Attracted To A Co-worker: Double Aquarius Woman, Aquarius Man

aquarius pinup

Hi Elsa,

For the past few months, I have been interested in a co-worker who is an Aquarius. We have become friends at work and have hung out a few times with other co-workers outside of work. We pretty much understand each other and have fun just talking and playing. I notice a lot of coincidences and synchronicities with him… like when I’m walking and thinking of him and then we run into each other, or like how I’m writing this at home and he just im’d me (and we’ve only ever im’d at work).

He usually comes by my office to chat a few times a day and he will IM and email me all day. I am not good at showing my feelings, so he has been the one to initiate most of our contact. Some co-workers said they think he likes me, but he’s never asked me out. A couple of months ago, I asked if he wanted to come over after work to hang out and he said no and we both got uncomfortable. So I haven’t asked him to do anything else since then and assumed he wasn’t interested. But he still comes by to talk and tells me about his family, friends, roommates, work and lately he’s been telling me about how girls have been coming on to him.

I get the feeling that he’s trying to make me jealous… my intuition tells me that he does like me and I feel there is something almost tangible between us, but I really can’t figure him out. WhenI make up my mind that it’s all in my head, he will do or say something that tells me otherwise. I’m not even sure if it would work because I’m 6 years older and our departments are next to each other at work. For the past 3 weeks, he hasn’t been by as much because he’s getting promoted and has been swamped at work. He just told me his grandmother only has a couple months left to live and he’s been dealing with that as well.

I really care for him even though I haven’t known him long. Should I just play it cool and see if he makes a first move or should I just try to move on? I just don’t want to waste my time waiting around… I haven’t dated in 2 years after a couple of bad relationships… but now I feel ready to date.

Double Aquarius

Dear Aquarius,

Personally, I would look elsewhere. You tried to escalate the relationship when you invited him to your home and he declined. And in my experience when a man is interested in you, they will jump on an opportunity like that without delay. And if they don’t, they’ve got an explanation why. In other words, they do not let chances like that pass.

Now I could be wrong. Who the hell knows what is really going on when you are getting mixed messages like this, but it’s you who wrote me. So I work for you and this is what I think you should do:

Since you want a date, get one! They are easy to get, yes? Just throw an ad up on Match.com and you’ll have a date by the weekend. Get yourself out of the house! And don’t be shy letting this guy at work know you’re dating. He’s making you jealous? Show him you will wait for no man and see if that gets him going.

But really I’m not sure he’s the best choice for you. For a friend, yes. But a lover? You’re too much alike. You have you Sun, Mercury, Venus, Jupiter and your ascendant in Aquarius. Do you really need any more Aquarius? For what? What is he going to he going to add?

This is why all the coincidences, by the way. You two are simpatico but I would say he’s more like “tribe” than someone who would complement you. And coupling this with the fact you work together… well, I just think you will ultimately be happier if you shop elsewhere. Because think about it. If you have to ask…

Good luck

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Comments

Attracted To A Co-worker: Double Aquarius Woman, Aquarius Man — 13 Comments

  1. I agree with Elsa. Stay friends with the Aquarius (if you want to) and get more of a synergy going with someone who has more to offer. I feel almost like you’re projecting your desires for a good mate onto this person…but I could be wrong.

    Good luck,
    H

  2. For Double Aquarius:
    p.s. it’s odd that I had a dream about my Aquarian sister ( her Sun, Mars, Mercury in Aquarius) that I woke up from right before reading this blog.

    p.p.s. in my experience (with my sister) she sometimes picks people for friends or mates less based on emotional or other connection and more based on availability, eccentricity, or a sort of rigid or limited criteria. Try thinking like a water sign or a fire sign to get out of your head, maybe? Use intuition and drive to get yourself out there. Aquarius is innovative, but maybe it’s just me but romantically there is a sort of emotional detachment and rigidness. I guess this would work well for break-ups, though! (excuse the pigeon-holing, I don’t think all Aquarians are like this, but I think it CAN be an Aquarian trait to get caught in fixed states mentally and have unusual but unfulfilling relationships)

    hehe. You’ll have to forgive me. I’m very cardinal and mutable (fire+water)…also I’m tired. I hope by sheer accident that this either amused or helped you.

    Yours…H

  3. In my past (I have an Aq, moon) when I was only interested in a friendly relationship with someone, I would behave exactly the way this Aquarian behaved, refuse invitations but continue being friendly. I think you called this one right.

