Refusing To Do What’s In Your Own Best Interest

Have you ever refused to do something that you know is in your own best interest? I think this is common.

Deep down, a person may know what they should do, but avoid doing the thing.   For many, the knowledge is not even buried. It’s on their mind all the time, but they still still won’t do it.

Usually people resist because the thing they should do is HARD (Saturn).

Sometimes they are afraid (Saturn).

Sometimes, a person does not want to humble themselves (Saturn) so what happens is they fail (Saturn).

They fail (Saturn) at everything, over time (Saturn).

Recognize yourself?

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Refusing To Do What’s In Your Own Best Interest — 29 Comments

  1. Yes, I do recognize myself in this. I have Saturn in Sagittarius in the 10th house, and I have quite a few fears regarding 10th house and Sagittarian matters.
    I’m recognizing the ramifications of Saturn in Scorpio and my upcoming solar return pushing me to do things I may be reluctant to do. I fear disappointment or becoming less than who I am now, but I realize I may have to do a few things…

  2. Feeling this every waking and sleeping moment. With my Saturn Return, I have resolved to take an exam that will help me to have a license in my field. Up until this, I have thought I would fail (and I might still). But I’m okay with the possibility of failure. Someone on a forum shared a reminder to ask : What if I don’t? Seems obvious to do this, but increasing the frequency of asking it, rather than its cousin “What if I do?” has helped me.

  3. I have Saturn conjunct Moon in Pisces in 4th house and my Sun opposite Moon which doesn’t help either. I feel constantly stress even when i’m at home. My parents provide everything i need but they seem emotionally distant.

  4. I sure recognize myself in this scenario. There are things that I know I should do and for my benefit, that I just will not do and it is always on my mind. I have trouble with the statement that they fail at everything all the time, because this just isn’t true. I’m very successful at many things. I have a good heart and I’m a good person who serves many. Generous to a fault.

    4th house Saturn squaring sun and ascendant and opposing 10th house moon which square my sun and ascendant – Ouch. Life ain’t easy at all, but I’m doing a pretty damn good job, despite those things I just will not do.

    I do wonder however, why God, Spirit, the Universe whatever you want to call it would do this to a person who start this life just like everyone else, an innocent little baby. Why do that to a baby?

  5. Yes. Saturn in my 11th now. I need to redefine a friendship, and have been avoiding it. It’s like a link to the past, to the old me. It’s time to look ahead to the future. It is on my mind all the time, and the bell is sounding louder every day, to take a step into the future.

  6. I resemble that remark! My problem is that the thing that I am not addressing or working on is not only hard, it is outside of my values. I resent that I have to deal with it at all. I didn’t ask for it. I don’t want it. I’m not doing it. And that’s no answer, is it?

  7. Failure?It hould have been my real name says my family.On Monday I landed back in my home country after 18 years living abroad,I will face this shit and sort it out once and forever.This morning I amputated communication with my toxic sister.No more mercy.I keep falling into the same paterns trying to be accepted by people,who in fact,represent everything I despise. But going against it is not an option anymore neither,I’ve been in resistance all my life.Humble myslef?Didn’t work,I got used.You are right,I am afraid.I will not fight anymore,I will instead just REALLY remove myself from the family.It’s scary and I used to think it’s something I would eventually grow out of,but no,now I know It’s the only thing I can do for myslef.Saturn conjuncts my Leo IC and aspects every single planet in my chart.Oh yea!Bring it on!Elsa,you have kept me going through the dark these past months,you’ve helped me find my inner voice again,my wild woman.I thank you!Peace!

  8. Yes. I am going through my Saturn Return right now, and those words are ringing true. I don’t have any more time to f my life up, and I don’t want to be that person anymore. The faster I get down to it, the more I double check my work, get through my issues, take care of my body, work on connecting with others, make deadlines, appreciate others, and become clearer about what I want, the stronger I feel I’m becoming. Thanks Elsa for your kick-ass, punch-throw-walls posts. They’ve helped me so much these few years.

  9. Well, I certainly recognize myself in that description. It sometimes seems like my whole life has been governed by fear of one sort or another; I think it comes from a childhood spent being told my very being was not good enough, and it’s damned hard to overcome.

