Who Garners Your Compassion And Sympathy?

My sister and I in a controlled experiment…


Who do you feel sorry for (or not feel sorry for) and why?

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Who Garners Your Compassion And Sympathy? — 61 Comments

  1. Nobody feels sorry for me. Scorpio rising, cappy moon square Saturn. School of hard knocks, baby. And people think I probably did something to deserve it.

  2. I tend to not feel so sorry for fire signs, specially leos. I guess because they look like they are faking emotions and they’re not good at it. I also don’t feel sorry for people who almost consciently attract problems to themselves, because i figure they need them and there’s no point in me wasting my energy feeling bad for them. I used to feel bad for too many people but as time goes by that is changing.

  3. I was such a sponge for the pain of the earth and humanity that these energies really froze me up and did not allow me to access my true path. When you start understanding the metaphysical meaning of difficult situations it actually becomes an interesting riddle to solve and it all starts to make sense. Life actually really, and I mean REALLY FORCED me to detach myself from being a constant “healer” because I was destroying myself with all the (unconscious to a large degree) sorrow I was feeling and absorbing. So who do I feel sorry for? For myself for taking such a long time to figure this out! Deeeeep lesson for me.

  4. I don’t think that people feel sorry for me — they may sympathize with things I’ve been through, but I don’t think they get a sense of vulnerability from me that would draw out the tendency to want to coddle me or express that kind of “feel sorry” emotion. I tend to get more of a “You’re doing so well in dealing with xxx situation!” regardless of whether I feel I am or not.

    As far as who I feel sorry for…I tend to feel sorry for people who seem to try really hard and still get kicked in the teeth by life, the ones who struggle to make it through each day. They’re the people who are working so hard at making through that they don’t say much about it because they’re too busy living it.

    I tend not to feel as sorry for people who actively and repeatedly seek sympathy or demand that people give them a break because they’ve had this or that issue in their life, but refuse to do anything to change their circumstances or the way they respond to them.

    I don’t know the astrology behind all that, but there you go. 😉

  5. I feel deeply for people who reach old age who lament for the past or to be somewhere else.
    I feel sorry for people who deal with chronic pain, any way you slice it.

    As for who I don’t feel sorry for…no one. I even feel sorry for the people who have hurt me, because they’ve lost me even though I still love them.

  6. [Late. Oh, well.]

    I tend to be a pretty good white knight, and I only get intermittent bouts of sympathy. Mostly people can’t deal with it, or they try and pretend it away. I expect that’s Venus oppo Saturn.

    max
    [‘This doesn’t bother me greatly.’]

  7. I don’t know if anyone feels compassion for me or not. I don’t look for signs of that or ask anyone if they feel that for me. However, I do know I can’t stop feeling compassion for other people (friends-loved ones-strangers), even when some of those individuals often enough don’t deserve it at the time that I am in compassion mode. I still feel compelled to give it and offer to help in any way that I can. I’m a soother I guess and a caretaker by nature. I’m emotional (of course) and sensitive to other’s feelings/vibes. Which isn’t so great in my book when I feel like I can’t take a break from giving a damn so much that it hurts. From being overwhelmed or drained after having to be around them for long periods of time. It’s almost like some of their personalities, their voices and actions rub me the wrong way. Because most of them are so damn negative or spiteful-ish. I just wanna run out of the location and keep away from them to my own neutral (stress free) corner.

    And sometimes my hubby says how cranky or out of sorts I’m being. He asks what’s wrong with me. He tries to hug me and I tell him not to not yet. That I can’t handle to be touched or crowded right now or whatever. Like, all I wanna do is find a cave somewhere or a far away place from EVERYONE and hide in it for a while. WELL! So *HE* thinks it’s social anxiety or something. Fine. Maybe. But I don’t know for sure if that’s it cuz usually my gut tells me something. All I know is that my physical self reacts badly in a way that shows/feels like negative symptoms (headaches, body aches, bad tummy) with emotions in extreme highs or extreme lows.

    The only time the results are different is when I’m around calm, happy, good tempered people who aren’t hyper or selfish. THEY (the *positive* people) make me feel warm inside and relaxed around them. I mean, what the hell is up with that? Am I going insane or what?

