How Do You Feel About Being Popular? Good? Bad? Indifferent?

Kingsley wrote on the Salina, Kansas blog:

“Its good to be popular that’s for sure”

Kingsley, that is interesting because just last week I was discussing this with a friend. She said most people desired to be popular and/or famous and did not understand people who did not. I am someone who does not and the soldier is someone for whom that goes double.

I am from the desert (and spent nearly 10 years as an adult) in the middle of nowhere. He is from the woods and later the jungle and we are just used to privacy and while some people may enjoy being recognized we are not that type.

I realize I put my picture on this blog but I do not put his. He does not want to be seen, talked to or any other thing. I feel similar.

See people may read my blog and feel they know me or they know him and maybe you do know us but we don’t know you. So if I have just driven 500 miles to see him and we have 10 hours to be together and won’t see each other for another 2 weeks, maybe you can see how our time together is precious and we would rather not be interrupted.

And you (not you personally, Kingsley but whoever) can call us anti-social if you like. You can also call us late to dinner, a bitch and a beast, two really nice people or whatever else you might come up with but I am sure others can relate. Some people just aren’t cut out for command performance. They are not that light on their feet, never said they were, have no interest in becoming… and so forth.

We will eventually solve this by moving (back) to the desert where we met and sitting on the porch like the two eccentric geezers in Secondhand Lions who shoot at salesmen who ignore the 20 signs posted on the drive up to their house that say “Go Back.” He will ride his burro around town and we will just in general act so crazy people will keep their distance and as long as these were the conditions I would continue to do exactly what I do.

On the other hand if I were to ever be even remotely overrun when I left the house I would quit this in an instant. There is just no way it would be worth it to me, similar to my friend Ben who refused to play Carnegie Hall. There is no way in hell they are going to throw all those lights on him and I can relate.

Do you understand this or do you feel it is ungrateful in some way? Are most your planets above or below the horizon? Do you have a lot of planets in the eighth or the twelfth houses?

ps – that’s a great movie if you haven’t seen it. It’s entertaining anyway. Not great like “masterpiece” but great like “I am being entertained”. The soldier (as always) thinks he is the Robert Duvall character. I am the lead women in it, or so he says.

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Comments

How Do You Feel About Being Popular? Good? Bad? Indifferent? — 37 Comments

  1. ewinbee – I feel like you and the soldier surprised me thinking I should be more comfortable. Well hell! I want to continue to go places in my pajamas on occasion. I don’t comb my hair to go to the gym and I don’t want to start. I sure as hell don’t want to be waylaid in the parking lot having a chat when I haven’t changed the light bulb in front of for going on 3 years. It’s like this:

    I give all I can which means it is all I can give.

  2. I understand this. I have 4 planets above the horizon and 6 below. While I want recognition (Capricorn) I don’t want to be scrutinized, and that’s what I imagine that’s like. I’m trying to figure out my relationship with my “audience” meaning other humans witnessing what I do with my life. (Saturn in Leo–I’m just out of my Saturn Return, which means I’m still in it emotionally).

    Saturn 8th trined Neptune 12th.

  3. I have very strong feelings about this, and I’m not really sure why… I mean, heck if I have any problems with overpopularity or fame or anything like that. 🙂 But have a LOT of sympathy for people who get famous and then try to preserve some semblance of a private life. And people will be downright nasty talking about celebrities acting all “snotty” and “spoiled”, as though being stalked on the streets is something anybody really wants.

    I hate it when people get pissy at movie stars for not being happy. “They have everything!” Oh yeah? How about personal space? People like Britney Spears lead a dog’s life, and not a very well-treated dog either. All the material benefits in the world can’t make it a good life.

    Solitude can be peaceful. Popularity beyond a certain level is almost always isolating, unless you are a VERY particular sort of person.

  4. Most of my planets are above the horizon.
    I attribute my Sun in Leo in the 10th house for wanting to be as popular/famous and “Leoish” as Madonna for most half of my life. Do you call that a cliche’ 80’s child, or what??!!
    I’m comfortable with being liked by a lot of people, as long as I am attracting good people (honest, down-to-earth, deep types).

  5. I don’t want to be popular. I wouldn’t mind being famous, but only if it allowed me to really make a positive difference in the world. I like to be loved though, and to be valued by those I care about. I like to be popular among certain crowds 😉

    I was popular in highschool one year. I was in a band and so kids followed me around and copied everything I did. Most of them were people who were mean to me before and I felt like they didn’t really like me at all, or even know me. I was so happy when the next year I wasn’t popular anymore. I was almost passe even, but it was better than being popular. I ate lunch by myself.

  6. for me popular equals safe, so I want to be reasonably popular. I do not, however, want to do anything to maintain it, so I’m only ever middlin’ popular.

