One-Sided Conflict: “I Beat Him Up For 3 Hours (or 3 Years) And Then That MF’er Left!”

Libra vintage enamel broochlillyk writes on More Facts To Deny:

“Elsa, I think that one of the biggest lessons I have received from you, is that not everyone thinks the same, acts or reacts the same, etc. Many years ago, I used to get very frustrated with people when they didn’t know the things I know or think the way I think. It literally shocked me when I realized this was normal, and I have you to thank for that…’

lillyk, that’s a big one. It’s probably the number one thing to get a handle on if you want to fare well with Saturn in Libra and relationships in general. Some spend their entire lives wringing their hands trying to figure out why someone doesn’t act or think in accord with them when their course of action or mode of thinking would never enter the other person’s reality in a million years. They also only see their side of a conflict.

As an example a woman will berate a man. She’ll just verbally beat the hell out of him, in effect swinging her purse full of rocks at him over and over. He leaves of course and then she is baffled.

She is even more baffled when I tell her that if she swung her purse at me like that, I’d leave too. “Who in their right mind would not?” I ask. “If you came to my house and I started beating on you, would you not leave at your earliest convenience?”

This is a big disconnect too. People just don’t register what they put others through but it’s pretty simple. If someone someone doesn’t want to be around you, they probably have a reason and it is not necessarily the one you supply. Matter of fact it is rarely the one you supply.

Here is an eye-opener:

“Is it reasonable to expect a person to be like me?”

The answer is no.  It is reasonable to expect a person to not be like you.

It is also reasonable to expect a person to eject you from their life if you are a pain in the ass and this is true whether you think you are a pain in the ass or not.

It is their life, their pain and their ass so this is their call, see?

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One-Sided Conflict: “I Beat Him Up For 3 Hours (or 3 Years) And Then That MF’er Left!” — 8 Comments

  1. This is a great eye opener for sure. It’s hard though as a water sign to not feel wounded when people pretend to like you, then hit you with a purse of rocks over and over but you don’t know why they are doing it. It may be their pain and their ass but why are they taking it out on you?

  2. it works the other way around for me,not long ago i left a guy (aries sun/mercurry/venus) because he flat out refused to take my needs seriously.he’d just shout me down ,but if i ever raised my voice to him i was depicted as some kind devil woman. when i finally dumped his ass he just would not accept it nor does he admit his childish and abusive behavior was wrong.

    and nothing infuriates me more than unfairness so i do tend to get into a whole lot of arguments with people who who just refuse to see things from another persons point of view especially if it’s a woman who’s not being heard.

  3. It was a very big lesson, and has made my life infinitely “easier” since learning it. It has saved me MUCH frustration 🙂

  4. seeing it writ up bold makes it easier to recognize when i’m making that presumption. it’s shocking how different other people can be from me… and i like it, but it means i need to practice being waaaaay more flexible in my perspective.
    which is, in general, good exercise…

  5. My first thought is that if everyone was just like me, what a boring world it would be, he he. Although I used to and can still become angry at blindness and injustice as noted from my perspective. I am trying to learn not to push back….

    You are so right on about the way we treat people without being aware. I have a friend, she was Always putting her man down, didn’t seem any love was lost. Then as a game, he threatened to leave, and she realized that she really loved him. Really, I said. Well then don’t diss him anymore to his face. So he comes home, and it’s business as usual.

    I think it would beneficial for many couples to video cam or just sound record their interactions for a few days, I think it would be a shocker for a lot of people.

  6. Yanno, Mari, I was toying with that idea myself. I’d actually like to see what I look like to other people without having to filter it through their senses… everything gets too muddy that way. An objective tape, though, no editing? Ideal.

  7. Thank you for this, Elsa. This is such a great article post this extremely volatile election cycle. So many people divided and name-calling each other. So many people wondering how the other “side” voted unlike theirselves. So much anger and projection right now. “How can’t “they” see _____ issue?”

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