Why Am I Always The Scapegoat?

Rene Girard points out that one only need be slightly more attractive than the rest of the group to become their scapegoat. It’s not comforting!

A lot of people who consider themselves a scapegoat. “I’m always the scapegoat,” they say. But if you live long enough you see that who a society (or a family) persecutes will change over time.

This is why Girard’s observation is so disturbing.  He suggests that you may be a hair’s breadth away from being the scapegoat yourself.
You may also be spared by a narrow margin.

The latter suggests that avoiding being scapegoated may be fairly easy to do.

If this is the case, then what does it say about people who wear the scapegoat label throughout their entire life?

Are you a scapegoat? Who is the scapegoat of the zodiac?

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Comments

Why Am I Always The Scapegoat? — 78 Comments

  1. All the scapegoat has to do is either live on its own with creatures that won’t disturb its peace (a different kind that is kinder and will accept it) or blend in with its own like species but of a different clan than it was raised with. The problem is not the scapegoat’s appearance or uniqueness it is the other’s pov. Therefore, if it can either survive on its own or assimilate that would be the best. Humans have it easier than animals. We can modify ourselves to fit in with the status quo. But we are at the same time animalistic we want to follow our desires its hard to deny what is there. So for humans best thing is to find an accepting group of people or like minded peeps or your on your own and the latter I would not recommend. I remember going to an astrology group here in LA and I was surprised to see such like minded 40 year old’s thanks to meetup.com and I was happy for them they found their place. They all seemed like misfit atypical 40 year old’s but they found something similar, astrology and bonded it seems like for years already.

  2. I am the only Goat in a family heavy on Archer energy, plus I have Chiron in Pisces conjunct my descendant. I was definitely the scapeGoat when I was growing up! Because I was so different from my sibs and my parents (Aquarius mom and Gemini dad) I was painted as pathological. My preference for our front door to be locked at night? Obviously OCD. Wanting for my room to be off-limits to my younger Sag sibs? So selfish, and I must be a neat freak. Refusing to clean up the messes of said sibs? I must be an irresponsible slob. I see the humor in it now that I am older and live halfway across the country. But times of stress still bring out the old family patterns. When my father’s health went into rapid decine at the end of his life, I had to balance the needs of my kids and husband and job with the obligation to fly across the country and care for him (I’m the only one of nine kids who doesn’t live in town). All of the old accusations of “selfish” and “cold” came up, and I had to grieve mostly on my own. But I probably feed into it, with my silent Capricorn stoicism that keeps me from defending myself …or would that be seen as overreacting and being too sensitive? Ah, well.

  3. I see scapegoating in families a lot, where one child deemed the “troublemaker” is actually the one who bears the “sins” of the family. By focusing on the kid, the have employed a method to ignore the larger issues of dysfunction.

    • I’m totally that person–12th house Pluto and Uranus, Sun in the 8th. My family will barely speak to me at this point.

      They’re amazingly dysfunctional, and have just totally ostracized me, though I’m a pretty good person (though I also developed into someone who spoke out too often for their taste about their dysfunctionality. Have really worked hard on just accepting, and turning my attention elsewhere).

      It’s a very hard re-set for that one child/person, it can create a lot of guilt and anger (though also sometimes freedom).

  4. Interesting Mary-I am also super-charged-Sag and there has been some issues of a drama child in the family. Years followed after leaving the family I beared with people putting their emotional crap on me. Some of them, I swear has been clinically nuts! Finally the recent transit of Uranus on my natal moon in Aries made me say enough. Now I am able to walk out of any situation and never look back. Of course at the cost of lonliness, but never felt more relief from seeing that it is all only up to me whether to be scapegoat or not.

  5. Hmmmm,I’ve seen the opposite actually…the person slightly more unattractive usually ends up being the scapegoat.

    Either way, I have never found myself in that position and I am thankful for it. I honestly can’t see me allowing it to happen. I would never lay down and allow someone to pin something on me that did not belong. I believe that we can choose to allow it or not. Maybe the choice to not allow it is futile, maybe not.

  6. Hey, I have an Aries moon too! And I have felt a lot freer since Uranus transited my moon. Maybe Capricorn and Aries have a karmic challenge with being a scapegoat to work through?

  7. I am the scapegoat to my Mother and my sister, always have been. I’m the black sheep, the ne’er do well, the villain. They believe their shitty treatment of me is due to some perceived fault in me. “I’m so…(fill in the blank). What sucks is that I believed them my whole life. Meanwhile my sis is a compulsive overeater/shopper/hoarder and my Mom has a personality disorder/overeater/hoarder and they are thick as thieves. It’s sad really. Sorry girls, please take responsibility for your own garbage (just like I did in quitting alcohol) and keep the stink away from me. I finally stood up to them only a couple of years ago and that has changed my life and the way I relate to others. It sucks growing up with bullies.

  8. The scape goat has learned to be the escape goat. Have to be careful what I get myself into. And that can be difficult because I’m not always aware of the underground plots going on. I’m just doin my job right? I don’t like being ushered into the fall guy position. And I really don’t like life being that complex. Either I was naive or the biz world has really changed.

    Years ago, I worked with a bus boy who had spent time in a boys home because he was caught thieving. Ripped off people’s homes for goodies. He said he didnot do it for the stuff or money but for the thrill of getting away with it. That seems to be the norm now. Getting away with as much as possible. It’s a hard one for me.

  9. Oh, and I would say Pisces is the scapegoat of the Zodiac. Pisces Rising here. But I’m learning to change that dynamic. There is only so much crap a person can take and if I want to remain sober & at peace I definitely need to keep my boundaries in place now that I’ve learned I MUST have some.

  10. Pisces? Maybe?
    A lot of people like to pick the “scapegoat” by selecting the person who is least likely or able to defend themselves. I’m not saying that Pisces cannot or will not defend themselves. They can. But, they are often underestimated.
    I haven’t always been the scapegoat. There were attempts to put me in that role. And, some of my family still place a lot of blame on me for different things–I just don’t accept most of it and leave them to their conclusions. Doesn’t mean I buy it.
    Interestingly enough, that whole thing unfolded just as Neptune passed over my AC and into my 1st house.

  11. scorpio suns are scapegoats
    cancers seem to be scapegoats too but in an unconscious way and get affected by it in uncoscious ways too. they dont realze they are but they are.
    I think for some reason capricorn weights too. perhaps people see capricorns as secure and confident or “move forward” kind of person, or strong so they glue to that idea and to them..
    and i have to disagree abbout the most attractive. the less attractive is probably the one who is more used “in bad times” so they carry it all

  12. I like what you said about seeing the cycles of change, seeing how eventually everyone becomes the scape goat. I tried to explain this to my 18-year-old little brother today. he is going to college in the fall and wants to know which professions are more respected than others. I pointed out that at some point, every profession, every walk of life, every way to be encounters some hate/dislike, for a stereotype usually. This is similar to the scape goat effect mentioned here.

    I have gone through a training program that is 5/6 years long. I started off as the star, and saw the cycle make its way. I keep thinking of the Wheel of Fortune in the Tarot, and also the World card. It comes full circle. I’m at the end (I hope) of a scape goat period. There has always got to be one.

    Astrologically, I think LILITH is the scape goat of the zodiac. That’s why she is so pissed. Women are very easy to scape goat. In addition, anything that is misunderstood, complex, difficult to put a finger on is also game for scape goating: this rings of pisces and scorpio, as mentioned above, could include aqua (but they are too good at being the court jester), etc.

  13. ohh…reading this and the comments makes me feel better. i cannot tell you what my family is like. im away from them now and we dont even call for birthdays. i think the saturn ruled signs are the natural scapegoats.

  14. (((everyone))) People have issues. Forget them. They were not incarnated for greatness and will keep coming back onto this earth even worse. Since adopting this metaphysical view of life I realized that you cannot save people from the fate they were meant to live. The life they bargained for when they traveled and entered this dimension. The things they do have already been determined and since we all have free choice and will its up to us to change that fate. We don’t have much time unfortunately many people don’t relaize this so they fulfill their fate. We’re fortunate and blessed to have uncovered a small potion of life’s mysteries-astrology. I love you all!

