Mars, Psychological Games, Seduction & Manipulation

ALLEGORY OF MARS, VENUS & CUPIDI was talking to a pal who copped to being what she called “game-y” in relationships when she was younger. She described how she manipulated men by coming on strong and then backing off to keep their energy on her. She’d have them obsessing trying to figure out what she was up to. I was completely enthralled listening to her  because I am the polar opposite of this. No man ever has to wonder where he stands with me.

I have Mars is conjunct Mercury in the (blunt) 9th house, so there you go. But my friend has an Aquarius Mars in the 8th house and this is one way to express it.

Aquarius is detached. Mars wants to get what it wants and the 8th house is up to speed when it comes to psychological games. It’s like an experiment in seduction.

Where is your Mars?

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Mars, Psychological Games, Seduction & Manipulation — 51 Comments

  1. I thought that I didn’t but recently I discovered that I do play games unconsciously. Sometimes we do all sorts of things without being aware of it!

  2. No, I don’t have the time or the patience for game playing. It’s boring. While I couldn’t be as blunt like Elsa (ah, if only sometimes!), I do tend to state what I do and don’t want most of the time. Mercury is inconjunct the Moon and Mars so sometimes communications can get out of whack, but it’s never done on purpose.

  3. Never in relationships. In flirting YES FUN, in ‘real’ relationships no way, what’s the point? 4th house mars in libra conjunct venus in scorp

  4. Stellium in Gemini in the 7th house. I can’t imagine the point of a relationship where I couldn’t play. It’s all in fun though and generally serves everyone’s highest good. I don’t play games that are destructive to my partner(s).

  5. Oh, I forgot: My Mars is in Sag in the fifth house and it forms a grand trine with my Leo Sun and my Aries Midheaven. And I do consider myself blunt but like I said, just recently I’ve discovered that I’m a lot sneakier than I thought.

  6. now Elsa please ! you sure seemed to be playing a mixed message game with that salesman – enjoying his energy ( his mars – his pursuit) on one level – but pushing him away on another. no in between there at all in that exchange ?

  7. No, Don. I told that guy I was never going to touch him, as in. “I am never going to fuckin’ touch you, do you understand?”

    And I said this loudly, in public, with full force and further, I believe I also called him a pig!

    Now I did tell him later, when he did not go away and I discovered the astro-twin thing, that I was going to study him, seeing as he was handy … “like mistletoe on oak”, but that is wildly different from going on a date or leading him to believe I ever would.

    And as for being energized by him, I definitely was! But that has nothing to do with being unclear about my intentions. Activated? Yes. Going to fuck you? Hell no….

  8. And Don, I am actually describing something very different in the post. I am talking about a person who fawns all over you and then becomes aloof when you advance, throwing you off guard in the process.

  9. I voted for Not sure. Mars in aqua in 7th. well, i do ‘play’. sometimes its because when i am interested in the person, they catch on and act crude….i like subtlety. They act like they have just won a major conquest or something. puts me off. and then i go cold.

    the other is when i am genuinely interested and a bit insecure. tht’s when my venus sq saturn gets activated. i am in the throes of love. i am tortured, dont want to be hurt. so back off when i think i hv gone too far ahead. in the process it looks like i am acting cold. i dunno. then finally, i may be quite sure of myself AND the other person, and just do tht to add a bit of ‘fun’. but in this case i make sure tht the other person is clear about my intentions ALL THE TIME.

    i guess i *cud* wield power that way. its not like the thought never crossed my mind. but i never wud.

  10. Mars in the twelth. If i play games, it usually backfires on my, and i end up more busted up then the other guy.

  11. i don’t really want to play but my instinct is to “protect the self.” mars in cancer doesn’t want to get hurt so it pretends it could care less (and ends up hurt anyway). gemini ascendant w/neptune conjunct DC appears disinterested and aloof but secretly burns with desire and jealousy. i attract them and push them away right when i want it the most. sigh…

  12. not those kinds of games, but games. it became an odd kind of a challenge. the subconscious played all kinds of nasty tricks on me and i’m much happier being direct and working more in tune with the subconscious stuff than hiding my intentions.

    and i’ve learned to turn around and walk away when someone starts throwing that stuff at me. it’s not work the effort or the emotional teacup tempests to play those games.

    my mars is in pisces in the seventh. square neptune. a little of a headache to work with. if i know something i’ll be clear, but trying to explain anything before my gut has sent up a neon sign? near impossible.

    it’s usually pretty obvious when i’m attracted to someone and when i’m not. at least after i’ve picked up a good sense of their energy. i’m picky about that because the wrong stuff throws my system heavily off kilter.

  13. I can’t be game-y in relationships. I’m a no-nonsense girl. I’m either in a serious relationship or single and happy. There is no in-between for me.

