Paul Simon says there are 50 ways to leave your lover, so pick one.
What’s The Deal With Scorpio Freezing You Out, Or Amputating?
Why Is Scorpio Vilified For Doing The Same Thing The Rest Of The Zodiac Does?
Paul Simon says there are 50 ways to leave your lover, so pick one.
What’s The Deal With Scorpio Freezing You Out, Or Amputating?
Why Is Scorpio Vilified For Doing The Same Thing The Rest Of The Zodiac Does?
Oh, this relates…I just had the third round of my Neptune transit square Mars-Mercury, which are opposing Neptune in my birth chart. This transit really unveiled what had been hidden – first time I considered “animus projection” to be the reason why all my designated lovers (as in “true love”) vanished and/or refused to get involved sexually with me. Thing is, I didn´t even get mad, i just suffered and tried to transcend… and cling to the astral connection as long as possible. Ain´t that neptunian? Oh, how I victimized myself…Can´t believe it. And it wasn´t even me – I just thought I had to be that way! Now, since Neptune took off the veil, I´m just plain furious, and it feels great. Not specifically, it´s just as if all the fury I hadn´t realized or expressed had been stored somewhere inside waiting to blow up.
The transit took about a year and three rounds until I sort of figured it out and became aware of MY will and MY expression as in not depending on men or images of men. I love it. This year I was the one actively leaving, twice – and that´s what I prefer. And it´s got nothing to do with not loving somebody, it´s just excerting the right to leave a fruitless situation instead of clinging to the cross and flashing the halo. In fact, I´ve needed men for inspiration, and that I got, so now it´s time to admit I got what I wanted and stop whining.
I´m still in the process of figuring this transit out, so this is just a snapshot, and though I´d love to tell the whole story, I better leave it at that… (Learning how to leave, ha ha)
I want sudden death overtime, like in hockey. I don’t do drag-outs very well. I am a very emotional person, but I hate emotional turmoil in a relationship (I want you; I don’t want you; let’s break up; let’s not). AAAAAGH!
It drives me CRAZY!
I had a lover leave me so quickly I threw up, and I’m not kidding. One minute we were planning the future. Ten minutes later he was packign the car.
I hated it, but I appreciate knowing there’s NO GOING BACK. Onwards and upwards, that’s where my Venus/Saturn/Neptune grand trine like to go.
With Venus conjunct Saturn and Pluto..I’d prefer it short and direct, but Venus-Saturn has a tendency to perpetuate the agony.
I fidn this all really disturbing. I got lotsa Aries and Leo in my chart, independent, need space, adulation, yes — but space too.
At teh same time, lotsa Pisces and Scorp’ so that separation is rough.
Has anybody had the experience of amputation from someone whose Pluto aspected your chart in a rough way, and who wasn’t necessarily a Scorpio?
Or Saturn? What’s more brutal? Saturn severing or Pluto amputation? I mean, fuck, Pluto’s teh god of teh dead, once he’s got you no going back, but Staurn’s the dude who castrated his father because he was afriad of him!
Any comments on which is worse to deal with?
Dear Busted. Don’t take the criticism personally please. There are many good Scorpios, like my father, brother, my husband and millions of others. Did Saturn really castrate his father? However it was we have to accept Saturn for he doesn’t share planet Earth with us.Hope you got my answer.
Busted-yes, my sister (she has Pluto conjunct her ASC and 8th House Sun/Moon).
The one that’s worse to deal? Hmmmm, I’d guess Pluto; there’s no planning for Pluto.
Love to the Scorpios
Hi. I’m a libra born on the 21st – have a bit of the scorpio in me, and it seems to come out during break ups just as you said! it takes me forever to finally decide to break up with someone (libra) but once it’s done, it’s done. yes, it seems to me best just to amputate, at least for a while, because that process of adjustment can drag out forever if you try to be friends immediately after ending the romance. you end up still sleeping together and in this strange disentanglement phase where nothing gets resolved (though you hope it will) but you are still holding on, clinging desperately to that feeling that, for whatever reason, can’t work out. I have a venus in libra, too, so love love love is the name of my game, or the game of love is more aptly my game, but i find it hard to tolerate bull shit. when it’s over, it’s over. ive done my share of wishing things were different, but it is best done alone. in time, things heal. but that time alone is crucial!!!!
