Good Day Elsa,
Some years ago, as a teenager and young adult, I belonged to a Christian church and a woman’s group. Due to the influence of these groups, I became someone unrecognizable. I went from being a shy moody girl to being an over zealous, self-righteous, bible quoting, hand waving, and hallelujah shouting fanatic. I quickly absorbed and embraced messages about salvation, holiness, and the need to spread the gospel to save the souls of others.
Many of the older people and my spiritual mentors encouraged me to “seek first the kingdom of God.” I did so with everything I had believing God would reward my dedication. People believed that I would eventually become a missionary, a religious educator, or a minister. I believed it also to the point that after college, I went for an advanced degree in religious studies.
When I graduated, however, I found myself in a spiritual crisis. At 32, I realized that my outer presentation was in conflict with my inner reality and I could not reconcile the two. My thoughts about God, religion and authentic spirituality had changed. I began to see that life was not black and white and had many shades of gray. So, instead of being dishonest with myself and others and pursuing ministry of any form, I walked away.
After 5 years of working with a therapist, I finally feel sane and free. I feel like someone who has emerged from a deep coma and is seeing the world anew. It’s like a veil has been lifted, ya know? Currently, I’m trying to salvage something from those lost years and build a quiet life for myself.
My question is: how do I deal with people from my past when I encounter them? Since I still live in the same area as most of these people and because some of these people are family members and because of social gatherings (funerals, graduations and weddings), I occasionally encounter them. When they realize I am not the person I once was, things get sticky. Their facial expressions and line of questions often betray a sense that they are concerned for my soul and my apparent estrangement from God. They insist on telling me that they are praying for me or that I need to come back to church and “get right with God”. The feeling that I get is that I was once a shining star, now I am a lost prodigal who needs to come home. I was once someone with so much promise and a future, now I am reprobate who wasted my gifts, potential, and “calling.” Someone to be pitied rather than respected for trusting the goodness of the Eternal to guide me on my life’s journey no matter how much it differs from their definition of the “True Path”.
How should I handle these encounters?
Once Was Blind
It’s very funny. I knew what I was going to have to say to you before I looked at your chart and when it popped up on the screen, with Saturn (oppression) in the 9th house (religion) opposing your Sun (your creative self), your Mercury (your thoughts) and the rest of your stellium in Virgo, well it doesn’t get plainer than this. Or cuter. And neater petite-r for a Virgo like you.
See these advice questions have to apply to more than one person to make it on to this blog. And I was going to tell you that to evolve in the course of your lifetime… be it around religion or anything else, when you are challenged there is really only one thing to do. Stand firm. You must have integrity and I am a good example.
I started identifying myself as an astrologer (as a career) at my Saturn return. Needless to say, I was mocked without mercy. People who knew me before I identified myself this way shook their heads and the new people I met… well most of them took a step back, not forward.
However, I am an astrologer. I will die an astrologer so when my future inl aws told a man who loved me that they would disown him if he married that “astrologer crystal ball person”, I remained an astrologer and I think you can see I understand your circumstance.
And I think everyone needs to stand for what they believe but in your case this could not possibly be any clearer, with a 9th house Saturn. Your beliefs (9th house) must have integrity (Saturn). And here’s the deal with an opposition like yours… which utterly dominates your chart by the way.
When you have an opposition like this in your chart you wind up living one side and projecting the other. So for awhile there, you were the Saturn in the 9th figure. You were the religious (9th house) authority (Saturn). But now you’re on the other end, being a critical thinking Virgo!! And what you have to do is own both sides.
Now I want to tell you, you are a preacher whether you like it or not. And if you go up there and read your post, you can see this is in your writing. There is a cadence of someone preaching. So really, you have not escaped your destiny, have you? You are still going to teach about religion or belief systems, it’s just that you beliefs have morphed!
So when these people come down on you… don’t let that stand. Don’t be the little Virgo maiden crushed by authority (the projected 9th house Saturn). Instead, get on you own box there and preach right back!! Because you have authority when it comes to religion / belief systems. But as long as you try to divorce yourself from this and ignore what is essentially your job on this planet… well you are going to continue to meet the oppressor outside yourself, and why is that?
It’s to force you to define (Saturn) your beliefs (9th house)… to one and all. And I can tell you from personal experience that when you do this eventually the opposition fades and support forms. There isn’t a person in the world who would dare try to tell me I shouldn’t be an astrologer now. What would it get them? A quizzical look?