Judging People At First Sight

My husband and I were watching a program the other night and some gal came on and started talking. “Look at that smug bitch,” he said.

“You think she’s smug?”

“Yes.”

“You don’t think you’d get along with her?”

“I don’t think I spend 30 seconds with someone like that.”

I thought this was funny and interesting. I could see what he saw, but was less reactive to it. Not that there aren’t things or quirks about people that turn me off just as quickly.

Are there certain people you have an almost immediate bad reaction to? Where do these triggers come from?

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Judging People At First Sight — 26 Comments

  1. Years ago at the hotel, a new woman was hired for my department. She was so full of herself, so take charge, so, in my opinion, bitchy. I went to talk to my manager at the time about the fact that I just didn’t like her. My manager got real quiet, and then said, “she reminds me a lot of you”.
    I was able to look at that, and we became friends.

  2. ruth I have wondered that about myself at times.

    The number one thing I can’t say because it might be crossing the “don’t bad mouth group line”.

    Next would be people who curl their lip like Elvis…not trying to be funny. It makes me think they have contempt for people and I don’t want any part of dealing with them.

  3. I can honestly say that, I really don’t judge people that harshly when I first meet them, even if they do something or act in way that is offensive to me. I really try never to write someone off/judge someone before I get to know them, I think it’s unfair, because you wouldn’t want to be treated that way so you shouldn’t do that to others. Some people act “bitchy”/egotistical/ over confident to cover up things/insecurities, you never know what someone is going through unless you have been in there shoes. So I will always save my judgement until I really get to know them and even when I can’t get to know someone I will still be respectful and polite toward them, It’s only when someone jumps to false conclusions about me, that’s when I might start judging them, I usually think (What’s with this person why are they being so judgmental of me someone they hardly know? That’s a little rude..) Even then I will still probably be friendly ( Like I said I will save my judgements for when/if I get to know a person)

  4. I’ve been guilty of judging negatively at first sight – every man ive ever loved and some of my best friends. So now I know if I have a really bad reaction, I should just wait.

  5. Sometimes I have very strong reactions to people who look similar to someone I already know (both good and bad). I am always aware of the reason though (that they look like so and so). When I can sense my reaction is unreasonable but I can’t control it I just make myself scarce.

    An example of this was on the bus several years ago. I had an argument with a woman who triggered me. Another passenger backed me up–he was a much older Eastern European guy, and he got off at the same stop as me and said ‘heat makes some people crazy! She was crazy!’

    I still felt bad, because I knew she looked exactly like an old landlord, who was mentally ill and bully to boot.

  6. I really try to practice acceptance. Especially because I have had a lot of assumptions made about me. Everyone has a negative aspect to their personalities. The only thing I can do is try to decide whether I want that in my life or not. Other than that I don’t feel I’m in the position to judge. I mean, plenty of people out there think I’m insane. It’s just one ego meeting another.

  7. Venus in scorpio goes with the gut. I haven’t really examined my triggers and am not very conscious of them. There is no particular thing that sets me off that I know off.

    I take people on a case by case basis. I have to “feel” them first. If my gut has an adverse reaction to the feeling I’m getting, I make myself scarce.

  8. Eek. I called an elder step-brother last night to see how he’s recovering from an eye injury and the conversation unexpectedly turned ugly. I was subjected to all manner of truly fowl gender-based profanity. It’s 15 hours later and I’m recovering from the mysogenist profanity. Eek.

  9. Angry people in general I tend not to be able to deal with, I get scared and nervous. But also people that are judgmental turn me off too, I won’t take it and it pisses me off.

  10. scorpios. i came into contact with a scorpio last year, who just made snake noises every time i came into the room. quite horrible to be on the end of actually.

  11. Two-faced “shredders, with a feral cat gene. And I seem to “find” them..or they find me. I have people tell me, after they get to know me, “Well, you’re really nice..” I apparently come on as aloof. People are always pegging me as a school teacher. Actually, I’m an “observer”, who tries to see what I’m dealing with, before I interact with another person; or, others in groups, etc. I would only be “snooty” to those who were being snooty themselves..after making it clear I wouldn’t be joining them in their little games. I am fine with being an iconoclast, an individualist; but, will not take part in judging those who have differing opinions, unless they come across as being judgmental..toward, either myself, or another person they’ve honed in on with their laser beam, of character assasination. All that “us” vs “them” stuff is what we’ve all witnessed, just recently, in the Presidental campaign. Which is why I’m a registered “Independent” voter. Seems to me that the “Us’s” and “Them’ses” are just giant blobs, with many faces; & I don’t care to be part of it. “Judge not, lest ye be judged”, is a pretty good, little scripture; and great advise. Hard to adhere to, tho; as we are all guilty of it, daily. Even being against those who judge, is a judgement call, in itself. Most all of our kettles, are black; truth be told. Some just have that pretty ceramic coating, on the outside.

  12. The type of macho man when it’s obvious he’s just acting macho to hide his insecurities or whatever. A real man doesn’t need to put on a show. Also, people in authority positions if they don’t have any natural authority. Oh yeah and people who talk all the time so you can’t get a word in. These are people I don’t like to socialize with unless forced.

  13. Most superficial people
    I’m talking the bright bleached blonde girl with an orange tan who’s a slave to cheap fashion and talks about the crap you find in a cosmopolitan magazine.

    I judge most girls actually, I think it’s a girl thing.

    I also think it’s ok to judge people on first sight sometimes since a lot of people express some part of themselves in their looks. However, there are a lot who don’t.

  14. If I were Sylvia Browne’s publisher, I would not put her picture on her books. That woman just looks sour and MEAN. She has the same expression on her face as my evil aunt does. Hell, if I were her publisher, I’d do my damndest to make sure nobody ever saw her face. I sure as hell wouldn’t purchase anything from someone who looks like everyone in the world disgusts her.

  15. I used to have a coworker who walked around looking like she’d sucked on a lemon. Perma-pout. And she was rude to boot. She’s actually one of the few people in life I’ve disliked so much, from the get-go, that I actually wanted something bad to happen to her. :/ (That’s BAD.)

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