  15. I see most, not all, have avoided the little sting put in there about scapegoats being able to avoid being so. But the “study” was referring to attractiveness and that’s not the only reason one may be scapegoated, as seen in some of the replies. I think the point of the example used, and the people who said they saw the opposite happen (more unattractive) is that people love to be on the same team, except there has to be someone on the other side. If it’s a group of fashionable mean girls, it’s the unattractive one who might be scapegoated. If it’s a group of less attractive people, they might be threatened by someone more attractive. There is such inherent aggression (Mars) in all of us and it bears looking at our Mars. Speaking of which, I was thinking Pisces is the scapegoat of the Zodiac, (can absolutely not even for one second consider that Scorpio would be) and also was convinced by the Chiron squares and the prevalence of Saturn suggested. But having written what I just did, is it really a debilitated Mars?

    I’m my family’s scapegoat, and my Mars is such a poor, traumatized thing – intercepted, in slow Taurus, in the hidden 12th, opposed and restricted by Saturn. Does the group just go for the one least able to defend themselves in a particular situation? My family treats me worse when they are all together than when there are fewer. God, they’re such bullies. Is it really Mars? Any scapegoats want to take a second look at their charts? I’m curious.

  16. The weirdest thing is inherited scapegoating.

    Ie. a kid is scapegoated…then grows up and has a kid and THAT kid is scapegoated. So painful to witness. This is my family’s gig. Hate it.

  17. My Mars is also relatively weak, in Libra in the second house. I have to agree that a lot of the scapegoating that I endured was about the rest of my family “wanting to be on the same team.” I love my family dearly, but as a whole we were kind of looked down upon, because we were poor and my overwhelmed parents couldn’t keep up the house and the yard, and there were just so darn many of us. So I can kind of see their point of view, picking at me because I was different from them. Still, it wasn’t/isn’t fair or right.

  18. I find the Pisces/Virgo axis, with its traits of service and sacrifice, to bear many traits we could link to the scapegoat figure.
    As for me, I have been. Cancer chiron (House, Mother, Childhood) in my 12th involved in a T-Square with my chart ruler the Moon (… surprise?) and 6th House Cap Neptune. My whole family situation was affected by this scapegoat pattern. I was their dark side, and at some point I almost consciously started to act it out.

  19. I’m sun Scorpio, and I was scapegoated by my family from about ages 3-4 on up. From about ages 10-15 I was bullied badly at school and at home.
    Scapegoating can’t continue if you refuse the position, but if you are a child, it’s pretty hard to see that possibility, plus, in terms of dependency, it is very near impossible to have any kind of escape besides growing up. I think that may be why there are so many fairy tales and folk tales encouraging the ‘youngest prince/ss’ or the ‘ugly duckling’ or the rejected to keep their chins up.
    Family dysfunction, especially alcohol is horribly, horribly toxic in this aspect. By birth order, it is usually the youngest that gets scapegoated. I don’t believe there is any real fix for it but to refuse the position of scapegoat by leaving and cutting ties. (boundaries)

  20. Haha! Jises, Mary, we must have the same b’day:)

    Let me know how you find it, but my finito with scapegoating had also a lot to do with freeing myself from expectations of other people (maybe mamas and papas) and stopping blaming anybody for my passivity(propably the life companion).

    Apparently we aries moons have to fight in life to get what we truly want, just because it will be spite of anybody, everybody and anything.

  21. I think Capricorn is the sign of the scapegoat.My understanding is that symbolically that’s why JC’s birthday was elected to be in that sign. Probably said that clumsily.
    Seen it and been it and frankly did it many times too, and yes it can be for any ‘unacceptable’ difference.
    Not so sure it’s easy to sidestep on a collective scale. Between kids the arising of it can be blatant but with adults it can be a small thing there, a tiny shift here, and then suddenly there’s a runaway train. Have seen it at work and believe me, there was no stopping it. Someone had to be sacrificed. Saturn.

  22. 8th house types and 12th house types. Maybe it’s a past life thingymabopper? They spent the past lives blaming other people now they must bear the mark of being a ‘scapegoat’.

