People Who Bring Out The Worst In You

Most of us have met someone (and perhaps dated or married them) who brought out the worst in us, whatever that might be.  Raging jealousy, insecurity, addictive or compulsive behavior, etc.

What do you think is the appeal with this?  Can you tie the astrology?

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People Who Bring Out The Worst In You — 27 Comments

  1. maybe it’s good/cathartic to have an excuse to express your darker side? through someone else’s triggering it. since we keep it under wraps so much, and we like having someone to blame for it…?

  2. I’m a Gemini and I dated another Gemini and we were just bad for each other. She was using me (I’m gay, but this was when I was still in the closet)and I was using her to keep up the image that I was heterosexual. Naughty, naughty of us. In the end we both just couldn’t keep using each other and the relationship ended!

    It wasn’t just that. We both got on each others’ nerves! And we both disagreed on so many things that we fought like 2 lions. The only thing compatible about our charts was our Suns, but almost everything else was square.

    I’ll admit, it was low of me to use someone like that, but hey we’re talking about my shadow here. LOL. She never found out I was gay because she moved far away before I came out.

    Love other Geminis, but with this Gemini, we brang out the worse in each other!

  3. We initially hit it off, and there were more good feelings than negative ones. That quote from Anais nin (I think), comes to mind, about the pain from staying in the bud? They were definitely a catalyst for change.

    It bothers me. I’ve never had a connection like that before. There seems to be love there, and I won’t get into the rest. We had a packed eighth house in the composite – with a stellium in Aries/Taurus opposing Uranus.

  4. wow,been there done that,leo and scorpio, the sex was great but the rest was very opposing, very exhausting most of the time,she was very analytically and I couldn’t care less,enough already

  5. While the conditions you listed do not feel good, applying myself full force to something does feel good. I don’t know about composites, and all I can remember from reviewing the old relationship charts is that planets in leo were a common theme. High maintenance. Worked until I was drained. Actually considered a relationship with a leo sun, but his bar was way too high. How could he love me, he was so far above me. I am not trashing leos, it’s just my energy setup.

  6. I agree with Mermaidhair. One of my former best friends has her Venus exactly conjunct my BML, and people have pointed out that we brought out the worst in eachother, but it was more like we felt comfortable expressing our dark sides and it was enjoyable. People who bring out the worst in me that I really can’t stand to be around, on the other hand, usually have their suns exactly square my sun. Sounds simplistic but I’ve noticed it to be a pattern among the people I really dislike for no particular reason.

  7. Capricorn suns, no matter the chart… Just Capricorn suns alone bring out the worst in me. They play games, talk too much, feel the need to be in control, project and don’t even realise it. They’re too restrictive for me and always harp about the badness and problems instead of the optimism and this need to dominate.

    My major fixed, watery chart won’t have any of it due to me wanting freedom, Aquarius Mars and Uranus and Saturn in Sadge. Plus Scorpio Sun, Venus R and Mercury R which doesn’t allow me to be possessed, which I do and don’t do because my Mars knows about individuality in each and every person. Plus other planets in Pisces including my moon which needs to dream and believe.

    Caps need to see tangible results and only believe in tradition, not all just the majority I have met. I’m always thinking of the future and what I need to do to get to that future and need the freedom to do so. (I’m repeating but I’m ranting *wry smile*).

    Any way to the Caps who are lovely I’m sorry to speak bad and ill of you. Its just my perspective and the experience I have had with the minority.

  8. My first thought is that it’s our shadow side. It’s the thing we want to avoid but our soul knows we can’t so we choose the situation that will throw light on it. Meh…I seem to have a lot of shadow I have hidden from for 40-some years!

    (I’ve missed this place. I’m working three part time jobs and finally doing some work on my own locally so time is increasingly limited, but I need to be here every day!!!! Once I get through the weekend things should calm a bit. Blessings and hellos to all!)

  9. Brings out the worst as per the list above, and the best I didn’t even know I had … and worst is being turned into best, after a lot of honesty towards myself.

    The astrology? Lots of mirrored energy but I wouldn’t know how to pin it down to one aspect.

    • As an analogy of for my situation, I see this like my husband’s time in the military. He did his duty and he never slacked. This is undeniable.

      He then came to a point of separation with the service. He has done whatever he’s done to resolve his life and lets say 20 years pass and the Army comes knocking on his door.

      Well, hey. He is a soldier and always will be but what he doesn’t want to fight for this army any more? You can’t just draft him back in. He may have skills that are needed but it really doesn’t matter if he’s done his hitch.

      I think this scenario is similar to mine. I may be a service person but at this point I have an option who I serve. I don’t think my husband wants to re-connect with the Army he left (I don’t think his Army even exists anymore) and I don’t want to reconnect either.