    I’d be the confusing one in my movie, letting some people on the porch, shooting at others, no apparent rhyme or reason.

    leo rising, inconjunct sun and moon.

  7. 3 planets above the horizon, no 8th or 12 house resident planets. 10th house moon, sq. saturn.

    i don’t feel the need to be popular. saturn sq. moon leaves me often feeling “different,” not always emotionally understood by others.

    oddly enough, i tend to be best accepted by the most people when i do NOT worry at all what other people think. i was a lot less popular when i cared about it-like back in high school!

    if i don’t let my saturn get me down, i tend to act out my eccentricities, courtesy leo rising. i also have a first house uranus, so i think i can carry it without issue, despite my age. 🙂

    and yes, i understand the desire to hide. everybody gives in their own way, and it’s up to each person to decide how and on what terms they want to.

  8. I can understand what you are saying Elsa. I have a Pisces mc.

    Perhaps the internet is a safe place one can receive the recognitions for “being” and “doing” and achieve a measure of popularity at the same time. I would have thought your blog is quite popular Elsa however that may not be the reason as you say, for all the work producing such a thing. It is a side benefit perhaps?

    kingsley

  9. Yeah, Venus 12th grand trine with Saturn 4th, Neptune 8th. Leave me alone. No soliciting. GO AWAY.

    Have tenth house Aqua sun/ mercury/mars though, so I do have a need for acknowledgment.

    I’m with Kashmiri that with recognition comes scrutiny and that is also what I don’t want.

  10. Do you understand this or do you feel it is ungrateful in some way? Are most your planets above or below the horizon? Do you have a lot of planets in the eighth or the twelfth houses?

    Half diurnal and half nocturnal. Chart ruler in the 12th tho. Anyways, popularity is over-rated; it comes and it goes. I like knowing people; I don’t like people bugging me when I’m trying to do things.

    max
    [‘Yeah, yeah… I have Libra.’]

  11. Elsa, I don’t think you are ungrateful. You and the soldier deserve to eat in peace. Being famous seems like a curse to me. Being popular, not a curse, probably a pain in the ass at times. I’m neither, and like it that way.
    I have 8 planets above the horizon, 2 below. Pluto in 12th house.

  12. my eighth house is just as happy i stay out of the spotlight. i treasure what degree of anonymity i have.

    but i do like to be taken seriously and sometimes that takes significantly more spotlight than i’m comfortable with.

    hm. and leo saturn on the cusp of te 12th (but in the 11th) may have something to do with it too 😉

  13. I have 8 planets below the horizon, two above in the 12th house. I have to agree totally with Elsa.
    I stopped swinging in trees when people stopped being apes.
    I have libra,so I think friendship is different than popularity. Some of my fondest memories are of times with people who were my friends who were far from popular. What I have come to learn about this stuff called popularity, it even exists among the geekiest crowds. And it comes and goes among all circles of people. I think the phrase “this is not a popularity contest” is a good one for those who get caught up in this.

  14. I wonder if there is a rule of thumb with blogging? That wanting to be popular or not, might be a measure of how many times per day one checks their blog stats?

    Its just a theory and I am teasing a little.

    kingsley

  15. Kingsley writes:

    “I wonder if there is a rule of thumb with blogging? That wanting to be popular or not, might be a measure of how many times per day one checks their blog stats?”

    Kingsley – You don’t give me much credit for being complex.

    There are all kinds of reasons I would be checking the stats that have no reason whatsoever to do with popularity.

    There are also all kinds of reasons I would *publicize the fact I am checking the stats and additional reasons to let people know I am checking the stats with the soldier…

  16. Don’t care about it and don’t want it. I’ve never fit in with any “popular” crowds or people. I was always drawn to the off-kilter.

    There’s someone in my DH’s family who thrives on this stuff. She’s loud and in-your-face, and loves throwing noisy, drunken parties. (The woman’s in her 40s.) I don’t know her birth time, so I don’t know her house placements, etc…we’re both Leos, but we don’t get along AT.ALL. I’m just not into loud, social people. It’s not bad, just different, and doesn’t jibe with my energy.

    I don’t have any planets in water houses, but everything is below the horizon. There’s nothing I cherish more than my privacy.

  17. Let me revise that: Jupiter is right on the DSC, and Neptune is close to the 8th house cusp. That’s all I have above the horizon. All my personal planets are in the 5th and 6th houses. Virgo (I have 3 planets in Virgo) and the 6th house definitely doesn’t seek out the limelight.

  18. Sounds like some good benefits too me Elsa. I don’t think I am saying anything that implies things about you in particular Elsa. I might be wrong but do you think I am misunderstanding you?

    respectfully
    kingsley

  19. Kingsley – I have no idea if you are misunderstanding me or not. I also have no idea if I am misunderstanding you or not and I just have to live this way so I do.

