Rhonda writes on the Liars In The Zodiac post:
“Keeping secrets is a survival mechanism for the id.”
Interesting. I am only partly aware of why I keep so much from the soldier. If I told you my reasons they would be valid but they would also be surface like the tip of the iceberg. I don’t think I am going to have time this lifetime to visit this at any depth but I can tell you this: The things I keep from him are strange and I keep them from him and only him.
Now this is a Venus Neptune thing:- I conceal my tastes from him. I never pick a movie for example. We watch his movies only (80% war and 20% love stories). He would be happy to watch any movie I’d choose but I refuse to choose a movie for what it would reveal.
In contrast, my ex, the AMF and I would watch movies all the time. We’d see two or three a week at least and I would pick virtually every one of them. Go figure.
I also kept the soldier out of my job when we were kids. I was a bartender and I just didn’t want to deal with him in there. He has a strong presence, never mind he’s jealous and I’d be holding court. I did not want to be impacted or thwarted and I also didn’t know how he would take a line of men looking at my ass every time I turned around to put money in the cash register and did not want to find out. But the boyfriend I had after him was at my job every day so go figure.
I primarily keep things from him because his Saturn is in hard aspect to my Mars and Mercury and it is difficult to communicate. I also fear his judgment or perhaps my Libra just doesn’t want to have the fight I know will erupt if I have to listen to too much of his preaching.
I love sexy betrayal movies… quirky eccentric stuff, various other sundries and I don’t want to hear a lecture about morals because of it. I don’t want to hear about how I should be watching the history channel as opposed to the cutting edge. I don’t want to hear the 11,000 books he has read, recited word for word to make his point, do you blame me?
So instead we watch the war. We watch any war on any channel, in any way, shape or form that it may be presented and meantime he talks and when he does I get smarter. Not because I learn or agree with what he is telling me because whether I do or I do not is irrelevant. What is important is that he is potent and passionate and his ideas and energy can be applied.
How and where and when they are applied would be be something else I conceal (in large part). I guess I cop to about 8%…
All in all it’s not bad but it is definitely night and day from my experience with other men. I think this is the opposition between our two Mercuries and that Saturn pressure. I’ll fight him but not over “movie night” for Godsakes. I will wait for something better, like I’m in a pissy mood and he’s there. 😉
What about you? What types of things do your conceal?
I conceal when I am having relationship problems (Saturn in 7th). I only talk about them when they are (a) over or (b) I’m about to crack
I used to conceal my teeth until I had then fixed at the age of 28 (very appropriate: bones=Saturn; Saturn return)
I hardly ever have people in my home (4th House Sun)
I hide from my SO how much debt I have (I have student loans…it’s disgusting)
I had a wickedly bad day at school yesterday, and while normally I would run and hide in the bathroom if I was going to cry I cried openly. I had no choice, I was out of control, but it felt very freeing, and the nice thing was I discovered how many kind people I am studying with.
I conceal a lot. I have Venus and Neptune in the 12th house and Uranus in Scorpio in the 11th. So I (venus)love (12th house) secrets, I enjoy using (Scorpio) secrets to (Uranus) disrupt or shock people, and to (Scorpio) check their reaction, and I figure what people don’t know (concealed/hidden 12th house neptune), they can’t (saturn sq. sun) judge me on.
I almost died laughing at that picture… I am dating a Sun conjunct Saturn in Cancer with Scorpio rising and I have been calling him “The Iceberg” since the beginning. He conceals just about everything he can.
I conceal very little…. but moon in 12th tends to give me a knee-jerk true emotion-hiding reflex even though Cancer rising makes people think I’m super emo.
Venus in the 1st sextile Neptune (11th). The whole closet smoking thing cracked me up because that’s what I used to do all the time. Though I didn’t hide it from guys I wanted to hang out with, just my family who nagged! 🙂
oh dear…I conceal everything I think the other person won’t accept. I become a different person to each person who knows me! It makes me laugh though when I think of all these people meeting up someday and talking about what I am “really” like 🙂 lol
neptune in 7th and gemini rising i guess!
depends on the person and how judgemental/openminded i’ve determined them to be (and about what.)
i have little taste for pointless argument or being negated. it takes too long to clean up the mess afterwards. (constructive argument, on the other hand….)
i also don’t really show anybody my most intense emotions.
don’t know if it’s fear or the fact that i’ve been told i’m “too [whatever]” a few too many times.
I don’t know if this makes sense to you guys but anybody who conceals a lot from me (that I’m dating) … well that just sets off all kinds of red alarm bells for me. What are they hiding? Why are they hiding it? Don’t they want to be themselves around me? All parts, not just some of them … maybe that is Mars in Scorpio talking but I want to know an entire person and I want them to know me, whoever that is.
Oh gosh, I’m such an open book. I don’t know, but I have always felt that we all go through stuff, we all have flaws, why hide them? I like to talk to people and hear other peoples POVs about everything. It’s the ultimate connection. Honestly though, sometimes I wish I was that secretive, mysterious type. But I’m not. 🙁
Which is odd, arent I supposed to be secretive? (Scorpio ASC)
Hm, I don’t know. It’s been in my experience that some people say they are ‘open books’ and wanting to know everything about the person…but the same thing doesn’t ring true for the ‘Other’ person in the transaction.