      Now will this be detrimental to the entities that want our service? Possibly. But our dues ARE paid and baby? They are paid in spades.

  10. People are untrustworthy: too ambiguous, or hypocritical, wishy-washy, lack self-awareness, two-faced.

    I feel like I’ve done the hard work to de-program myself, get my prejudices to a minimum, so that I can give anyone the benefit of the doubt. The people who bring out the worst in me are the ones I feel take advantage of this well-meaning side of me. I give people a lot of space so they can interact with me from the comfort space of their own boundaries. Most people react positively to this, and if the shoe fits, a friendship grows and deepens organically. But a few people really just don’t give a crap, and feel entitled to be soul-suckers, refuse to see you as an equal or an individual. If I can help it, I run in the other direction, no looking back!

  11. I had a friend who brought out the worst in me, security speaking. She had a 7th House Libra Stellium that aspected my Pluto. Our friendship brought me to a place of incredible insecurity, however when I ended it I felt empowered. I think that’s telling of my own darker drives.

    So in a way–I agree with mermaidhair. Subconsciously I needed her. I think subconsciously I was looking for someone to tear me down; maybe without her I wouldn’t have felt quite so good when I bounced back.

  12. Painful Liliths conjunct Chiron both ways – double whammy, we can see it may be ultimately healing but may not get through it…:( Possibly too intense, a Pluto Conjunct Venus as well, the rest is amazing

  13. Wow. Great question. About four years ago, I dated this guy off and on for just a little over two and half years. It was a nightmare. To this day, I can still say, it was the worst relationship of my life. I even lost a couple of friends during the process (which actually, turned out to be a good thing). And the friends that did see me through that awful relationship said they had never seen me so sad. I had to go to therapy to get better. I had to go to Alnon. I was an emotional wreck. It was like there was a force that had taken over me. He brought out the worst in me. I was constantly hooked by his psychological mind babble. It kept me in a mental fog. During that toxic period of my life, I read a book called “Getting the Love You want,” which discussed ‘Imago’ relationships, and explored this idea: the person that can wound us the most is also the person that we can most heal with. It gave me starting point to view how I was getting hooked by that person. The author, Hendrix, asserts that when we have rejected parts of ourselves, parts of our personalty in shadow that the other person mirrors to us, we can find ourselves drawn to that person, and emotionally and psychologically hooked by them. I actually found some the writing to be accurate and helpful. And by some divine grace & support from the people around me that cared, I crawled out of that situation. (imagine the Devil card in the Tarot) I broke free from the chains that were binding me.

    A part of me have to die to get out, in order for other parts of myself to live. I wished I had learned the things I learned about myself in a more kind and loving way. I had to learn how to establish better boundaries, and discover that just because I have a high threshold for pain, doesn’t mean I have to live from that place. I want to live from a high threshold of kindness and happiness.

    He was a double Cancer by the way. I don’t know what else lingers in that man’s chart. I guess more importantly, I need to learn about how my own chart works.

  14. I am an Aries, Cancer Asc, Cap Moon, Venus in Pisces. I have to say that Aqua males bring out the worst in me. If we are platonic friends then it works. But, I can’t date them. I am too straightforward and too strong…but, they view me as a challenge and so they never go away. WTH?

  15. @true blue,

    Powerful, thanks 4 sharing that. I’m off and on in a relationship and he has sag-sun, gemini moon, venus-scorpio, jup and mars in pisces and ascendant in virgo, and boy does he bring out all of my my dark fears. I’ve been an emotional wreck. No guy has had such a connection to my emotional self ever. It has been painful. Feels like i’ve been fighting myself.

    Anyway that book sounds worth purchasing.

  16. There are a few people that get on my last nerve immediately. Everything that comes out of their mouth infuriates me. I cannot totally separate myself from them, so I limit my contact as much as possible. I’m either totally keeping my mouth shut, or yelling at them for their stupidity.

    I HATE this kind of interaction. The older I get the more my Pisces Moon, Chiron, Mercury and Jupiter wants complete and total compatibility in relationships. I’m tired of trying to relate. Either we get along or we don’t.

  17. Sun in Cancer people, every time. I can’t get along with a single one after about a month. It’s worse the more planets in Cancer they have. The astrology? Cancer planets will square my 6th house stellium which includes the heavyweight planets Saturn and Pluto (Mercury is bros with them in my chart). Cancer suns go complete psycho freak-out mode when they see the Saturn or Pluto square coming. Capricorns are much more mature to handle the squares from the other side.

  18. Scorpio, Cap moon, Sag Ascendant with Leo father who must control everyone and everything. Don’t know his moon, but I bet it’s in water, because he is so conflicted and hypersensitive.

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