  8. Carielle explained it better than I think I ever could: I feel sorry for the people who try so damned hard and still get kicked around but never say boo about it because they’re too busy living and trying to make it out. *sigh*

    I also don’t get a lot of sympathy but I don’t really need any, either. I feel much better about life when people ignore any difficulties I’m having and treat me like normal consequently I don’t show it when I’m having problems. Funny enough, the people that do notice and try to comfort ~always~ give me food: “Poor thing! Have a cookie.” (I have Cancer rising. 🙂 )

  9. Stephanie! I am also Scorpio rising, Cappy moon square Saturn!
    I don’t know if people ever feel sorry for me?? I guess I never paid attention. I tend to keep on truckin, with a smile on my face regardless of what I am feeling on the inside. I think I appear strong enough to handle myself, so people can’t really see an apparent reason to feel sorry for me.
    I feel sorry for people in third world countries who don’t have enough food, vaccines, and the such. I feel sorry for people suffering from the loss of someone, since that’s something we have no control over.
    For the most part though, I am extremely hard on myself when it comes to how I handle situations. I try not to sweat the petty stuff. When the big stuff occurs I try to find the lesson hidden beneath, then I move on. Basically, my motto would be “Life is what you make of it.”
    So, I kinda project that expectation on to other people, and get aggitated when people sulk in their misery for loong periods of time. At the same time, I am compassionate in the sense that I hope the person finds the strength to move forward. So no, I am not quick to feel sorry for people. Moon in Capricorn maybe?

  10. But I am still very compassionate in my heart! Someone tell me, does that make sense? It sounds contradictory doesn’t it?

  11. “I feel sorry for everybody”

    Yeah, good point.

    Orphans, abandonded little ones and children without proper medical care…such a sad state of affairs.

    On the other hand, religious fundis get no compassion- esp. if they are caught red handed engaging in activities they had explicitly lectured against. That’s vile!

    ~SS

  12. I guess I’m a little of a show off, leo rising. I hide all problems. They surface themself somehow. So I guess that pisses people off and why I get no compassion. I’m very grand and I don’t need the compassion. I don’t give a damn!! I’m going to keep on trucking and make it anyways.

    I feel sorry for any and everyone. Like someone wrote above said it best even the ones that have crossed me bcuz it’s their lost. I feel most compassion like others for the one that keepstrying and not only are they not making it but have no slack to fall back on.

  13. Aries moon folk don’t draw much compassion, I’m guessing. That would be me.

    On the other hand, we’re really good at giving everyone the impression we got our act together when it just ain’t so. Maybe we project “I don’t need your help, thanks. Just fine on my own.” The Aries confidence vibe, you know…

  14. I don’t feel sorry for my SO just compassion and empathy. I do feel that many people that know him as a friend and co-worker do not give him kudos or appreciation when he deserves it. He is an amazing, competent, strong and brilliant individual. Maybe as he is a pisces he just gives and gives where few seem to appreciate it at the level it is given and the quality it is given. I vote for pisces.

    And of course all signs that are having a really tough time. I wish you well.

  15. Oh and he doesn’t get it as neptune opposes his asc and his mc. His sat is conjunct his asc/moon. We have the moon/sat conj in common. And saturn squares my asc. He has loner typed all over his chart with the sweetest facade ever.

  16. Elsa, that is really interesting about you and your sister. She throws out a different hologram, huh?

    Viv, that makes total sense about Leo folks (and I have ended up with more than one Leo partner). I have trouble feeling sorry for Leos because they can dredge up way more than enough self-pity and melodrama, I won’t add to it!

    Also that’s funny you mention that fake crying, my last ex did that I called him on it! I am like “Dude. I cannot believe this, you are fake crying!” And immediately he stopped. LOL. He said no one ever called him on it before.

    Well, I can imagine he’s right, because he has one of those mothers who is like the mother with the penny rocking horse out in front of the grocery store that you talked about Elsa. The one who totally was manipulated by her kid, and therefore selfish to the world.

