Venus In The Natal Chart Shows How You Love

venus vintageI explained to a young, male client, how the gal he’s interested in have different views on love and relationship.

“There are people out there who say they married their best friend,” I said. The girl he likes has Venus in Aquarius. “That’s how they see their husband. I hear this all the time. They married their best friend and they’re happy with it. It’s what they want.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes and people are individuals. They see relationships in different lights. If the two of you married, she’d see you as her best friend. You would see her as an asset. A possession, even. I don’t mean that in a bad way. I mean that you’d see your wife as something of value.”

My client has Venus in Taurus with Pluto in Scorpio involved. He did not deny this.

“These things are not incompatible. I’m just telling you that she’s not you and she’s not going to see things the way you do. She wants to marry her friend,and if you ask me, you’re him.”

How do you view love and partnering? Where’s your Venus?

Related


Comments

Venus In The Natal Chart Shows How You Love — 72 Comments

  1. As an unconditional act of devotion, submission and service to my Man. Venus in Virgo, trine Neptune.
    I was stoked when while doing research for my BA thesis I stumbled upon an article that explained the “ethos” of women in Indian epic tales using these very concepts. Those Indian Wives of ancient Epic stories were endlessly devoted to their husbands. I find this empowering beyond belief (in regards to my personal story, that is).

    • I also have Venus in Virgo, conjunct Mercury in the 6th house. I am NOT into servicing my man. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I should be a devoted caretaker but I just get resentful if a man starts expecting things like DINNER, or a clean house, etc. etc.
      I have read stuff on the language of love, and I do think it’s one of the most important things to discuss with people who consult and astrologer. That and the function of their Mercury because if you can’t talk about stuff, you’re pretty much in trouble. But if one person shows love by mowing your lawn, and the other person thinks love comes in a little blue box with something gold inside, then there’s going to be problems. You can’t underestimate the importance of what people value… and I don’t think it can be changed much. If I love someone I want to help him (not do it by myself…. HELP him) and if a man wants to stand there and just watch while I paint the walls, I am not going to be loving him for long. I don’t care how many little blue boxes he buys me.

      • dog8818, I get quite hurt and upset too if I notice the person in question is taking advantage of me because of my drive to service. The fact that I can’t help this, doesn’t mean someone should feel entitled to step over me. So in a way I can see where you come from.

      • well isn’t virgo in the “fall” as far as venus goes? you give up quickly because he isn’t doing his part — such as you mentioning that he isn’t helping you with the painting the walls. You don’t care how many blue boxes of presents he gives you. It sounds like you need equality in a relationship, maybe it’s something else in your chart.

        • Venus in Virgo conjunct pluto & uranus. 11th house. Oh I love alright & serve. But how I get bored of the everyday. I love to love a lot. I can fall in love every month if necessary.and yes I married a friend.my best friend. I’m not unfaithful just secretly curious.

  2. Venus in Libra (romance, balance, beauty) with VIrgo Sun (service) here, married to Venus in Taurus (what you said above). It’s interesting because I always thought his Venus was in another sign, then just double-checked because of what you wrote, and had to laugh, nod and say, “Yup – wow.”

  3. Jupiter (4), Moon (7) and Venus (9) stellium in Libra on the door to the 12th house. Once I love it’s unconditional, I think. I need a real partner, someone to philosophize with, laugh with, care for–make a home for and with..have kids with. Traditional but equal. My husband has Venus in Pisces in his seventh house and a Moon in Capricorn in the fifth. We fit together–28 years and have always spent a lot of time together; not all couples like to to do that.

  4. I have Venus in Libra in my 4th house. I am a devoted partner but I also want an equal. I believe in presenting myself as a whole person to any potential partner, not someone who is sitting around waiting for someone to fill in her gaps.

  5. Just dawned on me, that Venus in Aquarius and Venus in Taurus in the post above describe my parents’ placements. Both Venuses were influenced by Pluto in Leo. Their marriage ended up in tatters, but perhaps it could have been saved with some awareness.