it is excellent that you posted something about this, too, because i have a scorpio ex who has pretty much amputated me from his life. we were friends for six years!!! (that’s a good while for me, i’m 25). we were together in the third year, broke up, then after a few years past the wooing started again, but, surprise surprise, i couldn’t commit. the scorpio (10/23) pretty much felt that he and i were soul mates. there was a strong connection there, with our birthday just two days away, to be sure (though perhaps too similar…). but now he has decided that if im not going to be in his life romantically, i cant be in it at all! so im getting the opportunity to take what i dish out.
what is there to say when you break up with someone? i loved you once, i still love you and in some sense always will. but now, saying those things would simply cause confusion. at the point of a break up, a redefinition of terms must take place, a division of what has become fused into one. i think it is important to remember that that amputation wouldnt be necessary if there weren’t a lot of love present, a powerful force that people sometimes dont know how to deal with except to walk away from it.
ps: your question was whether or not we could see our venus styles in the way we handle break ups. i guess the venus in libra part of me has been coming out more recently. in the last few years, ive gotten into the habit of trying to get the other person to break up with me when i want to break up with them. when it can be subtly mutual in that sort of way, then you dont need to worry as much about causing unnecessary hurt and pain to another person. of course it still hurts, but at least they arent left thinking, “that bitch left me!” resneting you. they just kind of miss you and wish you were still around. yes, diplomatic and charming, just the way i like it.
…as long as they actually tried to be honest about why, a quick close at least allows people the finality which allows them to move forward.
vaguley drawn out who-knows-what are just endlessly painful to me. i’d rather know and be done with it.
and, well, that’s what i usually do when i break up. i make my decision, i tell them, and i’m gone.
every once in awhile things are more complicated though. where there’s, perhaps, a communication gap which could clear things up and i want to leave room for that.
well…I would prefer them not to get involved if they are going to leave! I go out of my way to be sure I want something before I go for it and I appreciate that kind of thought from others too.
“i think it is important to remember that that amputation wouldnt be necessary if there weren’t a lot of love present, a powerful force that people sometimes dont know how to deal with except to walk away from it.”
agoldenhairedlion – why would you walk away from love? and what would you being walking towards? a void? how could this be more attractive than love?
I don’t really understand this amputation concept – I can’t remember doing this to anyone. I have, however, left after repeated bad behavior from others…and I’ve always left a reasonable explanation why (though it should be obvious). I usually prefer to fix it though than to amputate. It’s too easy to just walk away and abandon the situation…and then run head on into the same situation with the next person.
I have been on the receiving end of this amputation though. And when I’ve asked why, I get the same response as agoldenhairedlion gave. Don’t understand it at all, but I try to put myself in their shoes, and I still talk to these people when they choose to return. People are fascinating and they change all the time 😉 I’ve learned to leave room for surprises and to accommodate this stuff as it always fits into a bigger picture – love always comes together when it is real.
then again, it could just be the best bs line anyone could give to leave someone. because, really, who walks away from love?
Haha, I’m such a hypocrite. I do the Scorpio hot-to-colder-than-ice leaving. And it’s because once I’ve reached my limit, I just stop caring. My feelings shut down within seconds, literally. The timing, how they feel, no longer matters to me because they’ve sucked every last bit of caring from me. I don’t relish it; i feel nothing. And THAT’S what gets people all riled up. “We shared all of this and you just don’t care? How can you not care?” I dunno why it happens, but it does. I still never regret time spent with anyone.
If someone were to break up with me, I’d like a nice, long, handwritten note listing reasons why the relationship has ended, and a very final closing. This way, I get all their reasons (retarded or not, at least I can accept them), and a clear goodbye.
Once i have been hurt to a certain point there is simply no way i’m going to pretend to be goo goo for someone. I think the old scorpio intuition can somtimes get obbscured when we are in love with someone. When we “amputate” it is claiming back all that we are without puting up with any more bull shit. Love is blind in many ways, i have been totally mistreated in relationships, and there just comes a point where my pride can’t take it anymore. I feel that saying that this is brutal to leave when you are fed up is another for of abuse and manipulation. I am not the one to be dragged through the dirt over and over and still get up with roses on the front door step.
