Is There Karmic Retribution For Cheating On Your Spouse?

Green vintage zodiac plateDear Elsa,

What happens to people, karmically, if they cheat on their husbands or wives? I know a woman with whom I work with, and she has 2 kids and she cheats on her husband with multiple men and he has no idea. Like, is there anything karmically that comes around to people?

She justifies this because she feels her husband is apathetic towards her. She does it, I think, like a drug addict. She likes the chase, the catch and then the conquer. Okay so I have a confession. I know all her secrets because I was checking her email and I can see the men she emails. She plays the victim, like “oh poor me I work so hard, my husband doesn’t think I’m sexy.” But, I can see emails from him to her saying hello beautiful, gorgeous, blah blah blah. Anyways, whatever. But it pisses me off.

She is sleeping with the president of my company, and she has also slept with other men who work in it, too. It’s just SO slimy! And she won’t leave her husband. She was also sleeping with another man in the company, but then when the President hit on her, she dumped the sales guy & went for him.

She has her same story that she tells these men. She tells them she is married and her husband doesn’t pay attention to her. Two of these men, the sales guy & the president LEFT THEIR WIVES FOR HER, and then she goes, no, I’m going to give it one more shot with my husband. She blames it on her strict religion (she is from Iran) and says she doesn’t want to break up her family. So she just goes around playing these men & they fall for it.

Anyway, I guess I just needed to vent. This woman is 36 and she is acting like this. I guess she is unhappy inside & sleeps with these men for a feeling of power, or I don’t know. It just bugs me, it’s slimy.

Are there repercussions karmically for stuff like that? Or it is just her own battle, we all have our inner battles, and this isn’t any worse than being an alcoholic or cheating on your taxes?

Office Snooper
United States

The writer is a 27 year old woman. Click to see the chart full size

What do you think? Is there karmic retribution for cheating?

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Comments

Is There Karmic Retribution For Cheating On Your Spouse? — 92 Comments

  1. My happy husband (he says he was and so was I) lost his mind when an old girlfriend moved 3 blocks from our home. She began coming over, pretending to be my friend. He started a secret 15 month long affair with her. He told her he loved her, he was sending pictures of his penis and they both were wishing things could be different so that they could be together. They never missed one day of communication. I uncovered, by mistake, over 43,000 text, 500 phone conversations and 90 pics sent back and forth. All the while neither of them felt bad about what they were doing. Since discovery, I’ve found out that this is the SAME woman he cheated on his first wife with, 37 years ago (several girlfriends too). She weighs 300 lbs and has a colostomy bag due to anal cancer, but that didn’t matter. I have been absolutely devastated. I do not believe in karma. If I did, then all this damage that was done, to me, from their affair, was payback for something I’ve done. I did nothing wrong. However, this horrible female has just been diagnosed with stage 4 bone cancer in her spine. I hope she considers it karma. I hope she thinks about how she wasted her second chance at life by hurting someone that never deserved it. I’ll bet she doesn’t throw her fat head back and laugh at me in public anymore. I do not think my marriage will survive. My husband should be very afraid of what he will reap for his part in all of this. I would like to know why he isn’t with her if they’ve been wishing and messing around for nearly 40 years. His birthday, Dec 1st. My birthday, May 9th. Her birthday, June 21st.

  2. What hurts is, we were so happy until this! Not even a real argument! Now I just don’t know. Was he unhappy? He didn’t seem it at all. I just don’t understand.

  3. I cheated on both husbands. I have been held accountable. I struggle mightily with guilt and shame. My sex life post second divorce has been feast and famine. I don’t think I’ll ever find another man who loves me as much as my second husband did. But I couldn’t love him back. Then you have my dad who cheated on my mom then left her and my siblings for his second wife. Now he’s planning his fourth or fifth African safari with the woman who will become his fifth wife. He’s quite the rolling stone.

    • I’m sure you’ll find a way to forgive yourself. Self doubt just attracts negative experiences. Self-forgiveness is good soul food. Law of attraction exists, but it starts out so subtle, and can take years to manifest.