    • My mom and birth father have the same Venus signs as yours! Wow. Mom got bored with my Taurus Venus, Cancer Sun father–she has a huge stellium in Aquarius including Venus. For her, a partner has to be intellectually exciting, and keep her on her toes. Challenge her beliefs and make her THINK. My stepdad gets along with her very well, partly for this reason.

  6. very Cool Venus is conjunct Saturn in the 10th house in Scorpio in my natal chart. Upon reading this it explains a lot of why my two previous marriages didn’t work.

  7. my husband and I both have venus in taurus..mine 11th house and his 10 th house..he is a cancer and I am cancer asc…we love to eat and have a very comfortable house and decorate to our liking…but because we are both cancers…we but heads about how to decorate and who has to take second place…in most situations, we agree whoever has the most $ at the time wins.money equals power in this house…it flows to each of us at different times.

  8. I have a difficult love life with my Venus Cancer in 10th. I act more like a mother than a lover to men. I seem to deal with older men that act like children in which I have to put in effort to make sure they are doing something with their lives and going on the right life path. A lover is not suppose to be responsible to make sure a grown man gets his life in order. I nag at my lovers to make sure they go to the doctor regularly for a check-up, take their vitamins, eat 3 wholesome meals a day, make sure they buy new underwear because their current ones have holes in them. Only mothers do that! I also love me a sexy boss where I can be the nice nurturing secretary to provide a cup of tea through stressful times or if I’m lucky, give a nice back massage. I am happiest to just be single and raise a house full of children. Elsa, I need to take that Love course you have.

  9. Venus in aquarius in my 7th house. I don’t know whether I see my husband as my best friend. He is much more than that to me. It is a soul deep relationship, we have each other’s back. We want each other to be happy. We respect our spouses’ individuality, and we chose this relationship. We insist on them respecting our individuality. No chance of losing ourselves in a relationship. My husband has his venus in gemini in his 11th house. He wants beauty and brains.

  10. For me, Venus is in Capricorn (9th) square Pluto in Libra (6th). I found an old note on my phone that says “the passivity of abuse is attractive to me. to receive focused attention, one only needs to endure.” Yikes, don’t tell mother! But for me, and probably others, some truth is in there. True doesn’t mean right or good, just what is. It’s not like I want to want so much darkness!

    • Thanks, Elsa! Wouldn’t have said anything if not for your post about witholding from a couple of weeks back. Romantic love can be confusing and painful in so many different ways. Realizing that something in me actually wants to be mistreated was a big, mean surprise. Allowing myself to be honest about it feels like a step in the right direction. Admitting it just now, I feel a little relieved, and less ashamed. Thanks for the push, it just took some time to sink in.
      Hopefully your friend can get his Venus-Pluto issues working in a positive way. It sounds like he wants more control than she is willing to give. The nice thing about being involved with someone you don’t control, though, is that you don’t have to question their motivation for being with you. If she’s with him, it’s because she genuinely wants to!

  11. I have Venus in Aquarius (as a matter of fact, I have a stellium in my 6H in AQ). I most definatly do NOT want a “friend” for a husband (I’m currently single). When I’m in a relationship that really doesn’t have any sort of “passion” or intensity, I’m just not there. My Moon is in Libra, my MC is in Taurus and my Neptune is in Scorpio.

    • Well, this girl does. She’s told him, about a million times. But he hears ‘friend” and thinks “friend zone”. I was trying to get him to see that people use words differently. They’re individuals.

      So that you have Venus in Aquarius and have different ideas, is not a surprise. 🙂

      • Hello everybody!

        I tried to post a comment to this post but the internet God said: “duplicated comment detected”

        No…
        Why?! Why don’t u love me?

        Let’s see if with this nice little intro the spam filter won’t maim my comment.

        Let’s try to do this by parts… Just to see…

        Here it goes:

        Venus in Aquarius here. And also Mars. And Uranus conjunct Sagittarius Mercury.

        Well… I’ve always wanted a friend too, for a partner. Even when I was 12, I remember wanting a boyfriend but only if he could be my bestest friend, and we could confide in each other about everything, and sometimes just be buddies (I also remember thinking that kind of guy didn’t seem to exist in boys that age – and according to what was around me – or any age).

