My life is in a rut. I have no motivation to work on my music and art. I am bored and lonely. My job is boring and dead end. Everything is BLAH!!!
I can’t stand it, but at the same time… I don’t do anything about it. What gives? I feel like I haven’t accomplished anything and that my life is just ticking away. I watch all my friends get married, get homes, have kids, make records, write books…
I want to kick myself in the butt and get moving on creating again and feel like I have done something worth while for once. Is there any hope to spark my own interests again?
In a Rut
This is pure astrology. I think you are depressed… unbeknownst to you. See, you have four planets in Aries in the 9th house which describes a very fiery personality. Someone on the go, for sure. Someone buoyant (9th house) who actively (Aries) seeks new experience (9th house). So something is wrong here.
I suspect that something wrong is depression to some degree, because your Moon (emotions, mood) is conjunct Saturn (downward pressure) which is a classic signature for a low mood. In fact it is very hard to have a Saturn Moon contact in your chart and not struggle with depression at various times in your life.
Further, the conjunction is in your 12th house, and things in the 12th house of a chart are always hidden to some degree. Last, you’re a Cancer rising which means your chart is ruled by the Moon, suggest this conjunction is basically driving the bus.
So based on this, and the content of your post, I think you should see a professional to be evaluated. Because life is not “BLAH” by a shot.