  4. The question is wrong. Karma isn’t retribution. Karma is what is energy that is out of balance and needs to be corrected. You can’t cheat it because it’s more like something you have to learn on your own. It may feel like a punishment but that is only after the imbalance becomes something that is effecting others. Buddhist call this gross imbalance in the soul “preta.” They generally develop it from a lifetime of a “socially acceptable” imbalance…like making money or sleeping around because you’re gorgeous(without regard for the effect it has on other people)or even violence that took place in war…but it gets corrected with the same imbalance showing up as something socially unacceptable in the next lifetime (that way it’s not as easy to get away with it). There are so many addictions that are socially unacceptable there is no need to go into examples. A “preta” is like a bottomless hole that is never satisfied. The ultimate point is to address what is causing this lack in the first place.

  5. The word lack leaves me empty the word preta in Portuguese is black maybe black hole long way to be a long way to journey I try each moment to look out of my eyes in the realm of what surround me and feel and know honestly ,know I work with my heart and I try my best I can fail ,others they can feel I failed them they are entitled their feelings I can’t think of how many he chose over me I still choose me I can’t keep hurting myself with trying to imagine anything but what I want to feel in regards to my journey

    • This woman who is sleeping around says her husband isn’t showing her attention. That tells me she is afraid his lack of attention might mean his affections might/are being given to someone else. Otherwise, why worry about it? I don’t meet too many woman who aren’t terrified of being alone. All it takes is her picturing herself as the lonely spinster surrounded by cats and she is suddenly whoring herself out to the first man who is friendly to her (in this case her boss and some other guy). Any company is better than none. They tell themselves this means they are not alone but they obviously very lonely. It’s a gross lack. She needs to address her fear of being alone. It doesn’t matter if the husband is giving her attention or not. If she was secure in herself it wouldn’t be a crisis and she could risk asking him about it or taking steps to rekindle her relationship. Of the 3 men, her husband is the one she married. Obviously she still feels something towards him. What is sad is the fact she is dragging these other men into her problem. It’s not as if these other men are completely inculpable victims. They obviously are cheating on their spouse also. Something is wrong on both sides of that equation. I think it’s erroneous to just blame the woman only. This lack is so common it’s considered normal (hence, the “socially acceptable” imbalance.) It’s no different with greed and people’s association with money. They are ultimately afraid they will one day be without money so they squirrel it away at the expense of other people’s happiness. It’s a sickness that is rampant and unchecked in our modern world.

  6. Karma has a long memory. Men sleep around all over the place – not much is said. Always 2 sides to a story. Maybe her husband is v old. And perhaps snoopy is jealous. And does snoopy want someone to tell her to go tell the hubby?

    • Even if not much is said, the karma is still there. Whether or not someone witnessed it doesn’t matter. The person involved in the excessive behavior knows what they are doing and believes they are “getting away with it.” The seven deadly sins are not sins when done in moderation. They are only sins when done in excess. We are here to become symmetrical…hence, “diamond mind.” Crystals are perfectly symmetrical so they conduct energy. This is our task…to change our “equipment” so it conducts higher energies. Right now we are muddled down with all the imbalances of excesses in wrong food or laziness of the body (earth), excess emotion (water), violence (fire), evil deeds associated with the mind; ie. arrogance, hatred, and greed (air). Diamonds are not only perfectly symmetrical on all four sides but indestructible. They are forged from incredible amounts of heat and pressure from inside the earth. Sages, according to Buddhist texts, are tested by abuse and they are forged like a sword being pounded into something strong and sharp. This obviously is no easy task.

    • I think you are a serial cheater.. All you have done here is judge..attack the snooper and made excuses for the cheater..carry on..not only is karma bad..there is also something called self damage when u think you are hurting others for ur sick pleasures

  7. I just want to thank you all for the unexpected bath of healing your comments have brought to this newly awakened woman who’s chart has recently been rocked by major transits to lilith, 7th, 8th, 11th and 5th houses. Kindness from strangers. (weep) Thank you.

  8. I don’t blame the lady for being a supposed snooper. Sometimes chicanery goes on that is unavoidably obvious and it is aggravating. I think she’s merely making the observation and pointing out behavior that is clearly inappropriate. I hope there is karma but my experience is that people who cheat at whatever seem to get a free pass.

    • Not for me, GTO. I don’t get a free pass at all. I just flip someone off that doesn’t deserve it, and two weeks later I get a slap in the face by the universe. I think it’s my Capricorn Moon, and aspects to Saturn.

