passive aggressiveness.

    …but only because i was raised by a four planet cancer stellium and then i married a cancer sun… i gots my own cardinal going on too… (if only because i’ve had to learn to push back!)

  108. I must not be living up to my Virgo Sun. I never offer unsolicited suggestions or advice because I figure I wouldn’t be especially appreciative of receiving it myself. And when people do ask for my input, i am usually hesitant to give it. People don’t really want the truth anyway. They want to feel good. So I think of some completely innocuous comment, a nice little warm fuzzy that won’t ruffle any feathers or hurt any sensitive feelings that will allow them to walk away feeling good about whatever. That way everyone is happy. They get to feel good and I get no drama. Easy peasy. Win win.

    As for trying to control others, I have very strong boundaries and I am very sensitive to others trying to be controlling of me, so I don’t do it to others. It’s only fair. Besides, I have a Leo rising…I don’t care about anyone else but me. lol Basically, my motto is live and let live. Don’t bother with me and I definitely won’t bother with you.

  109. “wyrdling
    as a virgo ascendant… i usually keep my mouth shut. i have more important things to do than manage other people’s lives.”

    As a Virgo Sun, I couldn’t agree with you more on that. I have much better things to do than criticize or control others. I care about me… controlling and criticizing ME. I don’t have time for the rest of the world. lol

  110. I choose Scorpio. My friend has her husband and kids happily doing what she says they should. I dunno how she does it.

    Looking at myself, I don’t want to be in situations where I will be controlled or restricted. This is Libra I guess.

    I don’t think I get my way too often. I spend a lot of time alone. I’m not crying or sulking either, honestly! 🙂

    Has anyone mentioned Leo? A big guy having a Leo tantrum is something else. You have to have some guts not to give into him.

  111. As a Virgo I automatically like to make stuff better ie the room the yard. I wish I had been a designer or architect.

    I think its those Scorpios that are controlling. I am an 8th house Sun so I should know!

  112. Wow, don’t have time to read all these posts so I am sure this has been addressed but the fixed signs seem the most controlling to me. Taurus, Leo, Scorpio. I have them on my angular houses with a mutable Gemini Sun and Pisces Moon which makes me initially stubborn to change but once I make the change I adapt to it. Until it’s time to change again!

  113. As a Sun Virgo conjunct Pluto Virgo and Scorpio rising – I know I can only control ME – no matter how much I wish I could control others – I know I can’t. So I concentrate on controlling myself, my own life etc.

    I will say – I have met some controlling Capricorns in my time and some non-controlling ones too. My mom is a Taurus and she is a bit of control freak. So go figure.

    Why do other signs see Virgo as controlling? My only guess would be because we are often quite opinionated about how to do things and always offer up our helpful advice and services which unfortunately most other signs take the wrong way (or in my case, use me and take me for granted than step all over me) – My intentions when I do this is often for the best interest of the party involved (completely unselfish on my side) but some people can’t take the advice or help of a Virgo (even if we are right or our advice is the better) because they often are too stubborn or prideful. People of other signs need to realize that Virgos like to help and serve – If you take this the wrong way, yes, you will see us as controlling. Put your pride and guards down long enough to see that Virgos are just trying to help you out – not control you.

    I often come across people that ask for my advice or opinion and than get mad when I give it because it wasn’t what they were hoping for and than look at it as us trying to control or change them. Too bad – what did you ask me for than? I try to avoid those people because I don’t care to waste my time with those who are not appreciative of my help. This Virgo has better things to do. If you don’t want to take my advice, fine – your loss. But don’t get pissed because, well, you asked and the Virgo gave it to you. Geez.

    How many other Virgos out there like me often feel people use you because they know you will be the first to offer up your helpful services? I certainly do. This Virgo is finally learning how to say No everyonce and a while.

  114. Just to add too – As a Virgo, my self-worth is often tied up in whether or not I feel of use in the world. A Virgo who feels like she/he is not appreciated and that no one needs their help can be a sad and depressed Virgo. Virgos likes little projects to keep themselves busy. I don’t know about the rest of the Virgos on here but I am most content and happy when I feel like I am being useful to someone. So, other signs keep that in mind – this desire to feel useful might spiral out of control in some Virgos and may look like a controlling behavior.