    And by the way I looked at one of those the other day, [thanks to reading that very interesting piece on spoiled brats, my words], and the cost, nowadays and on the East coast of the US is FIFTY cents – isn’t that tragic?

    SaDiablo, that is funny “have a cookie.” That would drive me nuts. I almost can’t stand it when someone says – “Are you OK?” It makes me so mad! I probably almost repel pity because I so don’t want it. I am an emotional loner.

    I also don’t feel sorry for drunks and the predicaments they bring on themselves, not to mention the self pity partys they throw while drunk – drunk dialing and so forth. This is probably because I cannot drink myself. So I am worse than the stereotypical former smoker who doesn’t dig being in the smoke path anymore (which is also true of me.)

    Actually, there is a considerable list of people I don’t feel sorry for but probably should.

    I do feel a lot of compassion for people like my mother, people who are solidly stuck in the illusion that life is so Real, because every little thing seems to come as such a rude awakening, and every little thing is so big.

    I feel compassion for hungry poor people, whether they live in my country (the US), a 3rd world country, or any country, especially if they are not enlightened, (and of course most are not). And for people who are ill and tired and depressed (so long as it is not self-induced by being a boozer. Wow, I feel like such a stickler on this. Atypical Pisces rising?).

    And I feel compassion for people who, all they can do to get by is work and work and work to get by, if it happens to be work that they detest or are totally bored with.

    Day to day, people who COME ACROSS as modest and humble people are most easy to feel compassion for, but as shown by your post, it is not something that people can control (unless they are far better acters than my Leo ex).

  17. Shell and Stephanie; We need to go for a beer. I am a Scorpio rising and Cappy moon.

    Neptune must be very strong in my chart as I am deeply affected by poverty, injustice, abuse or neglect. I run an animal rescue charity and have been immersed in life and death issues surrounding the elderly and mentally ill from a young age.

    I tend to absorb the pain and despair in any surroundings and my energy is tuned into that frequency so much that I can’t pretend it isn’t there. I don’t seek it out. It always finds me though.

  18. I don’t tend to have much sympathy for anyone…A lot of people see me as cold-hearted because of this. Except children. If a child cries, I’m all over the motherly role. Anyone else, I figure they can handle it. The ones that really get no pity from me are the people who cause their own drama and problems, and are too stupid to do anything about them except whine. I’d say that I’ve led a rough life and it probably led to this shell of an exterior, but it probably wasn’t any worse than anyone else’s, and certainly nothing at all compared to people from war-torn, impoverished nations.

  19. My sister and I kind of had the same opposition – except that mine has no clue that where someone always jumped into take care of her, when I was in a similar circumstance no one did that for me.

    I do not know what this is in our charts … I do know that physically we are opposites. She is tiny and birdlike; I am tall and large bodied. When I was little I figured it must be good to be small, because then people want to take care of you help you, and hold you, protect you more.

    A classic example of this is that we both ended up with eating disorders. I went through mine first – for what was essentially obsessive-compulsive over eating. No one felt sorry for me. It was all my fault – “just” eat less, “just” be disciplined – never mind that it was not garden-variety overeating but fueled by all of the same control issues and mind monsters as anorexia.

    But when my sister later developed anorexia, the world stopped. Where as I had asked to go to a treatment center and was denied, my parents spent 10s of thousands of dollars sending her to one of the best in the country. Everyone stopped to ask how she felt, how this could have happened. They marveled at how much pain she must have felt to literally want to starve herself to death.

    My comparative and similar pain, where I just wanted to stuff myself away until I could not feel anymore, deserved no such listening or sympathy. No one asked about my pain – not once. My behavior was just a problem and a flaw and something to criticize.

    I finally “fixed myself” through reading books and lots of thinking things through. My sister got better much faster with all of that help.

    My sister is Virgo sun, lots of planets in cancer. I am Libra sun with Virgo rising, but I think it’s first house Pluto that makes me seem to loom so deceptively large. I am not that strong. I needed help. But what are you going to do?