      • I have to agree then. I’d be the guy who gets pulled over for 3 over the speed limit while other people are passing me. Is it an illusion that karma seems to hit conscientious people more than the takers in the world? Maybe some people are held to different cosmic standards.

        • My opinion only. I believe those with ‘instant consequences’ have come to a pivot point in their spiritual evolution. Sorry about things such as the 3 over the speed limit, that’s unfair, LOL. Yeah, exactly what I’m talking about. I fart in someone’s face, the next day the cat farts in my face.

  9. Wow my Gemini moon brain is glutting itself on all these different insights and emotions from this post including Pluto issues a little bit close to home in the sump pump I’m gonna go use on my soul besides the mountains of shit I’m plowing via Pluto in my basement. 1. Office Snoop, there’s a book that often is used for making people feel worse than before someone used it for ammunition n twisted parts. In Catholic school we called it the Good Book but in grade one I read quite a few pages and decided that it was Good in intention but I liked Beverly Cleary ‘ books about Ramona Quimby better. THOSE were Good books. One author, no contradiction in what was okay and what rules kids just….don’t fuck with. The giant Good Book says though He without sin cast the first stone.” That’s good advice. Office Snoop has enough rocks of vitriol to toss at the coworker cheater that she could accidentally start some shit if she’s located too close to the Israel Palestine border. Stone thrown out at the wrong place could start an international incidrnt. She better keep them in her glass house.

    • Office snoop could be another man…in love with the “married woman” who is cheating with other men who are not him? Neva know 😉 Doesn’t have to be a the cliche’ jealous female…

  10. Oh shit! I forgot someone suggested OS might be the adulteress herself seeking penance for the self loathing in herself at Blessed Elsa ‘ Virtual Confessional booth. I am like the only Catholic kid I knew who liked to have confession. And get my penance. I felt lighter. I still have this feeling but it’s been years since I went to confession and my penance might be a dissertation size list. This is a topic that hits home too close for comfort right now. I am reluctant to get into too much detail because I have been lucky enough to have Elsa bloggers take interest in my public life n buy my records (I didn’t solicit…it was private message questions) when I first joined as Neap Tide. Crazy roomier hacked it but anyway. ..my marriage ended recently. I was trying to get thru to him and he was so aloof n unapproachable n I had a ton of health shit…. I was lonely and recently now that we’re on good terms, he addressed the couple unhealthy close relationships PLATONIC I has gotten embroiled in from lack of communication and camaraderie at home. In some ways I felt like I could be more open n emotionally unhindered with the friends I am speaking of. Problem was, a couple of them wanted to get involved in an affair. The last thing I wanted was dick n balls in my coffeehouse conversations n Goodwill shopping….it got ugly. Fast. One creep high up at nasa who I barely knew almost got fired for smut he IM ‘d me from nasa computer. I felt guilty like I’d led thrift store friend on unknowingly. ..He was a misogyny guy who blames women for imagined slutty games nonstop. I was lonely but not that lonely. I told my husband and he was in different in a way til the guy tried to force himself on me physically. My ex thought I was just being needy…. now I am forced to go back and excavate boundaries that weren’t respected n a marriage in trouble for years. Since the divorce he has discussed it with a great therapist who is indirectly helping me understand what his own life was like from inside at that time unrelated to me or us as spouses. But I am facing a reckoning of necessary solitude and taking inventory. I never even kissed that friend but he went on to make my reputation shit with lies… until he started to do it to other women married or seriously involved. Minor vindication but it was my Saturn return n that is what I got. Still dunno what the lesson was just I feel karmically spiritually and humanly like I’m getting it worse than the office receptacle. And he only tried to kiss me once. I smacked him. I was lonely for my HUSBAND. I felt sorry for the dork that ended up being the wannabe other man. He was a little dorky guy I played music with. I was being a good friend but pussy speaks louder than vintage Leonard Cohen albums n I tempted him. God this post fucked my head up bringing back bad memory. I’m reaping something that I sowed. N I never physically cheated. So how culpable am I? Saturn return dulled my heavy 8th house psycho filter. I wish someone snooped thru my journal n emails online. They would a seen I was suicidally terrified by the other man who was not even that. I still have a bad reputation in a few circles from him. Whore. Man hater. Violent. WTF? OS coworker rode a xylophone of penises. I rode a motorcycle that year. Thanks for listening to the free flow therapist worthy novel.