      • I think what their comment meant was Taurus and Virgo (opposite Scorpio and Pisces) is attachment to material things/security and attachment to being critically judgmental of others and/or of service to others to the point of fault (like serving those who abuse them or wanting material security so bad they won’t leave someone they can’t stand). <==I know someone learning this lesson right now. So to correct the imbalance they come into this lifetime as a scapegoat, not as a punishment, but a means to break them of that ingrained habitual pattern of behavior. Everything is about the "middle way", ya know? They can't move forward without the opposite end becoming as imbalanced as their own lopsided calibration (in an attempt at creating equilibrium). So they attract people who want to exploit what they sense is too little in them (someone who doesn't stick up for themselves or is too nice are easy to bully). Being slightly better looking than the rest of the group is the group wanting to bring them down to their lower level. If they were slightly better looking AND a bad ass that took no shit, the group would instead kiss their butt. Like apes that immediately pick the bugs out of the dominate apes furr as a gesture of submission. So the lesson is never about what someone deserves and more about correcting an imbalance in energy that needs to be adjusted. We all struggle with our own brand of imbalance so there's no such thing as right and wrong (which is different for each person). But I do agree the scapegoating is a karmic thing that shows up where we project too little of something. It could even be a past lifetime of arrogance needing humbling. I have a south node in Taurus 11th house with Jupiter in late degree. I was born the youngest of a family with 5 children and received the brunt of the household abuse. I also was repeatedly accused of deeds I hadn't done and punished for crimes i didn't commit. Only lesson I can foresee in scapegoating is to be humbled and/or the need to stand up and defend yourself (depending on which karmic lesson is out of balance)

        • Wow interesting comment. Based on your take on it, it makes believe I’ve been scapegoated by my family my whole life, because I needed to learn both lessons: humbling AND standing up for myself. Humbling with society and friends and romantic partners, with whom I’ve always felt better than, unconsciously (perhaps as a result of hardcore cycles of love bombing and masive adulation from my narsicistic parents/ care takers). And learning to stand up for myself when it comes to my family and all the sophisticated ways they have always bullied and manipulated me psychologically and emotionally…. All of this scapegoating thing just dawned on me quite recently and it has been the most painful revelation I’ve ever faced.

          • And im a scorpio rising. And have noticed tons of scorpio suns and rising that I know are being scapegoated or are the scapegoat of their families. It puzzles me. I wouldnt have thought of scorpios as scapegoating targets but apparently theres something very “scapegoatable” about scorpio. I have a Scorpio sun aunt who now I see clearer than ever that was the scapegoat in my family 1-2 generations older than me. She was diagnosed as schizofrenic at a very young age for defending herself from her alcoholic abusive father. And now 1-2 generations after I was on the edge of becoming the newest scapegoat on my family… and Noup. Aint having it. Ghosting my fam soon.

  23. Reading Rene Girard has helped me considerably into moderating being my family’s scapegoat (Neptune in 4th certainly playing a role in that long-standing trend). He explains that one has to internalize at some extent the blame so as to become the scapegoat. Life-long “education” has conditioned my empathetic character into feeling responsible and guilty for everything but I’m getting in a better place now..:-)

  24. To anotheravator, how interesting you mention Neptune in the 4th. A friend of mine has the same placement and she is most definitely the scapegoat in her family.

    I think oftentimes this scapegoat issue shows up as a karmic theme in peoples charts, likely supported by the lunar nodes.

  25. One friend who is an alcoholic confessed that fact to me (i already knew) but then he targeted me big time … I guess he felt exposed. So I became his scapegoat for all kinds of shit… .went on for a few years till I stood up to him.

    And as a matter of fact that has happened several times… I am Cancer Sun (softy) , Scorpio rising (intense)… too empathetic… people tell me their secrets, then feel exposed, so they project all their stuff onto me.

    I think that is partly why healers have been tortured and scapegoated over the centuries…

  26. Another side of this conversation is people who always feel like scapegoats… yet aren’t really (persecution complexes)(Neptune, 12th house)

    I find people with strong Aries seem to often feel the victim of others projection. They think they are scapegoats yet often its their own (disowned) aggression creating the dynamic.

