Mars! How Do You Deal With Your Anger?

goddess writes:

“What helps people deal with anger? I don’t get angry all that often, but one of the absolute best things I can do when I’m feeling angry is to clean the house. That helps more than anything else I’ve found, including other types of physical activity. My Mars is in the 4th, trine Saturn. Energetic cleaning leaves me both feeling free of the agitation and satisfied at the accomplishment when I’m through.”

goddess – Being ultra-Marsy, I work out regularly (daily if possible) and go on walks as well, when I can. With Mars conjunct Mercury, I also write and write and write…

How do you dissipate your anger. Can you see this is your chart?

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Mars! How Do You Deal With Your Anger? — 39 Comments

  1. With Virgo Mars in the 12H, I don’t get angry enough! Or at least it’s not expressed. It feels really good to let it out. I once wrote a journal entry full of variations of f*** and complained about everything and it was amazingly liberating.
    And this might sound bad, but I also let people/strangers have it when they are aggressive to me, which is fairly new behavior. Very direct and “stop right here” and they’re not getting away with it. I used to be afraid of being seen as obnoxious or grating or not nice. Now I just don’t care. 🙂

  2. mars in leo in the 4th, sextile saturn, cleaning works for me. Telling someone what is the matter, so I can stratigize about what to do (mars conjunct mercury) helps too, as does writing about it and getting clear that way. If I can be alone, getting out of the house, taking a long walk to clear my head, maybe see or feel something new. (mars sextile uranus)

  3. Clean! Clean! Clean! It’s so automatic. I start cleaning like a mad woman! Mars in Cancer. If the house is already clean, the next best thing for me is reading, burying my face in a book. Usually a philosophical self-help book. Mars in the 9th.
    Could it not fit any better??

  4. Mars in Sag. I work out like a madwoman with weights, take aggressive 2 hour bike rides. I need to move and sweat and play hard.

  5. I’ve got Mars in Leo, 8th house. Anger is very problematic for me, being a 70% yin type of man. I don’t know for sure, but I suppress I mostly, try overtly not to express it, because it more or less destroys my whole world and relationshops when it does come out in an unmodulated way, kind of Donald Duck style, that is.

    Mostly I’m angry when I see other people behaving in what I perceive to be thoughtless or otherwise stupid ways. I’m old enough to know better, but, not.

    I could use some advice on this, I think. Professional advice, probably, but feel free to put in your 2 cents.

  6. Mars in Sag conjunct Neptune. Music dissiaptes my anger. I either dance it out (even if its just dancing in my room with the music loud)or playing either my piano or guitar.

    Just listening to music helps settle me but if my body needs something physical to do its dancing or playing an instrument.

  7. Mars in Leo here in the 9th or 10th depending on how you slice the pie.

    I grew up in a household where anger was never to be expressed in any shape size or form.(9 kids, double Libra mum with a 5 foot cane… if you ever doubted Saturn’s exaltation in Libra, I have a story or two to tell)
    I’m a water sign with a Pluto Mars conjunction. On the relatively rare occasions that I am angry, the whole world knows I’m angry without that I say a single word.

    When I say a word, grown men have been known to wet themselves.

    If I write when I am angry, it is usually devastating.

    I learned, relatively late in life as these things go, to visualize the object of my anger and rant over the ether.

    It requires some significant practice in meditation.

    Its a way of letting it all go without razing everything in line of sight.

    I usually exit the exercise with a far more balanced perspective than I had when I entered it.

    Its a lot healthier than bottling it up, or getting arrested.

    My 2 cents

    Rod

  8. I have Mars in 12th and if I’m really, really pissed off, I move furniture. Technically cleaning, but not really since I don’t get the concept of “clean” (pisces on the 6th…).

    If it’s minor anger, writing and/or staying awake until I’m exhausted and have no choice but to sleep.

  9. rod, i hear ya. mars square pluto here (can-lib). dealing with anger productively is something i’ve had to learn. the first step for me is always to vent and then strategize with a trusted friend. (maybe that’s mars sextile saturn in the 7th/8th?) i really benefit from an outside perspective, b/c the strength of the emotion usually clouds my judgement. i also have mars trine uranus but i don’t know what that suggests astrologically wrt anger….?