I always like a good talk/argument at the end to air it out so there is nothing left to discuss or resolve. I started questioning ‘how i give love’ a few years ago after a negative relationship ended. I’ve worked really hard on leaving no harm to those I am with and that means being humble and taking deep breaths. I like feeling at peace.
Then…have really good and wild good bye sex. I just move on after that. I don’t believe in pining…there are billions of us here and the right one will be with me forever. Just a feeling.
yes, yes, Des! for people to complain about the amputation seems odd since they ignored the injury, the infection, the gangrene and OH MY now you have to amputate??
I guess I just admitted to amputating. it’s how I work too. that’s my mars. but I’ve been dumped too and I don’t think there’s ANY good way to be dumped. pick your poison.
I might cry, but I want it quick and unequivocal. Capricorn Sun, Venus, Mars , Mercury trine Pluto and sextile Neptune.
I would prefer freezing or amputation with honest mature goodbye if possible. I have remained friends with most of my ex’s but only after a period of freeze or amputation on my part. As a Scorpio, I need that space and time to heal. I have to come back to myself and the only way I can do that is completely removing the other peroson from my reality for however long it takes for me let go of the old relationship and any resentment I might have. Then I formulate a new/different way of relating to or loving the person. That usually take six months to a year and half in my experience…
Be honest and to the point with me, then make a clean break.
I’ve had a few guys simply disappear on me. One even moved, wouldn’t give me his new address, but wanted to stay in the relationship! Nuh-uh. 😉
I have Neptune in the 7th, which explains this vanishing into thin air thing.
I don’t like this at all. Tell me the truth. I’ll respect that. I may be hurt, but I’ll move on.
I can’t judge them for that approach because I do the same thing. I am a Taurus with sun, moon, + mercury opposite pluto (8th house)/saturn in scorpio (9th), ascendant square both. Sometimes it gets to be too much really. And my venus is square my neptune also. I find that people project the weirdest things on to me, and I to them at times. I have my limits.
I usually find that with Mars in Gemini, a good way is to do it by letter, deleting a webpage or deactivating an SN. I have a nasty habit of letting people use me as a therapist for free. Maybe I should just get my Ph.D and get it over with because then I could at least be compensated for my troubles!
Tell me truth – something I can really learn from. Then exit stage left. No matter how many encores I call for.
Quickly and permanently. I’m a no looking back kind of gal.
Well, not in terms of self-reflection. I do that a LOT. But in terms of contact. I’m here, or I’m not here. Period.
I am with Lexie and Des on this too. I haven’t been in the dating scene for a while now, but I know this about myself in general….I like to know what it was that changed for them, an explanation, not drawn out, but try to be upfront and mature then a very clear goodbye.
The hypocritical part of myself is that my heart is like a chandelier…burning brightly, but as the ridiculousness and hurts increase the lights begin to burn out, until one day…that is it, last light goes out and I am done….there is no going back. And I have said this….”that was the last light”. So, I feel like I may drag out some.
I prefer amputation also, but with a discussion and some closure through that. I’m also an amputator, so I understand, and I do feel brutal, but really, I look at it as setting people free for a healthier future.
I amputate but gracefully. Learned this with age. Rarely, do I ever say why I’m amputating. I just try to get away from that person as quickly and cleanly as possible. The reason for this, well there are a few:-
1. I don’t like hurting people
2. If I’m amputating, it’s always because the person broke my trust or abused me. The last thing I want to do is trust them with my viewpoint or thoughts or feelings. They have proven they can’t be trusted so I no longer want them knowing anything about me.
3. They usually know full well what they’ve done. They just want to know if *I* know and how it might affect them – reputation or whatever. I’m nobody’s mother.
4. If they honestly don’t know, that is a very self-deluding person and no amount of explanation from me is going to get through to them.
I think that about covers it.
Forgot one –
If it’s serious enough, the situation, I don’t want them knowing what I know. That way, they are most likely to accept it and fade away rather than trying to hurt me in retaliation. They do seem to be scared shitless when I get very calm in a bad situation. But if someone hurts me that badly, if THEY had any grace or evolution in themselves, they would let me go and respect my right to choose who is close to me and who is not, just as I respect others rights to their own boundaries.
