What Are The Best Aspects In Synastry?

handheld-relationshipToday I was asked what I consider the “best” aspects in synastry between a couple. So, here goes.

Nothing beats someone’s Venus on your Moon. This is the mooshy-squooshy aspect– yes, that is technical jargon, feel free to use it. You just GET each other. Venus is bottom-line value system, Moon is your bottom-line emotional needs. So the couple just look at each other and know what the other one wants and needs. Who doesn’t like that? If the conjunction is somehow assisted by a nice aspect from any outer planet, so much the better. Here’s the caveat, however. If you happen to have a Moon/Uranus square or opposition, and someone’s Venus comes along and parks on your Moon, you will have an “opportunity” to learn a lesson about your “come closer/get away” emotional needs. Because Uranus does not move quickly in transit, chances are your potential beloved has Uranus close to the same degree as you, which would mean they have a Venus/Uranus aspect. So the lesson is mutual. Level of consciousness really is the defining point here.

Ok, next… Mars/Sun. If you are the “feminine” person in your relationship, having your partner’s Mars in positive aspect to your Sun is really FUN. Your partner’s Mars enlivens your Sun. It Jazzes it up. You have an inspired idea, their Mars knows how to implement it, be your cheerleader and get your motor running. Someone’s Mars on your Sun can be your “perfect” man, or so it seems.

Same caveat. Look at the aspects. They can mitigate heavily.

Next: Uranus trine Venus. I like this better than Jupiter trine Venus, which can lead to an excess of laziness, albeit you’ll never know because you’re too busy eating the chocolates your partner is stuffing in your face. But Uranus has the invigorating, fresh, spontaneous SNAP that keeps the electricity alive in a relationship. You just think they’re COOL. It can take an otherwise heavy Saturnian relationship and turn that Saturn into just solid commitment because Uranus trine Venus will always make sure there’s fun on the table. Overly Saturnian relationships can be just about duty, but if you’ve got nice Uranus trines and sextiles, the duty is absolutely NOT drudgery.

And, of course I can’t forget about Mars and Venus. If you are the feminine one in the relationship, look at what his Mars is doing to your Venus. Trines and sextiles are HAWT, but the square is usually difficult because the timing is off… like you’re washing dishes and he thinks it’s sexy to grab your breasts from behind– because what can you do? You’ve got your hands in the dishwater and can’t smack them away. And that IRRITATES you because, well, dishwashing is NOT sexytime for you.

And lastly I’ll talk about Mercury. Difficult Mercury aspects can be overcome if people are willing to realize that the other person’s filter is hearing things that you are not necessarily saying. Compatible Mercuries usually don’t have this problem, you talk the same language. Because communication is, obviously, extremely important, I always focus on the aspects and signs of two people’s Mercuries to facilitate a discussion of how each person communicates. Example: you’ve got earth Mercury, your new lover has air Mercury. He loves to sit and yak and plan and you are wondering WHAT sentence you should focus on because he is just ALL over the place…. frustration grows….

You’re probably wondering why I haven’t mentioned Neptune. It’s because if you don’t have some of this other stuff, all Neptune will do is make you not care, because this is your soul mate, you see? Except… usually NOT.

Have questions about your relationship?

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What Are The Best Aspects In Synastry? — 24 Comments

  1. I have Mars trine Sun and Mercury. Jupiter trine Pluto and square Mars. Sun and Mercury square Neptune. Mars sextile Saturn. Saturn sextile Sun and Mercury.

  2. Venus with the moon, Venus with Mars, and Mars with the sun… I had been wondering about these for a couple years and you just explained it! Amazing! Thank you 🙂

  3. I’ve never felt anything romantic for people whose aspects conjoin my Venus or Moon. Those conjunctions belong to my really good friends, instead. But I find that any of the inner luminaries in the other’s 8th house or 5th house is hot, hot, HOT. You never forget them and the passion never dies, no matter how long you haven’t seen each other.