Do you know what I mean? I’m not saying ‘Hey, you think you’re open and you’re not.’ I just wonder–I think *this* is being open, and you think *that* is…How do you have a truly successful relationship and know for certain that you are being open? I ask because I have hidden corners and flaws, and don’t want them to be revealed. I’m not sure they need to be revealed, but I’m positive I make a good relationship partner. Thoughts?
I have been concealing a lot, but I feel it’s time for change. Mostly I conceal because I like to figure other people out – their tastes etc. But maybe there is too little centre stage left for me. In fact, there has been virtually no centre stage for me, and it’s not healthy. You cannot observe only- even with an aquarius moon. I can relate to the passionate energy you talk about, My man is the same.
Hmmm….I have Venus conjunct Neptune in Scorpio…in the 1st house so unfortunately I am a walking billboard. Not just any one dimensional billboard either. I mean the electronic ones that perpetually flash to grab your attention. That is how I would describe my ability to hide my emotions….or motives. I can’t and one of the other reasons I can’t is that Sagittarius Sun and Merc conjunct my big mouth. Stuff ( like my dirty laundry) just comes tumbling out. I’m not shy either so I’ll even tell you how my laundry got dirty.
I mean if one wears their flaws, fears and foibles on their sleeves then what’s to hide? and why bother?
My Sun is square Jupiter so I have faith that no matter what I tell a potential partner they’ll like me in spite of my flaws. So out comes the truth on the first meeting. I have four sons and that is the first thing that I tell anyone who seems a little bit interested in getting to know me. You cannot know me without knowing my sons.
If I could think of the one thing that I try to hide it would be my vulnerability. Oh, good grief! I just realized…..I do not like to show tender emotions.
Kashmiri, I think that it is sometimes very subjective also. What 1 person calls “open” another may find it just selective information. I don’t think it possible at all to have a healthy relationship (1 built on complete honesty) if one is hiding (or trying to at least) any aspect of themselves.
If my SO were doing this to me I’d think;
1) He did not trust me enough to share the truth of who he is 2) He is dishonest about who he really is 3) He is not facing the reality of who he is.
Well, at least this is how I’d feel if someone who is trying to have a relationship with me
failed to understand that relating requires truthfulness. I know it is fear of rejection that keeps people playing these games but we see how they usually end up.
i’m like that too, i tell everything to partner before he wants to make commitment, even though he says he fell in love with me. but i warn him looonggg before..this is who i am. If you dont like it, i can’t help that if you get disappointed later in life, when this is who i’ve always been. He likes to try to transform me, change me, so i can adapt to his ways, which i have, many many times and ways into his culture too. i am observant of his personality and quirks, and if i want to live with that forever. I decided yes, i’m willing to take that chance, despite it all. Has there been some disappointments, and things about my husband that i notice have actually changed? and would disappoint many women truthfully? of course!! i’m no perfect flower either; but the love doesn’t ever go away, and i really love marriage and togetherness alot. Finding the perfect fit is really difficult in life.
Kashmiri-hmmm…I know what your saying (I think?). I consider myself an open book, but I don’t expect everyone else to be the same as me. Even my husband, he’s very private about many things and there are still little things about him that I learn everyday. I don’t mind it, and even though he’s like that I still like to share everything about my life with him. I don’t think being a little closed off about certain areas of your life make anybody a bad relationship partner.
I think I’m more or less like that iceberg, I’m afraid. I conceal a lot of me. Especially when it comes to my emotions (12th house Moon) because I think of myself as an emotional freak so sharing it would make me so exposed…
And then I have 3 planets in Scorpio so I don’t show anything openly, especially when it comes to love. Bah.
Right there with ya Joana I’m loaded w/those Scorp planets as well. If someone is waiting on me to tell them of my luv grooves first, they’d be waiting a long, long time! In that capacity, I’m all about the other guy going first! I’ll be loving with them in actions, but words? They best be putting it out there first otherwise “Houston?? We have reached an impasse!”
Nothing. I couldn’t conceal anything if I wanted to. My chart is VERY let-it-all-hang-out. Especially with Aries rising!
I’m a Leo with Mars (chart ruler) conjunct the Sun.
Oh, there are two things I keep very tightly under wraps: my sex life and my money situation. That’s Venus conjunct Pluto in Virgo for ya.
working in the navy, just thought it would be interesting to share that in all their business planning/top-level enterprise strategy they use that same iceberg graphic.
Becca, I’d LOVE to have that Pin! It would be a floggin’ lie though.
I want to be like you when I grow up:)
SO’s Neptune squares my sun. My neptune square his Uranus. I keep all my social media from him, in fact, not even using my real name. I have only mentioned once that I’m reading an astrology blog. He doesn’t talk to people online that he doesn’t know, even if he would find a place with shared interests. He’s very paranoid about such things. People, things, are interesting to me, so why wouldn’t I want to talk to them? I’m not hooking up or giving out my address and credit card. It’s definitely a sticking point if he sees me on my tablet all night, even when he’s taking a nap.