Rhonda writes on the Liars In The Zodiac post:
“Keeping secrets is a survival mechanism for the id.”
Interesting. I am only partly aware of why I keep so much from the soldier. If I told you my reasons they would be valid but they would also be surface like the tip of the iceberg. I don’t think I am going to have time this lifetime to visit this at any depth but I can tell you this: The things I keep from him are strange and I keep them from him and only him.
Now this is a Venus Neptune thing:- I conceal my tastes from him. I never pick a movie for example. We watch his movies only (80% war and 20% love stories). He would be happy to watch any movie I’d choose but I refuse to choose a movie for what it would reveal.
In contrast, my ex, the AMF and I would watch movies all the time. We’d see two or three a week at least and I would pick virtually every one of them. Go figure.
I also kept the soldier out of my job when we were kids. I was a bartender and I just didn’t want to deal with him in there. He has a strong presence, never mind he’s jealous and I’d be holding court. I did not want to be impacted or thwarted and I also didn’t know how he would take a line of men looking at my ass every time I turned around to put money in the cash register and did not want to find out. But the boyfriend I had after him was at my job every day so go figure.
I primarily keep things from him because his Saturn is in hard aspect to my Mars and Mercury and it is difficult to communicate. I also fear his judgment or perhaps my Libra just doesn’t want to have the fight I know will erupt if I have to listen to too much of his preaching.
I love sexy betrayal movies… quirky eccentric stuff, various other sundries and I don’t want to hear a lecture about morals because of it. I don’t want to hear about how I should be watching the history channel as opposed to the cutting edge. I don’t want to hear the 11,000 books he has read, recited word for word to make his point, do you blame me?
So instead we watch the war. We watch any war on any channel, in any way, shape or form that it may be presented and meantime he talks and when he does I get smarter. Not because I learn or agree with what he is telling me because whether I do or I do not is irrelevant. What is important is that he is potent and passionate and his ideas and energy can be applied.
How and where and when they are applied would be be something else I conceal (in large part). I guess I cop to about 8%…
All in all it’s not bad but it is definitely night and day from my experience with other men. I think this is the opposition between our two Mercurys and that Saturn pressure. I’ll fight him but not over “movie night” for Godsakes. I will wait for something better, like I’m in a pissy mood and he’s there. 😉
What about you? What types of things do your conceal?