    So you can imagine, when I find a guy I like, he damn well will know and he will ALWAYS knows where he stands with me. In my relationships, my significant others always knew where I stood. There is no playing games… I’ve been played so many times (by manipulative men) before and it wasn’t fun… So I’m not bound to do that.

  14. Mars conjunct pluto (libra) and sun (virgo)eleventh house square 2nd house moon (capricorn). I definitely did this when I was younger consciously and subconsciously. I don’t think I do it anymore but I am sure it happens when I am not aware of it from time to time because emotionally I feel as though I have to fight to survive. There is an inbuilt lack of ease with myself emotionally.

  15. i think my mars emerges as a force when love is already present,not in the chase…mars in cancer in the 10th… defends, protects, feeds, fuels, and worries a lot…too sensitive and emotional for fawny games…

  16. Taurus Mars opposite Scorpio Neptune-ASC conjunction. I never intend to play games, since I think of myself as a straight shooter, but I must be without realizing it. I’ve had several men accuse me of manipulation, so objectively it would seem I am doing it even if I don’t feel like that’s what I’m doing. Or maybe this is just more of the endless projection I get having a near exact Neptune-ASC conjunction…. Who knows.

  17. mars in aquarius in 2nd

    i’m like a combination of u and ur friend, Elsa. Sometimes i play games if i’m feeling insecure, other times i throw myself completely out there. It all depends on if i recognize my own insecurity. When i do, i try to cope with it rationally.

  18. oops. voted last year, too.
    pisces. 7th.
    i discovered after awhile that i usually ended up making things worse for myself, so i quit.

  19. I am too straight forward for games. I can’t play them, I have tried,lol. My Mars is in Libra the 6th house square my Venus Cancer in 2nd house.

  20. Sometimes I play games, but they’re not intentionally done. I don’t see it until I have to sit back and question my motives and why I’m doing and saying things. Then I have to back track.

    Sun (Pisces), Venus (Pisces), Mars (Aries) all conjunct in the 9th.

  21. hahahha I voted never but I’d attribute it to uranus sextile my mars in integrity I mean capricorn . .

    I’m on you and getting nailed or bored and off like a shot waiting around to play games isn’t going to work for me

  22. I voted “sometimes.”

    Ignoring the times when my game-playing is intentional:

    Sometimes I suddenly withdraw because I used flirtatious body language without meaning to, and I need to backpedal. (I know about said flirtatious behavior because my friends have repeatedly commented on it when I thought I was acting normal.)

    If I relax again, I’ll often drop back into flirtatious behavior and have to backpedal again.

    I suspect that it comes across as game-playing. :S

  23. Von – me too. The more detached I am the more they want in, until I respond of course. I attract those who want a challenge I guess. To be fair though, I think I do this myself sometimes (out of fear) but I never retreat too far, just enough to observe at a distance. I like to check them out you know. I agree it is frustrating.
    10th house Aries Venus/Mars opposed Saturn in Libra, square Cap moon in 7th.

  24. I have only vertex in libra, but it is also on the cusp of my 5th house and I don’t know if it is that ,that makes me a little indisisive when it comes to attraction. I would never play games on porpuse(wow crap spelling,haha) I like honesty , and I think playing games obscures a reality both have to face eventually….so the game becomes the worst time and energy waste I can imagine..taurus mars in the 12th…,however I can get involved in games if I clearly see it going on, I have intrest, and I see a clear line for me to pull the game console out of their hands

  25. Cap Mars conjunct my Cap sun in the 5th. I am very much energized by games of flirtation and seduction, given both parties know what’s up. But just playing mind games with a clueless other? I’ve toyed with the thought, but when it comes down to it, I just can’t. It’s dirty, and it’s cheating.

  26. It’s not my nature to behave this way, but if I get a hunch that someone is doing this, or playing some other game, I back off in equal, sometimes with pleas for clarity and plenty explanation and other times with no explanation. It’s about protecting myself more than playing games, I think…? This is why I voted “not sure.”

  27. Haha… I have an Aquarius Mars in the 8th house. Square Pluto. Psychological games… yes ma’am. But I can’t sustain them so they can backfire… I have too much Sag to be completely covert 🙂 So I make a concerted effort not to do it anymore!

  28. I have a Gemini 7th house with jupiter (retrograde and anaretic) in it, so I like some fun, or that´s what it seems.But inwardly things are much more serious with mars and venus cap (trine pluto) and suffering lurks in the end.
    The other day I was searching for lilith and came across this on Kingsley´s blog

    “Eric Berne a psychiatrist describes the psychological game of Rapo where a woman uses her charms to get closer to a male admirer. In the end she says to the man that she is married and then laughs. She “gets off” on being flirty and then destructive. The man kind of turns to stone like in the Medusa story. The woman seems to get control over the “male energy” which is also a Lilith – like behaviour”.
    This is the extreme case of femme fatale gameplay.

