Is Love A Curse?

Venus, Cupid and MarsI was shocked when my husband told me he felt that love was a curse and I realized he was serious!  I have Mars in Libra. I hunt love so the idea someone would think it undesirable was new. I like oddities and concepts that are foreign though. I was open to hearing about this.

I’ve heard plenty over the years. I’ve accepted that his feelings were different than mine and I’ve come to a deep understanding of this.

If you are geared towards some other pursuit and you’re hit by Cupid’s arrow, you’re in deep trouble. When you love someone, you really can’t get away from them. You think about them all the time. You know you belong with them and this is a horrible burden if you have other things you want to do in your life that may be easier to pursue or accomplish if you’re single.  Your love forces you to accommodate this other person and if you’re not used to that kind of thing, I can see where it would be a jolt.  Consider the times that the other person is demanding. What about when your purposes and theirs cross rather than align? Arrrgh!

I’m so relationship-oriented, I have never really fathomed why someone would choose to be a Priest or a Nun or a Monk or whatever. My grandfather lived this way and I watched that, however he was constantly trying to get a date, even if he failed at it.  But I do understand now.  I can see how a person might want to pursue a spiritual path or some other path of exploration and falling in love just jacks everything beyond belief.

Is love a curse? Where is your Venus?

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Is Love A Curse? — 39 Comments

  1. I wrote the book! Venus in 8 Libra conjunct Libra ascendant and otherwise totally unaspected.

    At the moment I’m experiencing the Pluto transit square heavily, so many weird attractions, a bit heavy for a gentle Libra Venus, I wonder what will happen when Uranus moves into the picture too…

  2. Mars-Sun-Venus in Cancer in the first; Sun is the midpoint in the conjunction of Venus & Mars.. (Mars 11th house ruler/ Venus 5th & 12th / Sun 3rd house ruler) I think the partner reflects that which you dread sometimes.. if you can’t express it yourself. My partner, a Venus in Aries in the 11th/ Mars Taurus..in the 12th…

    When one is “cursed” with love, its good to know, that you are not the only one this “curse” is bestowed upon otherwise it would feel massively worse for it to be all one sided.

    And yes I get the curse thing myself.. there is a dread in no uncertain terms when hit by it.. that if you don’t pursue, in my case, or follow it to the end.. that life will never present such a thing ever again.. Mars probably puts more pressure on Venus which makes that drive more … and curse like.

    And eventually if time is kind and both people start feeling a little more secure with this earth shaking feeling that has lasted in spite of life & duty and always being pushed aside for more practical matters.. we breath a sigh of relief to know, the curse really is what all that responsibility and feeling for another brings about.. a very serious thing.. not to be taken lightly.. but never to be discarded lightly or avoided if it strikes.

    Most “traditional astrologers” would say “Venus in Aries with a Venus in Cancer!! Outrageous!” ah, we got a quintile in there between the two..if you are curious.. Besides his Psyche & Moon are all in Cancer in my 1st. And we share the same ASC degree.

  3. Venus in virgo, semisextile, libra uranus, inconjunct aqua moon/mars. My venus wants to partner, but it needs to back up, take a hard look, merge, back up again, make sure the person is on the same page, merge, scootch back again….urghhh..lol., a lot of push/pull, but once you’ve got me, you’ve GOT me. All of me. Too much forward reverse, for me, but it helps to make a decision. LOL. yeah, Libra Uranus yanno? I’ve been told I’m a handful.

  4. I walked away from the love of my life because I had bigger fish to fry which at the time I couldnt articulate and didn’t understand. And if I had it to do over I’d do the same thing.

  5. I think true, honest love is very hard to find. So if you do find it, you are experiencing something very special. If it’s true love, I would never consider that to be a curse, although I understand the point being made.

    Saturn Venus Aquarius 12th conj ASC.

    When younger, I never wanted to be bothered with a serious relationship, but now it’s all I think about. It’s like in order for me to experience a full life, I have to experience it with someone special. It totally feels like there is a void right now.

  6. What I realized is given the way people struggle in love, I can imagine being a nun and feeling glad it was not my path, lol. This is a big movement for me. 🙂

  7. I have venus in virgo square jupiter from the fifth house; which is squared by saturn in the second. The way I relate to this has to do with my son. Before I had him I was pretty carefree. I had no worries, really, I was young and pretty confident I could handle what life threw at me.

    Then I had him. Suddenly God gave me something I was *terrified* to lose. Suddenly I was afraid not for myself but for him. Suddenly I was a pretty insignificant mortal human young woman without much to offer except everything I had.

    So. Then I realized — love is a curse. I was never easy with my responsibility; I see other people with their kids who grow up all fine and strong and straight and smart — which mine did too — but somehow I don’t think those parents walked around for years thinking — but what if, what if, something happened? What if, what if something terrible happened? What if I lost him?