        But it just doesn’t follow (for me) that just because I want a friend for lover, it doesn’t mean that I don’t want that lover; that partner, to be a real lover. To be a passionate lover, and a person that I am sexually and romanticaly passionated about. That there isn’t chemistry, sparks, intensity, loads of emotions. Someone I very much desire physicaly (that I yearn for his skin…
        lol), and my heart aches for him. It just means (for me) that I want that person to be, ALSO, a friend. Idealy he would become my best-friend.

        Also I prefer starting relationships where we are friends 1st, but that doesn’t mean, that there isn’t sexual chemistry there, it just means for me: “Man if u like me that much, can’t u at least take the time to know me? A little? Aren’t u interested in me as a person also? The way I think? No? Then maybe u don’t like me that much to care… Or the way u do, isn’t the way I prefer to be liked/valued, because it’s partial, and so this relationship most likely would also be partial, and because of that, unsatisfying, and… boring.”

        But also, just because I’m best-friends with a guy, doesn’t mean I’m gonna start to want him in any other way, besides friendship. If the rest isn’t there, sexual attraction, and stuff alike, nope, friends it’s all we’re ever gonna be.

        To finish this up (and it has become pretty long, oh man! I rant and ramble… yea… sorry…), I’d like to say, that besides this Venus/Mars combo in Aqua, I also have Scorpio Moon/Pluto/MC, all conjunct, descendant in Cancer (yap, Cap Rising), Venus/Pluto square, Sun/Neptune conjunct in the 12th. That might explain why “just friends” simply doesn’t cut it, but “also friends” it’s almost essencial, that is; if I want to be truly fullfilled.

        PS – Man, I happen to say “also” a lot… lol sorry…

  12. Venus in Aquarius. Yes I want a lover to really want to know me; to be my friend. Engage my brain for heaven’s sake; that’s sexy.

  13. 10th Venus in Cancer conjunct mercury, trine 3rd pluto in scorpio, etc, etc. I love hard and I stay loyal and committed. I take it seriously and I value having a partner that enhances me mentally and socially. My last person degraded me in public and that was my last straw. Downside to my commitment is I always hang on for too long. I don’t want anyone up on a pedastal but I need to be with someone who makes me feel elevated with him.

    I didn’t realize how seriously I take it until recently but I can’t do flings, I can’t even really flirt well with someone if I know they’re seriously interested in me and I’m not interested in them.

    I want a true partnership and friendship – 4th house sag moon, I want to know that we can withstand anything when difficulties come along and passion wanes.

  14. I have Venus in Scorpio in 8th. Well, security, honesty, loyalty. Being strong when intense emotions are present. Crazy, deeply, in love. Body language, singing with eyes. Gentleness in deep.
    My venus just wants serious, sometimes rough play. The mutual understanding of “we belong together”. Something that’s not easy described in words, like some strong
    energetic pull. Like sharing a dream of mutual fate. A man who is not affraid of me to be his woman.

    • Me too. Venus in scorpio in the 2nd house and somehow the loves of my lives are also venus in scorpio. I want to possess and be possessed with intensity. And it’s incredible when my partner wants the same thing and isn’t afraid to do that dance. Unfortunately, I am learning in my current relationship that it is a dangerous dance.

    • Me too in 2nd
      I think we also want someone who has assets and is responsible moneywise. Dont have to be rich but knows value.
      So yes. Everything you two said is true.

  15. Venus in Aires in the 9th trine Moon in Leo in the 1st. I connect quickly, when I want something, I want it; the gates fly open (Aires impulsivity haha). But I have mutual reception with Mars Taurus in the 10th and this gives me staying power. A semi-square to my Pisces Sun in the 8th, sesqui-quadrate to Neptune in the 4th and an opposition to Uranus in Libra in the 3rd means that I am always oscillating…between coming on too strong and giving space; between knowing & doubting. This tension makes me advance (Aires) and retreat (Pisces/Neptune) in some kind of dance. I need someone who is stable and regular in his own way to feel most comfortable; instability may be spicy to some, it just makes my Aires Venus bring out her quiver of arrows and start firing (loose conjunction to Eris in Aires!). But I hope I make up in passion what I sometimes lack in patience. My Aires/Moon thing also can make me a little me-centric in relationship; on vulnerable days I take things a bit personally and get hot under the collar. Had to work on this a lot in this lifetime! Thank goodness for that Mars Taurus holding me down! I have good staying power, but I will be quivering internally during my show of loyalty.