  29. I would say I don’t play games, but I’m sure that some things I do come across as “game” to others. I’m very prone to the want-you-here then want-you-gone thing, but I tell everyone up front about it: I like you, I love you, I enjoy your company, but not today. Today is for me and I’ll catch up with you tomorrow. Some people don’t get it, though. They’re convinced there’s an ulterior motive somewhere and I can’t possibly mean what I say.

    I’ve found that bluntness confounds many more people than one would expect. *lol*

    Mars in Libra, conjunct Venus and Pluto, trine Aquarian moon (which is one place, I think, the need for space comes from).

  30. Mars conjunct Pluto in Libra/9th house, sextile Saturn in Leo/7th house, and Neptune in Sag/12th.

    I voted “Not sure. I may do this but if so, it’s subconscious”. I may disappear at inopportune times, and so make myself guilty of neglect – but only until an actual relationship is established.

  31. Mars, Uranus, Pluto stellium in Virgo in 2nd, Sag sun/mercury in 5th, moon in gemini. venus in scorpio in 4th

    I am absolutely above game playing at the outset. However, once I’m sure my affection is returned, I will play and flirt like crazy! Not “games” as in advance/retreat – my playing is about understanding what turns that guy on and surprising him with doing just that behaviour or with those outfits or clothes he likes (within limits & if it’s not illegal).

  32. Mars in Gem 6th house(Mars opp Jup, Sun conj Mars)

    I was totally guilty of coming on strong to someone then withdrawing myself completely!! Not for fun.. more because I didn’t feel the chemistry between me and that person any longer than the flick of a light switch… even if the sex was good I still wouldn’t get myself involved in anything more… I’m sure my moon in Cap also helped…

  33. Mars in Cap in the 4th but Venus in Aqu opp moon in Leo plus Aqu sun brings the pull-push syndrome. Now that I’m a bit older and more aware I don’t have much of a problem anymore, much like your friend.

  34. I loathe manipulation for shits and giggles. I don’t like that about people with Scorpio. One guy who fell in love with me thought I like to manipulate and hurt people for my own fun. What the fuck?! I was a thoughtless fool who didn’t know what love is, but nothing else. I do send out a lot of mixed messages, though. I have a Gemini Sun and Mars in the 12th, I feel like my sexuality and the quirky personality I like to project are different and compartmentalized from each other. But I think too much bluntness in a relationship is boring. There should be play, but not the malicious kind. My Scorpio friend comes up to someone and says, “I want to have sex tonight, are you in?” I think that’s a little blunt.

  35. hmm I have mars in gemini conjuct venus in taurus in my 12th,and I am an aries with a moon in scorpio.
    I hate games with a passion.emotional games that is.give me a puzzle and I am like a dog with a bone.LOVE it!
    however,I notice that I am always doing the “lawyer” thing and very subtle about gathering information from others.I dont use it to game play but i am always trying to understand everything and everyone to greater depths and in the process subtly and indirectly get people to share things with me they otherwise would not.
    so there is an element of gameplay but it is from a neutral,non emotional game playing headspace.

  36. oh yeah not to mention that the mars in gem and venus in tau are also conjuct saturn in gem,also in the 12th….and opposite my neptune.not always a fun little combo 😉

  37. “Stephanie
    Taurus Mars opposite Scorpio Neptune-ASC conjunction. I never intend to play games, since I think of myself as a straight shooter, but I must be without realizing it. I’ve had several men accuse me of manipulation, so objectively it would seem I am doing it even if I don’t feel like that’s what I’m doing. Or maybe this is just more of the endless projection I get having a near exact Neptune-ASC conjunction…. Who knows.”

    Stephanie said that over a year ago and having just read it I wondered mine is almost same but opposite… My ASC 4 Gemini mars 16 degrees 12 opposite Moon scorp 29 6th,,, desc 4 sag neptune 5 sag 7th… Do I actract those who manipulate and play games? DO I play games.. questioning alot about myself and those around me lately..

  38. I have Moon and Venus in Gemini in 7th Opposing Uranus in Sagittarius in 2nd Cusp.
    I really mean to but I’m hot and cold everyday.
    I’m a scorpio rising too with Saturn in there.
    Recently, I’ve realised I manipulate people but not on purpose.
    My moon conjuncts venus in gemini in 7th and trines Jupiter in aquarius. I don’t want to tied down. I guess I love making people like me a lot and when they do, I move on.

  39. well. I don’t think I am so much a game player but Ido love the game of love (where everybody wins ;-)…. I am not so good at marriage, evidently. But I do well in romance and really enjoy it. I love the falling in love part, where even just the thought of them is a turn. If I am not interested in them “that way” it is pretty evident but I have had to be blunt on some occasions with those who I thought were friends but wanted much more. Mars in the the 5th, Aquarius. Libra Moon on the ascendent, so I think most anybody can read me.

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