High Maintenance People

Vintage cardSaturn went into Libra, about five years ago. I wrote about high maintenance people at that time.  People used to boast about being “high maintenance”. I figured this transit would end that for sure and it did.

Saturn is concerned with boundaries and taking responsibility. It’s transit through Libra pressured all of us to learn to be fair in our dealings with others. We should have also have learned to try not to burden others.

Here are a couple of those posts:

Demanding People (Hard Aspects From Pluto)


Low Maintenance Friend

I have taxed people heavily, in the past. With a packed 8th house, I still have the the potential to overwhelm a friend or a partner.  I have to watch myself. I get so sick of “watching myself” at times, I withdraw. If I have to constantly monitor my energy level…well, I’d rather mow or pull weeds or lie quietly and contemplate things.

Today, I was talking to a friend who mentioned people who are high maintenance, but they don’t know it. I wonder if they do know it.

This would be my guess, if you set aside mental illness. People do know they are taxing you; testing you.

It reminds me of a million years ago when I snorted cocaine. I knew I was out of control but pretended I didn’t.

Are you high maintenance? What do you know about this phenomena?

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High Maintenance People — 23 Comments

  1. I’m Saturn in Leo Generation, so, I’d say, superhigh-maintainance. I’m not boasting about it. That said, I think some people my age, with a Saturn in Leo – Pluto in Libra – Neptune in Sadgitirius signature entering their 40’s are currently just waiting for taking it over and make it better for all of us.

  2. I think I was/am? a high-maintenance child. See, part of it is the perfection I expected from myself, and the fear that if something happened that I couldn’t control, everything would fall apart. (Shitload of Scorpio in 6th)

    Sometimes that perfection demanded that I “keep it together” for the public, and for teachers. So I seemed low-maintenance and “sweet” for people who weren’t close to me, but high-maintenance for my mom, when I was doing homework, and anyone who eventually got close to me. It’s ’cause of the drama that might ensue, because of the stress. I would try to keep it together but the dam would burst, flooding whoever around me, becoming demands for the people around me.

    For stress around work or potential criticism, I can get high-maintenance because I’m so sensitive. For all other things, I am not. I don’t need expensive anything. I don’t need to go to the best restaurants. I can also be happy staying at home.

    I still worry that I am a high-maintenance person….. It’s a hard path to walk away from because you feel unprotected…. I think it would be better if I thought it as a set of actions: making high-maintenance demands… It’s so I don’t attack myself for making mistakes, but instead, just fix whatever I can for the near future.

    However, I was diagnosed with anxiety in the past haha, and… I’m working on it!! So, not sure if I count anyway 😉

  3. I think when you’re constantly making high-maintenance demands, it’s ’cause you get overcome and high-jacked by what you you desire. Then, it becomes a burden for everyone else, if you don’t find some way to give *yourself what you need, instead of constantly demanding the best from others.

    It’s like angry customers. They’re angry in the moment and frustrated with life and unfortunately they take it out on you. Others know what they’re doing because they were taught by someone never to be the “sucker”, and to be “scrappy” and a “survivor” meant to take advantage of others or demand everything in their life. These folks know.

    Unfortunately, those near them can’t trust them with a soft part of themselves because who knows when they’ll demand something unfairly from them too, just like they may treat a server/waitress/waiter.

  4. Yes, I’m high maintenance BUT I’m waaay too proud to put that onus on somebody else. (Leo rising conjunct Jupiter) It gets expressed in the way of daily routines and work up

  5. Yes, I’m high maintenance BUT I’m waaay too proud to put that onus on somebody else. (Leo rising conjunct Jupiter) It (the maintenance) gets expressed in the way of daily routines and work and perfectionista standards. That is owned by me. Nor would I ever want to be in charge of others because my standards and expectations are extremely high– unrealistically and unfairly so. But I’m bound to them 🙄(Saturn in Virgo)

    But being an energy drain? Oh man. I sincerely truly hope not. Dealing with those types are an ongoing nightmare.

  6. I work for a high maintenance person. I’ve managed to deal with it pretty well, and it’s not my first time doing that, I was just thinking about that today. But now I’m also supervising someone who is high maintenance in a different way…needing an overwhelming amount of personal attention which has been difficult for me when I’m slammed with work. That’s been pretty draining and I could do without it. Thankfully, he’s temporary.