    It gets very interesting when you add that component.

  27. I was the scapegoat in my family growing up. I broke free of that only to marry man who would make me his scapegoat. Left my marriage and ended up in relationship where he gaslighted me to think it was me rather than face his own feelings (lack there of) towards me. At least I learned from my past and called him on it and wouldn’t back down. I try to think what!s behind it – Virgo sun in the 12th house? People pleasing libra rising? Rose-colored glasses Venus square Neptune? I don’t know…

  28. People have attempted to put me in this role. But they can’t give me anything that I won’t accept. I’m the bad guy in a situation right now. It doesn’t bug me because me and god know the truth. As long as I’m right with god, the labels people put on me seem insignificant.
    And I agree that the most attractive isn’t always a scapegoat. I’ve found that its the people who seem exceptionally strong or exceptionally weak.

  29. 12th house Pluto!!! (in Virgo) No question about it. It’s like I’ve been sent to the corner permanent. Have a lot of water placements too–Chiron in Pisces, Mars (sun’s ruler) in Pisces, Jupiter in Pisces. Glugg glugg glugg. But it’s that 12th house Pluto that’s all about being marginalized.

  30. I think an attractive and/or gifted person who is at some kind of disadvantage will be vulnerable to scapegoating. And possibly, an unattractive person could be as well. My own impression is that the dynamics can vary, but there’s always a lot of unconscious projection and meanness.

  31. I think that scapegoating is much like a… recipe. What is needed is environment, situation, setting and, above all,… players.

    Essentially, it is a timing mechanism.

    Anyone. Anywhere. Anytime, can be a scapegoat or scapegoated.

    What I find interesting, here, is that individuals will label scapegoating by their own personal astrology. Which leads me to think to believe that victimization is part of your own make-up.

    Sooo… subconsciously, are you setting yourself up for this kind of dynamic??

  32. Love your sign language chad. 😀

    Where I am at with astrology now is understanding what I got and how to use that. It’s not my fate to get away with stuff other people can. And I am sure I get away with stuff they can’t. The scapegoater could feel entitled to target those who get away with what they can’t. Needing to always be the center of attention seems to play in I think.

    The army builders (the teaming that was mentioned) are the ones I stay away from. They can make life darn uncomfortable.

    All I know is that when I received that threatening letter yesterday all those old horror tapes started up again. I don’t think I set myself up for this one unless it’s by not complying. But hey, should “authority” go unquestioned?

  33. I find the comment about 12th house fascinating. I am often projected upon (and it’s the kind of stuff that is utterly bewildering as to where it comes from) and when I was younger and that or the word that really hits home “targeted” from my extended family I would be the scape goat, my mother was before me and sadly still is. The cycle was broken with me. Somewhere somehow I turned that into the es-scape goat. When someone targets me it’s a warning sign for me to up and leave that relationship.

    Elsa helped with this in a career situation a number of years ago. The lessons have stuck, thankfully 😀

  34. I just gotta clarify something here out loud. I will never ever support anyone who victimizes someone because they can. Even if that person carries some kind of faux guilt or subconscious belief that they deserve it or don’t deserve any better. It’s just plain sadistic and irresponsible on the part of the abuser. The abuser is who I raise the middle finger to.

    I’m thinking about my mars rx in the 4th house of pisces and my neptune in the 12th. Astrology is no excuse but it sure gives me a base to cut through the crap and make positive changes in my life.

    And I know the christ said to forgive them for they know not what they do. But I am more focussed on taking responsibility for what I do. There is a rumor that the christ was actually a pisces. The cap date was the christian’s way of replacing the druidic winter solstice celebration of the days getting longer.

  35. I agree with what Fritzy Ritz wrote. I had a cousin who got blamed for everything in her family when in fact, she was the steady eddy helper. My uncle’s family had a golden haired child so the other one took the criticism. It may be more prevalent in families because the scapegoat can’t really escape like one could in a different group dynamic. My money is on Scorpio as an astrological scapegoat simply because people tend to be afraid of them. Nothing breeds blame like fear. : )

  36. I have too many strong feelings against scapegoating to go all the way, too much profanity and stuff, LOL. I had to cut the cord with ‘friends’ who were part of the blaming crowd. I’ll stop there before I get too triggered.