    That’s the curse.

  8. Love?? I am not familiar with that term.
    As for nuns etc – well, some people just really like to be alone. Those with too much Neptune will understand. People are a drain on our systems.

  9. I’m surprised at how much I agree with the soldier at times. He sounds like the sort of dude I wouldn’t get along with in general (macho/manly/martial), but since we sound like we have some similar astro-stuff, I guess that’s where it comes from.

    Anyway, yes, I totally agree.

    Here’s what I don’t like about love:
    (a) it makes you batshit crazy and irrational. It’s like you picked up a raging cocaine habit and you can’t think straight and you make all kinds of stupid decisions you normally wouldn’t do.
    (b) When they break up with you, then you’re forced into rehab/detox. And finding a replacement drug is a bitch.
    (c) Not everyone is suited for partnership (like me) in the first place, so trying to fit someone else tends not to work.
    (d) It does limit your life choices when you have to accommodate someone else. What do you do when your calling/career conflicts with that? Or theirs conflicts with you?

    I do think sometimes it’s a freaking calling, though. Even though calling a person a calling is probably considered really strange.

    I have had uh…predictions about this happening to me in a few years. It definitely feels like A Calling because while partnering with that person may help my career, it’s also been indicated that I am going to have to do things I actively don’t want to do because of them being in my life. Let’s just say I get the Empress card a LOT in readings about this situation and leave it at that. This person will force me to become a motherly creature and ugh, I don’t want to! I hate mothering! I hate how mothering makes you crazy (again, love makes you crazy– note the theme) and feels like it’s sucking me dry when I am forced into that role as is. Yuck.

  10. Yes love is difficult for me and has not always been a blessing. My Venus is ruler of my 7th house. It is in Leo conjunct my MC and trine first house Neptune.

    My experience has been that I attract partners quite easily. However they are not necessarily “loving partners” in that they tend to project onto me what they want, not who I really am. So as a result I’ve gotten sidetracked and despaired and in all kinds of unfortunate codependent situations because relationships throw me for a loop. They knock me off center. I have to be REALLY centered in order to have a relationship that WORKS for me.

    It makes me think of Homer and the siren songs. I have a mission and when love calls it becomes really hard to stay in my mission. I hope to find a man who is part and parcel with my mission.

  11. I’m on the fence. I have Venus in Capricorn in the 7th House. The older I get, the MORE I see what you are saying. Falling in love can make people do crazy things but isn’t it about finding someone who can create a nice balance? Like you Elsa, I also have Mars in Libra so when an ex told me the same thing, I cringed at the idea but as time goes by – I tend to think there could be some truth there. Very thought provoking. Thanks Elsa.

  12. I have mars in libra and i didn’t like all that ‘cursed’ relationship with my ex-scorpio. Learned a lot though, very useful, but very draining. That’s why eventually i chose to be with Gemini 😀

  13. Love isn’t a curse for me. 4H Venus, 8H Saturn, 12H Neptune in Grand Fire Trine.

    Love is fuel. Venus conjunct Mars in Aries.

  14. well, when i was trying to use it to sort out my mommy issues, it was. more of a trial than a source of support. but now, it’s one of the most grounding things in my life (er, uhm, i guess that there taurus moon he has probably helps with that, too.)

  15. Moon/Mars in Libra. I say this instead of Venus because with Saturn going over them I’ve realized that as an adult I live out and value Libran qualities in relationships far more than my Scorpio Venus would suggest.

    I dreaded this Saturn transit but all I’ve found is that it’s opened my eyes to how much relationships cost me. There’s a price for everything and I’m always the one paying the price (no matter who’s charging the purchases, it seems like). For the first time, I’m not interested in partnership, or sex, because they have no value to me.

    It’s incredibly strange, and it’s freeing. I am free to find out who I am and what I want without factoring in anyone else’s wants or needs. In that sense, I think love can certainly be a curse. I can already tell when I emerge from this transit I will never look at relationships the same way again. Interaction without synergy has become valueless for me.

  16. Exactly what Shannon said: I understand this intellectually, but it doesn’t make emotional sense.

    I have Mars-Venus-Pluto conjunct in Libra trine my moon. The agony of a relationship is also the extascy of a relationship. *smiles*

  17. Yes,….anything involving sacrifice can feel like a curse.

    I happen to have Venus in Libra in the 12th on my So.Node, sitting right next to Juno and Ceres. Ugh!

    With the current Saturn trans (squaring my Mars) — it’s been a real doozie.

    I’d love to have some insight on these being in my So. Node and in the 12th. Does this indicate I should be “moving away” from sacrifices made for children, love, and marriage, putting it in my past and not grieve it,…and dive into day-to-day independent, scheduled, active reality?

    At least, that’s what I understand about it at this point.