  10. I need to vent and vent and vent, complain, yell and ensure that someone, anyone understands that I’m right to be angry. I get extremely restless and can’t be alone. Mars Libra/7th house, square moon.

  11. I get angry often, at stupid little unnerving things. lol But with Mars in Libra, I’m not very good at expressing it. Usually exercise helps and doing other things that give me pleasure instead of nerves. Also my Mars is close to the Descendant and it helps to talk about it with someone – poor people that have to listen!

  12. Mars in Leo in the 6th house; Mars Trine Saturn, Mars Conjunct both Sun & Moon, both in Leo and the 6th house: I lift heavy objects when angry. Preferably made of steel & iron.

  13. Mars in Capricorn (trine Taurus Asc)when angry I do some serious gardening to exhaust myself. Dig holes, pull weeds, lug heavy pots around and mulch, it can be very rewarding.

  14. I have Mars in Cancer, on the Midheaven.

    When I get angry, I find that cooking soothes me. Things like Chicken Caligula, Beef Borgia, Forest Mushroom Omelete, or Spring Bamboo Soup. Nothing like a tasty meal to soothe over hurt feelings. Mmmmm.

  15. When I’m angry I go for a walk. The longer the better. I find being alone is the best route, as I get better insight than all the chatter from other people.
    It’s the weirdest thing, but if I talk to anyone about what I’m feeling angry about, 9 times out of 10 they IMMEDIATELY try to micro-manage and give me advice and it only pisses me off further. I need a rant…not advice.

    I think this is my Cap Moon in the 1st…people act, when I’m angry, as if I need to learn how to be emotionally competent and it is so draining. Projection, projection…

    I do not lack in the area of personal reflection, so I simply ask the Universe to upturn what rock my insight is hidden under…

    And it sounds crazy but I can simply decide to not be angry anymore and not be. I don’t want to get sick and I’m definitely the kind of person who would become ill if angry, so there you go.

  16. kashmiri- sometimes i can decide not to be angry too, but sometimes it doesn’t work. this was on my mind because the day before i had gotten pissed off the night before and could not sleep worth a damn. same crap going around and around in my head. so i got up at midnight and cleaned my house.

    it’s been very interesting for me to read the comments and to see how people’s coping is tied into their astrology.

  17. goddess, well I didn’t mention the times when I just completely lose my shit and am basically like a hot knife through butter (Aries Mars opposed Pluto).
    As for not being able to sleep I guess I could admit to screaming into my pillow until I rip my tonsils apart, thrashing around, crying until I collapse in exhaustion.

    Shhhhhh….don’t tell anyone! That’s for very special occasions! LOL!

    Oh yes, and I just paid $15 for the tailor to replace the zipper I ripped out of my favorite jeans in a rage. obviously I jusy need to have more sex ::::rolls eyes::::

  18. Scorpio Mars conjunct the moon. I cry. I turn it all on myself and get really twisted up. I take some time to walkabout and speak with my one friend who guides me out the mess. Then I can speak my truth to that which created the anger. I cannot go there directly or, if I do, the emotion that accompanies the anger is totally destructive. So I have learnt to wait until I am ready to give them my Mars. If my moon is involved I am a crazy woman. People usually don’t give you the time to process though and I would like to discover a way to not have to control my moon, but rather be truthful to it and my feelings.

  19. lol at kashmiri…i hope your special occassions don’t come often. that sounds exhausting!

    and i think sex is a good antidote for me, too. (mars in scorp). so long as i’m not angry at my husband, at least. fortunately, that doesn’t happen often. 🙂

  20. Mars In Gemini conjunct the Midheaven. When I am angry I will verbally rip someone a new anal orifice. The mellowing with age seems to be messed up, since I am a lot more angry as I have aged.