  37. How about Aries sun/ ascendants? Aries are sheep too. Fire and sheep makes a good sacrifice. They tend to start off too troublesome for school due to their hyperactivity, quick temper and playfulness (many mature just fine, just maybe not suited to a classroom setting when immature), but the tag often continues with them to adulthood, being blamed disproportionately for any problems at home.

  38. Quick, easy, and utterly un-PC way to avoid being scapegoated on the job at least. This has been confirmed for me by several lovely, talented, capable young women I know. Bottom line: If you fit that description, don’t work for fat women if you can help it. Doesn’t apply in every case, but in more than a few it sure as hell does.

    • @Scottish, you have a point, about that. I think it just depends on the person.
      some people above are saying the unattractive people are scapegoats. Well, look what happened to Joseph Fritz’s daughter. She is supposed to be considered the most attractive of his daughters,(he even said so). and he used her and grossly victimized her. she was the scapegoat and suffered deeply. (she was aries sun/Scorpio moon/pisces venus/aries mars) which is weirdly trining his planets and opposition too.

      why do people need scapegoats anyway? why can’t everyone be FAIR, that everyone gets a turn? if in the case they need to even have scapegoating?

      isn’t Jesus Christ symbolically the scapegoat?? the sacrificed lamb?

  39. I’ve never really been a scapegoat in my own family growing up. But the family that I was born into is very Sag and Libra I wonder if that makes a difference? I’ve always found my natal chart to be boring because I have so much Sag in my chart.

    However, my husband is the scapegoat of the family he was born into and my children with him have been shunned as well. His mom tried to scapegoat me but she didn’t get far. I’m always civil and if she speaks to me, regardless of her tone, I respond evenly and measured. For some reason that really peeves her. That is not my problem it’s hers and she’s the one that has to own her anger and rage. That’s a burden that I refuse to carry for her. So I am seen as “arrogant “.

    I’m not sure about which zodiac sign is the scapegoat but I do see that when others are scapegoated it seems to come from people that are projecting the qualities/issues they find impossible to own onto others. My husband is still scapegoated and ridiculed by his own mom. But his mom had two children one is the “golden child” and one is the “scapegoat “. The “golden child” is now scapegoating my husband. She doesn’t do it with me, though.

    I’ve always wondered about the natal aspects and synastry aspects specifically in families that sets up this dynamic of scapegoating. I read above that someone here attributed it to their Chiron in Pisces conjunct their ascendant. My husband has the same aspect.

  40. I think Virgo. Just because Virgo can be critical of oneself and others can pick up that internal criticism/self loathing and act it out on them. Bullys usually target people with self worth issues. Virgo can be even more of a victim than Pisces.

  41. We turn! Venus-Pluto runs in the family and has for several generations. Each time we find a different scapegoat to blame of doing all kinds of things wrong and try to control their lives, instead of controlling our own lives.

  42. Does scapegoat mean victim? Then no I’m not. I’m a Capricorn goat who CHOSES to carry the family karma and ‘pay the price’ out of duty, loyalty, responsibility . . .and damn it, because no one else will do it. If that’s a scapegoat then I guess that’s what I am.

  43. Depends on what is meant by ‘slightly more attractive’. Does this mean in terms of beauty or more attractive to scapegoat?
    My experience is anyone who does not fit in. Beauty is often a factor, but credibility is certainly a close second. Pity those who have low credibility and are unattractive.

  44. People with prominent Chiron (on angles or in conjunction with luminaries) But the beauty is that those who’ve endure the Chironic pain can use that experience to mentor others.

  45. Scapegoat is a role, so you can only be it a certain group. The scapegoat is the one who, being slightly more attractive (or more intuitive or whatever) than the rest of the group, does not accept his uniqueness and would pay any price to be “like anyone else”. Then the group informs: Well, you can stay with us but the price is to carry our trash (dark side). In the past, they used to put a goat in the horse stables, so the goat would take over the diseases while the horses remained healthy. That’s where the name comes from.
    As for the zodiac, anyone with week boundaries, Pisces, Neptune.