  4. this is perfect! I agree venus to moon, and mars to sun aspect. I also have found generational Neptune to be very telling. but mars to sun is really fun and really does liven me up everyday. I prefer sextile than trine or conjunct. the latter feels family/platonic.

  5. From my experience and what I’ve seen, there are two other powerful aspects for couples as well as for friendships: Sun-Moon (conjunct or harmonious) and Sun-Jupiter.

  6. Ha, I think my ex partner and I have the Mars/Sun – we sure kbew how to go on trips and have fun. When we were at home though…. no thank you. Hands off my breasts, please!! I’m doing the dishes!

    Yes, something about that timing… and Saturn on my moon – eek!! Heavy duty does not even begin to describe it. In my 8th house??! How long do I have to wait for things to happen, here!!? Your fears and limitations limit and dampens my sex drive. No thank you!! Gawd, I got so annoyer by this triple Taurus who was directly opposite my sun-venus stellium in Scorpio. Oppositions anyone??? Lots of them. In everything!

    His Pisces Venus could not save the day, in the end we split up because he was all about being a teenager. NOT cool in a 30 something….

  7. I have Cap Mars, hubby is Cap Venus. There are power struggles for sure. It’s best when I lead. But sometimes I want him to “Be the Man”. We both have Air moons but he’s not a typical Gemini moon. Someone squashed the curiosity and adventure out of him at an early age. He has mars in Sag which is my 7th house. He Loves me more and he knows it. I guess I need that. Overall it’s compatible.

    • I am single but I would also rather be with a man who loves me more than I love him. I have Cap Venus and Aquarius rising and prefer to be mildly detached in most of my dealings.

  8. Thanks, Diane. That’s kinda what I thought, but doubted, because actions based in prejudices, from the one shares a Venus Moon crisscross with me.
    Thanks for shining a flashlight, while I’m exploring possibilities, with that person. 🙂

  9. PS The gender-neutral of my comment was intentional, because, I know from talking with people: queer or straight, relationships are challenging. ::one love, y’all::

  10. I totally agree about Moon/Venus conjunction. My husband’s Moon and Venus in Leo conjuncts my Moon in Leo. We understand each other on such a deep level and we are very romantic with each other. 😊

    Generally speaking I really like trines between the man’s Sun and woman’s Moon, and between the man’s Mars and woman’s Venus in synastry charts.

  11. Dear Elsa,

    can moon trine venus (max. 2-3 degree orb) be also strong enough? And what do you think about grand trines that consist venus-moon-pluto. We have this aspect with my boyfriend, it’s a double-whammy, and also featured in our composite chart.

    • I personally would think moon/venus/pluto grand trine would be lovely, as long as you’re not someone who shies away from very passionate, deep relationships.

  12. Dear Diane,

    thank you for your thoughts, that sounds fascinating! I guess I’m not faint-hearted when it comes to passion, my Pluto aspects both my Sun and Moon (0 and 2 degrees orb respectively) But in the past I had quite painful lessons with relatioships in which Pluto was involved, so I hope this time, he’ll help me, instead of making me obsessed with the “wrong guy”. 🙂

  13. Thank You for highlighting this highly romantic and I would argue common marriage aspect! I’ve been searching the web endlessly to find someone who had written about this. I started to notice something in many many marriages I personally know: the man’s Venus conjunction the woman’s moon (not necessarily if the genders are reversed, though). I think the man’s Venus loves the woman’s emotional nature and how she emotionally reacts to life and his feelings; how he expresses love(Venus) mirrors (conjunction) how she expresses emotions (moon). I’ve noticed conjunctions more than trines, definitely more than opposites and squares. I know 7,yes SEVEN,couples in my life with this aspect.

    I think Moon- Mars aspects are too rough and overbearing, the flame burns itself out, sometimes violently. Both parties end up feeling burnt. Venus conjunct moon brings emotional harmony and long term happiness, while Mars-Moon brings short term intensity.