  10. Hard pattern to break. I find it is best to do it rather than have it forced onto me. natal pluto square saturn. Am looking at that right now while choosing my work environment focus. I had a bad run. Hired to do a job, gladly accept the challenge, but then the one who assigns me the job does everything in their power to prevent me from doing the job. I have to know that I am strong enough to put all that aside and keep focus. It was a repeating theme in all areas of my life since I re-located here. It could be a regional thing, but that can’t matter. Just have to deal with it and work smarter. The residual energy is like work interruptus: I set out to do it and then I internally experience that tear down I’ve experienced for too many years now. Yes, it can be an obstacle.

  11. Yes. With Saturn in my 2nd I’m taking a hit with my esteem. Don’t get me wrong in areas surrounding education and creating my dream career I’m gaining confidence in that sense. I know what I have to do and why. Where I’m struggling however is in the romance department and for reasons to do with my past I cannot seem to open up with people. I’ve met another guy who is so fantastic, so he seems right now, and I like him but no matter how much in the back of mind is there to call him I cannot do it. I don’t want to be close and it’s because as you say Elsa it’s hard and it’s hard to do. Even though I know it’s to my detriment. I want to get to know him but how am I gonna do that hiding behind indifference? I better just put my big girl pants on and get with it already. *sigh*

  12. Have you ever refused to do something that you know is in your own best interest?

    Sure have…. with habits. Bad habits. We all know better and we know some of them will/are killing us but we eat that junk, or smoke that cigarette…..

    :::slithers off to eat a big hunk of cake:::

  13. Can I relate? Yes and I’m worried. With Saturn conjunct ascendant and neptune, w/natal moon square cap saturn, and pluto transiting Saturn, you betcha dupa This is me, at least when I can focus in for the workload.

    Pluto sextile pluto exact at the moment, so you would think if ever there were a good time to transform, and what w/ mars about to go over twelfth libra moon here soon… You might say I am overwhelmed just a little. Haven’t even taken the time (Saturn) to say congratulations on the new site! Congratulations Elsa, and hi! Been missing you! This must’ve been a really heavy lift!

  14. Very helpful this has turned out to be. Something just wasn’t right. I needed to pin point it. I can do the field work, the data collection, the analysis, the reporting, and the recommendations. But I don’t do enforcement. It’s just that simple. I think I can head out there now understanding this about myself.

    And that other thing. Not my problem.

    • After my long ahhhhhh at releasing the heavy old albatross that didn’t belong to me, I had to laugh. Natal Mercury in libra. Libra supposedly has ‘trouble’ (but is it really trouble) with indecision. And here I am providing others with information so they can make decisions. 😀

  15. As a creative person, I find this thought to be very…unhelpful. I get caught in it all the time, being way too hard on myself. Yet the idea of, applied practicality, just does not inspire me to be practical. I wish it did! Because I think I’m very good at knowing what’s best for me! But instead it gives me anxiety and causes me to lock up… When I think about ways I could improve my life, I just tend to feel shitty and act depressed… until inspiration comes to me in its own time, and I forget about what I think I should do, then I can do better. Otherwise I am totally defeated when it gets to this point of beating myself up. You know, I’ll be thinking over and over, why can’t I just DO THIS?!?! But really, I find it more helpful to believe in God’s plan… relax… understand that there’s a reason that I have flaws, that I can’t do certain things. Once I let go of the anxiety, I can do what was laid out by HIM, rather than putting so much pressure on myself to do what I THINK is right. Who am I to think that my ideal ME is better than God’s intention for me. Eventually… I do something, and I’m doing a lot of good, so why stress over the good that I can’t do. I don’t know. Jupiter in my 9th trine Saturn in Sadge…. Saturn conj. 6th house cusp, opposite Chiron. And of course, 5th hosue Jupiter Moon. My idea of myself is so inflated, I will never live up to my standards! Gosh I need a Saturn person in my life right now. P.S. Hi! This is my first post on the new blog… and i think I’m abandoning my old name.

  16. I do have a slight itch in my crawl about this piece. The assumption that someone fails at everything. I think if I looked at someone that way, I would have to be honest and say I do not value that person. They do not meet my expectations of what success is. If a person feels like they fail at everything, I think they have the wrong idea of what success is to them and need to take another look. The person to me would most likely be trying to fit someone else’s idea of what success is. It is oh so important to allow myself to acknowlege and celebrate my successes dispite any nay sayers attempts to steal my thunder.