  16. Venus conjunct Mars in Leo. Square a Scorpio ASC. I know when a relationship will drop jaws as we enter a room together, and that’s exactly the sustaining power of relationship that guages whether it’s working and part of what I want. These conjunct the MC, so my relationships are always part of my (and the others’) public life. Potential relationships that require too much private space lose their appeal, despite their intriguing intensity. Spontaneous laughter and creativity on an intimate level required!

  17. I love this post. I read it right after seeing, “I married my best friend 20 years ago today” on FB. She has Venus in Gemini, and her husband has a stellium in Aquarius, including Venus. It is perfect for them, and their bond makes my heart sing.

    I have Venus in Taurus, and your post made me think about choices I’ve made over the years and where I am now. You’re absolutely right. Now, I am more conscious about who would be a liability versus an asset. I will absolutely not accept or embrace someone who would be a liability in any way. Unfortunately, our dating pool here is full of men who would subtract from my life in some way rather than adding to it. That is the reason why I’ve been voluntarily celibate for three years. Are they worth the investment, even short-term? No? Then skip it. It’s that simple now.

    Thank you for making the asset/liability concept clear. It hadn’t been articulated in my head until now.

  18. Venus in Cancer along with a stellium of Sun, Moon, Mercury, Pluto, and Saturn in Leo. I’ve always been thankful for my watery Venus to douse some of my intense fire. Yes, I can be intense in many different ways. My loving is sweet and tender but I also like a lot of fun and chatter with that sweet and tender. My guy has Aries Sun/Aquarius Moon/Pisces Venus. Oh, yes, we have some fun. Truthfully, I have evolved as a lover–thankfully. A former lover was very angry with me for being too nurturing. I didn’t understand it then but do now. Balance, Grasshopper.

  19. Venus in Aquarius here. And also Mars. And Uranus conjunct Sagittarius Mercury.

    Well… I’ve always wanted a friend too, for a partner. Even when I was 12, I remember wanting a boyfriend but only if he could be my bestest friend, and we could confide in each other about everything, and sometimes just be buddies (I also remember thinking that kind of guy didn’t seem to exist in boys that age – and according to what was around me – or any age).

    But it just doesn’t follow (for me) that just because I want a friend for lover, it doesn’t mean that I don’t want that lover; that partner, to be a real lover. To be a passionate lover, and a person that I am sexually and romanticaly passionated about. That there isn’t chemistry, sparks, intensity, loads of emotions. Someone I very much desire physicaly (that I yearn for his skin…
    lol), and my heart aches for him. It just means (for me) that I want that person to be, ALSO, a friend. Idealy he would become my best-friend.

    Also I prefer starting relationships where we are friends 1st, but that doesn’t mean, that there isn’t sexual chemistry there, it just means for me: “Man if u like me that much, can’t u at least take the time to know me? A little? Aren’t u interested in me as a person also? The way I think? No? Then maybe u don’t like me that much to care… Or the way u do, isn’t the way I prefer to be liked/valued, because it’s partial, and so this relationship most likely would also be partial, and because of that, unsatisfying, and… boring.”

    But also, just because I’m best-friends with a guy, doesn’t mean I’m gonna start to want him in any other way, besides friendship. If the rest isn’t there, sexual attraction, and stuff alike, nope, friends it’s all we’re ever gonna be.

    To finish this up (and it has become pretty long, oh man! I rant and ramble… yea… sorry…), I’d like to say, that besides this Venus/Mars combo in Aqua, I also have Scorpio Moon/Pluto/MC, all conjunct, descendant in Cancer (yap, Cap Rising), Venus/Pluto square, Sun/Neptune conjunct in the 12th. That might explain why “just friends” simply doesn’t cut it, but “also friends” it’s almost essencial, that is; if I want to be truly fullfilled.

