Here’s a bold claim: if you pay attention the first time two people meet, the whole relationship can be told. The energy between the two people mixes that fast. My husband and I are a good example. We’re very fast…and hot.
I met my husband and talked to him for about ten minutes. I left and then sent my roommate to invite him to dinner, ten minutes later.
Two hours after that he was at my apartment for our date. We were eating dinner; ten minutes after that I got pissed off and kicked him out of the apartment.
He was leaving but five minutes, I changed my mind (Libra). Ten minutes after that, we went to bed.
In the morning we woke up and he asked me if I would be his girlfriend. I said yes. He went back to the base and came back later that day to see his girlfriend.
He was going to show me his motorcycle and I was a hothead 17 year old with a mouth like you would not believe. I came down from my apartment to stand next the bike and promptly started lecturing him. I just started yelling at him, all sex nothing but sex. Because I just didn’t get a Mars Mercury mouth, right? I was born with it so I sounded like this:
â€˜What do you think? You think you are going to put some girl on that thing and she is going to have an orgasm? Is that what you think? You think she is going to cum from the vibrations?”
My voice was raised of course and my voice carries so he was just standing there mesmerized and agog. Never heard anything like it in his life. And since there was no response, I got back on it.
“Well that’s not going to happen and you’re stupid if you think it will! Why are men so stupid? Women don’t cum from that! Women don’t get off riding horses either. I bet you think that too!”
“No I don’t think that. I never thought anything like that in my life and I don’t know why you would think that I would think something like in the first place. So look,” he said indicating the saddle of the motorcycle. “Do you want to get on here and go for a ride with me or not?”
Realizing I did want to ride on that bike, I climbed on, he climbed on, I grabbed him around the waist and we took off happily. And right there, the pattern set the night before was cemented and it remains to this day.
To this day I get some idea and start yelling about it while he stares, memorized and struggling to understand. I talk in plain language so I don’t know what the problem is but it always resolves when he asks what I want to do. “So do you want me to leave or do you want to go to bed, get on the bike, go to dinner, come here with me, go there…?” And realizing I do want to do the thing, I stop yelling and do it and we go off in total agreement.
It is very Anne of Green Gables now that I think of it. She doesn’t make much sense either.
Can you see and patterns in your relationships that constellated almost immediately?