    • It’s kinda weird to answer posts and comments that are years and years old, but well, rereading this thread after almost 10 years has proven to be just what I needed this evening. Yes, Virgo here, quite a strong one, but also virtually a fire-sign person. I love all the insights I see here, really. But it’s really interesting to see Virgos explain themselves. I can relate to all you say. It’s like it’s taken (me) a lifetime to learn how to be a Virgo who can actually handle all the disparate emotions and motivations of the Zodiac, people that is.

  115. My mum is a Superhelpful Virgo. Id say queenfluff youve just about described her in your comment. She has her moon in leo so whenever we have a family gathering or party she often has to act in total control.She has to come across as a leader and always has to feel useful even to the most insignificant of issues! Im using ‘has to’ a lot because she expects a lot out of everybody and herself. It just so happens i have my venus in virgo too.

  116. Yes i can see Virgos as controlling, they want things to be done their way or its not done properly, and they are critical if its not done that way.
    Now this isnt alone controlling, but when they manipulate someone to do something their way through negative comments and critism, or simply redoing something, it spills over into controlling.

    But i do feel the controllers of the Zodiac are scorpios!
    However if you have someone with strong Virgo and scorpio placements in their chart…i would run the other way!
    I say this a cancerian thats often overruled by Taurus and leo in my chart, my one piece of Virgo is mars int he 6th….my staff know that its easier to do things my way or do it again

  117. I don’t think virgos are controlling they are peope who basically see things they feel need fixing with a person and than either complains about the persons shortcomings or start making the person feel stupid…this is done for the virgo to attempt to change the other person to this perfect human being…something that not even the virgo is capable of being…they are nitpickers they talk about others…they are nosy and sneaky and private and not really meant for a relationship…they have no patience…hey expect shit out of others…they even depend on others…they would rather a person change who they are so they don’t have to see the other persons flaws…they can be mean…I knew one that was banking on their baby mammas tax return to fund his music career but treated her bad..he didn’t really want the relationship or the baby and kept saying it but tried to stick around for the tax return…they one day got into an arguement over the virgos selfishness and the virgo got mad and the baby mamma was holding the five month old baby and the virgo screamed at her at the top of his lungs just I inch away from her face scaring the baby…he is angry…the virgos are no good unless they are successful..they are mean and can be cold it depends on where they are at in life…if they are happy they will be good towards you if they are not happy who ever is closest to them they will be deceitful sarcastic revengeful and mean…

    • Again, I apologize because it is now 2015, but I just want to say that selfishness, pettiness, likelyhood of getting desperate financially are not provinces of any one Astro sign.

  118. This helpful crap is for friends and ppl who ask virgo for their opinion cause they know virgo will tell the truth…virgo is not helpful for no reason it feels good to tell everybody what they need to do but no one can tell the virgo what to do…they think they are right…but a lot of them are lazy nosy irritating secretive cheaters and oh big ass liars…ppl virgo are annoying…they are just good for sex or a friend not good for relationships…leos stay away from virgos they just think we are go for anythings because we give too much of ourselves…they are around for benefits in a relationship…they are very independent and unless they are doing good for themselves and with someone they really like they will treat u like shit and tear you apart!

  119. I think they are very subtly controlling and will make suggestions which make you think and question yourself. It’s hard to explain what I mean. I’ve only ever dated one Virgo and he’s not only put me off Virgo’s, he’s put me off men. They are pedantic and I don’t know I didn’t smack him in the face LOL he kept calling me pedantic just because my opinion didn’t correspond with his, he would say something and then follow it with ‘agree with me’ I didn’t know if I was meant to agree or have my own opinion and speak up, he told me I needed more fight then I never seen him again gee whizz! Well as they say the grass is greener on the other side.

  120. I dunno, I’m married to a Virgo guy with a stellium conjuncting his sun. He is one smart s.o.b and amazingly detail oriented,works hard and always has risen high wherever he has worked.I’ve never met a man who works as hard as he does. He is the quintessential manager. I think that’s what it is,he loves order. It’s important for his well-being and when that is not possible the negative manifestations come out.An organizer of the first order.I appreciate that about him but it drove me crazy for years because I’m not one who likes to be organized by other people, but, I have learned to respect his input and if it doesn’t ring true for me I just do my own thing and it’s fine.

