Dating Scorpio – The Nature Of The Deal Posted on August 16, 2020 by ElsaAugust 16, 2020 I’m often asked, “How do you make a Scorpio…” Er… you don’t. Let’s talk about it! Related posts:I Survived Uranus Square PlutoLooking Bad, But Believing You Look GoodAstrology And Fashion: Aishwarya RaiBlack Moon Lilith in Virgo – Reluctant Angel
Ha, Ha Elsa P! You nailed us Scorps, which you also did in the other post about Scorps and secrecy, which I wrote a long comment for and then deleted because I felt too exposed! *sitting here laughing at myself for being such a chicken*
Great video! I have a number of Scorpio Sun friends but for whatever reason, have never dated a Scorp. My boyfriend has Scorpio rising/8th house Sun, however. I know what I’ve got that works for them – Mercury/Pluto.
Elsa, I just bought that exact same top on Saturday! So cute! (sorry to copy – my Sun/Uranus will make sure I never wear it to the same place as you 😉 )
That’s so true. Almost every friend/partner I’ve had has a venus-pluto aspect and they do this. It feels like an initiation or something. I respect them though and avoid going anywhere ‘sacred’, and they do the same. That bit about control is also highly accurate. If you give an inch, they will take two, and continue to test you. I’m a cardinal type, so that bothers me as I also need to be in control. But when there is respect and both parties avoid crossing any lines, they make excellent friends/partners. Very loyal and caring, for life.
Scorp sun here. Have a lot of planets in the 6th house so wondering what kind of Scorp that makes me?
Anyway, bang on Elsa 🙂 The control for protection purposes is exactly right in my case. I’m extremely careful because it’s all about self-protection. So when someone likes to push up against that, I automatically label as lacking in character/boundaries/respect and basic human decency. And if they mess with me, I just walk away. If they don’t get why I’m walking away, it’s fine, just as long as they don’t follow.
Scorpio rising, sun conjunct mars/pluto. Once a relationship is over I do not want contact and I just won’t tolerate someone trying to dog me when its over. This also goes for stages in my life. I have a carefully chosen group of friends who travel with me through life but otherwise I feel like a snake who sheds its skin. When I am finished with that stage,learning that stuff etc I move on. I don’t like running into people from the past because I feel that I am not that person anymore. I like to move through layers of body and mind – FORWARD! I also have that thing where I let someone in according to when it feels right – I have to be control.
“control for protection purposes”
That can be tricky turf sometimes. I have Capricorn and do it to an extent, and when both parties do it at the same time it can get complicated. No one wants to get hurt, so both people limit the energy they exchange, and it ends up making both even cagier than they were before. The only solution I’ve seen that works is a gesture of good will given over time, very, very slowly.
AnaBanana, my sister is a Capricorn and we have butted heads my entire life. Yet we both have dear friends of each other’s sign (I have lots of Cap friends, she naturally gravitates to Scorps). I’ve never understood it. And I did try the goodwill thing most of my young life. At 21, I had to stop because she just kept putting me down and I couldn’t take it anymore.
I don’t think I’ll ever understand her. It’s a shame because we’re so much alike and our other sister is now gone. It’s a shame and sad all the way around.
I don’t understand the Cap-Scorp thing. There have never been many Caps around me, but the ones that have existed, I don’t know they seem to be quite duplicitous. I have no idea what happens here. Oh, and in my various experiences with Caps, there has only been one that I respect. The others to me just seem to lack a moral compass/center.
Carrie – that’s so interesting. My sister has Scorpio and we do the same. I can’t understand it either, lol. She has scorpio moon conjunct Pluto aspecting most her chart. I have capricorn moon square saturn aspecting most my chart. She says I’m not emotional enough, I say she’s overly sensitive, she gets jealous and demands, I get insecure and withdraw…
Lol, it would be funny if it weren’t painful. Maybe one day it will all work out 😉
AnaBanana that is too weird. I find more similarities with people on this blog….freaky, but in a good way.
I pity the sucker who lets other people dictate their freedom of movement.
Bella, are you my twin, separated at birth???????
I’m Scorpio Sun, Scorpio Rising, Aries moon.
