Ever see the movie “The Help”? Hysterical. Minny gets fired for daring to use the “white” toilet so she goes home and makes a chocolate pie for Miss Hilly and adds her own excrement to the mix in order to effect “terrible awful” revenge. If that isn’t Pluto/Venus, I don’t know what is!
In our own lives, Pluto/Venus people usually suffer some kind of wounding with regard to love early on. It’s terrible-awful. They believe love isn’t safe, that abandonment and betrayal are just around the corner. I myself have a heavy Pluto/Venus signature, with a Pluto/Venus conjunction and a stellium of Scorpio planets in the 7th house. I have lived a life of loving people who were destined to betray me. But one year, I decided to delve really deep into that, get to the root of that belief system. It happened to be pre-verbal, so it was very very hard to access, but I got there. And realized that my hope behind all those doomed relationships was that the men would make up for the original wound; i.e., they would repeat the behavior (Pluto/Venus- resurrect the pain from the past), then apologize and make good on it. Make my pain go away. Heal it. Heal the boo-boo from long ago. From the original wound.
Well, that’s an exercise in futility… isn’t it?
So I learned whose job it was to heal it. Yeah, damn it. My job. This meant that I no longer allow the wound’s scab to be ripped off and the wound reopened. Now, it’s tricky because every relationship will, to some extent, threaten that wound, because we’re VULNERABLE (anyone with Pluto/Venus or heavy Scorpio stuff knows this feeling and is not exactly comfortable with it). But it’s the picking of the partner that holds the key. Some partners are just “walk-away Joes”. They are destined, like the song says, to be a leaver. Our souls know it when they see it. They know immediately if someone’s an abandoner (alcoholics, drug addicts and married people we fall in love with, just as examples). So you have to make this deal with your soul that YOU WILL NOT ABANDON IT ANY LONGER, by leaving its care with someone who is going to betray and abandon it. So no more wishful thinking when it comes to picking a partner. That’s the first part. Picking someone solid, who right-off-the-bat isn’t going to leave when they see the first crazy that comes out of you. ‘Cause there’s going to be crazy. The reaction and fear of betrayal won’t disappear, it’s the management of that reaction that is the work. And it can only be worked when brought out in the open and shared with the person who is triggering that reaction. The wound must be exposed (not OPENED) and aired, in order to heal. Get the difference? Opening the wound means you have picked yet another person who is a reincarnation of the Original Betrayer. Exposing the wound means you have picked someone who can stand there while you are twisting and turning and muttering and fearing, and who can hold that space for you, knowing that you will get over the crazy and come back. But it’s your job to make sure you get over the crazy. It’s your job to make sure you come back. This is the gift of Pluto/Venus. YOU love yourself to bring yourself back. The fact that someone is there waiting is just icing on the cake.
What is your “terrible/awful” and how do you heal yourself?