“There is no way I will ever be in that club,” the soldier said regarding the club my ex-boyfriends have and they do have one. “I don’t care what happens between me and you, I will not join that club.”
I stared. “I know that.”
“I may go to one meeting,” he said, shocking me.
“You’re going to go to a meeting with them?” I was stupefied. He knows how I feel about my club. I have no idea why these men decide they are going to best friends with each other when they break up with me but it happens and it happens routinely. “You’re going to a meeting with them?”
“Just one,” he said. “I will just go that one meeting just so I can kick everyone’s ass that I have threatened to kick. I’ll say hi, I’m the soldier. Hi solider. Ive met Elsa when she was 17. Known her longer than anyone here except for Scott, I guess. Hi Scott, everyone will say.”
“Oh brother,” I said rolling my eyes. “Now why would you do that? Why do you want to hang out with my ex-boyfriends and husbands who hang out with each other until the end of time for reasons I’d rather not speculate?”
“I am not going to hang out with them. I said I would go to just the first meeting and that’s it.”
“I don’t know, P. I’d figure I got nothing out of this, may as well get an ass-kicking out of it.”
I just stared.
Later he told me he thought I was The Little Match Girl. As always I didn’t know the story and I think all this can be chocked up to Neptune and perhaps the 8th house. It’s as if I am an entity I don’t even understand.
Do other people’s perceptions of you more or less match your own?
Illustration by Ariel Padilla of Bluepen
Not at all. I see myself as completely dedicated and involved and everyone sees me as detached and uninterested. Sucks.
My ex-girlfriends started a similar club. There is nothing like walking into a venue and finding 3 or 4 standing together by a pool table chatting it up as they all turn in unison to stare as I walk through the door.
“Do other people’s perceptions of you more or less match your own?”
Not really. And, in truth, they probably shouldn’t.
I am so grateful and lucky to have been spared the club… none of my exes know each other or hang in the same circles, so whew! I can’t imagine!!! That would drive me crazy!
To tell you the truth, I have no idea what other people think of me. It’s a mystery. As long as I don’t get any negative feedback, and I seldom do, I figure they think I’m swell. Maybe they’re just being nice… But as far as specifics, as in “She is _________ and is a lot like __________,” no clue whatsoever.
I have friends who have clubs…I find it funny (but disturbingingly so).
I have ex-lovers but not really ex-boyfriends…well only two important ones but one is in Ireland and one in Germany, which is very convenient for me actually.
I have Scorpio/Uranus smack dab on my Midheaven so god only knows what people see.
I have more people express surprise by a side of me they don’t expect, eg:
-when I express insecurity and they ‘thought I had the world by a string’
-or I go to a tanning bed for depression and they ‘thought I wasn’t the type’ [what, to be a trashy mall girl?]
-or I claim reality is relative and they thought ‘I had my feet on the ground’
On and on it goes. I guess it is Uranus. But I don’t like to hem myself into much, so I guess that explains how I seem to continually surprise people??
No clubs for me! But my enemies and former friends tend to come together out of mutual hatred of me. Strangely, this doesn’t bother me like it used to.
What people see in me largely depends on their preconceived notions. By and large,though, they see me as much more passionate and moody and angry than I really am. Those who get to know me figure out that they couldn’t have been more wrong.
Nope. People tell me that I always have it together, everything under control, never upset – but I feel the opposite! I take advantage of this “appearance” at work, but that’s the only place it is useful. I wish others some me as being less in control, and treated me softer/more tenderly in my personal life.
Both of my exes hate eachother so I guess I should be thankful.
i’ve stopped asking. people say the weirdest stuff.
nothing like the exes trying to give the present ones “advice.” you can imagine how well that turned out : P
one of my exes has a good eye. i’m decent friends with a couple of the other exes. (there’s reasons why there’s a collection of them, though….)
you might think that there’s a certain odd kind of commonality the between the people a person chooses to date…. something they’re choosing for, that may or may not be obvious.
hope it’s not actually an “i * elsa club” though. that would be kind of… ridiculous.
It’s all connected with Pluto, 8th house, Scorpio.
I know this becos I investigated this kind of phenomenon.