  4. Disclaimer: I love Aquarian women.
    But there is something about Aquarian men that irritates the hell out of me. They want you to read their effen minds! I have had no less than 4 in my life at extremely close range and they all had this in common:
    -passive aggression
    -fond of the silent treatment
    -played tricks to see if I was paying attention
    -pretended to be wishy-washy when they actually knew what they wanted
    -thought they were dynamite in the sack when they were not!

    And, it must be said, they all had me as their lover in common, so what that says about my sorry ass, I don’t know. But all wonderful Aquarian men are already snapped up. Trust me!

  5. am i just weird, or am i the only one who thought, “why not ask him directly?” you like him and wonder if he’s interested in dating. this isn’t weird or something, but sounds natural given the circumstances. i think the either wait on him or forget it is a false dilemma. i’m not much for “playing it cool” or “playing it” anything else for that matter.

    life is SO much easier if you just say what you’re thinking. it might make for a few minutes of discomfort, but that’s nothing compared to weeks or months of torturing yourself trying to guess what you could easily ask and get on with.

    anywho…that’s what i’d do. ’cause i wouldn’t want to spend god knows how long wondering if i guessed what he was really thinking correctly.

    good luck!

    • I was in a similar situation and I spoke up..and atleast I got my answer..he already had a girlfriend..so now I’m atleast not stuck on him

  6. hehee…Christine your post is funny.

    I think every sign has its shadow side. To be honest–with years of dealing with my mega-Aquarian sister–well, the women do those things, too.

    You just have to kind of either live with it (or not). Since it’s my sister I opted to live with it. I know I have my flaws, too.

    Adios…
    Uncle Hannah

  7. Christine:
    *lol* I like the way you think.
    I think the “thinking they’re dynamite in the sack when they’re not” is a human thing, not just an Aquarian male thing.
    Seriously, has anyone here ever met someone who _admitted_ they thought they were bad in bed? I haven’t.

    Sorry for the digression, that just made me giggle.

    G.:
    Nope, I thought the same thing. That’s what my advice always is, though. Like so:
    You wanna know what someone thinks? Ask!
    You want some guy in the sack? Grab it like it’s yours!
    You’re sick of the way you’re treated? Say so! Then leave if it doesn’t change!

    I’m a very pro-active person in that regard. Life is too short to spend wondering about something, find out and more on.

  8. The guessing game is the worst game of all when dealing with men, no matter what zodiac sign they’re under. It means bad news all around, and I’m writing this merely due to the fact that men are not hard to figure out. If they like you or want to date you, they will definitely ask for a phone number, ask you out, or simply tell you. If they’re not interested, their actions will be ambiguous, like your co-worker’s. He probably senses that you like him, and now he’s having fun teasing you by making polite conversation and dropping little hints that he may or may not be interested. Free yourself from this game and move on. Drop an F-bomb on him by telling him about your marvelous date with a gorgeous new male acquaintance. Good Luck!

  9. As an Aquarian male myself maybe this might help. He obviously thinks something about you ,I know I wouldnt spend time talking,being so nice with a female if I wasnt interested.Just ask if he’s seeing anyone romantically,what does he think of you? Im sure he’ll understand where your taking it and you should get an answer.In answer to some other emails,in bed Ive never had any complaints,but then im not really “Mr.Average” size wise either.

  10. Its so funny how a few of these emails offer up subterfuge as a way of getting your answer.If only more people were like Aquarians.Obviously your out of sorts right now if you dont know what to do.

  11. Ive found that too. If a man is interested, no matter how introverted, he will make a move, if you give him an opportunity.

  12. that was great advice. 😀 Wow she has 5 planets in Aquairus and she wants more aquarius? lol ;p
    yeah it sounds like this aquarius man likes the energy of the double aquarius woman but not romantically and passionately. lol sorry the passionately word with aquarius is not really mixing ;P he keeps coming by her desk and wanting to talk. He enjoys the chatting and he needs that. But attractiveness …maybe his personal planets are just not into you. Honestly, he sounds like he wants two women, one who will give him intellectual and platonic love, and another woman who will make his hot coals rise. 😛 I have one planet in aquarius so i kind of understand. But it’s not good that these guys do these things. I have seen fire sun sign men do the same thing or fire dominant guys… love talking to certain women and then the woman gets “feels” and the guy doesn’t want them back. I get really really upset and tell these guys that they are encouraging by being around them too long. The longer you stick around, the longer they get “feels”.. even if you say you are taken or not available. People are not robots. I think this is similar to the motto of you can’t be friends with a guy of the opposite sex unless he’s gay or he is family.

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