I have a friend who is about twelve years older than me. We are not that close but I am always reaching out because I want to be good friends with her. She does not reply most of the time. I’m that annoying young girl that bugs her about random things & invites her to hike with me weekly.
I know she is going through a hard time right now. Verge of divorce, possibly depression. I want to help her and talk to her but she won’t open up at all to me. I feel like she hates me but I cannot stop thinking about reaching out to her. She’s a Scorpio which could probably explain everything. I just feel this insane need to help her. This has been for almost a year & I’ve made no progress. I have looked at her chart and some of the things she’s going through is explained in her transits, etc.
I don’t even really know what I’m asking you to do but maybe see if this obsession with me wanting to help her or be her friend can be explained from your point of view.
Obsessed in America
Hi Obsessed. You want my opinion; I think you’re badgering this woman is appalling. However, this was just my gut reaction. I put myself in this other woman’s situation and I just want to slap you. I’m sorry, but I’m explaining…
In reality, I am not this woman. When I remove myself from the equation, the fact that she responds at times, would lead me to suppose that she does not hate you. That does not mean you should double down on your phone calls! You should do what you’re doing – ask for help!
First thing – people are not property. This woman is not an object you can acquire.
Secondly, when you know a person is under stress, the last you should do is pressure them. Giving them space and leaving your door open is generally best. To be clear, I imagine myself on the verge of divorce and depression – there is no way in the world, I want to go hiking!
Third, if you truly care for this woman, you will put her needs in front of your own.
You see yourself as trying to help, but in reality, you’re showing yourself to be very high maintenance. This is not a putdown! Some don’t realize, people with lives and jobs and marriages and/or kids may not be able to be in touch once a week, never mind, get together with someone that frequently. If this were me, I’d be scared to death to go anywhere with you; afraid it would lead you to step up your demands.
Scorpio pulls their horns in when they’ve got problems. They clear out everything extraneous and work with what is essential. This is most likely what’s going on.
Looking at your chart; this seems to be a lesson in boundaries for you. Saturn is transiting your 7th house, due to conjunct your Moon in Capricorn. You think this woman needs you, but you are the one with the needs. She needs you not to burden her!
Please try to learn the lesson being presented. This song might help. It’s memorable. “How Can I Miss You If You Won’t Go Away”
If you want to fix this, let the woman know that she can contact you for any reason at anytime. Then leave! Seriously! If she’s desirable as a friend, she’s certainly smart enough to receive your message and act on it when and if she pleases, without being reminded!
Last, you’ll fare better in sorting things in your life if you’ll look at your transits rather than theirs, for insight.
Have a question about astrology or life? Ask here! Also, please include your location. It adds a layer of interest!
“You’ll fare far better if you look t your transits rather than theirs”
Good reminder. My daughter’s 5 planets in Sag in my 8th. I stalk her, it’s true. I recently told her she does not have to call me until she wants to. No guilt calls allowed. We need space for new relating to emerge, it’s just too much controlling. I feel awful after talking to her truth be told. The depth and beauty of all this Capricorn stuff, a clear, sober look at our actions and how they affect others and the strength to stop.
Its amazing how so many people truly believe that they are somehow supporting a Scorpio type, when really they are just stressing them out with their need for attention. They think they want to help but really they just need something/energy from the Scorpio type.
Why is it attractive? Thats its nature. Alternately repellent too. Its just the way that the energy expresses itself.
Not sure if I answered your question but Im not quite sure what you mean, without more context. Maybe someone else will have more thoughts. I think it would be a good question to ask on the forum. You’ll probably get more responses.
I don’t get it either, but then again, I don’t fall for Plutonian mind games easily, either.
I don’t chase after people who want nothing to do with me.
It is not always true in my experience. Not even close. It is the exception not the rule. That is why cookbook astrology sucks. One in three folks have either a Sun Moon or Asc in Scorpio. Is every third person you meet someone people just cant get enough of? I think not.
