The 8th House In Synastry

anonymoushermit started an interesting conversation in the forum: People Who Fall In Your 8th House And You In Theirs

This is a great question and hard to answer.

I have a packed 8th house. I encounter a lot of people due to my job! I can definitely feel it when I work with someone whose planets land on top mine in my 8th house.

Invariably, there is a powerful exchange. Positive. However, if I were around them all the time,I can easily see how we’d unnerve each other.

This might be due to the emphasis on my 8th, natally. It’s as if it’s my territory. You can get in there and poke around a bit but if you stay too long and poke too much, eventually I’m going to throw some kind of edge up.

My reaction smacks of the Taurus/Scorpio axis. It’s a possessive, self-protective response.

Offline, I identify people with their Sun or Moon in my 8th. I tend to like them and trust them. I appreciate them, I like to talk to them, I cooperate with them and but I also tend to keep them on the periphery.

I don’t mean this is in a bad way.  It’s just a fact. When I’m going out of my way to spend time with someone; inviting them over or meeting them for lunch or something like that, it’s generally not with someone who lives in my 8th house.  I feel smothered.

It’s like someone planting their seeds in my garden.  Don’t do that! Look at my garden from some kind of angle; or perhaps I’ll take you on a guided tour. But you’re not going to post up in there all day or all night or for a week or two.  My skin crawls, thinking about it.

What are your experiences in this realm?

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The 8th House In Synastry — 21 Comments

  1. Yes. I just posted on that thread about my sons Sun/Saturn falling in my eighth house. I do feel smothered at times, but i also feel compelled (if there was a stronger word to use, i would), to fulfill this contract. Even if i wanted to blow off my responsibilities as a mother, i dont think i could. Circumstances would never allow it. Thats how its beyond choice.

  2. Hmmm. Thinking about it. I have a Venus Taurus eighth house supposed to rule my Libra ascendant conjunct my Libra moon in 12th and others in a stellium in the first. I am foremost thinking about my mother – Taurus sun. With my Cancer mercury sun definitely a powerful impact. Smothered doesn’t quite cover it but is in there!

  3. I relate to this from the Scorpio-Taurus axis angle. I’m the Scorpio and Taurus is the extreme. I’ve learned what that means for me but only through experience and travail, over time.

  4. Both of my sons and my mothers moons falls in my 8th. lol Oh boy, do we go around sometimes. But, the love is there. Hell or high water. Deep bond. Hard to believe both of my children’s moons fall there. And my mother too?

    My 4 planet Stellium falls into my husbands 8th house. We have been together for years and its rare we fight or argue…. Last night we were laughing about something that came around….I said, can you believe that was 30 years ago? He said …time flies. I said, what do you make of it? 30 years…his answer, a true love story.

    Them though ^^^ with their moons in my 8th? Oh, we go around. Mostly because I cant get them OFF me. All three of them are constantly telling me what I need to do or what I should do! My love for them is unconditional though. Never ending. Fierce. I would kill for any one of the three of them. And, they would do the same for me. There is the deepest bond. No way to disconnect. We get angry and go off and lick our wounds, but even if we are angry at each other….no body else better be. Its the strangest thing…. I don’t know what to make of it. Its glue.

    My sweet Granddaughters moon falls in my 4th on my Stellium. I love her as much as some and more than anyone else. I’ve heard it called the reincarnation ancestral bond. I feel like I have loved her for a 1000 lifetimes. And, she cries to live with us. Her emotional nature linked to my emotional nature. Glue. I wouldn’t be shocked it someone told me she is my precious grandmother reincarnated. We are each others favorite. Deep soul connection.

    Once someone teaches you this stuff you understand that there are no mistakes..

  5. My 8th house, Taurus, is empty, but I have 4 planets in Scorpio in my 2nd. My sisters, brother, Mom and Mother-in-Law are all Taurus Sun or Moon that fall in my 8th house. Those relationships are actually quite positive for me and I think they’re mutually beneficial.

    My Scorpio planets can bog me down at times and the Taurus people in my life offer me a totally different, lighter and practical perspective on things. It helps me. I think I offer them a depth of perspective that they might not ever think of. Its a symbiotic relationship.

    My husband has 3 Scorpio planets and we’re like two peas in a pod. We can blend. I think it works because its a husband/wife relationship. I have several Scorpio friends, but we have a more distant relationship.

  6. My 8th house is ruled by Aquarius/Uranus and is 2/3rds in Pisces. It’s an empty house.

    Scorpio is empty (except for black moon Lilith) and rules my 5th/Sun.

    Pluto is in aspect to all my planets & angles, save Saturn.

    I read/feel that as I like a lot of space in regards to my 8th and the transforming I’ll be doing in this lifetime.

  7. My daughter’s. 5 planet stellium in Sag falls in my eighth. Funny you should bring this up. I was just thinking how Iove her but really feel karmically smothered. Like I owe her a lot but somehow it will never be enough. She’s grown now but I still feel this. We are different sides of the country and I worry and want to be near her but I fear it too. It’s a tough one. Saturn is in my eighth. Oui!

    • Saturn is in my 8th as well, Ann. Along with Mars with a 7th House Pluto. The smothering is a familiar feeling that I am learning to adapt to as I age. Those planets square my Scorpio planets, including my Sun. The lessons are lifetime ones.

