Voice Of Saturn: Compensating For Your Shortcomings – For Example, Your Ugliness

beauty-beast.jpgThe soldier has Saturn (impediment, work) in aspect to Mars (hunting) and Mercury (talk) and it sounds like this:

“A man has got to do a lot to overcome the way he looks and get a woman,” the soldier said. “It’s all kinds of work.”

“You really think that?”

“Hell yes. You’ve got to bust your ass to get over what you really look like and see something like… glistening teeth when she looks at you.”

I stared for a moment. “I don’t recall your doing a lot of work to get me.”

“The hell I didn’t.  I called you all the time.”

“Yeah. 20 times a day! But I thought if was because you liked to talk to me,” I said.

“I do like to talk to you but it’s still work. I have to come up with all kinds of sweet things to tell you,” he explained.

“I thought you felt that stuff.”

“I do feel that stuff but I still have to work to find ways to tell you.”

“I see.”

“Yeah, it’s a pain in the ass but when you look like I do you have no choice.”

“You look good.”

“P, I have you tricked.”

I think it’s interesting, his consciousness of this. Everything is so deliberate and while I don’t think it is unusual, I do think his awareness and willingness to articulate this kind of admission in exceedingly rare.

Do you consciously try to compensate for what you feel is a shortcoming in relationship?

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Voice Of Saturn: Compensating For Your Shortcomings – For Example, Your Ugliness — 11 Comments

  1. Yes. In my ongoing battle in being present in my relationship with my SO –in both body and mind–[Neptune trine Venus trine Saturn].
    I feel like this is my shortcoming. Sometimes when I am consciously trying to listen to him, I’m being fraudulent. As though if I were present, I wouldn’t need to try so hard to listen!

    However, he does have 6 planets in his 6th House–can anyone appreciate how much minutia comes out of the man’s mouth? It’s hard for a 12th House Neptune, man! lol

  2. Great illustration! I thought about this for awhile, and as hard as they try, which we all do, love is blind, for me anyways as a heavily sag girl. So as long as there are no major flaws, actually i would probably look right over those too. Oh well. The only thing i can say in reguards to this is that if you do things right in the begining, Look presentable, likly i will not see it later if they stop trying as hard.

  3. Dang. I think his willingness to articulate it is pretty rare, too. He thinks he’s got you tricked but doesn’t he know that personality forms a lot of how people “appear” in our minds? Any guy who is that blunt and still knows how to communicate with women is aces in my book… and there aren’t a lot of men like that.

    I think I’m always trying to overcome this feeling that I’m not really worth being with– probably just a side effect of having dated men my own age for the past ten years– and my current relationship has really helped me overcome that. One of my exes came back on the scene recently and even though the chemistry was overwhelming, I had a new set of priorities and made the better decision to stick with my current guy. He makes me feel worth being with and I think that is something I deserve to feel. 🙂

  4. I’d say the soldier’s compensation for his insecurity about his appearance is choosing a very pretty lady (based on the photo that accompanies your blog).
    I’m new to this saga. but I’m catching up. I know a little bit about soldiers myself. My Dad was one (U.S. Army, 82nd Airborne Div. Fort Bragg, N.C.). So were my two brothers (Navy and Air Force), and now my Virgo nephew is off to Iraq on Nov. 1 for the Army. My Mom’s dad was Coast Guard. The only branch of the military not represented in my family is the Marines. I’m not sure we’re tough enough for that. Anyway, thanks for keeping us all connected, Elsa!

  5. oh, quite, but i’m constantly trying to figure out what’s me and what’s projections people have thrown at me that i’ve decided to wear and it’s a headache. i picked up a lot of inaccurate impressions of myself from people who just wanted to hurt me. or didn’t understand a thing about me.
    it drives me mad that i actually believe some of this stuff still, and then someone says something that totally refutes it and i realize they’re right and i wonder why i’ve been beating myself up for so long over something that wasn’t even accurate.

  6. This may be a stupid question, but I know there are placements for beauty…are there placements for ugly?

  7. I have hard issues to overcome surrounding control and abandonment fears. I know I can spin up and become a “pill” so in the rational times I try extra hard to be flexible, self-aware, un-attached… knowing at some point I’m going to need some forgiveness: I want to have some stored up in the “bank.”

  8. heh heh Drea. That just sounds funny. I know there is a certain standard for good looking, but also, there is variety too. Some people like one style, some like another…for some reason I developed a thing for men who wear glasses.

    I don’t know if it’s because they look more intellectual in glasses (to twist another recent theme),or just for no reason. I mean, there is a reason. I see it in old photos.

    The man I grew up loving the most, my uncle, always wore these big thick black framed glasses. Also, I spent a lot of time, growing up, with two sets of grandparents, so both grandfathers wore glasses. My own father, who was a mean tyrant SOB until the day he died [at age 44]did not wear glasses.

    I also like the looks of bald men. Don’t laugh, it’s true. Must be the grandfather thing. Yep, I find younger bald men who wear glasses to be totally hot.

    So, to try to address your question…maybe you could look at specific variables. Depends on what you like. I have heard that Leo can be connected with hair loss. Poor eyesight requiring glasses…maybe, what, 2nd house? Aries? I am not sure.

    My ex husband was gorgeous with a combination of Jupiter and the south node of the moon in his first house, Cancer rising, and, interestingly, Saturn in the 7th house (which would mean it aspects the first house, obv). Extremely handsome, beautiful smile without ever having worn braces!

    Now I have a great smile but wore braces for 3 years (I think that is linked to the 2nd house.)

    Make sense?

  9. And now to answer your question, Elsa!

    I would say, yes!

    I have discovered that being a fantabulous sexual partner seems to make up for so many shortcomings that I have, which are countless in number ;-). (Sun/Merc in the 2nd house opposite Saturn in the 8th).

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