Inheritance

I inherited $143.35 from my mother this week.  I’ve had a very hard time articulating how I feel about this, mostly because the way other people feel about this, or how they view it intellectually does not connect with my own reality.

Annalisa inherited $143.35 as well and you may recall that our ascendents are only off by one degree so this is a shared experience.  Tomorrow there is a new Moon in Pisces that is part  a stellium in the sign which lands in our 2nd house – money and self esteem.  I think this is quite a puzzle.

How would you feel if your mother died and you were sent a check for $143.25?

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Comments

Inheritance — 81 Comments

  1. I’m not sure how I would feel. Any inheritance is a complex business.

    We have an odd story in our family. My grandfather had bought a property with his brothers back in the ’20s-’30s which was recently sold. There were about 30+ beneficiaries, but many of them have passed on and now their children will inherit. In one case the line has dies out altogether. One of my mother’s cousins died the day after receiving his share and another relative died a couple of days ago.
    My mother was supposed to receive a share but nothing yet and frankly it feels kind of tainted (goodness knows why, maybe because there’s been quite a bit of greed & even a court case over it) to the extent I suggested it might be better to give as much as possible away to charities.

  2. I think it would upset and derail me even if I knew all of her financial details intimately and expected the money (whatever the sum). It comes with a lot of history and memory, just would need to process, I guess. I have a funny relationship with money anyway – it’s not permanent, just a means…

  3. I’m not sure how I’d feel about the amount, and I’m pretty sure I’d still be in a daze.

    Being what it is, I think I would spend it quickly on something that my mother would want me to have, like food or a pair of shoes, or something else for my family. Something practical and mothering.

  4. Sad, then release the feeling back into the Universe (taking advantage of the current Piscean energy)and ask for peace to replace the void. My thoughts are with you.

  5. The divying of remaining assets is so very final. It increases the surrealness of the departed no longer being on the planet. It is weird, sad, and empty.

    On the practical side, it is indeed always good not to have to pay in for the deceased’s remaining expenses.

    I never can move on until I have eulogized the person and with someone like a parent, it can take years. My mom was easy to eulogize because I spent so much one on one with her the last years. (Although I do re-write that one every once and awhile.) My dad’s gone almost 6 years and I am first coming to grips with who my natal pluto on the midheaven 10th father was to me.

  6. “How would you feel if your mother died and you were sent a check for $143.25?”

    If she left a million to some other person, I’d feel really bad. If that was all she had to give, I would not begrudge her for it. Nor would I feel bad for myself. When I read the part that Annalisa got the same amount, I thought – well that’s good, you both were treated the same. I think bad feelings come into play when there is favoritism at play.

  7. Sad, I guess.But not about the money, it never really is in my book. My mum died and left enough to cover her funeral. She left me a ring I had bought for her and promptly gave to my daughter..she never had much at all, and she gave me more than money through her life.

    I guess if she’d been wealthy I might have had some separate kind of expectation, but she wasn’t.

    My Aquarian Dad has all his affairs in order and a fixed amount invested for each of his kids, a funeral plan bought and paid for, every detail addressed, me as power of attorney, and no mysteries there. We all know the financial details, and are enjoying that he is living his life very fully and happily and healthily right now at 86.

    How would I feel about that cheque? It would depend on the circumstances, uniquely personal to the individual.
    If my mum had left me a fortune,or if I’d got that cheque, I’d still be left contemplative about what that big slice of my life, and her entirety was all about.

    I think we all need a little time and space after such an event to “stop and stare”.. without being asked “are you okay?”..

    (ps my husband and I have a code for when we are with others it’s 143 = I love you).. so that number made me sit up a little.
    Thoughts with you and the family x

  8. Thank you, but I was and am fine with it. I guess if there is a point, it is that there is no point to it. They’re just numbers on a balance sheet unless there is punitive intent.