  46. I am. What it boils down to is that I am a weirdo (Uranus in first) and therefore I’m the most obvious target/not “one of us.” I have Chiron on an angle too–house of enemies, I guess. Whee.

    There always has to be a target to abuse and I’m the best one for the job. Too different, so I’m hated.

    • Sounds familiar! Uranus in first, Chiron on my descendant (conjunction sun, Venus, and north node). Add to it a Scorpio Mars conjunction Saturn in the 12th (willing and able to hold more than my fair share of responsibility) opposite moon and Mercury (must serve, able to rationalize my emotions and can be manipulated into taking extra responsibility). Pluto in the 11th makes me stand out in groups, for good or ill.

      I am the family scapegoat and have moved halfway across the country to escape. It has been a battle since I finally stood up to my older sister, the golden child if you will, and cut off communication until she apologizes (still waiting 10 years later). My parents blame my younger sibling’s alcoholism on me for not speaking to my sister and thus ripping the family apart. Meanwhile, the older one lies, runs up credit card debt that my parents pay off, and steals from the younger one.

      I just want to be left alone and learned long ago not to accept anything from my parents because there are strings attached. A wedding was impossible so I eloped, and have not heard anything from my parents except a text to blame me again for my younger sibling landing in the hospital a month later. My mom is telling others that she is happy for me to save face, but I don’t know what else she is saying bc several extended family members have turned cold on me.

      It’s a really sad situation and kind of a taboo subject in public. While I feel badly for everyone else who finds themselves in this situation, I am thankful to hear and learn from how you all deal with it. Personally, I married the strongest man I have ever met, morally and otherwise, who helps me tremendously with standing up to my family and helping me understand the dysfunction is not my fault.

  47. I was/am the scapegoat of my family of origin, and oddly enough (not really as we seek out what we “know”) became the scapegoat of my family of marriage. Once I saw what was/had been happening, and realized there was no changing it as I have no allies, I jumped off the merry-go-round. Adios crazy eff’ers!! Scary as hell, lonely as hell at times, but oooh is my life so much better, calmer, and sensible. I am Cap Sun, Aquarius ASC, with Mars and Chiron in Pisces.

  48. I think the one who ends up the scapegoat is the one whos willing to take responsibility.

    Alan Watts tells this story and how people pass the buck and the line goes all the way back to satan in the garden of eden. He stayed silent when God asked him about it. Everyone else had an excuse. Now, good and evil aside, thats a great archetype for a scapegoat. We need someone to blame.

    Thats Pluto. Whoever is capable and willing of holding that shadow. The same case is happening as when I commented above several years ago. Same person. They messed up big time. But somehow Im still the bad guy for not just allowing someone who hurt me and threatened the safety of me and my son, and scapegoated me then, back into my life. Its a really baffling situation to be in. Just like before, Im not going to accept the role. Im not going to internalize it.

  49. Nope I’m highly Plutonic, I’m never the scapegoat, I choose and point out the scapegoats myself hahaha! (evil laughter! :p)

  50. I’m a scape-ricorn goat! – (sorry, I know not funny),seriously I don’t think Capricorn is the scapegoat of the zodiac, something perhaps with Libra (people-pleasing and helpful and irritating charm and diplomacy?- I have stellium in Libra including Mars….can you believe trying to be good to others – smiling and being positive – is a reason to be scapegoated…) or possibly Pisces, I have moon saturn vesta conjunct in 12th house, soft touch? empathy? I think perhaps anyone can be scapegoated for some reason or another, others feel challenged and threatened and target you – do your thing for the right reasons and if scapegoated, be proud of it.

    • I’m told that asteroid dejanira amd moon in 12th also play into the feeling of being a perpetual, unintentional victim. Both of which I have… Always got blamed for things I didn’t do, even if it was obvious that I did actually do my part to maintain status quo.

