The soldier again with his memory… and my profound idiocy. We’re back in the bathtub of course:
“And you don’t remember going to Colossal Cave.”
“No. Now I don’t remember that at all. I mean you’ve told me but I barely, barely remember.”
“Well we went. We were there, P. Me and you, you were wearing your uniform. You know. That mustard-colored waitress uniform of yours? You had that on.”
“What!” I was flabbergasted. “I went to Colossal Cave in a waitress uniform? Oh my God, what was wrong with me?”
“Nothing! Nothing is wrong with you, P but yeah you were wearing your uniform and everyone kept saying, hi to you. Hi, Elsa, Hi Elsa. Hiiiii,Elsa.”
I looked at him queerly. “What? Why?”
“Because you were wearing your uniform! And it had a tag right here,” he said, touching his chest. “The tag said hi, I’m Elsa.” He beamed. “Yep, that’s what your tag on your uniform said so everyone kept saying, hi Elsa, hi Elsa and you didn’t know what was going on. You couldn’t figure out how everybody knew you,” he said, grinning.
I put my head in my hand as the memory came back. “Oh for crying out tears, what am I doing going to a tourist attraction in a waitress uniform? Did I have no consciousness at all of how to act? Apparently not. Just drop her in town from the desert and look what she does, the freak.”
“Ah, P, there was nothing wrong with it. We went out there after work is all. I picked you up from work on the bike. We were trying to hurry and get out there before they closed. We didn’t know there was anything wrong with it. Is there something wrong with it? There was no PC back then. If there was PC, we didn’t know about it. I don’t think either one of us had any idea how we were supposed to act. We never worried about it. We never worried anything, me and you.”
“No, I guess not,” I said, still trying to imagine myself in the middle of the cave tour group wearing my mustard colored waitress uniform with the buttons popping off because I was getting so fat unbeknownst to me.
“Yeah, we never worried about anything ever. I guess we should have worried more huh, P?”
“I have no idea.”
“Yeah, but anyway they told us no one ever found the gold in that cave so then I got all interested. I wanted to go out there when they were closed and get that gold. Me and you, P. Let’s go get the gold while nobody’s lookin’. Just about had you talked into that too.”
I can’t tell you how disorienting it is to hear all this stuff. It’s happy but bizarre. You know those kaleidoscopes you look into? That how it is in my head when he talks.
How well do you remember things? Where is Neptune in your chart?