  20. I’m kinda with Oscar Wilde, “The only thing worse than being talked about, is not being talked about”.

    While I defintely have a private side, venus and neptune in the 12th, I also have a big ninth house, pluto cnj my mc, and Uranus in the 11th (sextile Mars in the 1st). My chart is defintiely top heavy and getting out and being seen is something I need. I couldn’t survive outside the city.

  21. i think about this a lot lately and in general. i’m the type that craves the recognition, but i would want it on my own terms. i couldn’t be a “face”, like a movie star or something, to the point that people are over-analyzing everything i do or trying to chase me down. i worry too much how i look and behave to deal with that kind of constant pressure. i’d rather not be recognizable outside of context. but i need to be known, recognized, respected.

    four planets above, six below. granted, four of the six are in my 1st house…

  22. Everything but Venus above the horizon but most of my personal planets are in the 12th. 11th house Moon/Neptune is very happy with my peer group in cyberspace.

    With Saturn/Pluto in Leo in the 9th it’s taken two Saturn returns to get my head around the idea of being publicly visible . . . now I have a website. Still pretty much indifferent about fame and all that and essentially a VERY private person. [too much in the 12th and Scorpio . . .]

  23. Its probably the scorpio but I dont like the limelight.. never did. Yet I was heavily involved in drama at school (it was a lot of fun, but i didnt so much care to preform) and of course being a musician most of my life meant exposing myself (which again, I love to play but dont care to preform really)I like it under the radar thanks, and people call me antisocial all of the time :/

  24. Part of me really wants popularity/fame and the other half is used to hiding in a corner and hoping nobody picks on me. Planets are pretty even between the top and bottom of the chart.

  25. I wouldn’t mind popularity, but it would have to be all on my own terms. so long as i could pull out of the spotlight, I think it’d be okay. I feel similar to Jennifer, and if I can’t find quality people to share the fame, I don’t want it. Much happier sitting by myself with an attentive audience. Haha I wish I could sit here and discuss how this is astrologically manifested, but I don’t know how :p

  26. I’m well known and recognized within my community (sun conjunct MC with North Node nearby) but I would not say I’m popular (I’m aloof, say some). I hate it when my name or photo appears on somebody’s blog or article although when it’s my own byline, with my own photo, I’m okay. My Pluto and Mars in Virgo in 12th house demands some privacy so I often find myself resenting people’s expectations of me. And I also hate the constant asking of favours–this assumption that I would be willing to help total strangers just because I’m at a certain level in my career is mind-boggling. Am looking forward to quitting my position at work this year and finding some solitude (Saturn in Virgo transiting 12th house, squaring moon and venus). First thing I’m going to do when I quit: retire my email address and change my telephone number.
    Do I sound like a bitch?
    Anna the Gemini

  27. I want to be famous but not popular. I’ve always been pretty reclusive and I get socially overstimulated easily, but I enjoy recognition. I have a heavy 7th house, my chart is about half diurnal/nocturnal (considering my chart ruler is at the very end of my 6th house). My most elevated planets are a Mars-Saturn conjunction in the 9th, suggesting I probably need to “prove” myself in the realm of publishing.

  28. No you don’t sound like a bitch! I mentioned already that I would like recognition for a job well done–it bothers me that success=scrutiny and the idea that a person of note essentially becomes public property.
    I’ve started working on my book again and I can’t help but worry about these things. I worry that the cover will have a pink, fluffy chick-lit cover (the kind with the swirly fonts).
    Stupid thing to worry about seeing I don’t have a publisher, but my wariness about fame and popularity and group dynamics in general really freak me out. I want to be a part of things but every now and then I have a total freak out and I need to be alone, totally and complete alone. Preferrably without anyone noticing me or looking at me.

  29. Elsa, I’m not sure what you’re saying I said. I said. You said. 🙂 At any rate, I was basically saying that I don’t feel there’s much benefit to being popular.

  30. I don’t seek to be popular, but I would like to avoid being universally loathed.

    Seriously, as a privacy junkie (I don’t even like to commingle my personal with my professional life at all), I cannot fathom what it would be like to be even a little bit famous. I would pull a Salinger and go into seclusion.

    Planets evenly balanced twixt the top and bottom halves. Moon and Mars in the 8th and an empty 10th.

  31. I’m a Scorp rising with Cancer Sun with the all the personal planets in 7th,9th and 10th. I want to recognised for my work but I keep my personal life v.v private. Not even my closest friends know what goes on in my pesonal life. I talk about my career all the time (Gemini Moon), as I have to let everyone know about my life career plan but that it.
    I sometimes feel like I have a bipolar personality!

  32. Umm. Three planets above the horizon, one personal in 11th, 2 outer in the 12th. Hermit by nature. If it wasn’t for Mars in the 11th I don’t think I’d ever poke my head out. And every time I do someone shoots at me. But I have Libra so I smile them to death.

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