I do not go back. PERIOD. I did it twice, once to an ex-husband and once to a class reunion.
People often invite me back to places I’ve shed.
Nope, not going! Thanks for asking.
It literally gives me the shivers. And, it isn’t like I left with a bad taste in my mouth or left in a huff or anything like that, I’ve just finished with those times and places. It’s over. Dead to me except in lessons learned.
I hate seeing people I used to know out and about. GAAAA! I avoid one post office, because I used to know one of the workers, hate Walmart and it’s ilk. Too many chances to run into people I don’t care to ever see again. There’s a place I’d like to work at, but again, someone I used to know works there. I’ve even thought of calling them up to see if she’s retired yet, but don’t want my number to show up on caller id. Can I borrow someone’s phone? Yeah, folks this is how Scorps think. Excellent video Elsa.
Yep, Bella, I think we might be twins.
And, Elsa, you’re right, as a Scorp if there is something I can do for someone I’ll bend over backwards to do it. VOLUNTARILY. But, if someone has the audacity to tell me to do it? Ain’t gonna happen. No way. No how. (Yeah, cut off my nose to spite my face, I get it, but still, there have been people who’ve tried that crap and it’s spoiled something I was already planning to do, but I just can’t abide being told what to do.)
I often wonder if I can date a Scorpio. I don’t mean a Scorpio with some fire or air in their chart, but a Scorpio with Moon, Ascendant, Mars, Venus, or whatever in Scorpio.
I think they’d be too intense for me. I honestly don’t think they’d like my honest and open Sagittarian way. Hell, I don’t even think that they’d like me! I guess I’d prefer to date an Aries or Aquarius.
I m Sagittarius with Scorpio stellium, moon, Venus, Neptune. My ex was Leo/Scorpio ascendant. We had chemistry & that Leo-Sag fire thing. But it’s too long a Story For a blog. My current man is Cancer Sun/ virgo Moon, libra rising from a Natal chart I drew up with 12 noon time (idk his birth Time)
I think his sun, my moon & Venus water gives us that strong emotional connection. He’s water-with fire & in the opposite which is interesting. And his Libra rising & my Aquarius rising give us lots of fairness and tolerance. Good luck to you !
I *barely* survived a relationship with a Scorpio man (I’m an Aries woman) last year, and it was hell to go through. Including the break up 🙂 He would be paranoid as hell, and constantly accuse me of not trusting him and invading his privacy (it is true that I went through his emails, lol). And he was controlling and manipulative with emotions, he would only put out when he was ‘in the mood’ (almost never, lol) and would make me feel guilty about everything I did. That whole relationship was like one big guilt trip and I never knew what I was doing wrong. The most indirect, secretive and paranoid creature I have ever met. Oh, and while he *was* intense, he was not that great in bed, despite being the ‘sign of sex and blah, blah, blah’.
Jesus corina. That sounds like an experience and a half. Im almost glad i didn’t get a scorpions attention back, honestly he struck me as the kind of person that has a shower blushing with clothes on. i mean, i felt THAT ashamed for even being interested in him as a normal person because guess what, he wouldn’t ask me a SINGLE THING. How are you? Nope, he wouldn’t. Courteous sakes? Nope, he couldn’t. That would just be giving me waay too much validation. if you think im exaggerating a bit..nope. I didn’t even need to exaggerate this, the reality trumps ANY and all fictitious wrongs I could ever dump on this scorp dork.
How do you tell a Scorpio to do something – YOU DON’T! Right on! THIS IS SO TRUE! I wish you’d covered in your video a man who dates a Scorpio woman (I am a Scorpio). A man I recently dated wanted to try and break things off with me (still not sure why, no legitmate reason, just a bunch of lame excuses). I say “wanted to try” because he will not succeed. I think he is still trying – LOL. Now, what man in his right mind would break things off with a Scorpio woman? Seems this decision would do nothing for his manhood. And to the above post Corina, Scorpio IS the “sign of sex”. Best sex EVER. I know because many men have told me I am, and I have likewise been with Scorpio men who are. To all you men out there (especially Taurus): DO NOT BREAK UP WITH A SCORPIO, and do not TRY to control them – even with the silent treatment. Bad idea ;p
PS- How do I get my picture in the little box? Love your blog!
Yes, silent treatment = bad idea on Scorp.
Reminds me of an ex who purposefully showed up at one of my intimate and few haunts after dumping me, ostentatiously strutting and also cooing at his *date*. I’m not sure he’d quite realized most everyone there were people I’d known for a long time… a few of them loyal friends. Thank God since I was heart broken stupid. I did not have to do or say a thing. I so love my loyal friends. 🙂
My father has Sun, Mercury and Venus in Scorpio, and I have several male familymembers with strong Scorpio. Maybe that’s why Scorpio is notably lacking from the charts of the men I’ve dated or even flirted with – even the Libras and Sagittariuses one would, based on pure statistics, expect to have some Scorpio in their charts.
I am a Taurus female with a Scorpio moon and have been dating a Scorpio for the past seven months. These last seven months have been a dramatic up and down emotional rollercoaster and I am ready to get off the ride but of course, he won’t let me. Seriously about to relocate to another state to TOTALLY be rid of him. I spend time with him because I do enjoy his company and we have fun (also easier than dealing with his emotional outbursts and arguing) but no longer desire a relationship with him. I have already begun to date someone else to move on more effectively. I love him but do NOT trust him as he has been caught twice cheating. I have invaded his “privacy” to find out and he is aware of it. He swears he loves me and wants to marry me and despite me saying it’s over, he still refers to us as a couple and discusses our so called future. I no longer argue and allow him to think what he wants but plan my escape as soon as I get another job. I feel bad but at this point, I just want peace!!!
Sag Girl – I just saw your post. That is hilarious! I wonder how many people have tried to Google “how to break up with a Scorpio” ? Ha ha! My post was pretty drastic, but yeah. It happens across the board. Coincidentally, I was dating a Sag guy about 6 months ago. Heaven knows why he would want to break up with me, but he tried and tried, and silent treatment, and passive aggressive bs, none of it worked. To this day he still thinks he’s being sly, and has resorted to lying to his friends about me – which has more hurt him than helped him. Really, open honest communication is the only thing that works with a Scorpio (I told him this initially and he didn’t comply), or like you said, you will be talked into a circle. The Sag will have to give, eventually, and just be true to the facts. This Sag pursued me for 7 years, and then thinks that with the silent treatment, belittling me, and badmouthing me behind my back I will just go away. WRONG. The relationship was his creation, so its even more on him. Never cross (or try to break up with) a Scorpio! 😛
Yep. You nailed it, as usual Elsa.
one of my faves 🙂 makes so much sense.
in addition, scorpio lives by this like it’s a golden rule. if we split up, i won’t be going to your haunt. i also don’t assume i’m getting the real deal on a first date.
So true. I have four planets in Scorpio. I do have a place that I like to meet for a first date. And it’s the only time I go to this place:) I wonder what the bartender thinks. I like this place because I never see anyone I know. This is also why I don’t like to date people from my own town (which is small). I don’t want to run into them…ever.
I have noticed this trait more with Pluto in the first house and moon in the 8th … which happens to be my chart … : )
So true!!! I have a lot of planets in Scorpio, and my 8th house. Hehehe.
But I am not a Scorpio Sun. Scorpio people are vengeful. [=
That is interesting, Bella. However, my makeup is very different from yours. I am Cancer sun, Leo rising wide conjunct Lilith, Pluto in the 3rd & Mercury in the 12th. But you sound JUST like me! I have to do that frequently. Once I’m over a situation, person, place or thing…I don’t look back. Ever.
“You are not going to be able to make a Scorpio do anything.”
That’s precisely right. You cannot manipulate them, or guilt trip them, or badger them or even just reason with them. Nothing works. They make up their minds and that’s it.
I love this video. This video is the reason I found you Elsa 🙂 and every word of it is true! Yep…Scorpio sun people are vengeful but only if you give them a reason to be. Leave them alone and they will never bother you 🙂
OH yeah, once they make up their minds, that’s it. So true. Like they see things black or white and no middle.
Scorpioandproud: Yes, exactly. NOt just scorpio sun though, ppl with a lot of planets in scorpio too.