I have also met quite a few people with Sun conjunct Pluto who are absolutely nothing like a Scorpio. I never felt one was piercing into my soul.
Never. Not once. My step sister has the Sun in Libra conjunct Pluto and I never felt it.
Elements matter a lot. An air sign, even with Pluto is not like Scorpio.
I know this Libra Sun conjunct Pluto woman with her Mercury, Venus and Mars and Uranus in Scorpio who is the one who is obsessed with a Scorpio Sun man right now. She is the one grubbing for his energy, big time. It is interesting, but goes to show that Scorpio energy in the chart is not always so self sustaining and it doesnt always mean power. The Sun in a womans chart is usually projected onto the man as with Mars.
The moon is just subjective. Has little to do with outward personality…it has more to do with instictive reactions.
Food for thought
Liar! And BS
not sure if you’re replying to me.
But I have Venus in Aquarius. So yeah, it’s not BS. I hate to admit, I do have a bias AGAINST Scorpios, SOMETIMES. I lived with one that would gaslight me, and do underhanded things to me. Add to that, one Scorpio boyfriend would play mind games with me, a lot.
I’ll admit, my tone, and the way I replied to this writing was kinda catty. But yeah, some people defend Scorpios on astrology sites, and I do feel it’s a bit imbalanced, sometimes.
I’ll be less catty next time.
I have to say catty is a bad word my Aquarius land lady I reside with has 14 cats..lol I was responding to you yes…I think you Love a Scorp!? Right?
So your saying that you dont see the appeal.
I think the lack of B.S. is refreshing to some. The authenticity. Its a matter of taste.
This might explain it some…
“it’s not like they are nice people.. most of them are rude/stand-off ish. Yet people want to be around them for some reason”
Really?! Don’t judge a book by its cover. It would appear that your experience with Scorpios is either quite limited or unfortunate, Anst. That’s really too bad, because there are plenty of “nice people” among our sign. Just like every other sign.
Ha! Ha! Ha! Yes, this made me laugh. I had someone after me in exactly the same way a year ago, as described by ‘Obsessed.’ No, I was not going through anything in particular and I sure as hell didn’t need ‘help’, but I can only say Elsa is a million times right; it is scary to have someone like that on your tail, and I just battened down the hatches. Boundaries are hugely important, and those who lack them don’t get near.
As an alternative take, I hate when people won’t just say “I don’t want to hang out”. They won’t be upfront they just throw you a crumb every now and then. Not everyone is an 8th house person. Just say it! It really is less cruel. I sincerely believe if someone says “maybe next week”. Don’t say that shit if you actually don’t mean it.
I agree with Elsa. I have a neighbor that was always trying to drag me to do stuff..forcing herself into our weekends. The worst.
My mother has problems respecting my boundaries and I am growing increasingly tired of it. Saturn is finally helping me put some boundaries up from his transit of my 12th house, and I can feel myself being ‘over and done’ with taking her crap, BS and whatever more.
The past year or so, she has been unable to admit to her being angry, but instead effectuated power plays because I refused to agree to her terms and wishes. I didn’t buy it. Pulled back my energy, as Elsa call it (4 planet Scorpio stellium here) and cut the contact for a period of time.
People and boundaries…. What can I say? I refuse to accept them walking all over me now and I am done taking anymore crap from their behaivior patterns. Figure out your own pathology, idiot, but it’s appalling how few peoole who are willing to own their ghosts! ?
When Neptune crossed my Asc by transit I received a lot of unasked for attention from casual acquaintances and strangers! My lower energy and slower reactions are somehow more attractive! I spend more time alone but do take better care of myself than I have before. I have to pick where to put my attention and not get sidetracked by socializing too much.
Hmm.I am a scorpio, I have had relationships where there has been an obsession. I also tend to get in relationships where I FEEL that the life is being sucked right out of me. Honestly I don’t get it.
Me too, Opalina. I can relate!