Fights That Get You Nowhere

The other day a friend was poised to fight with her husband. Right or wrong, I did not see any possible way she could win the fight so I told her she may as well not have it. Fighting takes a lot out of you, especially in your 40’s. It just doesn’t make sense to fight a battle, get all banged up, destroy the day it not a string of them, just because.

This doesn’t necessarily mean you have to eat the problem.  If you can’t win, it may be because you need more evidence. You need to bolster up your side the argument and fight another day, but you see what I am saying.  There are precious few (good) reasons so start a fight you know you can’t win.  People do this anyway, all the time. I’m putting this out here for people who may want to grow up their game or think in terms of tactics.

Energy is precious, why waste it.  Peace ain’t bad either…are you sure you want to start a war?

How often do you start a fight, that common sense knows you can’t win?

pictured – Venus, Cupidand-Mars, Luca Giordano

Related Post


Fights That Get You Nowhere — 16 Comments

  1. Cancer Sun square Moon/Pluto Libra. I have to check myself sometimes…cahnces are im fighting my self, my innner battles, and what is happening on the outside is not the true battle, just the repercussions of not having balance between the energies.

  2. Merc/mars/asc all conj and sextile pluto, it is very, very rare that I start a war that I can’t win. Though I have had to learn to not let myself be roped into wars that I can’t win, or that have too high a casualty rate(in order to win).

  3. i only fight when i feel there’s something i need to defend… i guess that’s an issue of perception…
    i try to bring up ideas, instead. i don’t like getting confrontational. my temper’s too explosive and i’m not good at maintaining equilibrium once i hit it….
    on the flip side, some people will think i’m “arguing” when i’m really passionate about explaining something. they misread the attachment to the idea as some sort of inherent anger on my part. or something. i don’t really understand that.

  4. I don’t often fight, whether or not I think I can win. But I can disappear at the drop of a hat. Mars conj Neptune.

  5. Mars in capricorn here, I try to plan my fights. But then I’ve got a sextile to jupiter (which is dominating my chart with pluto) too, if someone does something that I believe is unfair, I will feel forced to fight for them.

  6. I lived a long time imagining and creating a Reality inside my head that was in total conflict with the Universe…,which was inevitably futile but I wasted a lot of energy on it.


  7. Mercury, moon and venus in Gemini square Pluto and Mars conjunct in Virgo. My wars tend to be a war of words and I’m realizing that too often I’m arguing about semantics and logic and what I think/believe to be the right way of doing things. I win these wars and power struggles (with my teenage stepkids) but at ridiculous expense to peace in the family. I’ve got to learn to let these not-so-important things slide because you’re right: fighting in your forties is physically exhausting. I’m so drained these days. Saturn in Libra, get the hell out of my first house!

  8. I mentioned the other day that Mars in Cancer is not impulsive. Venus is conjunct, here, so I don’t want to fight at all if I can keep from it.

    It’s rare that I start a fight – the thing I always ask myself before standing up an argument is

    Is this the hill I wanna die on today?

    Usually the answer is no. Mutable sun/moon are happy to move on to something else. *grin*

  9. Lately, I have seen people be just obstinate, like they have to be the authority and know everything and make a big point of being the expert. Is this that Mars Square Uranus energy or what? It is almost like UNCONSCIOUS picking a fight stuff…comments?

  10. My soon-to-be-ex-husband needs to fight. Aries Sun and Moon, Leo Mars conj Leo Ascendant. He will burst if he doesn’t find a thing to fight. If there is no hostile reaction from the opponent, he will provoke it. If his opponent is nevertheless calm as the deepest ocean, he will intentionally disgrace himself and than be angry about that.
    I feel for him, I don’t know, how to help him. His Aries needs to be a soldier, but his Leo prevented him from enrolling in the army, because he wouldn’t be able to take orders from anyone.
    He could never really hurt me, you know, because I understood.

  11. Cancer Mars Rx conjunct Saturn – I avoid confrontations if I possibly can. I will fight if attacked however!

    My mother had an Aries Moon – she was only happy when fighting. She’d try to pick fights all day… it was SO wearing.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *