Illness Complicates Things

Mercury Confiding the Infant Bacchus to the Nymphs 1734 Francis BoucherThis is an addendum to Cracking the Libra Mind.

Mercury in the 9th house, thinks about the future.  I have to choose a house, not just for today, but for tomorrow. It’s more important the house please others than it please me. Hey!  This is how Libra operates. And I’m an ethereal sort anyway. I don’t care where I live, except…

I care about my neighbors.  I don’t want a house I can’t maintain (which would be bad for the people nearby).

My concern on that front is my health. If you read here regularly, you know I have lupus. It is a bad-ass disease. I think I have a mild(ish) case of it, that might be fairly controllable, but I’m not sure. I can’t decide. It’s impossible to decide because so much is unknown.

For example, my son had a bad cold over the last two weeks. It was really nasty – he missed eight days of school. I hoped to not get sick and I didn’t up until a few days ago. At that point, I started to get sick but I was ultimately able to shake the cold. If you have lupus, your own antibodies attack you. So while I shook off the cold, I wound up with lupus symptoms, which are quite dramatic and debilitating. They are SAD.

I think what happened is my immune system kicked in to fight the cold. When my immune system starts up, the bad antibodies activate and things get ugly, quickly.

I don’t know if this is right. If it is right, I don’t know what it means. I believe that work is good for me. But if I do X and Y happens, I may see all kinds of activities curtailed.

My husband thinks I will be able to go another twenty years… but he may be in denial, right? I wonder if will be a choice between taking a leap of faith or playing it safe. I have no idea which makes the most sense, but it makes my head scream.

I am hoping that the choice becomes clear, or that I have some kind of sign or divine guidance. Ironically, stress is the worst thing in the world for lupus. But no one is going to have these outer planets transit their chart without some kind of upheaval. These next couple months will be something to behold!

Related


Comments

Illness Complicates Things — 22 Comments

  1. Oh Goodness Elsa, I feel your pain so much. Stress is a major factor and implementing the tools to reduce are crucial, such as getting enough sleep, eating well and regularly, etc. I am sure you know the things to do, its just doing them is probably more difficult for you as you are such a driven person who likes to stay busy. I continue to pray for you and your family. Wishing you success at a low cost to you physically and mentally.

    • ((I echo denamaria’s sentiments.))
      When the illness I live with was harshest we had to make difficult decisions. The immune system is an incredible network of actions and interactions. Was I coming or going? It was impossible to tell sometimes. Divine Intervention was precisely the factor that gave us what we could not have planned. We leaped. Like denamaria said, “Wishing you success at a low cost to you physically and mentally.” xoxo

  2. Omg, we are both experiencing this same energy from opposing vantage points. Transit uranus is exactly on my mars in the 9th. its inconjunct my mercury. This thing is really too much. Im sick of it myself. I feel the same way you do. . . unsure. . . about everything. And looking to signs. And I have wondered the same thing about a leap of faith vs playing it safe. F if i know. Good luck though.

  3. This transit is affecting my husbands moon, my sons IC, and my mars. Its quite disturbing. I cannot decipher the meaning of it all. Its breaking everything apart. But its been a long time coming. . . there’s some kind of major revelation coming but I can tell i can’t control the outcome. I can’t wait for some peace of mind. i want uranus to leave so i can make a sound decision.

  4. Once Uranus leaves everything will be less hectic in the membrane tehe. I have never in my life felt so hectic and we must be in the same boat- the mind just needs to be still. Personally I keep jumping in my mind from one idea to the next, hoping for some kind of solution but there is none because uranus cant get commited to one idea. He has too many ideas and that’s his problem. . Too much thinking. I don’t think a leap of faith would be good. Im waiting until it passes. Its not too much longer. . . Then Im going to meditate and make calm decisions. I got told by my dying client i care for with dementia that Im like a bird and she caught me and made me stay. hehe.

  5. My son has Uranus Pluto aspecting his Moon, Mercury and Jupiter, as well as the angles of his chart. Upheaval for him, but an opportunity as well. Jupiter. This is for his education!

    He really wants to go. He finds the prospect of having land, enticing. Here, he says, you walk out the front door…take a few steps and you’re at the street.

    My husband is past these transits. For him…well Saturn in Sadge is conjunct his Jupiter. His vision of the future is coming true.

    For me…I don’t know. I really don’t.

    But today, the listing agent for his house was here. I told her I was happy…well she knows that. It’s really doesn’t matter if I am ghastly ill. I mean, I’d rather not be, but also don’t think it makes that much difference.

    I’ll do my best no matter how I feel. I this constancy about me…it’s on like a light, almost always.

    I admit, there are times I can’t move and all I can say is if I tell you I can’t move…I mean exactly that! If I could move, I would.

    I just hope no one tries to drive a hard bargain with me at this time. Because if they do, I am sure to say, “Motherfucker, goodbye.”

    I hope it goes well. I have abundant concerns, all around not mistreating people.

    For example, if I buy FSBO, I will have wasted an agent’s time and they made no money. It doesn’t sit well with me. But I am not so co-dependent that I will buy a house so I can pay a commission.

