This won’t mean much if you’re new around here but I got into a dialogue with SaDiablo about Scott and more specifically the demise of our friendship. He’s the pianist.
Now I met Scott when I was 15 years old and working in his mother’s bar. (I met the soldier when I was 17). Scott was a boy genius… a prodigy on the piano and we started dating.
Now we got along fabulously but never for long. In fact we could not function in a relationship for more than a couple weeks but this did not stop us from getting into one again and again and again over the course of 17 years! And even if we were not dating we were generally friendly during that time, for example he helped me with that sexual harassment lawsuit I filed that I never mentioned to the soldier. You know. He is off rescuing the hostages in Iran. I am filing a lawsuit that will help set precedent for Anita Hill and the like and no one has a clue.
But anyway, 17 years after we met we did have a fight to beat all fights and did not speak for nearly a decade mostly because I went underground for various reasons and no one could find me. But eventually he did find me and though we never got romantically entangled again, we were close friends and he treated the hell out of the people who read my (old) blog at the time by writing “his side of the story” which was very embarrassing for P, except he doesn’t call me, P, he calls me, Elsie.
So anyway, you think your friendship is pretty secure at this point. We talked almost daily, sometimes multiple times a day because well… Scott and I just like each other but by God if he didn’t go down just as Pluto left my 11th house (You lose your FRIENDS).
How the hell do you lose a friend of 30+ years, hmm? Well it happens and this is what lead me to write when I asked what beliefs (Sagittarius) had bit the dust (Pluto) during the transit of Pluto through Sadge. And what I found out was that just because you know someone for 30 years does not mean you will know them for 31! Trip, eh?
It’s a complete and total trip. *nodnod*
I was thinking about this while I was running errands. Scott and I share an Aquarius moon and a Mars-Venus-Pluto conjunction, although it’sin different signs. I don’t know what’s going on in his chart, but my conjunction trines that tricky-ass moon and I’ve been known to be friends with someone for years until they cross some boundary, one I might not even know is there, and I can no longer be friends with them. It’s like I can’t summon the feelings anymore, it’s just not there. I can mourn the friendship and deplore the space between but I just can’t find any genuine emotions for that person.
It sucks, and is also sad but true. 🙁
“And what I found out was that just because you know someone for 30 years does not mean you will know them for 31!”
Yes, it’s true. Maybe because I was a kid (and thus forming) when Pluto transited my 11th House I feel this to be true. I recently had a friendship of 18 years end. My friend and I had many many good times (her mother housed me when I was homeless when I was 17) and many many bad (she ignored me after my SO almost died after an accident).
We always made it through.
Until her wedding…I flew out for it and her behaviour was horrific. Part of the reason it bothered me so much is that it felt like super-fucked family dynamics. You know…the ‘I know you forever so I’ll shit on you when I’m down’ business.
I waited 6 months (I’m a Taurus, okay) and then wrote a letter. She responded with incredulousness that I’d ‘be so harsh.’ She then insisted I was ending the friendship. I wrote back I wasn’t. I wanted honesty. She wrote back she couldn’t believe someone would be so harsh with someone they knew for 2 decades.
I wrote, in the spirit of me frustrated that she NEVER SAW ME, “I’ll eliminate anything that no longer helps me, but instead harms me, and no I’m not talking about YOU but I need you to understand who I am!”
Again, the reply and insistance I was ending the friendship. I wrote “I’m attempting to deepen our friendship further with honesty. I love you.”
I never heard from her again, and yes you can lose a friend like that.
How sad and frustrating, kashmiri.
I’m drifting apart from a friend I’ve known almost as long because it seems like she isn’t happy with the person I am (and have been for a while). We used to be tight-tight and I just don’t know how to smooth it out without pandering. *le sigh* At least we still talk sometimes, though. I hate losing friends. . ..
Yeah…I dunno. I know it seems sad on the outside, but to me the frustration became too much.
I need to be seen for who I am, ya know? I also have a 1st House Moon (everyone thinks they know how I feel/am, all the time, it’s really quite boring).
Another part of the reason why I waited 6 months is because I KNEW she’d think I was pissed I wasn’t a bridesmaid. I’m a fucking Cap Moon with Saturn in Leo! You think I want to be a bridesmaid? Do I fuck! I want to drink and watch you WORK! LOL!
Yeah…she was convinced it was that too, and there was nothing I could do to convince her otherwise. She’d been telling me “You’re X, Y, Z” since I was 12 years old and I may as well been her favorite barbie shhe invented stories about.
Oh yes. She’s a Cap Sun with a Moon in Cancer. Hello Cardinal City? I’m not playing any more!
*lol* I’ma hafta remember that Cardinal City line for future use. 🙂
Described further, yeah, it’s not so sad. Well, only the ordinary kind of sad, not the crazy-ish betrayal kind of sad I thought it was the first time.
it’s weird to lose a connection that’s stood up to time that way.
LOL at Cardinal City! I had a high school friend and we roomed my freshman year at college..she is Cap Sun Aries asc stellium in Virgo. She used to lay out my clothes ironed on the mornings I had classes that were in the same buildings as hers. Were talking a school of 50k students, but she was afraid someone would see me looking shabby and it would reflect on her. She had a lot of good qualities that I miss sometimes though.
Well, I don’t have any friends and I would love to have some 🙁 Mine fell off pretty quickly too.
Cardinal City? Now I know where I live.
I have 5 of the 10 traditional planets in cardinal signs. My husband has 7 of 10, including a cardinal cross. Our composite has 7 of 10.
I suppose it’s the mutable sign placements that keep us on the map!!!
I’m a Cap sun and I don’t even iron my own clothes. The clothes dryer does that. I don’t want to be bothered with it.
Pluto is moving through my 8th house, inconjunct my 4th house natal moon. My daughter moved out during this transit.