    To this day it’s hard for me to feel empathy for small women or people who seem somehow delicate. I think – the world has helped you enough – opened enough doors, carried enough extra bags, reached for enough things off shelves, touched you more gently overall. For larger people – people larger in physical size as well as people who may be small but seem to have shoulders like mountains (like quite a few Capricorn suns I know) on which they carry the weight of the world, I reach out to them first and most; like – “I know you’re a mountain, but sometimes it’s just nice to have someone shoulder something with you – even if just for the company.”

  20. What a fantastic question to consider…

    I really like Kashmiri’s answer – “there’s no one I don’t feel sorry for.” I have an aunt and she is the definition of a good Catholic. When you get the whole Catholicisim thing right, I think it’s about love and heart and compassion. Among her prayers, she frequently prays, “Lord, let me see the suffering heart that you see.” Everyone has pain, everyone is doing the best they know how to transform it, and so everyone deserves compassion.

    The only way I can make sense of this crazy, mixed up world (where my problems truly don’t amount to a hill of beans…), why I’m here in front of a computer in a comfortable chair sipping coffee reading interesting websites and not cleaning toilets with nothing to eat and eight babies I have to take care of and leprosy and a husband who beats me and a mother-in-law who has enslaved me somewhere in the Asian subcontinent, is that we’ve all got problems, we’ve all got shit: but none of us ever have more than we can handle. Is this true? I will never really know. But for whatever reason, maybe it’s just to have a reason, I figure I’m just weaker in some way, and that whatever gifts I’ve been given are to be shared, to give some relief to all of us weary wanderers. “To whom much is given much is expected.”

    Compassion is taking on the suffering of others. There’s a song, “Nobody Wants to Hear Nobody’s Troubles,” and it’s catchy, but I don’t agree with it at all. Maybe it’s true – no body wants to HEAR anyone else’s shit. But it’s very important to share these things, so that they can be transformed and released. There’s nothing worse than thinking you’re all alone, that you’re the only one in a terrible mess and struggling. In this way, compassion is a bit of a two-way street. Perhaps those who garner compassion also actively allow the compassionate to enter their lives, to hear and see their troubles, allow room for others to be compassionate.

    Compassion also has a bit of the idea of identification wrapped up in it. Can we feel compassion for people or circumstances with which we don’t identify?

    How about compassion and the way it relates to whether or not we think we can effectively do anything to help? How hopeless we consider the situation to be? How hopeless/powerful do we consider our OWN selves to be in relieving the pain of others and changing their plight?

    In short, compassion involves a dissolution of the walls between people. Different in degree from sympathy, empathy – COMPASSION unites hearts in suffering (ultimately, we hope, to allow for some sort of transformation). We all suffer trials and woes. The particulars may be different, but the steps to the dance are eerily similar. And not a one of us really knows why. With compassion, I’m tempted to say that the notion of self dissolves, and that a greater self simply acts or does not act at an appropriate time (that can’t be planned or timed by a watch). You feel compassion or you don’t. You act on that feeling or you don’t. Compassion is so strong that it compels action. Why it does for some and not for others – well, … I’m left with a Deus-es-machina or, in other words, “God only knows.”

    Thanks for a great question.

  21. My sympathy tends to go to children, anyone discarded, discounted, disadgantage and trod upon. Rarely towards those who are privileged, lazy and don’t have to try very hard in life.

    Stephanie’s comment fits to a tee. People don’t feel compassion towards me either. I get a negative response no matter what, and at the end they think I “probably did something to deserve it”. Eventually, I begin to think the same too. Gemini rising, Cappy moon square Saturn in 4th.

  22. To be honest, I seem to have a conflict within me between those situations or people I feel I ought to feel compassion for and my instinctive, unexpected heart curdling angst for the out-of the-blue occurrences which catch me off guard. Capricorn rising Saturn first house, moon/neptune conjunct.

  23. Hmm, good question. Sun-Saturn conj in the 6th – generally no one feels sorry for me even if I’m bawling my eyes out (which is not often!). I’m expected to feel sorry for everyone else. An astrologer once put it down to my North Node in the 2nd house (and SN in the 8th) – i.e. needing to evolve towards self-reliance in this life. I figure I’m there already! 😛

  24. Oops! The question was who do I feel sorry for, not who feels sorry for me! 🙂

    Ah, I feel sorry for those in real pain and are struggling to make sense of their pain without making it someone else’s problem.