    ::sighs::

    I just hope it unfolds okay.

    • You said, “his vision of the future is coming true” God, I hope this is so in my case as well. I have uranus conjunct jupiter in sadge in my 4th at 9/10 degrees. I would jump for joy if my vision came true… 🙂

      I think it will all work out. I’m sorry for your illness. But this move may be whats needed so you can heal. I know you’ll pick the best house. Just pick one that feels right…one that feels healing for you in some way.

  6. I know it’s easier said then done, but try to hold space in your mind for that first impression of the house. Either you rule it in or out. Everything else takes a backseat, to how you interpret what you see! How does the area and town feel to you? Any roads or places with familar names? How about the parish name? Does it connect with you? Do the same with the house, and property. I’ve seen enough episodes of House Hunter, to know people usually love a house if it speaks to them (if Walls could Talk). Grab that camera and take video/pictures for the rest of the gang someone else pointed out. Can you visualize you and your family living there? Does the house give you a good vibe? Is it bright, warm and cheerful? Or dark, dank, and drafty? Use all your senses! Sights, sound, and smell..In your minds eye, can you see yourself working in the kitchen, getting ready in the morning, activities of daily living? Just trust yourself, and stay firm on what you can and can’t do at baseline. No one has a crystal ball, just but good intentions!

  7. I might have to choose no house at all. But we’ll still move and rent a house until we can find something.

    I just hope I have my faculties. These symptoms are rough. I’ve got to high-function…ask the right questions and stuff.

    There is a significant chance I will buy without an agent. It’s not something I’ve done before, or that I want to do, but if it’s the house, it’s the house.

  8. Oftentimes when one among us is so strong, clever and insightful, we may forget that they also need a bunch of their good energy reciprocated. If I may offer this suggestion, remember to stay grounded and connect with your earthier aspects to aid your immunity during the move. Please know that we in the community support you Elsa.

  9. Jupiter is going to help a lot… (trine Uranus)

    If I move back home I will be expecting to live in my parents old house. They moved so the house was vacant until recently- my step-sister is living there. So I’ll have a roommate. I won’t expect to have much of anything at first. It’s going to be like living on a prayer. Literally. I can’t expect to move back and be with the love of my life. He’s no longer available. He couldn’t wait for me any longer and I shouldn’t have ever expected him to anyway. Besides, it’s a good thing…I should leave because it’s the right thing to do. A lot of this is like living on faith and a prayer…Some kind of test of faith in God ( Sagittarius) It’s just about surrendering to a higher power. The opposite of control.

    Anyway, Uranus has me all compelled to keep writing here I guess…lol. 🙂

  10. Outer planet transits are rough. But they don’t last forever. And it won’t always feel like this. Good luck soldier, do the best you can.

  11. Oh my friend–feeling bad changes all the equations…
    But my pal who got lupus back in the 1980’s is going strong:) With your history of natural foods you will likely put this in the background.
    I google every dumb health question I have and discover a wealth of information to deal with my endo problems…just dosed down off a steroid with the help of several websites which explained way more than my docs did.

  12. If I’ve learned anything from dealing with an autoimmune disease, it’s that my native workaholism is the main thing that contributes to it. I actually kind of think the illness as a gift that helps me stay on track with what my soul really needs (my early warning system I can’t ignore)…which often gets lost in my impassioned pursuit of this goal or that goal. Too often those goals are more intellectual than heart based, or even more emotionally based than in spiritual alignment. Basically I leave out important parts of myself when settling on these goals, then when I wear myself out pursuing them, the symptoms kick in to force me to slow down. At first it felt unbelievably constricting, and still often does…but I’ve learned that when this happens there is something else I’m supposed to be focusing on, even if it is just going slow and being in a place of calm and mindful presence. Or maybe completely revamping my goals in a most dramatic fashion.

    But my mars Pluto square makes it very hard to walk away from a challenge, once I’ve sunk my teeth in, so after 7 years I still wrestle with this question every day, of how much to do and whether it not it’s even worth doing at all.

    Good luck Elsa! Disease can be the greatest teacher, but it’s definitely not an easy lesson book. Yikes!

  13. Just going through the worst bout of flu I’ve ever had, at first I couldnt even turn over in bed at night for the pain, I kept thinking, this is what it’s like to be old and unwell, how brave older people are, to keep going despite feeling so ill with no respite. I know my illness will end, but endless pain is something else entirely.

  14. I don’t know if you’ve tried this or even care to, but if you can find a good brand of essential oils, I’d suggest you check out peppermint, orange, lavender and jasmine.

    Especially jasmine, just open bottle and take a deep sniff, no need to take it out. Very calming and grounding. Also, it’s smell is well know in South Asian regions to promote ‘sexy times’ 😉
    Orange is phototoxic. Please dilute heavily if you plan on appling any of them on skin. I personally would never suggest you ingest them in any dilution.

    A tiny bit of turmeric in your food everyday ( with a little black pepper to make it more effective) can help to combat inflammation and pain. Thankfully Italian food has a lot of ginger and garlic 🙂

    I’m sure you know this and a lot more already, but these things with massages, yoga and exercise really help a friend manage lupus.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *