Narrow, like the gal who contacts me every 18 months or so. She wants me to talk about her mother (and mine).
I like the gal. She’s kind. She moves me. I’ve tried to build more of a connection with her but she’s not interested. She wants to come and go which is something I can understand.
There is another gal who contacts me at about the same interval. She pings when she’s terribly desperate (or super-hopeful. Both states are extremes, see? Both states are outside her norm.
She’s gives me the impression she’s talking while she can, until she goes back to her norm. But for all I know, she talks to me to get back to her norm!
I guess these people may be interacting with my hologram, though I know these people in real life. One thing’s for sure, they don’t want to deal with the whole of me.
I realize now, very few people want to deal with the whole of me, which made me ask if I would like to deal with the whole of others. Actually, I would.
I would like to deal with the whole of others, but there are limitations that prevent it. For one thing, close relationships with men are out. I’m married! I’m just not going to be able to hang around and get to know a man in any way that is even remotely intimate. But knowing women is hard too. Because of time! My time or theirs.
I’m lucky to have had very close relationships in my life. I lack this now, having just moved. I miss my Woman’s Club women and our four-hour long lunches. We were all invested at that time.
I am forming relationships here, which is one of the reasons I’m thinking about this. I have a few contacts here, they like to text. I don’t like to text, but I am doing it anyway because I like the people. But I guess I realize I should consider what these people want. They want to text…
And that’s okay. I enjoy it. But it’s not the same as a friend who’ll look you in the face, drive out of their way to see you and such. Put their money down, basically. Invest it in you.
I don’t mind being available for people who aren’t available for me. It’s a service, isn’t it? And I need to serve or else. But we’re not really friends, are we? I’m starting to see this.
Are there people you contact in certain circumstances or for a certain purpose, but otherwise ignore?