  8. Haha, thanks for the name mention.

    I’m sure I have shadows and some people can see it, but I can’t. Some of them are obvious, and I can see them.

    I have Libra rising, Taurus is my 8th house. With people in my 8th house, I start criticizing them, shadow-Virgo style. Kinda makes sense, since Virgo is in my 12th house. But then they criticize me too. It’s a circle of criticism.

  9. This is an interesting post. Sun & Mercury S D in Cancer in my H8 opp Saturn Rx Capricorn H2. I have always found Capricorns to look down on me (especially the ex-brother in law – arrogance is the only descriptor suitable for that car salesman) & those with Cancer angles to me, haven’t been that nice either.
    I actually wonder if it has something to do with rays from the H1.

  10. My Mars, Moon, Venus falls into my husband’s 8th house. The connection was immediate and intense. And we’ve been together for eons. But omg —there’s moments when it is incredibly stifling. My Moon and Venus are in Gemini that likes to breathe and it can’t do that in Scorpio/8th house territory. He has an air moon too so we both need and allow each other space.

    As for prior 8th house connections, I can’t say I’ve had many (most people are drawn to my 3rd & 10th houses) but the few experiences I’ve had where somebody’s planets fell in my 8th were certainly magnetic and memorable but simultaneously unnerving and repulsive. And I do mean — repulsive. I’m not comfortable in the 8th because mine is unoccupied save for my south Node and a couple of asteroids. I’m not okay being seen through like an X-ray machine. 😆

  11. Wow.. I use Campanus housing….hope that is not an issue. But I looked to see, and yes, people whom I prefer to never ‘get in bed with’ energetically…meaning I set up boundaries galore….found one man whose sun is ‘in my 8th house’ synastry speaking. I’d like to explore this further. I looked at my late father’s synastry with mine…and he has sun, pluto, mercury retro, Lilith, and the moon is right at the end of the 7th house on the cusp of 7/8 house…..and his presence almost felt like he was energetically raping me…not in a sexual way, but I just felt completely disrespected when it came to boundaries! And yes I definitely felt smothered by my father. Unfortunate for him, because he loved me dearly. And I love him as well, but a relationship of daddy and daughter couldn’t happen…looks like this is in part explanation of that.

    • Elsa, question: Why is it that when a person’s sun, mer or ve or other planet falls into my 8th house….they tend to ‘be drawn to me,’ sometimes to the point of obsession? As in they want to be my friend dearly, or they have some sort of devotion to me. I’m not just talking about me, but a person in general. But I have experienced this case.

      And as you mentioned, you deal with people who have sun or other planets in your 8th house. Should these people be considered ‘clients’ and never brought into friendship territory ? Just for protection of energetic boundaries . What I have noticed is these people tend to drain me, or it’s almost like a needy child who needs their mom to give them attention and love.

      • and I say all this with respect but also observation.
        I noticed that for some strangers I meet, they seem to ‘set up borders’…so it’s possible my sun resides in their 8th house! I try at all times to keep awareness and absolutely respect other’s boundaries, especially because I have experienced people disrespecting my own (seems like if they have sun in my 8th house is when they can tend to disrespect my boundary or overstep it).

      • Hi, Marlene. I outlined my personal experience and it sounds like you’re also aware of a pattern. Consciously or otherwise, you’ll probably make some kind of adjustment.

        Personally, I don’t have some terrible experience. I just have so little time. I mean, I can manage to go to lunch with someone once a month, maybe twice. I want that time to be fun or enriching in some way.

        I’m just careful who I bring close in these days because I’ve learned I can’t sustain the relationships.

        https://www.elsaelsa.com/astrology/living-on-the-fringe-of-society/

        It may not always be this way, but it’s this way now. 🙂

        • Thanks, Elsa! I fully resonate with your line of thought. And Henry 🙂

          Aquarius moon, Taurus Sun, Sagittarius Rising here… <3 Politics are going down….maybe when Pluto is in Aquarius?

          From one soul in respect to a beautiful soul….

  12. The attraction/repulsion(or uneasiness) definitely shows up in the 8th placements near my Neptune and Jupiter there. How can I handle the big passions and ideas they ignite in me? They blow my comfort zone to smithereens even though I invited them in! Oh boy.

  13. I have no planets in the 8th, and the cusp is the last degree of Scorpio (Pluto in 6th). Other than a brief childhood friend and a friend I have now, I have had few contacts with people with planets in Sag. Don’t know why, but that’s the way it is.

    My (platonic) friend has Sun/Saturn in Sag, moon in Cap plus Venus/Pluto in Scorpio so she has a depth unlike the stereotypical Sag. We have another layer to communication (energetically) and share an interest in psychology and esoteric subjects, which we discuss at length.

  14. I will begin to look at this as I took have a huge stellium of Leo planets, Sun, Pluto, Venus and mercury retrograde, south node, vertex and Lilith in my 8th. At 40 I found my soul lineage and calling as a Shaman after being in Real Estate definitely 8th house cookie here.
    What I find is that I attract clients that also have a loaded 8th house and I assist them in working with it. They are all intense people.
    My daughter is last degree cancer on my 8th cusp and a few early Leo planets. We are alike, appreciate one another, and occasionally explosive. Humm.

  15. This is a great thread. Some fascinating thoughts.. please can anyone enlighten on what it means when my Uranus is in my boyfriends 8th house and his Uranus is in my 8th house?

    Thank you.

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