All it’s about, honestly, is truly self-preservation. It’s apparent from all the scorpio themed comments on various posts that people really have a hate on for us scorps, which I find unfair and way too generalized. It’s like hating all Germans because of Hitler. It’s unfair and ridiculous.
I don’t think there’s ANY good way to be dumped. pick your poison.
I also consider that whole “how can you walk away from love?” question to be selfish, manipulative and misguided. It detracts from the other person’s needs in the (former) relationship, and it assumes it was meant to be in very beginning, which is far too delusional and fairy-tale romantic for me.
Forgot to add-
To take seriously.
I agree with Carrie – I find a betrayal of trust to be unforgivable, and I reach a point where my feelings shut down completely and I just want to be away from that person and never see them again. It’s like a line has been crossed and activated a shutter on any feeling that I ever had for the person – it’s not disgust or contempt or hurt, it’s more like a complete 180degree switch, and I don’t see any reason to have any contact with that person anymore. It is definitely about self-preservation for me, and perhaps a sense of not wasting a single moment on things I can’t change once I have realised I can’t change them.
Would you prefer the executioner to use a sharp axe or a rusty saw?
hahah opal, good metaphor:) axe please , and the more brutal the better…make me hate you!!
I like it painfully honest. Prepare me by saying that you are not interested in being with me any more. List some reasons, truthful reasons. It will hurt and there’s a good chance I’ll curse at you, but can take small comfort that I was deserving of honesty.
Plus, the rage at hearing you say bad things about me helps me to get over you. Because clearly, you’re stupid. Hee.
@Carrie and @Vicki it so resonates with me too. Trust once gone is game over for me.
@Lexie if someone could do that it they will earn lifelong respect from me.
“I want sudden death overtime, like in hockey. I don’t do drag-outs very well.”
This must be the Cap Moon talking, since it’s exactly how I feel too. 😉 All my breakups have, at least in appearance, been like that. But my Cancer Moon boyfriend, who was actually the one to breakup, didn’t probably realize how much he needed someone to rely on him emotionally. We’ve only seen three times after he left the house to stay with his mother (the last being him taking me to airport to start a new life 3 months after the breakup), but he was very anxious to stay, as he said, “friends” with me. What he really wanted, I realized after taking time to study astrology, was to keep me confiding in him emotionally.
As a Scorpio, I am a lover not a fighter. A really special guy who I really really really like just “amputated” me – I think. I guess he “broke up” with me, but I disagree with him doing this, as well as his method. He told me not to contact him anymore, for NO reason! Well if he had a reason he did not tell me, just started being a jerk (maybe to try and get me to stop calling him?). The whole thing does not make sense. I actually think we are meant to be together… we are like 2 peas in a pod!
I personally have not used this “break up” method on anyone, so being a Scorpio I must be the exception to the “cutthroat rule”. I am still very much into this guy, and I won’t accept his breakup method… not without breakup sex FIRST :p In which case he would then realize what he actually has with me, and probably NOT break up.
I guess I am a hopeless romantic, I still think there’s hope for us! Should I just be a Scorpio and drive a stake through his heart? boooooo! 🙁
With honesty and respect. I have found, from past pain, that one cannot heal from a lie. Just tell me the truth and I can heal from there. Its sad that men always try to shield women from the truth cause they cannot stand to see us cry, or see us in pain. They don’t seem to get that they just make it worse by doing that.
I amputate Scorpios and plutonians. In facts, I don’t have Scorpio suns in my life anymore, I trashed them all, males and females. I have Scorpio Uranus in 11th house t-squaring Aqua Moon and Leo Saturn. The break-up is always sudden like somebody mentioned above: one minute I just love the person another minute I’m gone. The real reason is me being tired of their controlling nature. And I’ve learned not to engage into any conversations/explanations with Scorpios – waste of time, they’re not going to get it nor accept it. I just leave silently without saying a word, less damaging for me.
Venus in libra wants all to remain civilized, and appreciate the beauty that was shared. Pluto is right next to Venus, cataloging and tending the “graveyard”. We all have a hard time letting go, so it ranges from scrapbook-ish things to maintaining a pretty solid group of friends, majority being former love interests or lovers. The big relationships have required distance. If not severing/amputations, distance and restructuring of relationship. (zombie abscess = not pleasant)
The seven year ex and I are slowly severing ties. Not much communication there. I went so far as to delete his chart from my Astro profile. (Felt brave and liberated.)