  121. I have my sun, mars, and venus chart ruler in virgo. Nobody has ever accused me of being controlling, and I know for a fact that I am not. A virgo likes to be in control of themselves and of their emotions, not others. I think it’s because we like telling people how they could IMPROVE something that we get this rep, but we don’t impose our will on them… they’re just suggestions 😉 A virgo likes to serve, they think they are doing a service by helping people trying to improve… we don’t always realize not everybody cares about self improvement like we do.

    The most controlling people I’ve met in my life were either Aries, Cancer, Scorpio, or Leo. That’s just my experience. Now if you get one of those and combine it with Virgo – then it might becomes crazy. The Capricorns I know were more likely to want to be in total control of themselves than others.

  122. A virgo has a hard time accepting their flaws, we’re always striving for perfection or to better ourselves because we can’t stand the flaws. Some virgos need to realize that other people are OK with making mistakes and are more accepting of their flaws and imperfections. It’s not our place to decide for them if they want to or should improve or not. Some virgos know this, others don’t. I think that’s where other signs/planets and personality influence. I have a strong uranian chart, so I like to respect other people’s freedom and individuality to chose, just like I want them to respect mine.

  123. I am Libra and a leader but most definately not controlling, there is a difference. I encourage teamwork and a fair workplace. I have Virgo at work who just wants to control but not lead, again, there is a difference. She thinks the way she is and does things is the only way and is very critizing of others who are different so makes jokes that are not actually jokes. She is yes man to boss whether she agrees or not. I stand up to boss if need be and that includes standing up for one of my team members. She will pass the buck to someone else even if it was her lack of leadership that caused the problem. I will not pass the buck because Libran fairness will not allow this. My Virgo colleage, in my view should not lead because of this negative controlling nature.

  124. As a Virgo myself I’ve often wondered why we are painted so negatively. It’s refreshing to see this questioned. I do notice everything and sugarcoat nothing…but I also don’t judge, which I think is where the biggest misunderstanding comes in. It’s kind of a bummer that being direct is considered a negative trait. I think people take our actions as stepping on their toes, but if I start picking up the place I’m in it isn’t at all because I think you’re doing a shit job, it’s because we are wired to, if we see a need, fill it. The controlling thing is actually comical to me, we are inherently bad at telling people what to do, so bad in fact that we would rather just do it ourselves! I think it’s also important to separate what may just be a person with a bad attitude from a Virgo, sometimes there no explanation for a rotten apple!

    • I agree, as I said above somewhere, it’s really great to see a bunch of Virgos trying to explain themselves. There are negative sides to every sign, and there are times when any individual falls toward their negative default thought and behavior. Interesting what you say about being direct, while also pointing out that “we are inherently bad at telling people what to do.” I agree, utterly, and the conclusion too, that we’d rather do it ourselves (because we’ve been so battered emotionally in the past by people’s negative reactions to our “helpfulness.” I am at a loss though how to characterize my motivations. Sometimes they are this, and sometimes they are that. I think the best that can be said is that a Virgo needs something to do (and someone else said that above). Rarely can he or she just stay still and enjoy the passage of time, especially when their is anything social going on around them. And yes, if they’re not feeling productive or appreciated in some palpable way, they (I) can get really pissy, embarrassingly so.

  125. I find myself daily struggling to take things lightly and to not pre-judge folks. When I do this, I, and others around me are more comfortable, and I can manage the day a lot easier. Virgos are their own worst enemies,but will correct ourselves after spending alone time fixing our attitudes and thought patterns.