Lol loved your post Lisa. You started this, and i gave you my all. You will not make it as if its nothing. I will get rid of you when I’m ready to let you go. In the mean time, enjoy this ride whie it lasts Hahahaha!
See I actually think you can make a Scorpio do something. I will just make you pay dearly for it. And I will hate your guts.
Why do Scorpios ever have anything to do with anyone except Scorpios???
You’d think anything else is below them.
But, this is only a theoretical question. Personally I have nothing in Scorpio, but I often have the feeling that they are the Aristocracy of Astrology.
The War of the Titans must be Scorpio against Capricorn – that must be a humdinger (although a bit sterile perhaps?).
Just watching from the sidelines, however. (Thank gods)
It’s all Chinese to me.
I don’t have anything to do with Scorpios and I don’t enjoy being one. Its torturous sometimes. I don’t know who the high flying better than everyone Scorpios, are but I feel pretty bad a lot of the time. (feelings hurt easily) Also I normally really love the Capricorn. Its all Chinese to me too Satsun.
Its not a privilege nor a cake walk having dark water. Its really quite painful sometimes. I have yet to figure it out. I have never been around a lot of Scorpio suns until the last few years and the ones I had to deal with on a regular basis were harsh. And, I didn’t like them. Me with the 5 planets.
I have been thinking about this myself lately. I can only come up with….emotions. Not that others don’t have them. They sure do. I tend to take things wrong at times and let things hurt me when I should blow them off. Then comes the anger. Anger is always a secondary emotion ….never first. So, maybe that’s where it starts. After a lifetime I have yet to figure it out but I can see on some strictly Scorpio boards that there are some folks boasting and talking badass… its interesting to read it.
I am always drawn to fire suns or people with heavy fire in their birth charts. I am also drawn to earth. I have yet to figure out the folks with a lot of air. The good news is, it takes all kinds of people to make the world go round.
You’re really good at hitting nails on the head, Soup. Myself, I love being Scorpio but it’s a hard assignment in the lonely, dark and forsaken territory we travel. I agree on the Scorps repelling one another though I always enjoy your posts. I had a Scorpio boss who berated me all along and most Scorpio actors/actresses are repellant to me. I do have a sort of Scorp friend now though. We keep each other at arm’s length.
I have had 2 bosses that are scorps .One I loved one I could not stand.I cant think Of a scorp actor or actor I dont Like.. Kathy Griffin the comedian I ca not stand gives scorps a bad name..Ryan Gosling I don’t think he is all that. I have not had much contact with scorps other than this forum and other astrology groups.
GTO I think there are some real low flyers that give the whole lot of us a bad name, not that we aren’t capable of flying low. Cos…we are. But so is everyone. The only conclusion I have come to is that what would normally just hurt another persons feelings — guts us! And, then we either cut back deep or completely amputate because the pain is so great. It’s a survival thing. When you live in a lot of water you have to deal with some really deep dark emotions. And that is NO FUN. And can actually make you physically ill if you don’t cut and run. I mean like disease ILL….
There are people that can handle the pains in the world and it hurts them but they are able to transcend much easier. We wallow in it. And….then here comes either amputation, revenge or an all out war. In many ways I would call myself emotionally retarded.
This gives people the idea that these suns think they are better than everyone when in fact most of the time they feel the exact opposite at no fault of their own. It takes hard work to rise above the darkness within.
You think I would want to date or marry someone with what I live with or worse….HELL NO…I would run in the opposite direction. And, this is probably why I married two sunny Sag guys. My Cap grandma raised me. She is the best person I have ever known. I have only met one that I have locked horns with and she has a Scorpio asc lol
I keep hearing that hammer hitting the nail precisely on the head. True, what you write. Opposites attract for a good reason, to balance things out. I never dated a Scorpio woman, even though they’re awesome (loyalty, depth, discernment, wisdom). Women are already hard enough for men to figure out and then there’s the whole Scorpio persona adding to it.
The ex-husband has his Virgo Sun conjunct Pluto. He couldn’t be bothered to pitch in with housework. He repeatedly said, “Just pay someone else to do it.” That was “code” for do it yourself.