::shrugs, rolls with the transits::
Tell it to me straight and do not send me any mixed signals.A guy once did this and he’s doing it again, three years later. All I can see from this is that being unclear about our feelings/ relationship status or whatever is causing me enormous pain.I cornered him down, demanding an answer.I even expected and got prepared for an “I just don’t feel like falling for you” or something of the kind.I got an evasive respond, that wasn’t actually a respond at all. It pissed me of even more and cause even bigger pain.
I vote for “cutthroat rule”.I see the need for it in my chart.Venus/Pluto. If you feed my obsessive nature with your mixed signals, I won’t be able to move on.
Thats me solitaire…right down to the nub. 5 years with someone who gave me mixed signals. Everyone kept telling me to move on. I chose to transform my obsessive nature by focusing on myself and my view of the relationship for the better. I have powerfully grown.
But Im still finding myself hanging on. Perhaps because the relationship is so tranforming for me. Its like my heart and soul is pushing me to stay
I agree with Ana, who throws away love? Who throws it away?
I cannot say this or that works in all cases – certainly in cases of abuse you have to leave. If you grow apart – you grow apart – you can grow it into a friendship without a dramatic hurtful showdown severing of ties. It is not needed to create more hurt and hate in the world – there is enough there already.
I hate drama and Scorpio seems to love it -but to me it is a misuse of emotional power. (Mental note – stay away from the scorpio – sorry folks don’t get mad at me not all of us can take the intensity)
In my case, the ex did a severing. This was after him hunting me down like a wild animal, refusing to take no for an answer, insisting on coming into my life, it took him 9months to talk me into a relationship with him, living with me for two year, and falling truly, deeply and completely in love with me and me with him- it was real and it was really good – but – some of us don’t believe we deserve to be happy so we create drama and he is one of those folks…… During the drama that was the break up he said I had gotten too close – I was in too deep. It was real love.
If you throw something like that away perhaps you don’t deserve to experience it. I have been slowly and surely picking up the wreakage he created. Studying his chart – and there is the yod I did no see before with Eris on his descendent and pluto/neptune inconjunct. The night of the break up that Yod was triggered with Saturn on his Ascendent in Libra – and well – there you are…
– All that drama courtesy of Eris – even though he has left wreakage I am slowly beginning to realize I will be much better off without him. He has Eris on his descendent and is a huge drama king..this is what he wants to experience in his life…Pallas Athena is over there as well – so hopefully he will gather some wisdom from his dramas and outgrow it
.I have Jupiter on my descendent trine my mercury and moon in gemini and all I want is something good and solid and real
I have Libra at 25 degrees on my IC and aries on my MC and- I can do battle out in the world…I don’t want it at home.
So – I was amputated by him and it was very hurtful – but I will find someone better than him. He is in for more drama. Funny thing – the guy before him – he and I are still friends and we are great friends- his sun sits right on top of my mercury….
I just don’t understand creating chaos like that when we all know if it goes around it will come around right back at you. Certainly I have not treated anyone like this in this life. I put it down to upbringing and what behaviors were modeled in the home. I also putting it down to not being loved and not understanding love.
I am looking for better now. I think we have to be responsible for the treatement we are willing to accept. I will say while we were together it was the most passionate and intense connection I have ever known. So – it was not all bad….
I have sun, merc, venus & saturn scorpio and I do not casually amputate. When I am deeply betrayed by someone I have given my heart/trust to I will consider very carefully if there is a chance (to heal the relationship) before I cut. Sometimes it is necessary to let go.
Maybe it’s because I have Libra rising and neptune in the 1st house but I have remained friends with 3 of my more serious loves.
I have Venus square Neptune also, but unlike what Elsa said in the video, I prefer not to get my “throat cut.”
I’m one of the few in this comments thread to not amputate and not prefer to be amputated. I’m more on the “stay friends” or something close to that. If I loved someone very much at one time, it is hard for me to go from love to hate so quickly. Let me down easy.
Once it’s over, I’m outta there… they may as well be dead.
Catches guys off guard for some reason…
Pluto Uranus Virgo 7th – There is no going back for me. The steel door goes down and that’s it. My Aries Sun looks toward the future. If you’re not part of it, like McKenna says, you might as well be dead.