    Maybe it is just that I am no longer projecting that part of myself. However I do feel that swinging to the other end of the pendulum is not a very good thing either. I am working to get back to a more middle ground. And I do think that what Kashmiri said is likely very valid! 😉

  21. Daemoness have you thought about Pluto through Sagittarius, through the last 12/ish years…opposing your natal Mars, maybe that influences of feeling more angry as you’ve aged, as you put it?

  22. “When I am angry I will verbally rip someone a new anal orifice”

    Hey…are they people from work? (MC) or people from home? (IC) Just out of curiosity.

  23. Kashmiri 🙂

    That is a good point about Pluto. Everything is different than the way I expected my life to be. This isn’t a great thang for a Taurus. However I have to say that I do feel empowered getting to where I am today, because I know I can rely on me. I hope I don’t sound bitter, but likely do, it seems that everyone I have ever loved has let me down, with the exception of my Gran who passed away years ago and my animals.

    To answer the question about work, I rarely have a problem there anymore. They know what to expect if they are dealing unfairly and don’t have their facts straight. It wasn’t always that way and felt like a war zone for years.

    What will get me very angry is unfairness, double standards, or lies. This is across the board, so it applies anywhere.

  24. I just recently wrote a paper on how I deal with my anger for psych class. 🙂
    In case anyone’s forgotten ;), I’ve got Mars-Venus-Pluto conjunct in Libra/4 and it hits everything in my chart. I have to channel my anger somehow or, like kashmiri and Astrosage/Rod have said, I get sick. I’ve learned I need to have a variety of responses depending on depth of anger and my surroundings.
    I’ve used meditation to help dissipate the energy since I was a kid and I’ve learned that expressing the small annoyances as they happen is invaluable to keeping me on an even keel. Sometimes it’s not enough, though, especially when severe anger springs up suddenly. When that happens, I used to take my anger out on inanimate objects: screaming into pillows, throwing things (especially phones), slamming doors (sometimes repeatedly until it was emphatic enough). Lately I’ve been using deep, controlled breathing to focus myself until I can think it through using Rabbi Schmuley’s maxim: Is it worth fighting about and, if so, is it worth fighting about now? If I’m no longer in control of myself (which has happened a few times), I don’t want anyone to see me being emotional (Aquarian moon. Dang!), or I don’t want to fight, I’ll leave — go for a walk if I can and sequester myself if I can’t.
    Whew! That makes me exhausted just thinking about and typing it all. *lol*

  25. Aqua Mars in 4th house. Cleaning really works! Sometimes when I’m agitated and have no proper way of dealing with it, I troll a bit on the Internet. Only with people I know though so there’s no harm, because they can (and will) troll back.

  26. Mars in my 1st, I find it very helpful to have physical outlet, like running or walking (climbing mountains). Mars conjunct merc, it’s also very helpful to talk it out or write it out. Mars sextile Pluto, it’s also helpful to go deep and transform something (like my living room, mars in cancer). Mars is also trine neptune, but I’m not sure how it manifests with that aspect. I’m more used to getting all that extra energy out via a good long workout or talk 😉
    Angie

  27. Taurus Mars, 3rd house, conj Aries Sun 2nd. I can get REALLY angry and aggressive (not physically since I was outstrengthed as a kid by a bigger boy) verbally, so much so I almost lose my reason but that could be because I don’t express till it’s white hot. Communicating it does help; talking, writing. If the object of the anger is next to me though, god help them when it gets to explosion time. If I can settle down enough to sit and write it’s much safer though devastating if the target gets to read it.

    Heavy physical exercise dissipates it, such as cutting long grass with a scythe, plus that scythe looks pleasingly dangerous. However, I have to push myself to begin as I can easily turn it inwards and the Sat/moon conj in Pisces can spiral that anger energy down into a depression My catholic mother would call me ‘a wicked girl’ when I got angry as a kid, so I learned to bottle it up, feel guilty and hate myself. It’s taken years and years of introspection, therapy and practice to come as far as I have in accepting my inner rage (and forgiving my mother!)

    Two weeks ago I confronted a burgler, I confronted them because I was so angry at being burgled..again. See, angry beyond reason. I was completely alone and had no weapon (except my anger, haha) luckily he left through the hole in the fence he’d made. Took me a few days to recover from the shock and the realisation that I’d put myself in a potentionaly very dangerous situation, not for the first time either.