    PS – Man, I happen to say “also” a lot… lol sorry…

  20. I have Venus in Sagittarius in the 12th. I haven’t had any secret or otherwise extramarital affairs. I do require a certain amount of freedom in a relationship. My Husband is a career soldier it works well with my Sag Venus. (I do not have Uranus in contact with Venus—reference to another blog entry here).
    My Husband has Venus in cancer. Yup, he loves the mother archetype. 🙂
    My moon is in Taurus 5th house—I mother my lovers.

    We make a very happy couple. 🙂

  21. Taurus sun in the 5th, I have Venus in Gemini conjunct Mars in Cancer in the 7th opp my Sag Ascendent. Talk with/to me, not at me. Reader of Books. Bright, Intelligent, Witty. Share ideas, beliefs, thoughts, etc. I want to hear and know that I am loved. Touch is very important to me – hold my hand, sit on the couch reading books or watching movie with feet/legs, or hand/arms touching. I will lavish attention on you as you are the source of much that is important in my life. I want a thoughtful,sensual and romantic life partner who is my friend and companion, an intelligent equal. Had this for 15 years. Husband became secretive, stopped talking with me, and when he did talk he cussed. Lovins no longer a source of happiness, enjoyment and connection. Getting divorced.

  22. Venus in Taurus…actually, I do have a tendency to be possessive, though not psycho with it. He is both an asset & someone worthy of sharing my assets with…sharing is a big deal for me. 😉

  23. I have Venus is Taurus too, 7H 🙂 I am definitely possessive by nature, and partnership seems inevitable and necessary to me. I am very practical about love, more about being assets to each other than about feeling swooping romantic feelings. Touch is very nice, of course, and smell. My husband is a Leo Venus and poor thing is a hopeless romantic. He is extremely generous and open hearted. We’re finally starting to accept that I will surreptitiously show affection, and he will lavish it, but that there is devotion beneath it all, and that’s going to be ok for us. It’s taken 13 years to come to that agreement, both of us metaphorically bruised for it lol (Aries and Leo suns battled it out)

  24. In relationships of any kind its all or nothing. I am going to put my heart and soul into it and so are you if you want to go the distance with me. Watery passion in a comfortable home where I will cook for you and love you forever because if I love you, you are my family. But don’t break my heart because I will never forgive you or forget it.

    Venus in Scorpio in the 4th

    • I love your post. I used to be just like you describe but decided I didn’t want to hold on to the unforgiveness anymore. I wanted to be free so I let things go.

  25. My sweetie has Venus in Capricorn. I’m Venus in Scorpio. I want to hear “I love you” several times a day. She is more likely to say, “I married you, didn’t I?” It helps to know where someone is coming from. : )

  26. Venus in Gemini in 9th and conjunct MC. I want to help a man achieve his goals. Love is building a philosophy together through deep conversations. Picking each other’s mind. Then translating it into some kind of action. Love is someone who wants a future with me. Love is a good time and enjoying life, exploring it together.

  27. I am the true romantist of the heart and soul. Have always looked for the eccentric knight in shining armor with a heart of integrity. I would expect nothing more or less of my knight! I have Venus conjunct Uranus and North Node in Leo in the 5the house and a Capricorn Moon conjunct my Midheaven and my Saturn Jupiter conjunction. Yep it’s a hard road I chose this time around. Thank God for my planets in the fun and romantic 5th house to help the dark times. MY KNIGHT IS MY GREATEST GIFT ALONG WITH MY CHILDREN!!!

  28. I read that having an 8th house Lilith placement like I do indicates it’s likely you’ll attract a partner who views you as a possession. I don’t know if my Venus in Cap modifies or intensifies that tendency. All I can say is if you’re going to view me as a possession, I had better be a well cared-for one.

  29. Venus in Leo… I want to marry my lion KING! And I want to be his queen. With Jupiter in Aquarius in the 7th and my Virgo Sun, I’d like for us to be a generous queen and king surrounded by all different types of people from all walks of life, helping, hosting and giving… but with respect to my Scorpio moon. I’ll probably need to retreat from everything every once in a while. I’m really hoping for a natural ease and mutual respect. I hope we make each other shine, most of the time.

