I was telling a friend someone about the process I go through when I make a new friend. How anyone who comes on with too much, too fast, a “new best friend” sort made me nervous.
“When someone comes in and thinks they are going to fill up my life, I feel completely overwhelmed. I may like them initially but if my phone starts ringing off the hook, I know I’m not going to be able to sustain the relationship.”
She was listening intently.
“People like me have to have a chance to feel you out. If you won’t allow time for this natural process then why is that? Whatever the reason, it can’t be good. I don’t even want to know what the reason is. If you can’t give me time to have my feelings and process them, and if you don’t need time to experience and process your own feelings then I’m pretty sure we’re incompatible.”
How (and when) do you form a friendship? What will break the deal in the process?