  28. Using EFT does it for me. Helps me feel the root of it really quickly (hurt is almost always at the root of anger), and then it dissipates. Ya need to feel it to heal it.

  29. Aries Mars in the 9th house.

    I get angry very easily and my first reaction is always to tear the next best thing apart… So better keep away from me and let me get my running gear on. I need to work out and sweat and run or bike or do anything to physically clear my head.

  30. I am a polemicist to my core. The term “verbal fury” fits me when truly angry. I’m VERY rarely this angry though. If I’m regular angry, I just run my mouth about the issue and analyze and criticize until I’m exhausted. I do this most of the time by myself while pacing back and forth. Mars in Gemini in the 12th house. The pacing back and forth really helps to cool me out.

  31. I go workout, hard! Leo Mars in the 7th. Sun conjunct Mars. Anything physically active will calm me. I took up fencing three years ago. It has worked wonders.

  32. I spout a stream of profanity so blue it would make a sailor swoon. in private. in public I know how to maintain. capricorn moon, scorpio mars in the third.

  33. I kinda like that. I have said in the past I can swear in both technicolor and stereoscope. I can put any longshoreman to shame. Given my job this is not a good trait. Although it amuses my children sometimes.

    When my night owl children were so young that they could talk but weren’t in school as of yet, I was used to take them around town late at night. I was coming back with them from the youngest kid’s father’s house this night and there was what was clearly a drunk on the road in a black Mercedes . The car had just pulled out of the third wealthiest neighborhood here in town. The bonehead was swerving and coming at me. I had to brake and dodge to get out of the way. I was so angry that I stopped the car, jumped out and jumped on my car and yelled “You A——! SLOW DOWN! You could have killed my kids in here! Are you stupid in addition to being a ——- drunk you steaming bag of —-???) (I’m a lot more colorful than that now BTW)

    My oldest who was about 4 at the time, started to laugh and said “Oh Mommy, you can say those words so good and so loud too!!! WOW Oh Mommy that was so good. ha ha ha. ” She was laughing her head off. The car just sat there for a couple of minutes (I guess trying to decide just how drunk he/she was) and then really slowly went thourgh the turn he/she was trying to perform before nearly hitting us.

    I was so angry I would have fought them if they were stupid enough to get in my face up close.

  34. Okay, I’ve got another one that is similar. About 19 years ago I was house sitting of a friend. I went back to the hose and was trying to get in bu the door wouldn’t budge, so i was andry enoughto start swearing in some really colorful terms involving camel crap and prostitutes ingesting the camel product.

    I kept pushing on the door but it would only open a teeny bit and then that was it.This door was rally REALLY stuck. So finally I went around back to try the back door.

    The back door had broken glass, which hadn’t been broken when I had left the house. I turned around and backed out of the back yard. The front door was now open. …I had been fighting through the door with the burglers but didn’t know it until I saw the back door and then the front one again.

  35. I used to have a anger problem (Mars in Leo in 4th conjunct Jupiter and square Aries Asc). Two modes in my family growing up – numb or angry. When I got mad, the whole neighbourhood knew. It was a power trip, but only because I was so scared inside, scared of being vulnerable and hurt. Those walls protected me.

    Fast forward to today, I’ve mellowed out a lot, and own my power, hence no need to have any over others. I rarely get truly angry, ticked off here and there (social injustice & inconsiderate people at the top of my list). I also know how anger can hurt – I’ve had it done enough to me, and spread it around, too – and just won’t go there anymore. Not suppress it, just work it out however is best at the moment. Sometimes it’s being alone, sometimes it’s talking to a trusted friend, sometime it’s crying or throwing a pillow, with no one around – and sometimes it’s doing something about that injustice.

    I HATE cleaning at the best of times, never mind the worst. 😉

    I’d rather see people smile or laugh than be in fear. While I can’t control what others think or feel, I spread the joy now. Most of my energy is geared towards happiness.

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