Occasionally someone shows up here who knows the soldier in real life. Outside of his brother who likes to set a charge and can really set a charge, it is always immediately apparent because they say something identifying. All the remarks are positive and supportive of him except for that one guy who emailed to bitch me out once but his problem was with me not the soldier.
So last night I was going to bed and I saw this comment regarding the soldier in my imagination. I just imagined it, that’s all I can say because I was lying in bed not sitting in front of the computer.
The comment had that quality about it – I knew it was from someone who knew him so I checked the screen name in my imagination and it was someone new. Hmm, I thought. I wonder who that is.
Of course I knew the comment was not real and I wondered about it briefly before I fell asleep. Would the comment show up in real life?
I woke up to the alarm on my phone, alarmed because I felt so tired. I replaced my out of style phone with a new one which was defective. I got the replacement phone a couple days ago and had to re-set the alarms. I mistakenly set the afternoon alarm that reminds to go pick up Vid to AM but I didn’t know that when I got out of bed all sluggish and went to make coffee thinking, jeez I am tired. I also was aware I’d woken up from a dream and I was not too happy about it.
Since Pluto went into my 12th, I am dreaming nightly. Some of the dreams are disturbing, none of them are innocuous but for the most part I am liking them. This is one of the reasons the control freaks on my blog are bothering me so much these days. There has been a shift and I am doing all this communing with the ethereal these days. It’s like being thrown in a deep pool, I am trying to adapt and when people come along to instruct me around THEIR priorities, it’s very jolting. I am interested in the nuance now, see?
So anyway, I went into the kitchen to make some coffee and I realized I was dreaming about another comment in regards to the soldier. It was the same entity as the night before so now this seemed mysterious.
I made the coffee, feeling tired as hell, thinking I would never make it to the gym today and then sat down in front of the computer to do my morning things, namely dig your comments out of the spam filter and tend the Astro Dispatch. It did not take long for me to notice it was 2 in the morning – CRAP.
Well I’ve got no need to be up at 2 in the morning but I also recognize this fact about Uranus transits… sometimes you can’t sleep. But I was really interested in that comment so I thought I should try to go back to sleep so I shut off the coffee and went back to sleep but no dice. All I could think about were those comments!
So I complied. I really think if something is on your mind, you ought to honor it so I went ahead and turned into the wind to face this and see if I could parse whatever message I was supposed to take from this and that’s when I realized (I am pretty sure) the comments could only have come from one person and they are dead.
When I thought this I laughed out loud. Dead people don’t talk to me at all, save Scott’s sister and she only rarely comes along. People think I commune with Henry and they think wrong. Henry doesn’t talk to me at all but as I lie there I could see the intricacy of the code which I acknowledge may be a code or just as likely my own imagination. But point is, this person identified themselves… and it makes you smile when you figure it out.
It’s like the time the soldier’s brother came on and wrote all this stuff that got the soldier INCENSED. The soldier reacted completely. He was up on his toes yelling at the commenter, “You tell that motherfucker this, this and this!!” And I did. I wrote his comments in response and a few minutes later it dawned on me.., “Hey wait a minute, this is your brother…”
Once it had occurred, it was obvious. The comment was custom made to provoke and had his brother’s hand all over it. It also had the misspellings that are characteristic of his family because they speak too many languages. So this was like that. You just know who is communicating.
There are other pieces and parts to this quilt but the soldier made a comment the other day, he said that maybe someone might have something good to say about him after he dies. That’s another topic but I am pretty sure someone has something good to say about him after they die so I will tell him that today. And I will be able to see if he can make sense of the screen name, see. Because I am pretty sure it’s not random.
Years ago when the soldier read my other blog for 3 years, he surfaced to comment a few times, he says he just couldn’t help it. He posted anonymously using SF code or in some cases, this dead friend’s name! So maybe this guy figures… well I don’t know what he figures but the soldier probably will.