  51. 12th house mars and neptune conjunction with a sun and mercury conjunction in the 8th. Scorpio midheaven. My life, unfortunately.

  52. My dad was the scapegoat in his family and passed that down to me. I haven’t been willing to be in the position for years now, but it took a lot of modifying my own behavior and that was really hard! It still is sometimes. I have to be so super quiet so as not to provoke him. I have to let him think he’s so right, etc. But it keeps the peace and that helps my mom. My family is broken enough anyway, without the extra turmoil, and the turmoil is not worth it. (If it were, that would be different.)

    I think scapegoats often have a victim mentality. I had it for a little while. Why me? etc.

    Not sure who the scapegoat of the zodiac is, but it’s an interesting question!

  53. I think anybody who attracts attention, consciously or unconsciously might end up being a scapegoat. People only need a visible person to download their anger/frustaration/envy etc. onto them.
    Those flying below the radar usually don’t attract this.
    Then again, even a lowly worm can be a scapegoat, but perhaps you never hear them complaining – they’re quashed before that can happen.
    I guess it takes being on the “right side” or the “wrong side”, which is completely subjective.
    I don’t feel like a scapegoat, but don’t know why. Probably low visibilty.
    I think the scapegoat of the zodiac is Capricorn. They are so hard on everyone that it probably attracts aggressive reactions. Luckily, they are intouchable.

  54. Scorpio is often the scapeies…. My Scorpio planets are opposite Chiron. My Neptune is quincunx it too.

    My Chiron is conjuct fixed star Algol. If you read about the Medusa myth, you have the theme for my eternal wound… Medusa was originally a beautiful virgin in a temple until Aremis/Diana became jealous of her beauty and dignity.

    So yes, it is very possible that the pretty girl becomes the victim. I was the pretty one in my family, and now….? My mother does not want me in her life. My uncle (her brother) and his wife does not speak to me either.

    My Mother’s Saturn is conjuct my planets in Scorpio. There is no mercy, she can be so cold and judging and without much warmth. She has Virgo rising and Chiron in the 5th, and of all things, her Chiron is almost conjuct my Ascendant. Ouch!

    Moreover, my Mars is on the cusp of my 12th house. I am stoic, when I get angry, and have trouble defending myself. But as fishes does, I swim away. Don’t let them see my anger. I did with my mom, until she got tired of me and dumped me.

    I once read there are 7 types of roles in a dysfunctional family, and the scapegoat is only one of them. But actually I think there are several types of scapegoats.

    There is the proud, loud and fighting one. The one that doesn’t keep her/his mouth shut about the shitty shady stuff and gets ostracized. (That’s me)

    Then there is the silent/victimey one who is not good at defending oneself. Who does not understand why and seems helpless/drowning.

    Then there is the stoic one with ‘too much power’ – often the typical Scorpio rising who does not (on the surface) seem to bother and almost relishes in the other family members’ uncomfortable-ness when he/she is around. The one with the magnetic/powerful vibe.

    I think I will take on the last type of I am to be with the family again one day. The one who will regard the others with almost no attention. At least, that’s what I hope to do….

  55. I have been the family scapegoat since I was born – 69 years old this month and still the scapegoat, still the black sheep. It will never change. Finally learned to write family and many past friends off. If you read this and see yourself, do it sooner than I did. Double Libra, cardinal T-square, cadent houses, lots of 12th house.

    What people need to realize is that human nature requires that people have a need look down on other people. Many many people – too many – need a scapegoat and they hold on to it for dear life. Really the only thing you can do is walk away. That has been my experience. You can’t change them. Don’t even try.

  56. I think lots of 12th house is a problem with scapegoating. Also, heavy cardinal T-squares or Grand Cross. Maybe even Mutable which would make people kind of wishy-washy or changeable. I think “fixed” people tend to scapegoat others more than “mutable” or “cardinal” people do. Also, I think Libra and Pisces get a bad rap a lot of the time.

  57. All you have to be is different to be a scapegoat – the nail that sticks up gets hammered down.

    Try being unattractive and see what happens, and of the two I would rather be attractive than not.

    As Quentin Crisp said its better to be part of the majority.

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