I’m a Scorpio woman, he’s a Virgo man. We have been good friends for about four years; he was a customer in our shop. Unfortunately we closed our shop, but I kept in touch with him. The odd text here and there, and meeting for a cup of tea on the odd occasion. Just having a good chat about life.
Since I’ve known him I’ve been married, and he has had two strong relationships which we hardly talked about. Another friend who came in our shop always said the Virgo had the hots for me. I just passed it off as we are very good friends. He was like the brother I never had, always there to cheer me up when I fell down.
Middle of last year, we started seeing each other a bit more as I wasn’t working. He always went out of his way to make me laugh. We got on really well, till he had a bit of a prang on his motorbike. I told him I would give him a hug when I saw him, as I was really sorry his bike was wrote off but glad he wasn’t hurt.
When I saw him, I did give him this hug and it felt good and right. We have this strong connection and I think he felt it too and has since become a bit distant. We still text but some times he doesn’t reply. I feel I’ve lost this good friend and think the world of him. He also knows I have been having a bit of a rough time in my marriage, just lately. When he does get back to my messages, he will send me just the one to see if I will reply.
I’m a bit lost is this the sort of thing Virgo men do. Or is he frightened of his feelings, because on one text he sent me he said, “yes but you are married”. I really don’t want to lose this guy as my friend. What should I do to keep him?
I am pretty sure you can keep your friend but only if you’re willing to get back into his comfort zone and stay there. Because it seems you were fine up until two things occurred. Number one, you had trouble in your marriage and number two, you told him about it.
Because the way you tell this story, the two of you did not discuss your intimate, personal lives. He knew you were married, you knew he had serious relationships, and that was it. It was a friendship. But now it seems you’re shifting and he simply does not want to go where you might. Can you accept that?
If you can, you only need to go back to what was working. That is, you’re married and you keep your hands off him. And if you get divorced… well that might be a different story. But this story is the story you’re living at the moment and it seems to me this guy does not want to be in your primary relationship in any way shape or form.
Also, just because you felt a connection, I would not assume he felt the same or even similar. And the guy who told you the Virgo had the hots for you?
In my experience when a man tells a woman that, it is HIM who has the hots for her. And maybe the other guy does too. I don’t know. But you get the idea.
Your friend is not interested in making more of your relationship, at least not now, not under these circumstances. I don’t blame him and in fact, I think he’s smart. You’d be rebounding, you know?
It could be his (subtle) rejection of you is his way of being a good friend.