  18. It’s not a curse, but it does seem to be karmically heavy and most folks don’t bother checking their baggage.

    I get tired of the incessant demands of others, and it is harder for me to write when other people are around. Hence, being on my own is usually best. Most of the time, what I get out of relationships is nowhere near what I put in, so it’s easier just to keep to myself.

  19. Love is work (venus square saturn). Yes, definitely worth the work (ah, but I am old enough to have reaped the rewards!)

  20. Oh Goddess, yes, love is a curse and always has been for me. My Cap Venus in H5 square Libra Neptune is only too good at building castles in the air; while my fixed Taurus Moon is all in every time and finds it almost impossible to detach – ever.

    I’ve loved deeply and totally and been badly hurt every time. And I’ve sacrificed all my career goals to that: love always addles my mind completely, to a point I’ve found it hard to function professionally when in emotional turmoil.

  21. I also have Mars in Libra in my 11th, house of Big Wishes, opposite my Jupiter in Aries in the 5th. I am a double Sagittarius. I have a packed 11th Saturn 9 degrees away from Mars in Libra and an exact VENUS NEPTUNE conjunction in Libra in the 11th. So LOVE A CURSE!!! for shame .I’m an incurable romantic and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I think I get your point though. I am in my 2nd marriage have 2 beautiful children born 15 years apart. I think my Neptune Venus conjunction trumps Mars in Libra. Yes its hard for me to make up my mind. I love my Libra planets. I’m sure I was a nun in a past life though. I can understand that more than saying love is a curse.. I am a professional astrologer and psychic.

  22. Falling in love is a curse for me
    Having a partner is a blessing
    Venus cap trine Neptune,Mercury midpoint, Jupiter in Gemini seventh house

  23. No, not to me. But I can see what he means. It can be painful if you love someone else, and they don’t love you back. Or you don’t like some of their personality traits, yet you still love them.

  24. Venus AND Mars in Scorpio here, though Venus in 4th and Mars in 5th. I’m so very soothed by Elsa’s post, and making connections to the recent post about being a person who IS cut out for marriage. As a feminist it can be difficult to want this love that seems to undermine everything else. And yet undeniably for me, at least, the urge to merge is so powerful.
    Before my current relationship, I had 7 years of celibacy.
    As I approach my 55th birthday, I’m becoming more and more grateful for the opportunity to care deeply about another. The struggle is the thing. The struggle really does help hone our hearts.

  25. There’s actually 2 intertwined topics here – love and relationships and usually when we talk of love, it’s most often about a relationship or relationships. I don’t agree with love as a curse, but understand the sentiment, as it can be something very difficult to navigate when it’s self vs the other or when it’s conflict of love of the person vs love of doing something (or for some, love of another) or just a chasm between partners. I think it depends on the two individuals and the dynamics of the relationship; and these are ever changing – people grow and change, the relationship dynamics shift and change as the people change, but mostly we’re viewing it all from the perspective of the self, unless there’s a lot of empathy and communication.

    Disclaimer, well, 🙂 – Venus in Gemini – conjunct 3rd house cusp. Cradle: Venus trine Desc/Neptune, Venus sextile Asc, Venus sextile Saturn/Pluto.

  26. Venus in Gemini, I love love but then get distracted by something new and shiny, then repeat forever. Being married now, I turned this aspect of my personality off. I still appreciate from afar, but it never goes farther than that even though it’s my nature!

    I think love can also be a curse when you’re married and all of a sudden you meet someone you can’t stop thinking about. That would kill me.

  27. My mars is conjunct my Ascendant, so I get being head strong and following ones own agenda, no matter what. I also have my Venus in Leo, which may be romantic, but the square from Pluto makes the power imbalances in love so painfully obvious to me. Fact is I can’t stand love and dating and courtship, never could – even now, knowing what I know, I’m still not quite sure I like it. Being open, honest and starry eyed.. it feels like a trap.

    I’ve often said that falling in love is the worst thing that can happen to me. I’ve tried coping with it in healthy ways; remembering that power is a construct, and that there really is no need to be so god damn afraid whenever I feel myself catching feelings for someone. And I knowww I’ve made HUGE strides in being openly vulnerable in love: I’ve stopped being distrustful by default, and I truly realize now that there is no point in trying to “win” anything by either controlling or run scared. Actually, that has turned out to be a sure fire way to lose. Go figure!

    But still: yes, love is a curse. I don’t think I’ll never not feel that way – which is probably why I was contentedly single for the first 27 years of my life 🤷🏽‍♀️

  28. With my north node in Aries in house 11, and Venus in Gemini (house 1) opposite Uranus in Sag (house 7), it’s like I was born to avoid love altogether, it was never meant for me anyway.

  29. I just chuckled at your description of Mars in Libra, hunting Love. I have a friend who’s a Libra Sun with Mars in Libra (and Venus conjunct Pluto in Scorpio) and hunting love is definitely her life’s mission. 💯

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