  17. It’s even harder to watch a family member, or parent in particular, fail to do such things. Of course, I do believe we all are guilty of this to some extent; it is a learning process, and the healthy among us keep working at removing obstacles (thoughts, emotions, beliefs, whatever kind of impediments we have) to doing what is in our own best interest. But for others to whom we are tied via familial lineage, it’s excruciating seeing these individuals fail to do what is in their best interest, repeatedly, and to deny the hard work (Saturn) needed to succeed in the long run (also Saturn?).

  18. Natal 12th house Saturn in Taurus.
    If that wasn’t tricksy enough, it opposes my Scorpio Mars in the 6th. The path to success in my life is comically cut and dried, like cartoon signposts at a crossroads but something in my stubbornly refuses to take the quickest route. It’s like I need the difficult or dangerous road, somehow learn more from it. Really tiresome at this point. Could have something to do with my Pisces Moon/Virgo Pluto opposition. It’s often hard to tell which planet has the upper hand, which energy I need to balance.
    It takes years sometimes to accomplish things other people seem to do effortlessly, and I repeat unconscious patterns until the lessons rise to the surface and are finally accepted by my Cap Sun.
    The good news is that Saturn does trine my Sun in the 7th. Great sustained efforts do not go unrewarded, and the bodhisattvas always seems to come along to teach my sorry ass.

    Right now, save me, it’s Pluto transiting my Sun. Saturn leaves my 5th in a few months to conjunct natal Mars.
    To quote Samwise Gamgee: “N-nothing important. That is, I heard a good deal about a ring, and a dark lord, and something about the end of the world, but please, Mr. Gandalf, sir, don’t hurt me. Don’t turn me into anything… unnatural.”

  19. I have a question… If you fail at a Saturn test, will you always be a failure it can you make it up later when its more convenient. All these astrology texts on the Saturn return say if you don’t mind Saturn at your Saturn return, you’re pretty much doomed and you can’t make it up until the next Saturn return 29 years later… :/

    Sometimes its hard to know what the right thing is to do. Does it always have to be drastic and obvious? Because while I feel I’ve changed since my Saturn return, I haven’t *done* anything yet…its been a change that happened mentally for me.

    Also do we still go through our Saturn return for as long as Saturn is in the sign of natal Saturn?

  20. I work too hard for all of the poor downtrodden, and I don’t take care of myself. I had someone dump another load of work on me today, and it looked all shiny and important, and he challenged me: can you handle it, or not? Yes, sir. I knew it was really beyond me, and I decided to go home early and regroup. I got home and threw myself into more work; physically digging out dirt to reinforce a post with concrete. Not exactly my kind of thing. But somebody told me it needed to be done, and here I was working some more, by myself, doing something I had tried and failed to delegate, in the hot son, on top of being overwhelmed already. I got my wakeup call. My faithful little dog who had been sitting beside me ran into the street and was hit. He lost his tail and broke his hip. He’s waiting for surgery now and he’s my family. And I knew he’d been unpredictable lately. I take responsibility.

    I’ve been seeing my blind spots of overwork and not prioritizing the things that are good for me and my own family, and I’m trying to deal, and now my dog is suffering hard. I still did what I do and worked too hard on the wrong things, neglecting the things that are important. I get that, but I still don’t see where I should have turned the off switch on in the chain of events that happened today. I would give anything to be able to turn back the clock on this!

  21. Tonight, I needed an answer… a guide. …or, something to get my brain going. I’m at a crossroads and I think it has something to do with my Saturn Return or maybe Uranus slowly moving closer to my MC? I want to know if the direction that I have decided to move towards is the right one, the right leap, the right time. I guess I’m looking for confirmation. …then I read this post and something lights up. Yessss, fear. I’m here, on the net at night, trying to discredit my fear. Gosh, I love information, research, libraries… I could swim in it all forever and ever – but that would be an escape. …and I realize the internet will never give me the answer, but it will inspire me. Maybe there is no answer anways… maybe there is only movement and then reaction. So, as much as I’d love to research out my life… my Aries MC is telling me to just push through the fear and go for it. There is no way of knowing other than doing… it’s exactly what you wrote, it’s a Saturn thing. I’m afraid to humble myself, to fail, to expose myself… it’s hard. Dear Saturn, I hear ya buddy. Thanks again Elsa for the inspiration!

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