You’d think anything else is below them.
Why do Scorpios ever have anything to do with anyone except Scorpios???
Those people are scary. 🙂
The War of the Titans must be Scorpio against Capricorn – that must be a humdinger (although a bit sterile perhaps?).
Ooo. I’ve had a couple of those. But I have Mars in Capricorn so I kinda like that kinda thing.
[‘Not sterile, but icy cold.’]
Haha, Satsun. At least 50% of the people close to me have had Scorpio prominent in their charts. But I have only Jupiter, and Neptune: Abundance, plus that Neptune thing, “nuée” (cloud, throng, fog… multitudes, are possible synonyms).
By the way. You probably know, in French when we say, “Chinese to me” translates into “Greek to me” in English. Idiomatically speaking, that is.
Je te souhaite une année magnifique, avec tout ce que tu desires!
(Translation: I wish you a wonderful year, including all your good wishes for yourself and those you love.)
Pretty sure I’d go back to their haunt just to pester them if i felt like they betrayed me. I might even bring a new date to their haunt. Actually I might even take over their haunt and make it more mine than theirs. I’m rebellious though and scorpio does not scare me at all.
I try to be kind because that’s how I want to be treated. I’d never poke an injured animal. Generally, I would break-up on semi-congenial terms and stay friendly enough with each going their own way. But if someone intentionally tried to stick it in my face, it would be game-on (unless I didn’t think it was worth wasting time on). First, I probably wouldn’t go back to that haunt for quite a while because of the soiled memories the place would hold. What’s a party if the guest of honor doesn’t show up? I wouldn’t disappear, I’d just be making a new life somewhere else. Second, if they wanted to play mean games, they might find it’s chess, not checkers and the game has been underway all along. Having dated, I know a lot about them. Nothing’s richer than using someone’s own proclivities to deconstruct them. People can’t help but be themselves.
First of all who says they would be an injured animal? Second of all whose to say anyone I would date would be anything like you are? Are all Scorpios the same? I think not. Thtird, to each their own- you do things your way and I do them mine. And finally, maybe taking things personally when it has to do with an astrological sign is actually a shortcoming.
I mean some people protect and defend their astrological sign way too much man, there may be some issues there. I’m not trying to play chess with you either. My original comment was very light hearted. It was only a halfass joke, not to say under some circumstances it’s not true.
I had a relationship with a Scorpio many years ago. He took me to amazing places I didn’t know about in my home town, Oxford, UK. He showed me priceless art hidden in colleges; murals painted on walls by Rossetti. He showed me stuff that’s not in any guide book. I did, however, go back to these haunts after we broke up. I knew he wouldn’t mind. I was expanding my knowledge and thereby transforming myself – and he was all about personal transformation. An amazing guy!
Sorry but i do not understand this silly fascination with Scorpios. Most of them I met are self-distracting individuals who are biting themselves in the ass while trying to scare or intimidate others. I have a strong Aries moon trine venus in Leo. While initially like their Scorp’s intesity, soon their need for possessivnrss and control starts to get annoying to me. And THEY ALL do that one way or another.
i don’t think anyone can get a fixed dominant to do anything, without them complaining about it. lol (in the case you get to harass them, which is terrible too)
Your video nailed it, Elsa! My Libra Sun is in the 8H. I have done just what you described when I was dating.
Hahahaha, made me laugh to think about my first ‘date’ with my husband. I lured him (a crab) to the beach, shared hot chocolate(all those magical properties!) and the rest is a fairy tale that keeps on telling. I’m an old Scorpio, protective of myself yes. But the evolving part of an old Scorpio who keeps surviving is how MANY ways I protect — and share over time. Nope I’m not easily made to do anything, but love that I can trust a few who stand the tests over time. That by the way, includes learning to trust myself.
“The nature of the deal” is included in this topic title. I like that, the nature of the deal about being a Scorp … nature is no straight lines. Undulating fixed water.
They usually keep prying people at bay. I have this sort of mantra in my head – ‘keep your secrets, I don’t need to know.’ I mean it and don’t mind it. Some mistery never hurt anyone. How else would a gemini and a scorpio would even be in the same room? ?