I have had many boyfriends in my life. Some were very serious, to the point of possible marriage. But for some reason, there was always something missing from those relationships and I never felt as if I wanted to spend the rest of my life in them. I felt suffocated and restricted, although nothing had changed since the beginning of the relationships.
I met the most wonderful man four months ago, and I feel as if he might be ‘the one’. I’m afraid that the same old suffocating feeling is going to come back, and that I will unintentionally hurt this wonderful man who I truly want to be with.
Is there something in my chart that reflects this tendency to feel suffocated? Or was it maybe that the men in my past were just not the right ones for me? I’m afraid that I’m going to be running from love my entire life, while at the same time craving it. Do you have any insight?
Yep, you’re on to it. Part of you wants to be in a relationship and part of you wants out! And you’re right. It has nothing to do with the man. You’re a commitment-phobic who craves relationships and this is hard-wired.
As for the astrology, anyone with their Moon in the 7th house is going to have an emotional need to be partnered. PERIOD.
But you’re an Aquarius rising. And you have Uranus in hard aspect to your Sun. And you have Jupiter conjunct your Mars and square your Venus. And all of this shrieks “Don’t fence me in!” And if you want evidence of this, just check your email address…
Your email address is how you identify yourself, right? And yours is the equivalent of FreeSpirit@blahblah.net. So how is that person going to be married, huh? ::smiles:: You’ll be jacked up from day 1!
So I don’t know what you’re going to do about this. How you resolve it will be very personal, but I can tell you it can be done because I am just like you and I’ve done it. There is a way to be both partnered and free. So you’re on the right track with your consciousness of this. And hopefully the clarity will help to kick you to the next level.
Bottom line, you need to make your own rules when it comes to relationships. Anything traditional will fail. And this may sound bad to you today, but it is what it is and understanding yourself is the key.