Hi Elsa,
I have unrequited love for my closest friend, who *says* he’s not interested, but sometimes *acts* interested (affectionate and kind of flirty). I keep trying to ignore my own feelings, but that is not working very well! I’m not happy with the situation, and sometimes think I should just quit being around him at all for my own peace of mind. Yet, he’s a really good friend and I value that.
I keep hoping he’ll either realize how great I am OR I’ll get over how I feel. But so far, neither has happened. Any advice?
Unrequited Love
Dear Love,
This Gemini man is not interested interested. He’s interested in flirting… what Gemini isn’t? So let’s just clear that up. If you want more from him, you’re not going to get it.
Now what you do about this is up to you. You can carry on as is, with your Venus Neptune conjunction wishing and hoping for some kind of miracle. Alternately you’re a double Capricorn and you can certainly opt to end this friendship. Acting as a Capricorn “Boss”, you can FIRE this guy as a friend.
But there is third option that I think would serve you (and him) best. What if you decide to embrace the reality of this situation and learn from it? For example, you tend to pine for the unattainable. And you tend to deprive yourself of a real relationship that satisfies. And having this guy in your life demonstrates this brilliantly. But you like him! And he’s not doing anything wrong.
So how about this. How about you leave him right where he is, doing exactly what he does… and how about you strive to grow off him? For example, say you wake up in the morning dreaming he’ll change. At that point, step in and police yourself. Like this: “Here I go, starting my pining. It’s amazing how I do this. It’s interesting but what can I do instead? How can I be more productive?”
See what I mean? Take this path and pretty soon, this guy can flirt with you, and you can enjoy it. Because you do enjoy it. But you don’t need to be hanging your hopes on him.
Instead you can be a gal looking for serious relationship who happens to have a flirty Gemini friend. A friend who is not in the running, as far as partnership goes…
Good luck.
~~
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I already thought of that. I’ve been telling myself it’s unproductive for two years. It’s not working. At all. And I’m pretty darn pragmatic.
Also already thought of distancing myself from him, and gave it serious thought. Might still do it, but it’s a pretty sorry return for the kind of friend he has been…especially since I needed his support most of that time, but now he needs mine. I definitely won’t do that until his present problems are over, and then…we’ll see.