Interesting happening, last night. I went to practice with our kid band. There were twelve people in the room. Thirteen, if you count me.
“The room” is a kid’s bedroom in someone’s house with two full beds in it it, so we were pretty packed in there, ringing the perimeter of the room, with the beds jutting out. We were singing / playing when something came to mind. I started crying.
I was next to the Scorpio mom. She’s super smart and emotionally sophisticated. She’s also got awesome boundaries, and she’s a highly moral person. She’s kind, thoughtful and anything you might tell her goes right into a vault.
I thought she probably knew I was crying. There were enough tears I had to wipe my face, several times. We were standing one foot apart. I quit singing here and there, as I tried to compose myself.
There were people facing us on the other side of the room. Five of them. I wasn’t wearing my glasses so I couldn’t make out their faces that well. Bottom line, this was band practice and it would have been impolite for anyone to draw attention to me. I surely wasn’t going to say anything.
I got myself together on the second go-through of one of the songs. We were there another forty-five minutes, before I decided I should head out. My husband was there, playing guitar, faced away from me. He’d come from work, I’d come from home to meet him there so we had two cars. My involvement in the band is minor next to his. I lead the kids on two songs, where he plays on all of them. So I was going to leave early, take care of the dogs, check on my class, etc. But when I crossed the room to tell him I was going to slip out, he seemed to want to leave too.
“Do you want me to give you an excuse to leave too?” I whispered. Answer, yes.
Next thing you know, he’s packing up his guitar and his amp. I was helping. The Scorpio mom came out in the hall to talk to me, say goodbye or whatever. She always walks us to the door. She always offers to walk us to our cars! She hugged me and then quite surprisingly, one of her daughter’s hugged me. She has four daughters. This particular girl is eighteen years old. “Thanks so much for coming here to practice with us. I love it when you do…”
Next thing you know, we’re downstairs at the front door. Or at least of group of us were. My husband and I, the Scorpio mom, her husband, and two or three of the daughters. Several of them seemed to be looking at me quizzically. I decided to say something.
“I guess you realized I was crying in there,” I said, addressing the Scorpio mom. “I’m sorry…”
She shook her head and looked shocked. “No,” she stammed.
“I did,” the eighteen year old, said. Her mother opened her eyes, wide. This is how it is for mothers when your kids do things you don’t know about.
“That’s why you hugged..?”
“Well, thanks for that. That was kind. I’ll tell you why I was crying so you won’t have to be curious…”
By now, my husband was wondering too! First he knew of it. So I explained the situation and the specific part of it that caused me to become overwhelmed. Everyone standing on that porch understood the poignancy of the situation.
The girl who felt for me has a Pisces Moon and Venus in Cancer. Sounds like it, huh?
And here is a bonus for you…
While this was happening on the porch, this woman was upstairs in the bedroom. I wondered if I would hear from her today, nosing into my business. But I did not.
I woke up to an email her this morning, but it did not mention anything about this and I know why. It’s because this family has boundaries. They don’t feel the need or entitled to go spreading the news of your life around. This used to be common courtesy but now? Now, you pretty much have to keep your mouth shut about everything, all the time.