I just love your blog! I like your insightfulness and your straightforwardness: no beating about the bush! Your posting on the mars-scorpio-sex-OCD-connection touched me! A wonderful example of how directness and empathy can go hand-in-hand, indeed!
I am an Aries with Scorpio rising myself, so I do relate to this urge to” express the body”, which you write about in above mentioned blog. Actually, I would just love to be able to do this daily (or even better: more then just daily!!!) However, for some bizarre reason the men in my life feel different.
My last boyfriend decided he could not have sex with me anymore, ever since he became a committed Buddhist this summer. Another very close male friend of mine flatly refuses to have sex with me as well, even though we love each other dearly- which makes our relationship resemble that of Will & Grace, though he is by no means gay.
Going back into my past I can find more examples… of sex interfering in the development of a stable relationship. What is this? Why does this happening to me? I am by no means unattractive: I am a tall, 6′ 1′, busty, skinny blonde. Why do I keep attracting men afraid of sex? Will I ever find a good man to have any kind of “normal” sex life with? Or am I being too picky and should I resort to grab just any guy straight from a bar and jump his bones? I have no intentions to become a nun…
Aries from Amsterdam
You understate your chart. You’re an Aries with a Scorpio rising all right, but you’ve also got Mars and Jupiter in Aries – and that my dear is some hot, hot fire. And when you see circumstances like this repeat in your life, I think asking why is the way to go and astrology can illuminate.
Now it seems to me the problem is with the men, not you and I’ll explain. Say you had this fiery sexy Mars situation, but Saturn was leaning on the thing. This would indicate your sex drive being thwarted and it might manifest just as you describe.
But this is not the way your chart is set up. In fact, it is just the opposite. You’re like a fast car… a fine motorcycle with nothing but open road on the horizon. And what I think is happening is you are meeting men who have various impediments in their charts, and suffering because of it. It’s as if you’re the fastest car on the road and no one who can keep up. They try, or they may want to try but they wind up eating your dust again and again until they just relent and opt to let you ride on up ahead. And you can’t do anything about them, but you can do something about you.
You can be aware of this situation. You can be aware you are the hottest hot rod out there, overwhelming to almost everyone and you can try to govern yourself. And I don’t mean, stuff your sex drive. I mean, do what I have to with my racing engine. Find as many outlets as possible so you don’t consume the people you love.
In your case, your Aries is in the 5th and 6th house. The 5th house is “fun sex” so there you go. But it is also about creativity and children so for example, you could get involved in children’s sports. Run all day with a pack of kids and maybe once-a-day sex would do it for you. And you would be satisfying your 6th house need to serve, while you’re at it.
The point is, to assert yourself (Aries) in 5th house matters and bottom line, you need a creative outlet. You need some other channel for your energy and with some of your fire discharged for the day, perhaps you can find a man who can deal with the rest. So this is my advice: Expand!
Humm, I have a six year old with Sun and Mars in Aries(5/6 house too), along with Scorpio rising. I’m going to keep this advice in mind for her future. 😉
oh wow… you surely have my sympathies. here’s to getting laid well, and soon. and often.
Wow, this could be me!
Great advice, E!!
If you are old enough, metally stable enough, and like yourelf. –no, love yourself–what is wrong with one night stands? Cover your safety bases and hit the town. Or not. You seem like that’s not your cup of tea. Personally, I loved them when I was single. No, I am not lying, delusional, or crazy. Many people think it is impossible for women to truly enjoy one night stands, but I met some really nice, polite, cool men.
After a very, very long dry spell (not for lack of effort!), I heard the goods from a male friend: “You seem like you know what you want, and many men are intimidated by that.” A little bumpty- bump into the good night with randomnness never hurt me. I’m pretty much married now, and monogamous. The funny thing is, my partner has a similar past.
Mind you, this tomcat life ain’t for everyone. Good advice, Elsa!
I have a query for Elsa:
You speak about using energies (such as strong Mars energy) wisely by having outlets. I suppose this is true for various things in the chart–whatever is strongest. I was wondering, how do we identify what energies are expressed most strongly in our charts. Do we try to identify themes we see over and over again, or concentrations in signs and houses?
I guess I feel a bit confused as to how to find these energies and wrestle them out into the open. For instance, I have this major tendency to emotionally eat (which could be a variety of things, come up for various reasons), and I also have a propensity for great sexual energy, etc. The list seems to go on–and sometimes one is contradictory to the other. I guess people are confusing, or perhaps I am just more confused than the average person.
So…who else is confused, too? Does anyone have opposing impulses–such as extreme horniness but extreme self consciousness and not wanting to “take” sexually? I feel a bit ambivalent. I guess I feel like that one person who wrote Elsa and had such strong ambivalence in herself that she didn’t decide on anything. For me it’s not that I can’t decide, it’s just that the energies are just like a tidal wave pulling me in various directions.
P.S. sorry if this comment is confusing 🙂
Holy moly. I’m an Aries with a Scorpio rising, and WOW, that really hit home. I’m glad I’ve discovered where my huge sexual drive comes home… and why it’s led me to the end of a few relationships.
Oh yeah, this is me too, except I have Saturn sitting on top of my Venus. So lots of sex, but not a lot of love.
agh. i feel this.
though all my aries is eighth and neptune makes hash of my mars.
i want i want i want… uh, what do i want? frack.
Scorpio Sun, Aries Moon, Scorpio Rising – and boy does this feel familiar! A hard man is good to find!!!
I’m a man who’s in same situation but with a wife who has no need for sex. Look me up should you ever come through Shanghai! 😉
One night stands are terrible. Sex is not just a stick-a-dick thing, it has several really serious spiritual/energy implications. Don’t lose your Soul.
Elsa certainly didn’t mean you’d go pickup guys in bars or Tinder. Outlets for expressing energy means to channel it constructively, not destructively.
If you ask me, the gym etc can be good but it isn’t a definitive solution.
You need to find Reiki or other energy balancing technique you can apply to yourself – Reiki is best for that – and calm yourself down daily, reset, find your inner peace, stability, wisdom, knowingness.
It’s called energy transmutation. To be your own boss, not a slave to the p***.
Last but not least, all women have an inner male and all men have an inner female. Watch Sun and Mars to get to know your inner male. If none of them have saturn or some malefic impeding them, then your problem may be something else from the Black Magics department, some other woman/women who envy you for your tall slim bosom blond looks etc. I mean, with Scorpio Ascendant that is almost guaranteed.
I also mean that your partners behavior must be described by your Sun and Mars. And if it’s not, like Elsa seems to have said, then it’s something else. I suggest then you have a look at your Moon and Venus, could be self defeating. Catholic/nun school/education will also do that to you.
Plus some psychology 101 is fine here – with so much Aries maybe you’re coming up as a pushover, as a “I’m wearing the pants here, I call the shots”, too competing, too bossy and domineering. A tame Libra type man who enjoys a domineering woman bossing him around might love it but you actually don’t want that, you want a hero type guy, a military. But military tend to not be around much, so…
The answer is NEVER on someone else, that just ruins your life and wastes your best years. The solution is always on self.
Everything starts and ends within!