I am 32 years old, single, and I haven’t had a relationship with a woman in about 4 years. I have lots of friends, my family is alive and well (thank G-d) but I just can’t seem to meet a woman. I am very shy with the opposite sex and people in general until I know them well.
Can you advise me on how to become less depressed, more outgoing, and more happy with what I have?
Ouch! Could you possibly be any meaner to yourself? The first thing you can do is ease up! With Saturn conjunct your Sun and Mercury in Cancer, I admit you’ve got a real challenge… but you have absolutely have to find a way to be nicer to yourself.
For example, quit telling yourself (and others) that you can’t meet a woman, that you are not outgoing, that you are depressed and that you lack gratitude for what you have! Yipes! Surely these friends of yours would give you a better review – and you’d be well advised to adopt their perception of you and go out and act “as if”.
Act as if you don’t suck! Because if you feel as if you do, it’s no wonder you do not meet a woman. Who is going to sign on with this kind of negativity? You are creating reality here. Seriously!
And I am not trying to be mean. I just don’t think you’re going to solve this problem without solving this problem, so you have to know what the problem is! And you can solve this by the way. You absolutely can. Because you have Pluto square your Sun and consequently you have the ability to transform yourself (and your thinking / Mercury) completely. But this will never happen without embracing Saturn, and here’s what that means:
You have to take responsibility for these things that are dogging your life and work to turn them around. This may sound stupid, but it’s like having a fear of public speaking. You either have to live with that, or do something about it. Like go to Toastmasters! You have to push the cart up the hill, or what? Or you’ll wind up lying beneath it.
Now if you need medication for your depression, then get it. But this sounds as if it could be nothing more than a case of inertia to me. And negative thinking that has manifested itself in reality. And if you can manifest this reality, you can manifest another.
And because I think it’s your negativity that is causing the bulk of the problems, I would go after that first. And the best way I can think to do this is to learn (study) a new way of thinking…
Something Zen. Watch the movie, “What The Bleep Do We Know?” Check out Joseph Campbell. Whatever! Find something that can help you learn a new (more positive) way of structuring (Saturn) your life and the way you think about things. Because if you do this, I promise you results!
Hopefully others will leave other recommendations for Cancer Man in the comments…