    Who I don’t feel sorry for – the converse. Those who make their woe-is-me story everyone else’s problem to deal with.

    Sun-Saturn, or Moon in Capricorn, hardline, I dunno.

  25. I only feel sorry for those people who are genuinely in pain–not people who think they deserve it. I see so much of that out there, it’s too much for me. I tell my husband, this is why the older I get, the less I want to do with people. Sounds awful, but it’s true…Aries rising. Get yerself out of yer own mess and STOP WHINING!

  26. I’m a virgo sun with aquarius rising and no one ever feels sorry for me. In situations where I’m not even involved, I get blamed! However I do not know where to look for this in my chart. Any suggestions?

  27. Oh, and me? Nobody’s ever felt sorry for me. I come off as a pretty arrogant SOB, with the Leo Sun, Mars conjunct it, Aries rising, and Jupiter exactly opposite that. I’m not used to anyone feeling sorry for me, and the couple of times people were, I felt…icky. I can’t find a better way to describe it!

    Besides the icky feeling, DON’T feel sorry for me; I have my share of problems, but there’s a lot that I feel grateful for. I may have a prickly exterior, but there’s a warm heart behind it.

  28. interesting elsa! i’m a capricorn rising with my sun in 28 degrees scorpio and my brother is a virgo rising with his sun in 29 degrees libra.. weird huh? we also share a venus in libra

  29. I am with Ebay and several others here on this post….nobody feels sorry for me because I am Leo rising and don’t show my pains…just keep smiling. I do have Venus in Pisces and I feel sorry for a few and feel bad for more. Some situations are just bad….and the poor soul had to start at ground negative zero! I have had quite abit on my shoulders, but I was blessed to have had an at least average start to life.
    I don’t like telling my sad stories because of that same feeling….that I do feel blessed or that the grace of God somehow hit me and I know my stories are only relative to me. I hear so many others that make me really, really sad.

  30. Neglected Children and the elderly.

    Sometimes I get sympathy and sometimes I don’t.
    mars in Leo 12th Neptune in scorpio 4th.

    real twisted stuff with mars and neptune…

    Virgo sun feels sympathy for those who can not see there problems or try to fix there problems with practical solutions..especially those who do not have the formal knowledge to understand why they are having something happen. And each individual is there for a reason. A case by case basis.

    Except for Crack heads and Herione addicts
    no sympathy for them…

    Virgo logic can not understand such awful addictions.

  31. No one feels sorry for me. More often than not people feel like I can handle anything, I get reassure that “I’ll live” or “get over it” regularly. To be totally honest I hate when people feel sorry for me, I detest pity. I’ll accept empathy but that’s it.

    Capricorn Sun/Rising and Venus/ Saturn/ Pluto in Scorpio 10th H squaring my Moon and Mercury might have something to do with it my reputation or my appearance of being tough enough or undeserving of sympathy.

    I regularly empathize with others but I pity no one, I wouldn’t want someone to pity me so I don’t do it to others. I don’t think it’s sympathy but I feel the need to defend and aid people who can’t help them selves. Mars Square my Ascendant makes me feel the need to take action weather or not I “feel” for the other person. If I know someone can use assistance in a certain area, I try to provide it for them, not strings attached.

    If they reject my help, that’s fine too. Since I’m not touchy feely in my effort to help, others can read me the wrong way and generally think I don’t care. My husband is one of the few who notices that I do care deeply and he reminds me that I need to communicate that to others. North Node in Gemini 6th H… it’s going to take some work for me to get there.

  32. I’ve stopped having any pity for those who do nothing to improve their own situations, and continue to drown in their own self-pity cycles as an excuse not to better their own lives (and I say this as a person who made the mistake of doing the same thing years ago, and it didn’t work for me). I don’t expect anyone, much less myself, to “just get over” whatever unfortunate circumstances they come across, but ultimately it’s up to people to work towards a better future for themselves. I used to be a big Smiths and Moz fan, but I now find Bjork’s music to be much more to my liking in the past few years or so, especially tracks like ‘Army of Me’.

