I have this idea that if I want to tell bawdy off-color stories, I best do it while Jupiter is in Sagittarius because I am pretty sure Jupiter in Capricorn is going to restrict such things. So on that note, this is the soldier relaying a time he was a real pain… just incorrigible.
“I’d just got in from the field and you just can’t send a man out for 9 months and expect him to come back and act normally. It takes awhile to settle down. But anyway, I’d just got back in and I was tired. And I was in this bar in my civilian clothes and here comes in (forgot the rank, but his superior). He was in civilian clothes too and he said, get out of here. I’m putting you on guard duty tonight.”
“Yeah?” (swearing below the break)
“I’m not on guard duty tonight, I said. This is my day off. I don’t give a fuck about your day off. Fuck your fuckin’ day off. You get your ass up and get out there and do guard duty and you do it right now this fuckin’ instant.”
“Yeah, so I got up and on the way out, I had to pass through the pool room. There was a pool room back there.”
“Yeah, and it was full of these 7th infantry guys. Whole bunch of them back there, getting drunk and shooting pool. So I said, say! You guys infantry? I was wearing my civilian clothes, see. They didn’t know who I was. Are you from the 7th infantry, I asked. Yeah we are, they said. What about it, motherfucker?”
“Yeah, they were like that. They were back there getting drunk and acting like men. Well didn’t you guys kick some ass? I heard you really kicked some ass in Panama, I told them. You did kick some ass! And they said, YEAH! Fuckin’ A we kicked some ass! We kicked the living shit… they said all this stuff to me, they were all hotted up. They were all telling me how badass they were and I let them. And I said, well that’s what I heard. I heard you guys were something and now there’s a guy out there in the front and he’s saying you guys didn’t do shit in the war. He says, 7th infantry is a bunch of pussies, who didn’t do a damned thing in that war!”
“Yeah, and they wanted to know who, so I told him what the guy was wearing, what he looked like and then I got the hell out of there. That was one of the worst things I ever did to a person come to think of it. Because 10 guys ran out of there to kick his ass.”
“What did you do?”
“Went on guard duty like I was supposed to. I don’t know nothing. What do I know? I was on guard duty…”
Whew. Careful who you piss off.
I chose the painting because that’s Mars trying to have a day off, huh? So what do you think would happen if you bothered him right then?