  126. As for which sign is controlling, I’d have to say, nearly all of them. Depends on what’s at stake. I have a female Taurus friend who is said by some people to be quite controlling. I can see it, but since she has her husband under complete control (and always has) the rest of us get to relax and enjoy her wonderful hospitality. I have an older Scorpio friend who endeavors to control his entire circle of friends, as if he is trying to meld them into one happy family with him more or less at the center. It’s a mistake to try to compete with him in any way, and inevitably there will periodically be one of the members of his circle who rebells and spills the beans about something that is quite rotten in Denmark. He/She has to be excised; but that is the topic of another of Elsa’s blog posts, one which I am also perpetually subscribed to: Why do Scorpios try to freeze you out?
    I think Gemini can’t control it’s way out of a paper bag, normally. Libra is controlling in a certain way: they really really want harmony) but I doubt people are often harmed by it (though someone above says otherwise). And I agree that Capricorn is definitely “in control” of their lives and environment. It’s just who they are. Cancer, yes, a controller. You can’t escape it if they’re into you for whatever reason. Leo likes to be in control, but they would never stoop towards any awkward gesture that might expose them in this regard. Aries is in control, or you’re not there, you’re invisible. Someone above made very astute observations about Sagittarius and Aquarius. With Sag it’s more like, “what for?” and Aquarius is playing a whole different game. But they want to keep chaos out of their lives, too. So, control. In conclusion, Virgo controls for the sake of his own sanity, or insanity as the case may be.

  127. forgot Picses. Not controlling. Repeat, not controlling. The opposite of Virgo, yeah (but maybe not what you’re thinking).

  128. I’m libra with strong virgo influence ( I have venus in virgo in the 12 th house ). As someone said we show some things that we consider are not ok. If they listen to us or not, it is not already my problem. I try very hard and during long time ( years sometimes ) to make any kind of relationship works, try to adapt myself to others, but it is only one way street in general. The problem is that other people don’t take relationships seriously and that dedicated, devoted as us.
    Most controlling signs in different ways in my opinion: capricorn, aquarius, scorpio, leo and aries.

  129. I must say all my life has been controlled by Aries, Capricorn , Cancer & Scorpio … Sad but true ….. I never controlled them ….Me … Libra ….So …What I am saying That I et it happen ….why? …Ignorance is a bliss ….But they do not know ….I do not revenge ….Revenge is for weak people ….But …It will never happen again … I am in control of my life now …. Much love to everyone

  130. Cardinal people are controlling. For personal reasons. Virgo is trying to help. A cardinal person may control a situation for their own comfort cause they’re not feeling good cause they don’t like the way things are going cause they think life would go better if you just did it their way.

  131. But, honestly, I’ve told people with Virgo placements they are controlling. It is a psychology babble term that can be abused like ‘obsessive’, ‘gaslighting’, ‘projecting.’ It is said with fake concern and it claims the persons behavior is pathological. It feels controlling when people are strongly telling you what you should do. It’s none of their business. Particularly if they don’t know you well. Or they’re telling you to act starkly against character. Saying ‘why are you so controlling? why are you trying to control me?’ is a potent way to get a Virgo to shut up. Calling someone a control freak is a way to control someone

  132. My husband is controlling. He has a packed Scorpio 5th House so its passive but deep seated. He is uber polite and uber firm. You can’t get a rise out of him…his dispassionate nature has become burdensome.

  133. My son has a stellium in Virgo. He knows everything, in his mind.
    He won’t let you get one word in.
    It is mostly though critical, because Virgo is all about cleaning up.
    That can be really dangerous, Coco Chanel had Virgo prominent and she
    was about ethnic cleansing.
    But real control lies in Taurus, Leo, Scorpio and Capricorn.
    The fixed square to me is not the thing, most Aquarian’s are anti- control
    because they themselves recognize liberty and while not so willing to give is
    understand that if they want it, they must recipricate.
    They want to own anyone they are involved with.
    Live a little like I have, then get back to me…

  134. oh boy, virgo hating re-visited. 😀 For a sign that is chastized for being overly critical, other signs sure criticize virgo alot. Funny how that works. Virgo is supposed to put up with all the other sun sign crapola, but virgo is expected to be perfect in every way.

  135. hm i think if someone sees through the bs that they’re being controlled, they just won’t fall for it. It’s easier to be controlled when you’re a child, ect. But once you’re an adult, you realize, hey! i want to be the one in the driver’s seat of my own life you know?? So some folks, whether they are parents, peers, friends who look out for you, they try to control you because they just mean well? I guess that’s why. It helps if folks just learn to “let go” and “Let it be.” Whatever will be will be, que sera sera.

  136. Aquarius Aquarius the era of creativity and humanitarians with electrifying precision in positive control in our ever LOVING UNIVERSE always evolving brilliantly the GODLY way its supposed to be!!!!!!!!

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