    I don’t think I’m high maintenance…I go out of my way to not bother people.

  7. I am high maintenance and intense.

    I try not to be, but with my Libra (10th house) planets and sag stellium, I can’t help it.

    I think people think it’s cool to be high maintenance, its not. They believe if I am high maintenance, people will respect them more. That’s not true. We don’t want to be high maintenance, we actually want to be nurtured. We just can’t tell the difference.

    It has taken me years to figure that out.

  8. I have been very bad at giving myself what my moon craves and need.

    I have a Libra 8H moon, BUT my 6th house is Cancer and thus ruled by the moon as well.
    So I know now, in order to really feed my moon I got to have a job (6H) which is in a team (Libra), I need sex and intimacy (8H) and that means I may need to be in a relationship more often than others. But it does not mean I would take anybody. I need to be treated fair (Libra), and the last two times I moved in with someone things went south really fast. That taught me an important leason: Libra is also about making myself happy, even if I have the need to be in a relationship. It’s balanced by Aries’ need for self love.

    But these things are what makes my moon thrive and that way I nurture myself. When I do things that put this balance in jeopardy, I loose myself and my inner balance. I loose my ability to self love (Aries). And that can REALLY put a relationship in danger!

    • I guess what I was trying to say here is that in the past I’ve made people responsible for fulfilling my moon’s needs.

      But figuring out what nurtures me – I was able to take some form of responsibility for my life and happiness i stead of dumping that onto others.

      But yeah, I can be a handful. Pluto in 8H, 4 planets in Scorpio…..

      • Totally agree. Nurturing myself has tamed that crazy hunger inside, so I don’t look for it outside of myself so much.

  9. I’m so low maintenance it’s sickening. 🙂 So is my spouse. We eliminate all high maintainence people from out lives to keep things simple.

  10. My daughter the Saggie is high maintenance. Sun/Mercury/Pluto conjunct!

    As I said in previous posts about her, she’s a handful and then some, but she really is worth getting to know. She’s a gifted artist and writer.

    I won’t deny that she sets my teeth on edge at times with the high maintenance routine (I’m low to no maintenance, as is Big Cap), but in the end, I love her and only want the best for her. We work through it.

  11. I used to be high maintenance. Then swung to no maintenance. But I really think deep down, they come from the same insecurity. I know I can be intense and overwhelming, no matter how hard I try to contain myself. As I increase my own love for myself, the less needy I become but When I’m off center, I know my emotions can suck all the air out of a room.

  12. OMG – YES! I was just thinking about this today and then read this post.

    THIS: I have taxed people heavily, in the past. With a packed 8th house, I still have the the potential to overwhelm a friend or a partner. I have to watch myself. I get so sick of “watching myself” at times, I withdraw. If I have to constantly monitor my energy level…well, I’d rather mow or pull weeds or lie quietly and contemplate things.

    I get so sick of watching myself too! I have learned other ways to channel the energy – not that I do that all the time. But I break it up a little now – whereas I just used to be 100% intense 100% of the time.

  13. I think high maintenance is in. We have a president who is high maintenance and he is very popular. But that’s the American dream for ya. The current definition anyway, as opposed to people being able to live the life they want. I take that slant because people who say they are high maintenance, in my experience, usually mean they need the dollars and stuff. They usually don’t bother with me. And that’s fine with me.

    But yeah, what is high maintenance to me are the energy drainers. The demanders. Everything has to be the way they want it. I can’t really partner with those people. I like working together. Or being together. Not serving the queenly or kingly. And then there are the expectations that need to be met. The men in my age group in my locale expect a woman to do the cookin, the cleanin, the paycheck makin and to look pretty doin it. So high maintenance.

    If I am going to partner with a person or people, they need to bring something to the table.

  14. I hadn’t thought about it but my wife up and got a job, all of her own volition and has said more than once that she wants to contribute. It wasn’t that way for about 15 years so I appreciate not having to give her money all the time. I still buy her trips every year. High maintenance?

  15. GTO, if I had a husband who supported me and I didn’t have to withstand the stress of working outside the house, I would devote my time to supporting him any way I could– working from home, keeping it beautiful, etc to show my appreciation. It sounds like she is showing how much she loves you.

  16. Mars in Pisces me would respond to a partner willing to protect me from the pressures of outside life by doing anything in my power to take unecessary pressure off him. Out of relief and sheer joy at being set free.

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