I’m just back from vacation with four men whose ages span close to 40 years. One thing that was made clear is this: Men are not women.
I frequently work with women who are dissatisfied with their relationships with men. The phrase “emotional availability” is often used to show the lack of the man they’re involved with and I think this deserves a challenge.
I am pretty sure if you wait around for a man to become a woman, to act like a woman, to feel like a woman, to respond like a woman, you are going to be sorely disappointed. Not only that, while you’re focused on what the man is not or is not doing, you will miss everything he is and is doing.
This is a tiny capsule but check it out. My son’s friend, 13 year old, Quirky Aquarian, mentioned that he liked this girl at school. “Do you think, Jocelyn is pretty?” he asked. My son mumbled something affirmative.
This was because men don’t go on and on about their friend’s girlfriend attractiveness nor do they say she is a dog, but here’s the point: That was the whole exchange.
My husband explained to me that men simply don’t go on and on about women. “They say they like someone and that’s all they say. Everyone knows what that means, we say it once and we go on to something else…”
Compare that to women who get on the phone to discuss their partner’s every breath and nuance. Can you not see these are two different species?
You may be mad a me for writing this but I ask you, what constitutes emotional availability when it comes to a man? Are you sure you’re being short-changed or somehow cheated in your relationship?
I find men try very hard to please women they care about but many women look for something intangible that may not even exist on the earth. As a result, they fail to register all the effort a man makes and consequently they feel unloved when they may in fact be loved to the bone.
What do you think when you hear the phrase “emotionally unavailable”?