    I once dated a guy who’s moon conjuncted my sun, my Mars conjuncted his Venus and his Mars conjuncted my moon- it was torrid indeed, but he dumped me for the girl who’s moon conjuncted his Venus. They were married last year after only a year of dating. They have no other connections in their chart except his Venus conjunct her moon and they seem blissfully happy. It’s an incredibly powerful aspect astrologers need to start including in all their synasty predictions.

    The second aspect I’ve found to predict marriage is a woman’s Venus conjunct a man’s Sun.

    The third, constantly overlooked and very common in lots of marriages I personally know, is Mars Conjunct Mars (if you wanted celebrity examples think Justin Trudeau and his wife; Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson). Mars is so so important because it shows where we put our energy, how we expend our energy, what and who we find sexy,how we have sex and how we fight. When both people are expending their energy the same way, find the same things sexy and express their sexuality with the same love language, that’s a recipe for long term love. Also they fight similarly, so even when fighting they can understand the other side’s way of fighting.

    People think astrology is a fixed thing. It is not. Don’t just recite what Susan Miller told you or regurgitate what another famous website told you. It is based on the people around you and your observations of people. When people find new connections, we as an astrology community, can’t just default what’s already been written as scripture, we must forge new assumptions, only with these new insights can astrology become its most precise.

    Thank You again for making this Moon-Venus observation. You are seeing a wonderful and important connection. I hope other astrologers follow your lead.

    • Well, thanks, JamesCagney. Appreciate it. I agree about Moon Mars but I tell you, if Venus is expressing a Man’s love nature on a Woman’s Moon, her Mars on his Sun is the equal hot equation. Mars in a woman’s chart signifies her “dream man” and when it falls on a Man’s Sun, you have a match-made-in-heaven kind of situation going there.
      Now, because I’m a fussy Virgo, I have to throw in the usual caveat!! ASPECTS TELL THE FINAL TALE!!! For instance, I have a really poopy (yes, that’s an official astrological term) Moon– it’s the apex of a t-square between Uranus and Chiron, AND it’s in the 7th house. So if some guy’s Venus comes trotting along and sits on my Moon, it’s most likely not gonna feel so good, unless his idea of a perfect woman is someone who is terrified of abandonment (Moon in Scorp) AND is known for the pre-emptive strike (yes, I can cop to all that). But if your Moon and his Sun are decently aspected, or if they do have hard aspects but at least some MITIGATING aspects, and his Venus and your Mars meet up with said Moon/Sun, then, well…. I don’t think I’ll see you for a few weeks, if yanno what I mean!!!

  14. I’m surprised that Venus conjunct Moon is seen as the best aspect in synastry here. I wondered about this question for quite a long time and found many different answers (on different astrology websites and in astrology books, never by experience), but Venus conjunct Moon wasn’t among it. In my case it would be double great due to my Moon trine Mars.
    .
    A positive aspect of a female Sun with my Mars would again be double great in my case due to my Moon trine Mars. Especially if the Sun is conjunct my Moon. Can please somebody teach that to Ariana Grande? Her Sun is in the right position and her Mars square my Sun.
    .
    Uranus trine Venus seems imbalanced to me. Shouldn’t Uranus always try to go away and break with every relationship, while Venus tries to save the relationship? Although or even because the Uranus side could be hit harder here?
    .
    Then I’m also surprised that there are still women, who wash dishes? Must be quite old people here. My DC in Virgo could find dishwashing sexy, but this isn’t my experience yet. Perhaps only the clean dishes?
    .
    Mercury is the more important, the further the distance. We can only show our Mercuries online, other factors like Moon or Venus will hardly be sensed. So better all be prepared that meeting in real will be different from meeting online.
    .
    Neptune of course, why do some people see it as romantic? Neptune prepares the disappointment. This is for what Neptune is there. (The part, which I wrote about Ariana Grande some lines above, wasn’t so serious because her Neptune is conjunct my North Node and this is a huge warning sign.)
    .
    How about asteroids, kentaurs, midpoints, and Lilith? Has anybody considered them?

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