  9. I just think you should feel grateful. She left this money for you, as an act of love. Appreciate it. And use it, according to what she would have wanted you to use it for… And I am sure you know, somehow. All (most…) daughters do.
    I do not really understand the fuss about this. It is a common, normal thing here where I live, in Holland, to leave money for your children if you can(whom all get to share equally, by law, mind you) Whether it is a lot, or just little- does not matter.
    But it is considered…an inheritance!!!!… meaning: it includes the obligation to the receiver to leave the same amount ( or more, if possible) to the next generation.
    What could posssibly be wrong, or sad, or confusing about this?

  10. Elsa, How do you feel about your mother? Was your mother proud of you and your sister? Did she wish she could have been more like you.

  11. I agree with Daisy:
    “I would be getting $143 more than I expected. I would be thinking more of the legacy I inherited.”

    I’d be grateful, and unsure what to do with it, then probably blow it on something beautiful and non-functional. The only thing I really want when my mother dies is her/our antique secretary (desk, for those who don’t use that terminology) — I’ve been polishing that thing since I was a child and it holds most of my good memories of her within it. *smiles*

    If I received (rounding) $150 from my father, though, I’d feel as if I’d been slapped in the face!

  12. Hi Elsa,
    WoW on the check, & all the replys.. I feel sad from it all & hope it is not the same for long for you, if at all.. best,

  13. I suppose how you feel depends on your relationship to money and to your mother.

    I think no matter how much or how little money my mother left me, it would be eclipsed by the fact that she really gave me a lot in life. I recognise that she has always done her best to care for me and that in enabling my education and helping me raise my children she has done me incredible service.

    However, if my relationship with my mother was more complex than it is I’d feel all kinds of things about being left things from her. I might feel sad for her passing and for the relationship we never had. I might feel odd about receiving this money and not being sure whether to frame it or burn it or spend it or give it away. It’s a powerful symbol, but some people are more pragmatic than others and better at taking power back from symbols, or at rewriting the story.

    A friend of mine had a father who neglected her her whole life, but made her his sole heir and she inherited a small but significant sum of money after he died in a housefire. She felt all kinds of conflicting things about that, including termendous guilt – a few of us suggested that since this man had been unable to care for her during his life perhaps this was a gesture of care that he felt so she should use the money to make her life better/easier.

    $143 will not stretch far, but is there any way that you can spend that money that would give you pleasure?

    You are not from a normal family, so it is normal to not feel ‘normal’ things whatever they are. Each person’s response matches that person’s experience.

  14. This reminds me of a conversation I had more than a few times with my Dad, who passed on 18 months ago. He and my Mom helped me out financially so many times that out of guilt, I’d tell him not to leave me anything… he’d say, “Don’t worry… We’re leaving you nine dollars and ninety-nice cents.” Now that he is gone, I know with certainty that he and my Mom really accumulated just enough to retire on, and not a penny more. But no one expected interest rates to be so low for so long, so my Mom is really short on assets (and like many seniors, very healthy, and expects to live a lot longer). Truly a reminder to cherish the moments and experiences. Last night my 26 year old told me he never expects to retire, given the state of the economy – smaller real wages, higher health care/education costs, longer lives.

  15. I would keep it (in cash) in a special place. I know that sounds dumb but I am a sentimental sort. I believe at first I might think, “Is this all there is to show for a lifetime?” But that question would give rise to the realization that there are other considerations far more valuable. The modest amount would serve to remind me that money isn’t that important and that the relationship we shared was the real treasure. It would definitely serve to put money in its place.

  16. There was $286 left and it was split. She had little to leave but what she had is yours. As I recall, your contract with her was neglect and hunger this life? Perhaps spend it on lots of lovely food and drinks and have friends over for a slap-up meal.

  17. I would feel loved. My G-MA(who raised me) was a cruel woman who suddenly refused to speak to me left her home,money,etc to the ‘friend’ she replaced me with. She threw out all family papers and pics. Sold off everything. And didn’t even bother to tell our family. A I found out six months after she.died because a family member saw a.for sale sign on the lawn

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