The Libra Curse – Indecision

Hi Elsa,

There was a time when I was very happy with my man. I could see us being together until we grew old. Well time went on, and he ended up cheating on me. Not once, not even twice, but three times!

Ever since then, things have not been the same. I say I’ve forgiven him, but I don’t feel the same about him or us. It’s been a few years since he first cheated, and I’m utterly miserable. I don’t leave now for the same reasons I didn’t leave then: I’m comfortable where I am.

I do still love him, just not like before. Most of all, I’m scared. I’m so fearful of what will happen if I go out on my own that it paralyzes me into staying in a relationship that is essentially over. And it’s not just over on my side, either. He’s not as affectionate or loving as he used to be. He throws himself into work and I hardly see him at all.

It’s gotten so bad, that the unthinkable has happened. I’ve gone and found myself someone who is willing to give me all the attention and affection that I need/crave/desire. But now, on top of everything else, I am riddled with guilt over what I am doing.

How can I get out of this rut?

Help!
Stuck

Dear Stuck,

You’ll get out the minute you decide to get out. Yours is a problem of indecision – the Libra curse! You can’t decide whether to be in, or to get out. I can’t decide for you, but perhaps I can tweak your perspective enough to help you find your way.

You think you’re caught between two poles. Do you stay, or do you go? But really, there are three places to be. You can also be in the middle, which is where you are now. How do you like it? Because you can stay right where you are. Forever!

This reminds me of an old Gary Larson cartoon. There’s a picture of a guy in a boat in the middle of an otherwise deserted lake. He’s sitting there looking completely perplexed.

“Fish? Or cut bait? Fish? Or cut bait? Fish? Or cut bait?”

Is that guy going to spend his whole life asking that question or is he going to pick a side? And what about you?

It’s perfectly acceptable to be an indecisive person. You can embrace this as a lifestyle. You can watch the people around you choose left or choose right while you stay in that boat with your question.

If you don’t like this idea, then pick a side! Stay or go and rest assured, whichever you choose, your indecision will reconstitute. Because this is your nature. “Should I have gone, or should I have stayed?”

Libra struggles to make decisions. That doesn’t mean it has to it disable you.

Good luck.

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Comments

The Libra Curse – Indecision — 14 Comments

  1. Not a Libra but I’ve got Mercury in Libra. A lot of times I don’t say what truly needs to be said because I don’t want to rock the boat or hurt feelings. What helps me break through is to imagine what’s on the other side of a decision. How would life turn out if I went ahead and took a stand. It’s easier if a person has an idea of how and where they’ll land when they take a jump. Visualize the outcome you want and then act on that. Good luck.

  2. There are plenty of things she can do. She can go out swinging with her husband. She can have an open consensual poly with her lover and husband. She could recognize that not every man is cut out for 50 years of monogamy, but that doesn’t mean they don’t want a committed marriage. In short, time to grow up, and reinvent the marriage.

    • Poly, now? With the guy who’s betrayed her trust three times??? That horse is already out of the barn. The trust bridge is burned. Maybe poly with someone new, Stuck! Say so long to the cheater and find someone else. Have the important conversations before you get in too deep. Luck to you, Stuck. xoxo

  3. I have a stellium in Libra 5 planets total including my Sun conj Jupiter. BUT this stellium in in my 10th house my Mars is in Capricorn. I may waffel while I am mulling details but when it comes time for it I can make decisions. My Libra Mars man on the other hand is all to comfortable sitting on a fence.

  4. I’m an Aquarius who just started getting more in depth in astrology and found out that I am Libra rising. It explains so much about me and the things that I never felt truly “fit” as an Aquarius sun. This indecision question hits home in a major way!

    • i’m the same aqua sun libra rising have a hard time picking sides as i don’t want to offend but I have an aries moon and I will offend when I get mad.

  5. Stuck, what do you have in Scorpio? Anything? We Libra suns, maybe there’s some energy next door in Scorpio? Moon, or maybe Mars? Pluto in Scorpio? Use ’em if you’ve got ’em. I have no mercy for people who treat me badly. Scorpio moon. Cut the emotional and energetic cord. BAM. Gone.

  6. Pack up his junk and change the locks you will do fine month by month you will figure it out trust me I am 18 months ahead of you in the process ;38 year bad marriage don’t be me. A leopard doesn’t change his spots we stop noticing them.

  7. Well, I have heaps of planets in Libra, and too suffer from this curse… Since I get a little sick of being stuck for too long (and believe me, I get stuck for a lot longer than I should) – I’ve decided to use the help of the good old coin. When im really unsure about something I ask the coin, and do a little prayer at the same time, asking it to please assist me with a decision that will help my highest good. I think ANY decision will help with your highest good, I mean… how many bloody years do you want to spend asking yourself IF you should do something or not…
    So, I find that the benefit of the coin is that you have to respect the decision… so whatever the coin says goes. If it says stay or go, you do it and never think of it again! that’s the deal. if you decide to stay, you stay and shut up about it.
    Admittedly, I have gone against the coin on a major decision once… but ah well, at least I did something, instead of sit there in my head about what the hell to do!
    Once I broke up with someone because the coin agreed! best decision I ever made, that relationship was doomed.
    Another time I asked the coin if I should continue studying a course I wasn’t sure about, and it said no. I didn’t do it and then a couple of months later I found a teacher to teach me one on one 🙂

    so… I don’t know, but I think it helps a bit. nowadays, when I really know what I want the answer to be, I don’t dare ask the coin… just in case it says no hahaha

  8. I think its our perfectionism that paralyzes us. I have a mentor who always tells me “you cant get it wrong”. It takes the pressure off of the decision making process, to know that whatever decision I make, things will work out. And things generally work out for Libras, if we dont agonize about life.

  9. I am a 8H Libra Sun, 8H Virgo Mercury, and Aquarius ASC. I excessively mull over a decision then act thanks to my Gemini Mars trine.

  10. My husband is a Libra Sun and we’ve been married over 40 years. He just tortures himself mulling over decisions that shouldn’t be that hard to make, IMO. I have Libra rising, so I can relate to what he goes through, but my Sagittarius Sun has to act. Many times, I am his motivator.

  11. I think many times being stuck or being indecisive is because our culture sees things in binary. Two choices are available. Only two. Stay or go. What we really need is to make a list 5 choices, 10 choices, make some absurd, make some funny, make some magical. Like you meet a fairy godmother who magically makes him love you again the way you wanted. Then ask how does this make me feel? Is this a choice i would actually make? Getting past those binary options of stay or go often helps me make a decsion i can actually move on. “Pluto in libra” talkin’ lol

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