  11. Egads. What’s with all of this (mostly dated) critical commenting here? The office worker posted what she’d discovered and asked a question about karma. She didn’t ask for anyone’s opinion on reading someone else’s e-mail. Speaking from personal experience, I’d say I’m aware of perhaps say, in a third of cheating cases that I’ve been familiar with, a type of “what comes around goes around” or some other one-sided misfortune has come about within ten years to the one who orchestrated the deception that very much, and not in a good way, affected the lives of others. (I, myself, have witnessed this type of office cheating going on in six offices that I’ve worked in over the years, right out in the open unless the wife/husband being cheated on appears. Just saying.)

  12. I think a broader view of karma would be helpful here. Karma is a simple law of cause and effect, a neutral law that serves as way to balance unbalanced energy. And as I understand it, it works on the soul timeframe, over many incarnations.

    So my short answer to…is there karmic retribution? Would be “No.”

    BUT there is karmic balancing. So if we can accept the fact that souls choose lifetime challenges to be of service to others in that lifetime, and to expand/evolve themselves, it releases us from the need to judge.

    Something is clearly being balanced between the Snooper and the Cheater. But without specific knowledge of why their souls have chosen these challenges, our only real responsibility here is understanding and compassion. It’s pretty easy to view their actions as “causes” for “bad karma” (but remember there is NO such thing..karma is neutral). Karma says they chose to experience these “effects” to balance a dynamic from the past.

    I’ve never been the Snooper or the Cheater, but have been Snooped and Cheated plenty. After years of Mars in Scorpio in the fourth house rage, square a first house Leo stellium with a Venus/Pluto conjunction in the middle…..I had to find new interpretations for what was going on.

    I am not that great on chart synthesis and interpretation but when I see (in the attached chart), the Mars/Moon/Uranus conjunction in Scorpio (with venus square the mars/moon)…yikes. There’s a lot of soul growth embedded in that group. Also look at all that Virgo stuff conjunct the 3rd house cusp PLUS mercury AND Pluto in the 3rd…I’m thinking snooping in a coworker’s email warning sign?!

    Elsa..one more question on the chart..i thought maybe given this was for a 27-yr old that the Saturn Return might be kicking in..but then I noticed this has Saturn in Virgo? Is she 37 maybe?

  13. i’m guessing she finds the entire real life story of the woman in question so very fascinating!! like wow! she is able to twirl men around her finger like that? And they all know that she is like that but don’t care. Maybe it’s pure amazement what “power” she has. Like how is it that some women can’t do that, but there are few who can just get away with it without feeling remorse? or guilt. Like the power of temptation is greater than the remorse and hurting others? So it’s in amazement.

  14. maybe temptation is not the word I’d use. maybe it’s the power to just wrap men around your fingers. That’s power. Unfortuantely it’s misuse of power.

  15. I believe the “late degree” planets in a sign have instant karma attached to it…I have 29 Taurus Jupiter so I am speaking from personal experience.

  16. What is weirder than the actual situation… Because there will always be sociopaths, is the strange responses in the 2008 and some of the 2011 responses to this post.

    It is said that the truest way of finding out whether someone is a sociopath is to wait until the end of their life to see if they are alone and miserable.

  17. I was not faithful in my marriage and a long time relationship after that although we had split. Both relationships were making me un happy.
    Have I now got so much bad karma that I will not meet anyone as i have not met a nice man for years?

  18. Haha, sometimes people get away with things!

    I remember Saturn in Libra almost ten years ago. The limits of justice. Maybe the Christians are right, there is a heaven, or a hell. I even wish people I don’t like to go to heaven, I just can’t imagine hell. The horror!

    How long does it take the body to die? How long does it take your sins to catch up to you? The long term is unpredictable.

  19. I was raised with Catholic heaven and hell. That didn’t stick. I later adopted or created for myself various flavors of “karma”. Those have all been jettisoned too.

    I have Jupiter square Uranus. My beliefs come and go.

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