    *Sag rising, North node and Midheaven in Libra, Pluto and Jupiter aspecting my Ascendant and Midheaven*

    As for me, I’m not sure if anyone ever has felt pity or sorrow for me. I’d hate it if they did, I never liked the idea of anyone pitying me.

  33. I hear you, Amy! People tend to see me as the shoulder to cry on (Cancer rising) no matter what their opinion of me is. So I get to hear a lot of sob stories. I really do still feel sorry to an extent, but after hearing the same crap over and over again and offering gentle advice that is totally obvious and being ignored, I get tired of being the shoulder. I don’t know if people feel sorry for me or not, mostly I get the jealousy vibe. I don’t know where jealousy comes from in a chart.

  34. “Lord, let me see the suffering heart that you see.”

    That’s beautiful. I am very compassionate and I try to be very understanding of others’ pain. Recently however, since Saturn went into Libra, I’ve discovered how wrong I’ve been about some people.
    As for attracting compassion, I’m not sure. I don’t put my problems out there for anyone to absorb – and I’m a proud Leo. But I don’t feel like people are particularly uncompassionate either. In the Rulership Book, you look to Leo and Neptune for Compassion. My Leo Sun is square my Neptune. I have a Cappy rising and a Gemini Moon.

  35. (((Althera))) I’m glad you’ve gotten better from your eating problems.

    C- Really well-written. I feel the same way. My problems are not so big.

    As for me, people tend to feel sorry for me when something goes wrong, especially if they don’t really know me because I look fairly young. It’s not fair, I know.

  36. Yeah. What c said. Nicely put.

    I tend to show compassion to the person I sense needs it most. It’s really an intuitive thing with me.

    I sit on my own little pity potty sometimes, then I go look at the Pulitzer Prize winning picture of 1994 by Kevin Carter, or watch Schindler’s List or Sophie’s Choice and get some perspective.

  37. reading your answer made me realize I do not
    aspect people to feel sorry for me nor would I want it (even when I could take some compassion)

    I do feel compassionate for others and I do realize very many people have miserable life, but unless I can do something concrete about it, I try to avoid thinking about it
    It hurts when the world is unfair or not equal (libra)

  38. I’m a late Pisces, so I’m too busy feeling sorry for everyone else to worry whether they feel sorry for me. But as I have Saturn in Cap/1st house and Sag rising, I could be at death’s door and no-one would notice, as I’d still be sending out the “I’m fine, dammit!” message to everyone I met.
    Having said that, ‘sorry’ is a word that needs picking apart a little – some people equate it with pity, others with understanding and comprehending others. Now, if anyone tries to pity me (doesn’t happen often, as I said), I’ll snap their heads off before they manage to whine “Ooh, poor you!” Understanding, on the other hand, true empathy, is something that I would walk a few miles for (as many others would, no doubt).
    Because Pity is looking down at you writhing on the floor; Understanding is looking you in the eye, person to person, and making that connection we could all do with much more often in life.

  39. i can feel compassion for anyone (awful people seem to be lacking an awareness of the value of things that make life worth living. they might not care, but i can see the lack. “so and so doesn’t have anyone who really matters to them. they don’t know what they’re missing. how sad.”)
    but i only feel sorry for people dealing with the kind of ugly heavy stuff few people can handle well.
    and, for kids, they don’t tend to have been trained or have acquired the skills they need to deal with what they often end up dealing with anyway, and that definitely earns my sympathy.

    but there’s a difference between feeling sorry for someone and giving too much.

  40. There seems to be a theme of Leos not showing their suffering. Yay to us Leos?
    Honestly, I think people always hide their deepest wounds. We’ll share the common stuff, but the soul-deep hurts we carry alone. Something my therapist said yesterday, so it’s interesting this came up on the rewind today…

    Nelly, I’ve got Leo sun (conjunct Saturn) trine Neptune so your rulership thing is interesting. I’ve never felt like I could burden anyone with my problems, and it’s very hard for me to let others see any of my pain. True compassion is both hard to come by and deal with, though amazingly healing at the same time. Pity, however… ugh. Seriously pisses me off. I’ll seethe. *laughs* What’s the square like?