  30. I have Venus in Virgo on the cusp of the 12th square to Uranus in Sag and Moon and Chiron in Gemini. I also have the ruler of my 7th house in the 11th. I’ve always thought of my ideal love as a soul connection based on true friendship and great sex. I want my lover to be my best friend, confidante, partner in crime, the person I can talk to about anything who truly listens and understands me, and who also gives me amazing orgasms. Communication is part of it so needless to say I can’t be with those silent types. I’m also a little mothering because of the Moon aspect. I fuss over people like crazy (what did you eat today? How are you feeling today? Tell me about your day and spare no details) I show my love through acts of service and also with words mostly. If you love me, I need you to be there for me when I need help, to listen to my problems and help me if you can.

  31. Venus in Aquarius here.

    As I have sun in pisces and neptune aspecting sun and moon, I am extremely romantic and idealistic – beyond reality.

    So I always dreamed with a perfect man who would say the right thing and do the right thing…in my phantasies, of course, which I controlled and created. Neptune.

    Got mars trine venus and sun square mars, with mars in the 8th and moon in the 8th…so sexy aspects and 8th house intensity in love…

    Yep…but guess what? I am marrying one of my closest friends (didn’t start as friends; he’s become one of my closest ones since the relationship)

    So one of venus in aquarius’s scenarios of ‘marrying one’s best friend’ is, despite my wishing differently (sexy aspects, neptune dreaming), true in my case.

    • I just remembered me as a teenager telling my friends I wanted my triangle: friend, lover, companion.

      So venus in aquarius! It’s always been there – just wanted to avoid it for so long!

  32. One of the greatest thing about my marriage is mine and my husbands love natures are very similar. He’s got a Sag Venus conjunct Neptune and sextile Pluto/Saturn/Jupiter and I have Venus in Aries H9 (Sag flavor) trine Neptune and opp. Pluto/Saturn. Our Venus’ also trine. We are the couple who live to cuddle with each other. If other people heard how we baby talk and sweet talk on a regular basis they would puke.

  33. I have a Venus in Libra in the 8th… I love in a transformative way. My ex husband’s vas in Scorpio in the second and he cared about how it appeared, even though I know he loved deeply. He was a cop and then a prosecutor and my artsy weirdo vibe wasn’t very appropriate for a potential future judge. Now I’m with a cancer Venus and that’s my mars and he’s SO n esty and sensitive. I come across cold. I don’t mean to-he’s a watery gemini. I just don’t emote as well.

  34. Venus in Capricorn here. I like that my husband is brilliant in his field, is a good provider, provides us with security, and would NEVER do anything reckless with our savings or possessions.

    He has Venus in Gemini so I guess he must like my Aquarius sun (as far as what his Venus would be looking for).

  35. I have natal Venus in Sag,pretty close to natal Sun. So yes I want a partner who is a good friend. However moon is in Scorpio so I need an intense connection. Still working on finding that partner?

  36. I’m not really sure as I have never been in a real relationship yet 🙁

    But my Venus is in 8th house. Aries. Conj n.node and Jupiter.

    Aspects to:
    Neptune
    Saturn
    Pluto
    Mc gemini.

    My amatour take on this (both friendships and partner) is that:

    I see relationships as a building. The building methaphore (SATURN) , I wanna build a steady relationship. A building that will need tremendous work from both sides. I will use the best materials ever. I will sacrifice without batting an eye working on this building (NEPTUNE). I will sacrifice so much, and I crave the same from my partner. Together we need to be a team.

    I also need a partner that is a friend. That is friendly and outgoing, intelligent, loves to travel(jupiter). But also a reserved serious guy (Saturn).

    I need a super super compassionate man, to me and to those in needs, like animals. with high EQ, who is religious, spiritual and is in good contact with soul matters and God (Neptune).

    Also, I need to feel I own him. I can’t help it. I have to feel like he has given himself, his heart and soul to (fisrt God) and then to me. I wan’t him to give in to me. No power struggles. (8th house and Pluto-venus)

    So well thats my humble take on this.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *