Neptune is challenge to work with. Once you delude yourself (and others), it’s really hard to work way out. I have a story to illustrate what I mean.
With Saturn and Pluto in my 12th house, I’ve really withdrawn from the public to a large extent. I became uncomfortable as part of the fabric of society. I wanted to live on the fringe. Like anyone else, when I withdrew, I left a void.
A void will always be filled with something. In this case, it was filled with rumors and gossips that blossomed in full-blown fairy stories. Meanwhile, I did a pretty good job of appearing dead and gone.
When people who deceive themselves or others do not believe they’ll ever be checked, they can really run away with a story. When you start to believe your own lies, look out! In whatever case, I appeared to be in the grave, permanently. You should have seen the look on the faces when I got back up on my horse and rode into town!
There was a flurry of fluff and cover-up. You know how you’re talking about someone. You don’t think you’re ever going to see them again and then there they are, standing right in front of you. At that point, you’ve got yourself a mess! That’s what Virgo would say, anyway. So there was some waving of arms and what not. It wasn’t spoken, but it was clear. The hope was that I would not be staying long. Not long enough to see what been done to me, that’s for sure. Sorry, but I find this, comical.
Fast forward a couple months and I’m still upright. And this week I was privileged when someone tried to make me believe a lie about me! Now, that’s a pretty hard to do.
See, I’m supposed to be a liar, who must now hang her head in shame for her lies have been revealed. But I am not a liar and have no reason to hang my head in shame! But if I’m not a liar, then what’s happened here? The person who has claimed to be my victim discovers that they are the victimizer. It a classic Neptune tale.
I don’t know that Neptune operates in “stages” but if so, this person(s) is in the stage of “avoidance”.
Is there enough fog in the world to conceal and distort the lines a person crosses, back when they thought they could get away with it?
I don’t really know. But Saturn is in Capricorn and this is not the best time to be skirtin’ ’round the law, which includes, laws that could be characterized as “ethereal”.
To continue with my story, I had one gal, blurt out that I had received a “miracle”. Thank God for my poker face; I might have laughed.
“What do you mean, miracle?” I asked.
I know the situation in my life right now. Is despair a miracle? I wanted to know what she was talking about. I wanted to know which is not the same as guess. Our conversation was interrupted before she could respond. Poof!
I guess I could have let it go but a few days later, I realized it was eating me. “Undoing me” is more like it. I was pretty sure I understood the gist of what she was saying but wasn’t sure and I didn’t want to delude myself. So I contacted her… email.
“Say! What did you mean when you said I received a miracle?”
She responded with some curlicues which was fine with me. I know all about fog machines.
I thanked her for her response and that was that for now and probably for always. But I thought about this person and so many like her. I have been like her! The longer you delude yourself, the harder it is to stop and worse it is when the veil drops. It’s like an addiction.
If you remain addicted to anything, long enough, you merge with it to a point where it becomes nearly impossible to get clear.
If you wonder if any of this applies to you, there an easy check. If you’re constantly dividing people into saint/sinner piles, I’d say you’re mixed up.
And if you find yourself lying, lying, lying and lying, well…
The more you lie, the more you have to lie, just like the more you drink, the more you have to drink.
Do you habitually delude yourself?
Do you sacrifice innocent people to maintain your delusion?
Do you deflect blame onto the backs of others?
Or are you reasonably sober?