I’ve noticed all my life people have found me difficult to talk to when they first meet me. I’ve had all sorts of comments about their first impressions of me such as: intimidating, analytical, player, unapproachable. Could you please tell me why?
I’ve also noticed that I’m deeply emotional to a ridiculous degree, but I always appear icy cold on the surface. I really want to be able to have better interpersonal skills so that I’m less misunderstood. Could you please advise on how I could resolve this? Thanks a lot.
I am throwing this up as an open question because it hits so close to home. I have a similar problem in that I am constantly grinning which may seem far less problematic but I would not be so sure. In your case, people reject you based on a first impression and in my case I am also rejected, once people discern I am not the grinning fool I appear to be and that they wanted to know.
As for the astrology, your problem is clearly shown in your chart. A person’s first handshake is shown by the ascendant and with Saturn and Pluto conjunct yours… intimidation is the word of the day. And I am hoping someone around here might have some insight for you. For example someone might come along and tell you how your chart will progress and your problem will resolve but this has not been my experience. I am still grinning, see? I have no way to not grin when I meet someone, even though I may be thinking or feeling who knows what. So I will advise you based on this.
I think that knowing you radiate this energy you can try to mitigate it and you may or may not be successful. For example, try not to stare. When you “look at someone” I would not be surprised if it were perceived as a glare or a stare or a person passing judgment. Knowing this you can concentrate and train yourself to break your gaze when you meet someone new. Now I don’t meet pervert your energy and I have an analogy to illustrate.
I am Italian and I have a loud voice. Knowing I have a loud voice… my voice BOOMS out, I can try to talk quietly when meeting someone new. This does not mean I will not revert back to my regular voice but you see what I am getting at. Perhaps when I do, the new person will have had some time to get used to me and not be as terrified.
As for your relationships, obviously you are going to have to be with someone who adores, respects and admires your presence so please don’t get me wrong. I don’t think there is anything wrong with you. I just want to offer you something as concrete as possible and this is it:
You are what you are and you will put some people off the same way I am going to attract people who ultimately won’t like me at all. But as you get older, with a little luck you will begin to really appreciate the individual you are, (perceived) warts and all. Because the fact you are a person of quality is shown by the fact you asked this question.
In other words, you and I can try to improve if we like but bottom line, it is okay for you to have an pronounced presence; just as it is okay for me to be a loud Italian.
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