  41. I do feel sorry for most anyone (I’ll leave out obvious exceptions of a criminal variety). I stand by that comment. However I don’t have an awful lot of emotion attached to that.

    “That’s too bad that person made such a bad choice.”

    There are many who don’t know me well who may be surprised to hear how deeply I feel for other people and the errors they make.

    I’ve had several things leveled at my consistently over the years: (1) I think my shit doesn’t smell (2) I’m no one’s doormat.

    While it’s true I’m no one’s doormat (good boundaries taught to me at a young age) I’m pretty sure my shit smells. I think my 1st House Capricorn Moon gives me the air that I’m unaffected at times.

  42. First let me say that I’m highly empathic. It’s a character trait that has been both a blessing and a curse. I believe that in the proper set of circumstances, I can expect exceptional compassion from family, co-workers and friends. I believe it’s about how you treat others with compassion and understanding that makes the difference. And how you don’t drain people out over problems that you can handle yourself–being too needy turns off people’s compassion. You can’t help everyone, but just opening your heart to a level of awareness is better that being apathetic.

  43. The square feels like I don’t want the whole world knowing my pain. So when there’s pain I withdraw, I escape and I hide (neptune). I need to work it through myself and outside ‘interference’ worsens the pain. I call it interference because that’s what it feels like, I know that people are only trying to show their support and compassion but if I’m in pain – leave me alone. The Leo part of me likes the world to see my good and happy side.
    SaDiablo, I don’t like to be pitied either and my Sun is trine Saturn and square my Neptune. I was referencing The Rulership Book by Rex E. Bills.

  44. My mother, a Libra with Scorpio rising and Leo Moon, is always saying she feels sorry for people — because it makes her feel superior. I, fishgirl, feel sorry for her for having to feel sorry… and so it goes on. Actually, it’s funny

    My partner, who has Jupiter in Pisces, is one of the most compassionate people I have met. He manages to be kind without being condescending.

  45. That’a something that got me thinking.It came easily to me the types that I DON’T feel any sort of compassion for.

    I would like to stress tht I am a virgo sun, aqurius rising and sag moon and I ‘ve always thought I am prone to feel empathy for others but some people just get me crazy.

    People that complain about their miserable life of suffering and pain, people that are always needy and confused, not capable of reaching a decisions and always need to bother others with their lack of objectivity, people that get back all the hurt (and I mean real hurt. As my mother says here done, here taken) they have done to the others, people that are nable to own their responsibility for their lives and want to not get the consequences of their behavior.

    Ont he other hand, mistreated and abandoned animals get my full empathy, people that don’t curl and cry and need a hand, people that “almost ” get there, but are beaten up by the cirscuntances, people whi are rebuilding their lives and all sorts of guys that have the guts to abandon a lifestyle of hurt and unhappiness to start all over again.

    regards guys,

    Syd

  46. I hope no one feels sorry for me. I complain alot but that’s just because that’s the way I am. I’d resent anyone feeling sorry for me for any reason.

    I tend not to feel sorry for people who are asking me to. It’s this expectations thing. If someone expects me to feel sorry for them I won’t. If they expect me to help them I won’t. If they don’t expect anything from me then I’m more likely to do it.

  47. Hi Elsa and everybody,

    I am Virgo with Leo rising. I love children so much that I can’t even hear them cry for candy. I feel sorry for people who suffer of a natural disaster, but not so much for individuals any more after being hit by Saturn. Was it Saturn or people? I can’t figure it out. Nobody ever feels sorry for me. I project confidence even in my deepest pain. But I am okay with it.

    Thank you Elsa, and all of you, for your thoughts.

  48. Well, I should say I am always surprised when someone shows me compassion. It literally fills me with tears.

    I think it is because I had a very un-compassionate mother. I know she loved me, but she used very harsh, Capricorn-like methods of showing it. There was zero coddling.

    But yes, fortunately, I have come across others who show me compassion, and I have to fight my embarrassment when it happens.