Cap Venus conjunct Sun, Taurus Moon, ie rationality and warmth: I always explain and I hope and expect that the other person would too.
In the worst breakups I’ve had (esp with the Actor) there was no explanation at all, nothing. He did apologise years later but it was too late to make it right – it was utterly devastating at the time and the fact there was NO REASON for it made it infinitely worse. It’s hard to deal with what you don’t understand
If I’m left feeling bitter then amputation (at least for a while) is the only way I can handle it. In general I’d prefer to stay friends. If I could have maintained a friendship with my ex I;d have been able to stay in Italy but he made me so bitter I needed to get the hell away
For the past few years (and most of my life) I was the victim of vicious gaslighting as well as outright brutal physical, emotional and sexual abuse. Members of my family, community and even the legal and public works systems, conspired to make my life hell for not “going along with the program”. This happened in the suburbs (both middle class and “Country Club neighborhoods) where the payoff to the perps was a rise in popularity or social status (attention/ respect from peers). I was ostracized and harassed for not “socialzing” with a bunch of social climbing, greedy jerks. The problem was they were being exploited in a much larger plot! When they got me out of their community (check out Monarch programming and Monarch planned communities) I moved to what some would consider “low income” environment where drugs, easy money (currency to fuel their addictions) and the pure enjoyment of bringing and keeping others down was the way to get folks to “go along with the program”. I am being ostracized now for being too friendly,(huh?) As a Scorpio I am surviving and also in some ways thriving because we Scorps love the truth and like to understand the mechanisms that others use to control. Unfortunately, a lot of the perps are Scorpio suns and others with Scorp moons. The astrology of this is amazing! Now i am just happy to not have to deal with those family and social groups and they have the nerve to play the victim. They got rid of me, but now that I obviously don’t care, they are playing the victim!! This is terrible, everyday is a battle but it is also an amazing journey into the base nature of human beings. What they will do to control others for attention, affection, respect, sex and money. Pharmaceutical reps with access to drugs, nurses and doctors who will harm patients to pay off drug and gambling debts. Parents who will sell their children to pedophiles to be “part of the group”. Children and parents poisoning and killing their relatives fro inheritances and insurance payouts! Husbands so jealous of their wives that they ruin their reputation. Sibling rivalries that last into old age. Homewreckers and shady politicians. Cults, covens and private corporations that “control” everything.
The baseline for all of this is fear- fear of being alone, not belonging, not being the “queen bee”, aging- loss of superficial looks, death, not having access to medical care that is killing us all, illegal drugs to take their minds off the evil they have done and to quell their conscience enough so they can sleep. They fear losing access to sex with children or other demographics to get a sense of power because they fear being humiliated for their lack of sexual and physical prowess. These are all Scorpionic issues, but the other side is just not giving a damn and control your own emotions and perversions! Because the only other option is joining “the program”.
Goodness! Sounds like Hollywood
I can be short here: if someone do not want to be with me, or want to leave: tell me and go. Be clear and leave.
The point is in the telling. Amputating is a cutting off. Usually without warning or explanation.
Are you ok with how a Scorpio might do it.
Neptune and Jupiter in Scorpio with Virgo Pluto on the Desc. I rarely give up on a relationship but when I do it’s quick and final. NO backsliding or renegotiations! I give them my reasons and they give no comeback, proving my point!
I try not to hurt people because the pain works both ways but when I cut someone off cold, without an explanation, it is so they will have to question themselves as to what happened. Up to this point, they have been oblivious to the harm they’re doing, despite being told. Let them live with it and figure it out on their own.
I would-be interested in hearing how you compare the amputation from a Scorpio and the ghosting from an Aquarius 😆
To answer the question though: amputation but that isn’t ghosting. So a direct ‘it’s over’ then no contact. Stellium in Scorpio, of which both Mars and Venus.
I feel I need it to click, the clarity, probably very painful but leaving no doubt, which I do not get from ghosting. With ghosting something could have happened to the person, they could be busy… It’s way too open ended.
It’s similar but it takes longer to register and I feel it wastes time.
I’ve experienced ghosting, but I absolutely amputate. With as much mercy as I can depending on the depth of the bond.