  49. Scorpio rising, sadge moon in hard aspect to Saturn and conjunct my mercury, neptune, sun and venus. I get a mixed bag compassion-wise. Those close to me are the people who are able to see through the scorpio rising and sadge optimism and who are compassionate with me, but not coddling. I hate coddling. I love advice though and do my best to welcome and really hear all of it.

    I try to be compassionate towards everyone, but I’m pretty sure that my version of compassion isn’t always welcome or popular. I am empathetic, historically too much so (Neptune in the first, conjunct my moon)and have learned not to take too much of other people’s negative energy on. That plus my impatience with folks who know how to address their issues but refuse to do it means there’s not a lot of sympathy to go around. Compassion? Sure. Sympathy? Not so much.

  50. This IS an interesting item. Elsa always appears capable and proactive, at least more so than I. She appears this way but when you really know her you see that she deserves compassion as much as the next person if not more so.
    It is not always good to be the person other’s feels sorry for either because people assume you are incapable and that may not be the case. People who feel compassion for you may take actions on your behalf that are not right for you as well.
    As Elsa says, it’s not to judge which is better, it’s just so…

  51. “People who feel compassion for you may take actions on your behalf that are not right for you as well.”

    @Annalisa, I have certainly experienced this as well. I think it is the Saturn Neptune signature – Compassion can be a burden!

    It’s like gal trying to help me not ruin my wedding with my energy, LOL. She was trying to help me?!?

    Same thing with the last gal who blew up on the boards here. She was “compassionately” trying to tell me what thoughts to have in my head and how to express them.”

    Sometimes compassion looks eerily similar to control or oppression and in my case, this is more often than not so as far as I am concerned you can be the one they feel sorry for, you poor thing. 😉

    I remember how pissed you were at these people, do you? You felt they were using you – feel sorry for you to avoid having to look at their own sorry lives.

    You really were disgusted.

  52. I agree about compassion. Sometimes “compassion” and “kindness” are just another way to control!!! I have seen it and am wary of those who give too much…

  53. I’ve seen a lot of loss through my job, people whose lives are forever changed by death and illness. I’ve developed a huge sense of compassion and sometimes I feel blessed to be spared.

    I don’t feel sorry for people who refuse to fend for themselves and live off society. I’m not talking temporary help (especially in these unemployed times) I mean permanent lifestyle. While I may feel sorry for their children, I don’t feel sorry for them.

    I know paralyzed people who have managed to find a way to make a living. So what’s their excuse?

  54. I feel sorry for more people than I should have. I heard a story about a man convicted to three life sentences for two murders and as the prosecution and victim’s family kept calling him a ‘monster’ I felt sorry for his soul. I thought what if this man who obviously made a real bad choice believes he is a monster all his life (he was crying at some point) and then when he dies he condemns himself to a hellish experience. I feel sorry for anyone and Moon is Pisces will tell you why. However if you’ve wronged me I will forgive you but it will take time. Being Catholic also supports my world view. I feel empathetic for people at the drop of hat, too much actually but I don’t mind as long as they don’t take advantage of me. Being Moon in Pisces, I don’t soak energies that much probably because I have alot of air in my chart but it doesn’t stop me from trying to help the situation or sympathizing. I especially grieve for children but I overall sympathy should be constructive and should change the situation for the better. For instance, donating to a cause out of a sympathy is a good thing rather than saying ‘I feel so sorry for them’ and not doing anything about it. Just my two cents.

  55. Sun in Tauro, neptune in MC scorpio
    no body respect me, ha ha ha XD
    my key word is “resistencia”,
    i feel sorry for stupid-violent people

    saludos¡¡ from México

  56. No one feels sorry for me. But I usually feel sorry for everyone else.
    Sag rising with Libra Sun and Moon. Saturn in Pisces opposite Uranus/Pluto conjunction with Virgo midheaven.
    Most people see me as happy, confident and secure. Which tends to piss some people off. Bosses tend to be threatened and insecure, sometimes attacking for no reason. I work hard at my career and give it my all. Could do without the unneeded attacks from the control freaks though.

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